Bullying Because They're Different?

It really sickens me to see people getting bullied. I was never bullied in school, but somehow managed to be that one magnet no matter where I moved or what school I went to, where all of the kids who were bullied sorta flocked to me, and I swear my parents and I will never understand how I got through school without a single expulsion for fighting. It got to the point where my High School counselor, Mr. Cole, had to actually see me every Friday, because of the constant fighting, and yet nothing was ever done to help my friends because "kids will be kids"! It hurt. A lot.

I had one friend in particular, she was actually bullied for the same reason you mentioned. She was constantly made fun of because she was heavy. She started hurting herself in the 10th grade because she was so depressed and I remember being really scared because at the time, I was her only friend, so I was the only one who knew and I promised not to tell anyone because that was the only reason she told me, but I was worried she would kill herself. So that was a really tough situation to be in! She and I are still friends til this day and we graduated over 5 years ago. But it was tough for her in high school and tough on me because I know what bullying did to her.

I had another friend I've known since 2nd grade and he dropped out of school because he would literally get sick every day at the thought of having to go to school and he was that "fag" that everyone liked to beat up after school. I think he could've done a lot more with his life if he hadn't been bullied as much as he was. He did get his GED finally but he is so smart and could've gotten college degrees and had a better job (he thinks so too) if he hadn't had to drop out.

I think that bullies need to be locked up. If they're too young to put in jail, put them in juvi! It should be considered a crime!

Bullies make me furious, their parents even more so, and it really pisses me off that the authorities never seem to want to do anything about either of them. I've never understood the excuse of "It's just kids being kids" either. That's like saying it's acceptable for them to hurt each other, so don't even bother to try to teach them that it's wrong. Just when *do* these people think it's appropriate for that lesson to be learned? And then they wonder why our society is so full of criminals these days.

I have no tolerance for bullies. I was teased and bullied most of the time I was in school horribly by kids and was even singled out by teachers. I was bullied because I was heavy because I didn't do what other kid did I came from a family that didn't have money etc any and every reason. It made me hate school and I dreaded going everyday. I loved to learn but I hated the environment. It wasn't until I socked a kid in school for trying to set me on fire that people left me alone.

Bullies and those around who allow/do nothing to stop it upset me to the point that I don't have words for it. I only wish that those who are getting bullied of course didn't have to but would be able to depend on someone to help them stop it before it gets to the point of death or permanent scaring. I know for me even after all these years I still harbor mental scars and troubled emotions about my self worth and value because of it and it's one of the reasons I have severe trust issues.

I'm so thankful I didn't start a fight, you have no idea..

But Peggi, I missed most of my Freshman year for this reason. Sadly, I also resorted to hurting myself, then to substance abuse.. I had issues all the way up through my Junior year, when my life suddenly changed for no apparent reason at all. It was really awful.

Today, I look back at all the kids who bullied me, and they've gotten nowhere in life. While I may not be able to get into/afford college because of my grades, my personality has taken my far. I'm six months into my new job and I have an assistant manager promotion lined up for me in December. I can't say that they're doing so well at all.

But I can't look back at in and laugh. It still hurts too much. They say you'll move on and get over it, but I don't think you ever do. It haunts you for the rest of your life.

It really is criminal, and I don't understand why it isn't seen that way. It doesn't matter if they're an adolescent. They know right from wrong at that point, and it makes me sick to my stomach that their parents will either condone what their child is doing, or turn a blind eye! While you can't control your children, you can teach them proper behavior.. And letting them bully another child certainly isn't appropriate behavior.

But it's really good that he got his GED! I feel like it still shows that he has the initiative to go somewhere in life. It's just so shameful that he had to go through that, there's no rhyme or reason for why it happens.

I was friends with this girl since my Freshman year. She got pregnant at 17, and was teased so mercilessly that she got expelled for fighting. She's since then struggling to raise her child, and get her GED. People just don't realize the damage that they cause..

Alan & Michele, I'm on the same wavelength. They wonder why there are some people who snap and go on killing sprees, and all of that nature.. But they never look into their past, they simply say that they were "severely disturbed."

I realize I seem to have quite a bit to say, but again, I just can't even fathom this.. And I can't express the rage and disgust properly. It makes my stomach churn, and brings tears to my eyes.

Bullying is being trapped without an out. It's torture, plain and simple. That so little is done about it... think about what the reaction would be if someone showed even a fragment of the bullying behavior that children regularly experience as an adult.

It's a difficult topic for me to talk about. I was heavily abused as a child, and my experiences in school showed me that far from having a safe haven, I instead had one more place in which people could submit me to endless pain. More than once bullying made me attempt suicide, and thinking about this right now is putting me in a very not-good state mentally, so I'm just going to hit post and go do something else.

I certainly agree. Nobody should be made to suffer for who they are. It's been a rough journey, and I still feel like people see me as a fat cow, branded as a slut..

I don't have children, so I can't relate. But I do have a younger sister who looks up to me, and it's been a struggle to be strong for her, since she has to suffer for things that are so infantile in nature. It just doesn't make sense.

Kkay, I'm sorry to have brought up painful memories for you. It wasn't my intention to do so.

The bully side of it angers me cause my brother was a victim of it. I was also bullied in my early years of primary school.
I won't comment on the rest of the subject cause for sure people will get uppitty about it.

But the main point - bullies suck and teachers should be doing more to protect victims!

I was a weird kid, smart, opinionated. We didn't have a lot of money as my dad was still in Grad School, so my clothes were cheap and crappy. I was teased a lot, bullied, in 6th and 7th grade so badly I was close to suicide. When we moved at the beginning of 8th grade I had the ability to stay at my old school or go to a new one. I chose, at the start of 8th grade to start over at a new school.

As the schools were close, some of the "mean girls" knew the a mean girls at my new school. One day the mean girl at my new school came up to me and said that people at my old school were saying that I said I was more "popular" than she was. WTF? That wasn't the kind of thing I even thought of. This little bitch tried to perpetuate what I was trying to get away from. BUT, my new friends all stood around me, and told the mean girl to piss off. She was so mean and exclusive that by the middle of 8th grade she had alienated everyone in our small school. She ended up going to a Catholic High School as her rep was ruined and despite the fact that she was a "mean girl" she was only "popular" in her own mind. Really, why do people act like her? The other kids refused to go along with her self appointed royalty. (They had in 6th and7th grade, but something happened and people decided not to listen to her mean ways anymore.) She left in disgrace, due to her own actions of trying to break peoples' friendships apart.

I've never before or since see a mean girl get what she deserved. I would like to see this happen more often.

My solution is to isolate the mean girls, put them into a "special class" maybe a special ed class where they will be the different ones. Or in a completely different school, where they have NO contact with their lieutenants etc, and have no opportunities to bring any other girls into their evil ways of thinking. Keep them there until High School is over. Do not allow them to try out for Cheer leading (fuck, ELIMINATE Cheer Leading, it will make the Mean Girl less common at the start!) or other activities, (they can joining Chess Club or Video Gaming Club if they want, see how they do there) and basically force them to feel what the trodden upon girls feel every fucking day. If these girls even have feelings...

I went through it and I saw my older two girls go through it and I am TERRIFIED for my nearly 12 year old daughter with Aspergers and Tourettes. I swear I will take matters into my own hands if she gets bullied if the schools do nothing, as the teachers often "see nothing" and often try to make friends with the "popular girls" to either relive their own childhoods as mean girls or make up for their own bullied lives as young girls who were left out.

Many Queen Bee mean girls have personality disorders (look at their behavior; manipulative, mean, non-empathetic, cruel, disruptive to others' friendships) it's been proven that most either cannot relate to or refuse to learn to relate to people different than they are) and those kinds of disorders don't respond to therapy.

Hell, Throw them a bone, let them try, but I don't see them changing. They are the same in their 30s and 40s as they were when they were 12. I think most of them are incapable of Internal Growth and self introspection and any ability to see themselves or have empathy for others. Again, these are Personality Disorder traits.

The Mean Girls need to be identified, labeled and dealt with as fully and publicly as possible.

I didn't see the boys as bad as the girls, it happened, but it was different. Not being a boy, I can't relate to it, but I'm willing to bet some guys here have some ideas on how to deal with Bully Boys. Maybe disallow them from participating in any sports and take them out of PE class; that is where a LOT of bullying happens, because so many PE teachers seem to relate to the Bully Boys and the Mean Girls.

I get bullied a lot.
My mother raised me to speak very good English and let me watch X-files and operas and such. Also, cause I had a Japanese first name I really wanted to get into the culture.
I've always been the laughing stock of my family, then in schools.
Inner city schools, where I was supposed to mingle and grow with my people?
I spent four months in middle school hiding in the bathrooms, with my grades slipping. My mom would scream at me every night and accuse me of doing drugs and I was grounded and everything. I just couldn't admit to her that I was having issues. Finally, when one girl blacked my eye I had to fess up, and she instantly switched me out of schools, after pressing charges.


She sent me to a much better middle school and HS, and while there was some teasing, I roamed the halls freely.

Now, as an adult.. I'm in Maryland, which can be ghetto and I get made fun of a lot. By co-workers and everything, it still hurts my feelings but.. whatever.
I like what I like. So what if I'm literate? I do not tolerate bullying.
My nephew is homeschooled and tries to play with the boys in his neighborhood, he's simply too naive to understand they are bullying him until he's facedown in the dirt. The urge to kick those boys in their faces, is overwhelming.

Relating what happened to me will only upset me (as I'm transitioning between anti-depressants right now and very vulnerable). However, I will say that I came away with a few things:

1. Children are barbaric savages and should be treated accordingly when they act that way.
2. One of the reasons I don't want children is so they won't be subjected to such hell.
3. If only the people who tell me to "Get over it, it's been 15 years!" knew how much I wanted to use a baseball bat on them.
4. The public school system is the best way to kill the soul of a sensitive child.
5. Death is too kind and brief - I hope my tormenters have the most horrific lives possible because of what they did.

Bitter? Damn right I am.

I want to everybody on this thread.

ss NO doctor should ignore a patient.

Hugs and love to all of you. To a future of unique happiness.

Bullying makes me sick. I was terribly bullied as a kid. They used to throw food in my hair, and call my house all the time making fun of me. They used to call me howard stern because I had really thick hair. In group projects no one would let me help and they would act like I had the plague and I couldnt even touch the papers or anything. They always set up things to humiliate me infront of the whole school during lunch periods or breakfast. It was like a movie, where Id be the one kid standing there crying while a few hundred kids pointed a laughed. The teacher would notice and constantly yell at them, and she was always on the phone with my mother about it. I cried almost every single day coming home, and than tried to kill myself. It was just about that bad. I had to go to a lot of therapy.

Now all of them have had kids before high school, and none of them went to college. I live in LA and work on movies. So what doesn't kill you makes you stronger aye.

-p.s. p'gell I grew up in chicago. The rougher neighborhoods. I was the pale mexican kid who couldnt speak a lick of spanish. Which made all of the bully happen 10 fold cause I wasnt like the other kids.

I was severely bullied in school. My family was poor, I wore donated clothes, had no electricity and was also very tiny. I grew up with a serious complex and also became suicidal as a teenager and young adult. Even now, there are times I revert to my old insecurities. I was also put in a special class for 'geeks', I have a very high IQ. The summer between my freshman and sophomore year, I developed D cups, had a 22" waist, etc. The first week of 10th grade, I seemed to be quite popular and naively welcomed it - until everyone claimed to have slept with me, etc. I was still a virgin, was absolutely crushed and quit school. Suicide attempt #1. I will shorten the story, we don't have years to read everything.

I started bartending, I was accepted by adults for who I was. My boss talked me into getting my GED. I passed first time I tested, with the highest score in essay, comprehension and science. I started talking to and helping people with their problems and made a difference in two peoples lives.I made some lifelong friends. I was still insecure and shy and falling apart. What saved me was getting pregnant with my child.

I realized that if I was going to be the mother that I wanted to be for my child, I had to find a way to cope and turn myself around. I used my past as a learning curve. What was the positive that grew out of the negativity I grew up with?

1. I am a sincerely caring person. 2. I empathize with people and their situations without judging them. 3. I am loyal and very giving to those who deserve it. 4. I do not give up...until there is no other option, (this can be a bad thing). 5. I appreciate the differences and choices other people make. 6. I am grateful for true friends, love, and have an innate desire for happiness. 7. I make myself happy, I do not depend on others for my happiness. 8. My child has grown into a person I am immensely proud of and am honored to know. 9. Life sucks, gets better and sucks again - but for every door that is closed one will open again.

Take your experiences and use them for good. It is the only way I can survive and be happy. I fail frequently and am depressed occasionally, but I am also at peace with the fact that what you go through makes you a better person if you use it for positive in the future.

i have heard a number of stories where something like this has happened, & it makes me physically sick sometimes. but the fact that people are teasing his sister about her brother's suicide, that really makes me sick. wtf is wrong w/ people? if someone dies, you don't tease their friends & family about it. what is our world coming to?

Even though it might not be a popular opinion, I don't think the schools themselves have much power over bullies. Think about it, teachers can't really do much with disruptive students except send them to the principle's office.

I chalk most of the blame up to the parents of bullies. They're the ones who raised their kids to make fun of other kids through either encouragement or neglect. And these would probably be the same parents who throw fits in PTA meetings and threaten to sue school districts.

If you haven't researched it, the "It gets Better" movement is awesome!

JR, that is a great movement!! P'Gell, I agree, the schools, parents and law enforcement need to get more involved. There needs to be a safe haven for kids being bullied.