Are you the "Black Sheep" in your family?

Contributor: Petite Cannibal Petite Cannibal
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I prefer to refer to it as the "independent sheep". I refuse to pander to their bullshit, therefore I'm an outcast. I found out my sister is pregnant by stalking one of her social media pages. The only time I will ever meet the kid is ... more
I completely agree with you on the "independent sheep" of the family, Stormy, and I'd only say sorry, but you seem not too bothered by the seclusion of your family, per se. As am I. I'm blamed for everything, not called for meals when it's done unless I'm the one to cook everything and clean all the dishes. I have to be the one to gets A's constantly, and not do any mischief while my female parental blatantly allows my younger brother to snort coke in his room, and drink hard liquor. Just what the f*ck.
01/26/2013
Contributor: chameleon-girl chameleon-girl
I am, but my parents love me for who I am. My extended family...well, they won't be getting invites to my wedding and no one on either side of that equation will be upset about it.
01/26/2013
Contributor: BlooJay BlooJay
Nope, I'm my mom's and grandma's favorite.
01/26/2013
Contributor: Miss Jenn Miss Jenn
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
Over the last couple of months I have realized that I am the offical Black Sheep of my family. I could seriously care less to be honest, but it does hurt and bother me when they exclude me from things. family deaths and other wise. Is any other ... more
Sometimes I am the blacksheep, sometimes its my sister. Its really depending on the day and whats going on LMAO
01/26/2013
Contributor: Allstars316 Allstars316
Nope. I don't think there is one in are family.
01/26/2013
Contributor: Living Doll Living Doll
Oh yes, I'm the black sheep all the way (and my mom). I'm actually in the process of going completely no contact with everyone in my family except for my mom. I'm too old for the abuse and craziness.
01/26/2013
Contributor: SecretKinksters SecretKinksters
Quote:
Originally posted by WhoopieDoo
I might be if my family knew anything about me.
Same here!
01/26/2013
Contributor: Rod Ronald Rod Ronald
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I prefer to refer to it as the "independent sheep". I refuse to pander to their bullshit, therefore I'm an outcast. I found out my sister is pregnant by stalking one of her social media pages. The only time I will ever meet the kid is ... more
You just seriously ripped everything from my own life. I try to stay away, hell I moved as far away as I could when I was young, and yet they still try to pull me into there bullshit. Then, when I show signs of giving a fu*% again, they rip me. My younger brother just had a baby a few months ago, I only found out through a cousin. Oh well, live on.
01/26/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Petite Cannibal
I completely agree with you on the "independent sheep" of the family, Stormy, and I'd only say sorry, but you seem not too bothered by the seclusion of your family, per se. As am I. I'm blamed for everything, not called for meals ... more
I pretty much grew up by myself, so it's nothing really new to me. Even when I was home, I was locked away in my room reading and watching 1950's reruns (oh, and sucking up every possible bit of information I could find on sex, sexual relationship dynamics, and psychology). Didn't know it then but that path led me to Eden, so I'm forever thankful.

There were no family meals, there were no birthday parties, no sleepovers, no trips, no cards from extended family...this was due to a betrayal on my mother's part against the matriarch of the family.

What tore down my immediate family unit was my mother belittling my husband because he refused to do a favor for her that was a serious inconvenience to us and our schedules at the time. She told me she was done with me and I told her "that's fine, you only call me when you want something anyway, fuckyouverymuch have a nice life".

BUT, like I said, I grew up this way. At any given period of time in my life at least one family member was on the outs with the rest of the family. This time it's me and I'm happy to be their little scapegoat. That shit was toxic and I couldn't handle it anymore. I would spend hours after talking to my mother running through all of the things I did that set her off...and she loves, just absolutely loves, to compare me to my father. (That's a whole 'nother Oprah.) So, yeah...in the end it was better for me to walk away. The irony of the situation was she was asking my husband to do something for her, she herself had never done for me. It was a lose-lose situation.

She also treats my sister and I very, very differently. With her she caters to her every phone call, whim, want and desire. Me? "Oh you're fine. You'll be fine. You're my strong one." Pffffffffft. Sometimes I get to breakdown, too.

So yeah I totally feel you on everything you're going through and if you ever need to vent, just give me a shout.
01/26/2013
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
I don't really think of myself as a Black Sheep.
However, there are some indicators that some or many of my family consider me to be so. Last christmas I was back home and saw my now adult niece and her husband with many of the rest of the family. Conversation got around to living abroad and I mentioned to my niece that when my (now deceased) spouse and I were living in germany, we had invited her and her brother (niece and nephew) to spend a few weeks or longer there in germany with us, several times. We'd lived there three and a half years, that time. The kids were in grade school back then. My niece's eyes flew wide and she turned to her mother, my sister, and asked why didn't she get to go. My sister said "with uncle RonLee, no way."

Rod Ronald when you asked "...any other EF'er the 'Black Sheep' of there family and does it bother you?"
No, it doesn't really bother me, however, I'm somewhat saddened for their loss.
01/26/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
You just seriously ripped everything from my own life. I try to stay away, hell I moved as far away as I could when I was young, and yet they still try to pull me into there bullshit. Then, when I show signs of giving a fu*% again, they rip me. My ... more
I'm sorry you go through that. It really sucks to finally relent and give in only to have a new asshole by the time you leave the place. I just don't understand the mentality that goes into play when it comes to this, I guess unless I'm just missing the obvious - "every (wo)man for themselves".


At the end of the day, it's easier to build the wall than deal with the pain because you'll always be wrong and that's that. It sucks.
01/26/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by RonLee
I don't really think of myself as a Black Sheep.
However, there are some indicators that some or many of my family consider me to be so. Last christmas I was back home and saw my now adult niece and her husband with many of the rest of the ... more
That's cold...just ice, ice cold.
01/26/2013
Contributor: RomanticGoth RomanticGoth
Yup. My family used to think I was the "black sheep" because I've always been Goth. Now... I'm the "good" one because I can keep a job and own my own home.
01/26/2013
Contributor: doowop doowop
I'm definitely the weirdo of my family.

Both sides are very religious and conservative, so whenever I see them (once or twice a year) and my hair is either a new shade of red or violet and I have a new piercing, they seem really uncomfortable. They also don't like that I'm not a Christian and that I'm gay.

I have one aunt who is a total hippy and loves me to pieces. She makes up for it. <3 She was the black sheep of the family when she was younger too.

But yeah, if they even bothered to get to know me more, they'd realize I'm the one among my 30 other cousins who actually has their shit together. I wish they could see the crap my cousins post on Facebook.
01/26/2013
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
That's cold...just ice, ice cold.
From what you've written of your experiences Stormy, you've had a more difficult time than I have. My heart goes out to you.
So many of us have experienced such things... sad that people can treat us that way and not feel shamed themselves for doing so.
01/26/2013
Contributor: Feisty Feisty
Yea, I feel like the black sheep...
01/26/2013
Contributor: bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
Over the last couple of months I have realized that I am the offical Black Sheep of my family. I could seriously care less to be honest, but it does hurt and bother me when they exclude me from things. family deaths and other wise. Is any other ... more
Yes. It doesn't bother me. It's a big world out there!
01/26/2013
Contributor: richsam richsam
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
Over the last couple of months I have realized that I am the offical Black Sheep of my family. I could seriously care less to be honest, but it does hurt and bother me when they exclude me from things. family deaths and other wise. Is any other ... more
no im the one that everone calls when its party time cause im the life of the party
01/26/2013
Contributor: Zingy Zingy
Not really, my family knows that I'm a little whacky and comical, but they are not aware of my sexual habits, so I still fit in.
01/26/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by RonLee
From what you've written of your experiences Stormy, you've had a more difficult time than I have. My heart goes out to you.
So many of us have experienced such things... sad that people can treat us that way and not feel shamed ... more
That is very kind of you; I'm the person in the room who never chimes in with stories about my family because they're always incredibly dysfunctional tales. The good news? I've learned so much from it and it's really shaped how I treat others. There's always a silver lining somewhere.

You've had your own hard road, from what I've gathered by your comments and seem to be faring quite well yourself. Just goes to show that we all (here at Eden) probably have a lot more in common than we think.
01/27/2013
Contributor: Andrey2052 Andrey2052
Yes
01/27/2013
Contributor: Hummingbird Hummingbird
I don't view myself as the black sheep of the family though sometimes I feel like one. I'm usually the last one invited if at all to a super ball party. When I am invited and I ask what to bring, I'm always told nothing or just yourself. Yet when I go to an invited place everyone else brings something and I feel self conscious. Besides, conversations with my family are an effort to say the least. We don't have much in common anyway.
01/27/2013
Contributor: ash-with-a-tash ash-with-a-tash
Im completely the odd one out
01/27/2013
Contributor: Voir Voir
I don't think so... I think my bit of immediate family are kind of the black sheep. Most of my family isn't at all ambitious. They are content to breed the creed of 'make it through highschool obtain decent college degree get a (probably given the area) dead end job, marry and pop out more babies.' They have no ambitions for travel or leaving the state or furthering themselves culturally or intellectually beyond what is require to 'make it by' and my dad and brother and I are rather disgusted by that mentality and seek as much... I suppose -exposure- as possible. Or success - preferably both. We've always been encouraged to go above and beyond - that average or just passing isn't enough - but to try our best to be above that. I'm not talking about 'validictorian' of highschool class as much as reaching goals beyond regurgitating knowledge in this fckd school system... and we don't really associate with anyone else except when it is required (funerals or some marriage although it's been years since we've been to one - since my aunt married when I was 8 or 9.).
01/27/2013
Contributor: jfree jfree
Not entirely, unless by my own volition since I'm something of a recluse. Also being the queer one where maybe 1/3 of my family is supportive of my lifestyle and the others are of the Baptist Christian variety.
01/27/2013
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
Over the last couple of months I have realized that I am the offical Black Sheep of my family. I could seriously care less to be honest, but it does hurt and bother me when they exclude me from things. family deaths and other wise. Is any other ... more
I was always the "golden girl". Since I live far away and have gotten the most "stuff" (education=money=stuff ) and thus been out of any family squabbles, but able to be the "host location" for peoples vacation, I remain the "golden girl", rather then the "black sheep".
01/27/2013
Contributor: ShadowedSeductress ShadowedSeductress
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I pretty much grew up by myself, so it's nothing really new to me. Even when I was home, I was locked away in my room reading and watching 1950's reruns (oh, and sucking up every possible bit of information I could find on sex, sexual ... more
Sounds an awful lot like my situation with my mother. With her side, there is always someone on the outs, as you said. It really is ridiculous but it is what it is. Whenever my mother is mad at me she always tells me I'm just like my dad and it's never meant as a compliment.
01/27/2013
Contributor: RedGlitter RedGlitter
Nah...I really don't think any of us is the "black sheep"
...well, Hell, then it MAY be me after all!
01/27/2013
Contributor: CountryPrincess CountryPrincess
The man i call my dad is actually my stepdad and he has three kids all older than me. my dad treats me like his daughter and even though I've known all his kids since I was in the first grade they treat me like the evil stepsister and you can tell I get treated differently now by my grandmother than they do. I don't like it at all but at the same time I've just dismissed it now and try not to pay any attention. I get along with my mom and my dad and my little brother who is my blood brother and that's all that I care about anymore LOL
01/27/2013
Contributor: The Vixen The Vixen
A little bit. I come from a very conservative and religious family. My political and opinions about sexuality are very different from them. They know I'm different but they don't really know how different. I don't usually bring up these topics so we get along just fine, but when I do we often get into a bit of a debate.
01/27/2013