Once a cheater, always a cheater

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Once a cheater, always a cheater

Mwar Mwar
Do you believe the saying? Why or why not?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes
31  (38%)
No
43  (52%)
Other
8  (10%)
Total votes: 82
Poll is closed
03/13/2012
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herMaster herMaster
Even if the other person never does cheat again, they will always be a cheater in your eyes as you can never trust them again once they do it once.
03/13/2012
CindyH CindyH
i believe ifb they do it once they will do it again
03/13/2012
Secret Pleasure Secret Pleasure
I think that more often that not it proves to me that this saying sadly is true. However, with that said people do grow and learn from their mistakes and it is possible that people can truly change.
03/13/2012
KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
...it would depend on the person I suppose, for the most part though I think I'd give any cheater one (and only one) more chance.
03/13/2012
Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Secret Pleasure
I think that more often that not it proves to me that this saying sadly is true. However, with that said people do grow and learn from their mistakes and it is possible that people can truly change.
Pretty much my answer here. People are able to change other things about themselves if they truly work on it, so why assume that cheating is any different?
03/13/2012
ellejay ellejay
I don't think it is always true.
03/13/2012
Tork48309 Tork48309
I think so, It is definitely a sight into their morals of respect for another.
03/13/2012
js250 js250
I voted other. There are some exceptions to the rule, as well as other circumstances.

I cheated on one person. That was 16 years ago, I will never cheat again. My husband (who is the one I cheated with) did the same thing. I know he will never cheat again as well. We were both in dead end marriages, sleeping in separate rooms and only staying for the kids... SERIOUSLY! We had also been friends for a few years, no bullshit involved. We finally gave in a month before we were each getting our separate divorces, yes we should have waited for moral/legal issues. We did not and 15 monogamous years later, we are still making it work, sometimes better then others, but we still love each other, are best friends/worst enemies, and will work as long as we love....should be a lifetime with the bond we have.

I am not trying to justify anything, but am trying to explain that it really depends on why and circumstances.
03/13/2012
MrWishyWashy MrWishyWashy
I have never cheated and/or been with anyone who has cheated. Personally, I think people can change if they really want to and put forth the effort.
03/13/2012
calliope calliope
No way. My husband did while we were dating. Then we got back together and got married it's been three years and he hasn't. Cheating is so out of character for him though and he didn't have sex.
03/13/2012
C-Rae C-Rae
To me it all depends but to me.. Kinda. It's a gray area in my mind still
03/13/2012
Undead Undead
Quote:
Originally posted by Mwar
Do you believe the saying? Why or why not?
It depends I suppose on the person
03/14/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Mwar
Do you believe the saying? Why or why not?
A cheater can earn trust again it just takes time and effort.
03/14/2012
BlooJay BlooJay
No.
03/14/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Unfortunately past performance is the best predictor of future behavior. It's not that people can't change, it's just that when they do it's often temporary.

Just take the example of weight loss - some huge number like 90+% regain the weight shortly after loosing it. Likewise a repentant cheater may control their urges for a time - but eventually the urges will return - and likely the bad behavior.
03/14/2012
GONE! GONE!
No, because sometimes life circumstances can do a number on what you're willing to do to people. The times I cheated on people were because I had been desperately in love with my ex all along (And it was with them.), was only on the rebound with the people I was with, and those people were not what I needed so I was about to break up with the second one anyway and the first time it wasn't even a solid enough relationship to bother being monogamous in.
That was the only circumstance I've ever been in where I felt it wasn't terribly unacceptable. Yeah it was wrong but getting into those relationships in the first place was more wrong than cheating.
03/14/2012
spineyogurt spineyogurt
It really depends
03/14/2012
Falsepast Falsepast
its 100% true no matter what.
03/14/2012
Jul!a Jul!a
My first instinct was always to say "if they did it once they'll do it again!!!" But this was before I had friends who were good people who ended up cheating on their partners. As far as I know it was only the one relationship that she was only still in because they had a child together and hasn't cheated since. But I've had other friends that ended up being cheated on multiple times by their partners.

So I guess I'd go with twice a cheater, always a cheater. Since just about any action can be a "fluke" the first time around. Not saying "oops I cheated!" is the right response, but more that something happening once doesn't necessarily define a person.
03/14/2012
ECU Pirate ECU Pirate
I think people can change, but once you break the trust between you and your partner, it is hard to repair that wound.
03/14/2012
Positwist Positwist
"Cheating" isn't really a thing for me. If my partner wants to see other people while seeing me, they can totally do that, but I want to talk about it. If they want to see someone but they don't want to talk about it, I think of that as a communication problem (usually a fatal one), not cheating.
03/14/2012
Beck Beck
I don't think once a cheater always a cheater, but if cheating goes on in my relationship that means that something was seriously wrong within the relationship. The relationship needs to be discussed and possibly re thought.
03/14/2012
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Definitely not. This is one of the stupidest phrases ever. If you engage in one behavior does that automatically mean you'll always engage in that behavior? Certainly not lol.
03/14/2012
InnocentISwear InnocentISwear
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Definitely not. This is one of the stupidest phrases ever. If you engage in one behavior does that automatically mean you'll always engage in that behavior? Certainly not lol.
Exactly.

I've had more than one friend who has cheated for one reason or another. I think it sometimes depends on your situation.
03/14/2012
Destri Destri
Definitely not. Anyone can change their behavior, and it might just be that if a certain situation changes, so does the behavior. I don't believe in making blanket statements about anything or anyone.
03/14/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Definitely not. This is one of the stupidest phrases ever. If you engage in one behavior does that automatically mean you'll always engage in that behavior? Certainly not lol.
LaUr3n - we agree on many things. But on this I think you have too much trust in the good side of human nature - and not taking the darker side seriously enough.

Cheating (especially in marriage) is not just some 'little white lie'. Someone willing to betray such a serious commitment may very well have - and I think likely - has a serious problem keeping their word in many areas.

Do people change - sure they do. But in my opinion there is a very high likelihood of them repeating the behavior.

Once caught cheaters often apologize profusely - but truth be known they are sorry to have been caught - not sorry for cheating.

Sorry I don't share your optimism on this one - cheat on me and don't waste your breath apologizing - I'm gone.
03/14/2012
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I believe it because it has happened to me in the past. On top of that I had to find out from the bitches they cheated with.
03/14/2012
Kdlips Kdlips
yes
03/14/2012
married with children married with children
I have seen it happen time and time again to friends of mine.
03/15/2012
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Total posts: 48
Unique posters: 47