Luxury' Sex Toys for the Extremely Rich and Creepy

Lucidity Lucidity
I thought my fellow Edenites would appreciate this amazing Cracked article.
11/10/2011
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Lucidity Lucidity
I want sooooo many of these!
11/10/2011
Kkay Kkay
Some of these are reaching. What's so weird about gold-flecked massage oil? Seriously?
11/10/2011
LilLostLenore LilLostLenore
wow pricey.
11/10/2011
Love Perpetua Love Perpetua
I think the gold handcuffs are beautiful.
11/10/2011
indiglo indiglo
LOL You know you're an Edenite when you start thinking... yeah, I have about enough gift cards to cover that. Some of those are actually really nice looking!
11/10/2011
kendra30752 kendra30752
Some of the little articles were funny. WOW! Some of the products were just outrageously priced though! There's no way I'd spend that just for diamonds on my vibe!
11/10/2011
Errant Venture Errant Venture
18 carat door handle? Hehe.
11/10/2011
Cherrylane Cherrylane
I think the only thing out of line there is that they included "creepy" in the article title. Really, a prostate massager is creepy? It's not even that big.

Massage oil?

A super traditional slimline by JJ? I mean yeah the materials are luxury and a bunch of diamonds is a wee bit over the top but it's not "creepy."

The boys over there at cracked need to chill a wee bit.
11/10/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
I was thinking about sharing that article, but I wasn't sure how it'd go over. I read it yesterday. Last night at Denny's my friend pulled it up on his phone to show me. I laughed reading that article because I actually own something on that list (the Lelo oil).
11/10/2011
Taylor Taylor
Haha I've bought that massage oil and written a review on it. I guess I must be extremely rich and creepy.
11/10/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
LOL You know you're an Edenite when you start thinking... yeah, I have about enough gift cards to cover that. Some of those are actually really nice looking!
Hahaha! Totally!
11/10/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I was thinking about sharing that article, but I wasn't sure how it'd go over. I read it yesterday. Last night at Denny's my friend pulled it up on his phone to show me. I laughed reading that article because I actually own something ... More
I think "luxury" items mean something else to those of us who know the joy of good sex toys and fine accessories. Also, $40 a bottle isn't outrageous, for a quality item.
11/10/2011
Antipova Antipova
Okay, when I was a dirt-poor grad student living on a stipend, and was researching sex toys for the first time? I fell in love with the Lelo Earl. I don't care. It looks so classy.

Granted, the price tag is still more than my rent by a factor of 3, so I'll be waiting til I'm at a different stage of life before springing for one. But come on, how is it "creepy"? It's beautiful.
11/10/2011
AndroAngel AndroAngel
Can Eden carry the Earl? I'm sure I could save that up in gift cards given time, and it's gloriously pretty and outrageous... I'd love to be able to tell my friends that I masturbate with a gold sex toy.

And the cuffs, I'd love to have them for play-parties. They really would make an excellent accessory.

And the Sterling Silver and Cherry Wood Spanking Rod... Except I'd prefer white gold...

This list is more a "Toys to aspire toward owning" list than a joke.
11/10/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Lucidity
I think "luxury" items mean something else to those of us who know the joy of good sex toys and fine accessories. Also, $40 a bottle isn't outrageous, for a quality item.
You're probably right. But after trying that $40 bottle of oil? The only thing that makes it worth that much is the gold in it, which I guess would be a "luxury" because it isn't often that we need to be covered in gold micro flake. Although I may get myself another bottle as a Christmas present
11/10/2011
lilly555 lilly555
Okay while the diamond encrusted vibe and obscenely overpriced masturbation mirror were uncalled for there were things on that list I was getting the gimmies for.
11/10/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
Can Eden carry the Earl? I'm sure I could save that up in gift cards given time, and it's gloriously pretty and outrageous... I'd love to be able to tell my friends that I masturbate with a gold sex toy.

And the cuffs, I'd love ... More
That spanking rod was to die for!
11/10/2011
Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Lucidity
That spanking rod was to die for!
Agree---the spanking rod was incredibly pretty.

That said, they were right when they said you could hire your own artisans for that much. I know a paddle guy, (well, only over the internet) who made me this paddle, where the wood is just as pretty, and there's more of it, I'm pretty sure



which he lists on his website for $40 (google Bullmoose paddles) . Only mine was later than he originally told me (not that I minded! It's gorgeous!) so he gave me a huge discount.

So... just pay an artisan piecework and... I don't know... ask ToyTimeTim to make you the handle out of steel. Save like $2000.
11/10/2011
Ex-prude Ex-prude
hilarious.
11/10/2011
Rarity Rarity
Some of these aren't very creepy at all!

The cone is on their list of 25 of the most disturbing sex toys.
11/10/2011
AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Agree---the spanking rod was incredibly pretty.

That said, they were right when they said you could hire your own artisans for that much. I know a paddle guy, (well, only over the internet) who made me this paddle, where the wood is just as ... More
Actually, now that you mention it, I think I can find some cherry-wood around the house here, or get myself a branch from a dogwood and make my own spanking rod... Ooooh!
11/10/2011
- Kira - - Kira -
Words cannot express how much I need the JimmyJane Little Platinum Eternity. Seriously. That is GORGEOUS! I can't believe I haven't seen that before. Is it sad my thought wasn't "jeez how expensive!" but "I wonder how strong it is..."? I might just be willing to save up for a five vroom, diamond encrusted vibrator. That would be the pinnacle of my collection.

Also, LOL at the masturbation mirror. I'm not sure who needs that. Just use a regular mirror? That seems unnecessary.

Edit: I just noticed the JJ wasn't rechargeable. Nearly 4k and you still have to shell out for batteries. That's a little lame... I still totally want it.
11/10/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Agree---the spanking rod was incredibly pretty.

That said, they were right when they said you could hire your own artisans for that much. I know a paddle guy, (well, only over the internet) who made me this paddle, where the wood is just as ... More
That is beautiful! Wow. I agree, it's better to pay an artisan to make something custom for you.
11/10/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
Words cannot express how much I need the JimmyJane Little Platinum Eternity. Seriously. That is GORGEOUS! I can't believe I haven't seen that before. Is it sad my thought wasn't "jeez how expensive!" but "I wonder how ... More
It's pretty much the Little Chroma, but with diamonds I think. I want it cuz it's pretty too lol.
11/11/2011
Missmarc Missmarc
I am kinda surprised that Lelo flickering touch message oil is in there. It's really only 29.24 right now with the daylight saving sale.
11/11/2011
- Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
It's pretty much the Little Chroma, but with diamonds I think. I want it cuz it's pretty too lol.
I haven't bought that one yet because I'm worried it'll be too weak. I'd feel pretty dumb buying something so expensive and then not being able to get off with it. And yet, still I lust for it. I could always frame it.
11/11/2011
Total posts: 27
Unique posters: 17