Once a cheater, always a cheater

Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
Not always.
03/17/2012
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
I said "no", but breaking trust in a relationship is a serious event and it shouldn't be taken lightly.

To me, someone who cheated in a past relationship is different than someone who is cheating with you in your own.

And some people just aren't mature enough not to (this is very, very different than consensual polyamory) and need to work on things before a seriously relationship is tried again.
03/17/2012
Contributor: Silverdrop Silverdrop
Other. I hate that sexual 'sin' is seen as the Worst Possible Crime, when there are so many other ways you can break a relationship and hurt a partner.
03/17/2012
Contributor: Hibangel Hibangel
Like Dr. Phil says, "the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior."

Whether he would ever do it again is irrelevant to me because I believe in "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!" Cheat on me once and we're through, pal. Period.
03/17/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
When in a monogamous relationship, my husband and I were always faithful. Before that, we had an Open Relationship, so seeing other people was accepted. I've been lucky that I've never been cheated on (so's he) but if it happened, I do believe in forgiveness, and would try to work it out. We've been together for decades and I know we could work it out.

It's a different story for some people. I know some women who were the "other woman" when their man was supposed to be monogamous with someone else, the guy had a history of cheating and then she was surprised when he cheated on her. For some people it's a pattern, they are not sorry, and will do it again, if they think they will get away with it.

With other people it IS a one time thing.

My Man and I just saw the movie The Descendents last night. I think it had a very realistic portrayal of the doubt, anger and eventually forgiveness that can happen when infidelity happens.

I know people who have survived cheating and gone on to be completely monogamous, and I know those who are either serial cheaters or are married to serial cheaters. IMO, cheating in a marriage seems worse, as you went to the trouble to get married, make the commitment and all that in the first place.

I don't see it as all that horrible in teen "going out" relationships, because most of these are doomed to break up anyway. I do think it's a much bigger deal when you are committed to each other, have a home together, children, share finances etc. In those cases you have to trust the other person to get through life. When you are just dating, it's often casual, and people come and go frequently and drama seems to be the order of the day anyway. Adult, monogamous relationships, where one really is committed and really has something to lose is a different story.

JMO. Your mileage may vary.
03/17/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
No, I don't believe that. I believe people cheat for very specific reasons and if those problems don't exist in the relationship, then there's a significant decrease in the chances they will cheat again.
03/17/2012
Contributor: dhig dhig
nope not always
03/17/2012
Contributor: cryinglightning86 cryinglightning86
It depends on the person. I think it's a shame to use an old saying to permanently sort a person into a category that they don't necessarily belong in.
06/26/2012
Contributor: lulz lulz
I think people can change
06/26/2012
Contributor: MissCandyland MissCandyland
I don't believe a cheater is always a cheater.
06/26/2012
Contributor: Melan!e Melan!e
I think if you're with the right person, you won't cheat. That doesn't necessarily mean that you haven't cheated before.
06/26/2012
Contributor: Allison.Wilder Allison.Wilder
I have to disagree. I cheated on a boyfriend when I was 18 and am now almost 27 and have never done it again.
06/26/2012
Contributor: HB042 HB042
Quote:
Originally posted by Melan!e
I think if you're with the right person, you won't cheat. That doesn't necessarily mean that you haven't cheated before.
Absolutely. I married young and rather inexperienced. There was a lot I didn't understand about expectations and responsibilities in a relationship. I cheated on my first husband towards the unhappy end of our relationship, with my best friend. It was what it was. While it was physical, it was for angry, emotional reasons. I am remarried now, we have been together for three years. I spent a lot of time in my first marriage, even the happy parts, wondering what if... and I don't do that anymore. I know I'm in the right place now, with the right person.
06/26/2012
Contributor: indiechick indiechick
Quote:
Originally posted by Mwar
Do you believe the saying? Why or why not?
Everyone makes mistakes. Who someone was at 16 or 18 or even in their early 20's may not be who they are later on in life. Likewise someone who you thought would never cheat is fully capable of doing so
06/26/2012
Contributor: Badass Badass
Its a tried and true true story,
06/26/2012
Contributor: sweetiejo sweetiejo
I don't believe it because when someone cheats there are circumstances with each time. I think there are people who will always cheat, but I was once labeled a cheater. I cheated on one of my exs, but there were quite a bit of circumstances with it, but I have never done it to another guy or since that time. So I believe that people can change.
06/26/2012
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by Mwar
Do you believe the saying? Why or why not?
I picked other because I'm really unsure about how I feel about this saying. I don't know if I would stay with a cheater, but I know I would ALWAYS be worried it would happen again. I know once trust is ruined, it will take hell of a lot to fully trust again.
06/26/2012
Contributor: Princess Zelda Princess Zelda
yup! i have never seen a cheater not cheat on some one. happens to the person who he cheats on then the next and the next... And i'm talking about more than one person cheating
06/26/2012