Cliques on Eden (Private Poll)

Contributor: TransMarc TransMarc
Don't know, but I guess I'm also somewhat new, still!
05/09/2012
Contributor: SecretToyLover2 SecretToyLover2
I wouldn't exactly call them cliques... I mean people who have been here over time develop friends and are f course going to socialize with them and look for them in the community.
05/09/2012
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I voted "I'm on the fence..."

and I do see what you mean, and I remember when I was new and it felt like my questions didn't get answered or my thoughts weren't often responded to.

But I kind of told myself "it's a forum, nobody can see you, nobody is going to walk over to the wall and ask you to dance. If you want to participate, just participate!" And so even though I might not have been responded to much, I still had fun pitching in to conversations.

And... I was really surprised when somebody had a thread a few months ago about "forum regulars" and why nobody seemed to be online lately... I responded with my answer of working weird hours, "but I don't know if I count as a regular or not" and like six people responded right away saying that of course I was a regular! I was so surprised, I didn't know people were actually reading what I wrote.

So, I guess what I started this to say was, it's probably less about people strategically ignoring others, and more that we're actually just focusing on other things. I feel like I know you because I see your name a lot... even if I don't respond a bunch. And there are people who I'm familiar with and I know they ask questions that I can be helpful in responding to, or that they ask questions that are interesting to me. And I'm more likely to click on their threads, sure. But not because I *dislike* or am *weeding out* other threads.


Anyway---one other thing? You might want to switch away from having a default avatar to a customized one. I am more of a words person, but the people who are visual might easily confuse you back and forth for newbies.
05/09/2012
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
I really don't think it's a "clique" thing. As people are around here for longer they do develop relationships with one another. Perhaps the things one person posts are things you enjoy. Maybe you enjoy their personality and what ... more
Really, this lovely lady summed it up. I tend to open posts if someone I know has posted them more than I might open a thread by someone I don't, and I follow posts by certain contributors.
05/10/2012
Contributor: DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
I mean, yes there are cliques; there are cliques in any community, online or not. However, cliques are formed because people are constantly seeing each other and are chatting and interacting--which means you can't be part of any clique if you've only just arrived.

I remember when I first started posting on the forums there was this one contributor who, when I saw her posts, I thought to myself, "I want to be like her."

I can't say whether or not I AM like her her, but it doesn't actually matter to me now. I've been here long enough to know that not every thread I start is going to be a winner; not every post I make is going to get lots of praise--even if it totally should. I've been here to know that just because someone doesn't comment, doesn't mean it didn't help someone; not everyone has something to say.


Being a Cool Kid is all about time. Show up. Talk to people. Comment with genuine statements--tell me, "Thanks for telling me about your toy melting, I didn't know that was possible with silicone lubes" because then I can tell you all the cool shit I know about silicone melty toys. Tell me you think my avatar is amazing and I'll tell you why I started using it on the forums and why I probably won't ever change it. Tell me that you think I'm totally wrong in that post I made so I can tell you why I'm not. Tell me that my review reminded you of this episode of SNL and it cracked you up.

Start a dialogue with me--with all of us--and you'll realize there isn't actually a clique at all.
05/10/2012
Contributor: lilly555 lilly555
I see you're point and I've been there. Although in general I don't make threads too often and have learned to try the search engine first. Still getting your threads ignored when your new happens. I think there might be a viewpoint that as a newbie you're going to ask a question that's been asked a million times before. That's not fun or interesting, we get tired of seeing the same questions. If that kept happening the forum wouldn't be fun.
But I'm also guilty of taking part in cliqueish behavior. I usually don't go to the forums looking for threads unless they are posted by Stormy or another EF Staff member. Usually if I want to find a discussion to post on I look at my wall and see what those I follow are posting on. I figure it saves me the trouble of going through threads I have no interest in.
05/10/2012
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
I haven't really noticed. I pop my nose into threads no matter who started it.
05/10/2012
Contributor: plaidvulva plaidvulva
I've honestly never really felt this way. But, then again, I don't read everything and hardly ever check to see if anyone responded to things I say.
05/10/2012
Contributor: MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
Been there, done that and felt that. Even today my thoughts (posts) go unanswered and I too feel left out at times. As this is pretty much the only social outlet I have and use every day, I have learned this is just part of life. Hell even at church ... more
I hear ya Tim. I actually felt the same way when I was going to church with my mom when I was younger. I felt really out of place. Thats probably why I stopped going. No Church should ever make you feel like that .

Im a huge flirt too lol. Some folks see it as threatening and some can joke about it with ya. Luckily for me, my husband knows that Im faithful and its all in good fun. Usually tho, its with our close friends and he knows I'd never go there.

This is pretty much my only outlet or source of communication with the outside world, so its hard for me to feel ok with my posts going unanswered. Jmex posted this mainly because I was talking to him about it and felt a bit uneasy and felt like "Omg no one likes me!" LOL. Yeah, stupid I know. I feel so damned childish about it now, but when this is really the only source of "outlet" that I have, its frustrating sometimes.

Theres been posts that I have made that were well thought out or things that I really felt as though I was doing a good job at contributing to threads with, and yet no one really said much to me for those posts. Which hurts, but I guess I'll get over that lol. Sometimes it takes a while to "fit in" to certain things especially when you're still fairly new.

As for you Tim, trust me, Jmex and I feel that you have been one of those folks that really make folks feel welcome and you've been great. By the way, Hi Neighbor LMAO! (jmex is my hubby-not sure if you knew that or not).

Jmex and I spoke with someone lastnight and they kind of put these things into perspective for us, so were doing better with it all.Just wanted to see if we were the only ones that felt this way or if I was being a big baby about it LMAO
05/10/2012
Contributor: MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by RomanticGoth
Hmm... I see the cliques and feel that it's not my place to even bother with them. If someone wants to send me a message or respond to something of mine, that's fine!

I try to just comment in threads that seem interesting. If nobody ... more
LMAO @ Butt-hurt. I Love that saying!
05/10/2012
Contributor: MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by Ropey
I agree with you wholeheartedly!! I'm a "newbie" but have never felt left out. I completely understand that discussions and posts get lost in the shuffle, and I'm sure I will accidentally ignore someone too, if I haven't ... more
lol @ contact a doctor. I can assure you Ropey that my husband and I are ok in that aspect. Well, at least we think we are .
05/10/2012
Contributor: MamaDivine MamaDivine
I just wanted to add a huge thank you to everyone that posted here. This post was mainly for myself. (Jmex is my husband). I felt stupid about this sort of thing and I didn't want to start the thread because I know that it sounded a tad childish and I didn't want to cause some sort of uproar lol.

We were talking about it and I kept saying to him "Well I thought my responses/posts/thread s were really good! But no one is responding to it?" and I started to feel a bit...Awkward. Ya know, like that gumpy kid that no one talks to or about LMAO!

I know that a lot of the times I don't have much interesting to say or add to stuff here, I try but sometimes it just comes out blah or silly or just plain boring. Other times though, I will write a novel and really put a lot of thought into it and when everyone else is being responded to or "Yeah, thats a great idea-good point" etc etc....I tend to feel like "Wow, I wrote all that and it didn't even get a response?" I know-Again-So high school right? LMAO.

My thing is, this forum is pretty much where I go to relax, have fun, learn new things, meet new people and mostly, this IS my social outlet. I know, how sad lol. Im a stay at home mom, my friends all live across state and my family is usually nowhere to be found because they are so busy with their lives. Im stuck all day at home with my darling baby girl and no vehicle or money usually to go anywhere. So this IS my social outlet, this is where I go to relax and try to make friends or be a apart of something. I know for some folks, that might seem a bit lame, but I have always been into being a apart of online stuff since I don't get out a lot so I guess I was just feeling a lil silly.

I have to add that there are a handful of you that I feel like I know, because I see you a lot around here, posting and what not. Some of you have been super sweet to me, and Jmex and really helpful too. I don't want to leave you all out and say that no one has EVER been there for us, so I want to say Thank you to those of you that have been so warm and welcoming.

And I want to apologize for being such a big baby LMAO.
05/10/2012
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
I hear ya Tim. I actually felt the same way when I was going to church with my mom when I was younger. I felt really out of place. Thats probably why I stopped going. No Church should ever make you feel like that .

Im a huge flirt too lol. ... more
Did not know that, I love seeing couples around here. Wish my wife would get on from time to time but she is pretty shy so I understand. I am pretty sure we all feel this way from time to time, I think it's just the way of the world. Don't let it get you down.

Hidy ho neighbor! (know to get you to move to the real Michigan. )
05/10/2012
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
I just wanted to add a huge thank you to everyone that posted here. This post was mainly for myself. (Jmex is my husband). I felt stupid about this sort of thing and I didn't want to start the thread because I know that it sounded a tad childish ... more
Don't apologize for anything, just be your self and have fun. I am in the same boat, all my friends live thousands of miles away and money is super tight for us too. My free time is spent with the kids, when their home, work around the house and here.

I think this is a great thread and talking about you feelings is perfectly fine. After all, that is what this forum is for.
05/10/2012
Contributor: MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
Did not know that, I love seeing couples around here. Wish my wife would get on from time to time but she is pretty shy so I understand. I am pretty sure we all feel this way from time to time, I think it's just the way of the world. Don't ... more
lol the "real michigan"? Dare I ask? lol.

Yeah, I get what you mean. Its a part of life. Jmex and I spoke with Stormy about some of this yesterday and she pointed out some really good pointers and what not. She kind of helped put things into perspective. Sometimes I need someone to crack me upside the head and tell me to "Get real and get over it" haha! Which she did, nicely and I thank her for that!

Jmex got on the forums after I started telling him about all the awesome stuff going on here on EF. I have been with Eden since about Nov or Dec of last year. Then after me blathering on and on, asking him to sit with me to figure out what we wanted and what not, he decided to "screw it, I'm getting an account" lmao. This way too, he can get stuff for me without me knowing about it. He likes getting me gifts from here since he knows its pretty much the only "wishlist" that I have teehee!
05/10/2012
Contributor: MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
lol the "real michigan"? Dare I ask? lol.

Yeah, I get what you mean. Its a part of life. Jmex and I spoke with Stormy about some of this yesterday and she pointed out some really good pointers and what not. She kind of helped put ... more
Oh and as far as your wife being shy goes, I understand that. I think that she would have a blast on here, even if she was "incognito" lol. No one has to know its her
05/10/2012
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
lol the "real michigan"? Dare I ask? lol.

Yeah, I get what you mean. Its a part of life. Jmex and I spoke with Stormy about some of this yesterday and she pointed out some really good pointers and what not. She kind of helped put ... more
Ya, you folks in the lower peninsula and all. Come UP to Pure Michigan.

"Say da to the Yupper, eh?"
05/10/2012
Contributor: chantalgiardina chantalgiardina
Quote:
Originally posted by jmex83
Do you ever feel as though EF forums can be somewhat clique-ish? I don't mean this in a bad way, and I don't mean to offend anyone. But sometimes I feel like there is a definitive line that is drawn between those that are "seasoned" ... more
you will see that with any online community.
05/10/2012
Contributor: MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
Ya, you folks in the lower peninsula and all. Come UP to Pure Michigan.

"Say da to the Yupper, eh?"
lmao oh lord. I didn't realize you were a northern MI'er lol. I remember "Da Yoopers" from yearssss ago lmao.

You can keep the UP, I prefer my winters to not freeze me into the house lol. Its still cold down here, but I don't think I could handle the winters up there. I've been to Marquette I think it was? wait, maybe thats not it. Crap lol. I visited with an ex boyfriend just across the bridge about an hour in or so? It was beautiful up there tho!
05/10/2012
Contributor: DeliciousB DeliciousB
Quote:
Originally posted by jmex83
Do you ever feel as though EF forums can be somewhat clique-ish? I don't mean this in a bad way, and I don't mean to offend anyone. But sometimes I feel like there is a definitive line that is drawn between those that are "seasoned" ... more
This is very new and different to me. SO I love knowing the reviews are coming from others that have really used the products.
05/10/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
lol the "real michigan"? Dare I ask? lol.

Yeah, I get what you mean. Its a part of life. Jmex and I spoke with Stormy about some of this yesterday and she pointed out some really good pointers and what not. She kind of helped put ... more
I do what I can. You just gotta relax. That's all. I remember Sam telling me that no one knew who she was until she hit a hundred reviews.
05/10/2012
Contributor: panda555 panda555
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
Been there, done that and felt that. Even today my thoughts (posts) go unanswered and I too feel left out at times. As this is pretty much the only social outlet I have and use every day, I have learned this is just part of life. Hell even at church ... more
I agree with with you. Sometimes it's nice to know where you think you would stand with someone before maybe acting our normal selves with people as everyone is different and may not like what we consider to be normal antics. I have only been joined for a short while and have already felt very welcome.
05/10/2012
Contributor: SaraW0512 SaraW0512
Cliques are part of life. You become friends with someone that is friends with someone and so on. It just happens. There is just so much going on in here to reach out to every one. Take a step back and take the time to reach out to them individually. I havent really talked to anyone except Beck but everyone seems really nice.
05/10/2012
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
I mean, yes there are cliques; there are cliques in any community, online or not. However, cliques are formed because people are constantly seeing each other and are chatting and interacting--which means you can't be part of any clique if ... more
Words right out of my mouth.
05/10/2012
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by plaidvulva
I've honestly never really felt this way. But, then again, I don't read everything and hardly ever check to see if anyone responded to things I say.
It's extremely helpful and considerate to check back on the things you say in the forums.
05/10/2012
Contributor: Allstars316 Allstars316
I'm sure there is and I see it from time ti time. But that is okay. EF is huge. We all have are friends on here.
05/10/2012
Contributor: MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I do what I can. You just gotta relax. That's all. I remember Sam telling me that no one knew who she was until she hit a hundred reviews.
lol oh geez. Well, I Hit mine-and with as much as I post on here, if folks don't know me by now, then their either not paying attention or they don't come here often hehe.

No worries, I got some things sorted out, so Im "Chillax'ed" lmao.
05/10/2012
Contributor: RomanticGoth RomanticGoth
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
LMAO @ Butt-hurt. I Love that saying!
Someone replied to something I said.... Oh my!

Wait! Something must be wrong on the internet!
05/10/2012
Contributor: jmex83 jmex83
Thanks for responding guys. your feedback is awesome!
05/10/2012
Contributor: DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
lmao oh lord. I didn't realize you were a northern MI'er lol. I remember "Da Yoopers" from yearssss ago lmao.

You can keep the UP, I prefer my winters to not freeze me into the house lol. Its still cold down here, but I ... more
You could both just move to a real state and come to New York, you know.

05/10/2012