What is Savage Garden talking about?

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What is Savage Garden talking about?

Darklyvan Darklyvan
Here's the lyric : "I believe that trust is more important than monogamy" Savage Garden Affirmation

Ok so how do you have trust if you don't have monogamy? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.
07/25/2012
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- Kira - - Kira -
So I'm in a monogamous relationship, but we had for some time entertained the idea of me getting a girlfriend. My husband was fully aware that I was looking for a girlfriend and I often translated back to him what was said between me and any girl I was talking to. What's not to trust? He knew what was going on, he was fully informed. I would never have made a move with anyone without discussing it with him prior.

I also informed any girl I was talking to that I was married, had no intention of sharing my husband, and that he was aware of me talking to her. Honesty on all counts.

Trust comes from being honest about things. It's not based on the number of people you're in a relationship with. If I'm faithful to two people, why should there be less trust in me? If I have a girlfriend AND my husband, I wouldn't add anyone else without consulting them both. If I were to do something without either aware of it, that would be lying and thus destroy the trust. The fact that there are two relationships in and of itself does not destroy trust.
07/25/2012
Peggi Peggi
Very easily.

From the very first "boyfriend" I had in the 3rd grade (the type where you hold hands and share your lunchables) I've always been in poly-relationships. Always.

The thing about it is, you have to set down guidelines and respect one another's wishes, and if you don't trust your partner in a poly relationship, you wouldn't trust them in a monogamous one either.

Some relationships require you to tell your partner about other partners, and in ours we've always had a deal. If someone new was added to the relationship on either side, the other partner(s) must be aware of it, and "approve" of it. For example, I wanted to date a girl who one of my girlfriends didn't like, so I let it go, because I didn't want to cause jealousy or tension between someone I was already with. She trusted me once I asked about this girl, to not go behind her back, and I would've trusted her or any of my other partners to do the same.

My husband knows about my girlfriend and we've all hung out together, and I was with her first and she knew when I met my hubby. Right now I only have 2 partners, and it will likely stay that way, but my husband trusts me FULLY and knows that if I ever had an interest in someone, he'd know about it before the person I was crushing on did.
07/25/2012
Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
So I'm in a monogamous relationship, but we had for some time entertained the idea of me getting a girlfriend. My husband was fully aware that I was looking for a girlfriend and I often translated back to him what was said between me and any ...
I feel that this is the best way to keep a long-term relationship with multiples when you are in a poly-relationship

Being open about it is always best. Some couples have a rule about only meeting on certain days/times and the partners are never supposed to meet, but I don't think I could do that myself. I feel I'd become paranoid or worried that they are with someone I don't like or trust. I prefer to be fully informed
07/25/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
I feel that this is the best way to keep a long-term relationship with multiples when you are in a poly-relationship

Being open about it is always best. Some couples have a rule about only meeting on certain days/times and the partners are ...
Yeah, I feel the same way. Plus I'm an overly honest person and I wouldn't want my husband out of the loop on anything I did. It would feel too much like cheating.
07/25/2012
hot lil momma hot lil momma
Trust is the basis of any relationship I've been in. So I can see where the lyric makes sense
07/25/2012
Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by Darklyvan
Here's the lyric : "I believe that trust is more important than monogamy" Savage Garden Affirmation

Ok so how do you have trust if you don't have monogamy? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.
trust =/= monogamy

To trust is to place your confidence in someone, to know that you can depend on them. You can do that regardless of whether they are your one and only, or just one of many partners. By the same token, there are plenty of people in monogamous relationships that have no faith in their partners, be it emotional, financial or sexual.

I'm happy that I have both trust & monogamy in my relationship, but if someone said, "you can't have both," my priority would be trust.
07/25/2012
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 5