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Originally posted by
jmex83
Do you ever feel as though EF forums can be somewhat clique-ish? I don't mean this in a bad way, and I don't mean to offend anyone. But sometimes I feel like there is a definitive line that is drawn between those that are "seasoned"
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Do you ever feel as though EF forums can be somewhat clique-ish? I don't mean this in a bad way, and I don't mean to offend anyone. But sometimes I feel like there is a definitive line that is drawn between those that are "seasoned" and "Lifers" on Eden that have been here for years....then you have the "newbies/other" category. Sometimes when I respond to threads, no one responds or continues with my thoughts/ideas but yet there's always the same handful of folks that go back and forth to continue the discussion. Don't get me wrong, I love reading the dialogue and thoughts between members, but it almost feels like (and my wife and I have discussed this and feel the same way) that because we're not "in that category" that we just don't fit in as well. Its almost enough to just stop posting responses or threads . And again, I don't want to upset anyone, not pointing fingers and I'm not complaining or whining about it. I just wondered if anyone else felt this way, or if I am kind of off with my line of thoughts and feelings on this matter. This is a private poll, but if you are brave enough to share your stories/thoughts or suggestions on this matter, I would love to hear your thoughts or situations where you felt the same as I do or seen it happen. Also, How do you think that we can better address this sort of behavior?
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Aw. First of all, I want to say I'm sorry you're being left out.
I agree, that's how it is. I don't know why. I don't understand that kind of behavior because my personality is the opposite. I'm very talkative and friendly and love people so I never (intenionally) exclude anyone, even if they've been hateful to me before. I will admit, it's happened to me, but not only being excluded, being talked to (written to) in an extremely hateful manner. I replied with kindness and left it alone. It never feels good to feel what you're going through.
Second of all, DO NOT stop posting. No matter what others think here, there are many people like me here who are happy to have friendly conversation with you. I enjoy your posts. Don't stop.
I hope that I'm not quilty of ignoring anyone. As pathetic as this may sound, my friends (even the online ones!) are really important to me. Sometimes I don't go back to threads I've created because I can't darn find them and that's why I often don't respond. Also, I forget.
However, I always like when someone copies and pastes their reply to my thread in a message that way I can get back to them. A lot of times I do go back to threads I've created and will message the people who've left responses. I message them because most don't go back to a thread they've already commented in.
In some cases, people just aren't friendly and are only around for points. In other cases, they simply can't think of much to say and then sadly there are those that have hard feelings toward you for whatever reason. Online, unless someone's been tremendously hateful to me numerous times, I'll still be civil. Sometimes you have different opinions and some people don't like you for that--believe me! I am learning not to feel bad when this happens to me and just roll my eyes and find something else to occupy my mind when I get rude/hateful comments from people. I've had to do that quite a bit lately. Today when it happened, I logged off immediately and worked on a craft project. It helped. I deleted the messages and worked to push it away from my mind. It's hard to do that though.
I just hope you and your wife won't let others stop you from enjoying yourselves and other people here. Maybe it would help when you're feeling this way, to go start a convo with a more friendly member here? I think that could be nice.
It helps me. I promise there are friendly people. You just have to sort through the negative to find the positive
Well, I understand your feelings, if that helps.
I happen to be a sensitive person at times like today so I often take the things people say to heart and that doesn't neccessarily mean I'm bad. Then there are times when I'm thinking screw this, and laugh about it. It totally depends though. I think this should be a fun place and most often than not, it is. I usually don't take things really seriously, but it's true that some things can be hurtful and you can't help that. Everyone here has their own personal lives and we don't know what they're going through so I try to see it like that. I might feel crappy about a hateful comment for a few minutes, but I usually pull myself away from the entire place and have strictly fun time! However, I hope everyone is careful about hatefullness (I mean actual hatefullness towards people) Just because it's online doesn't mean nasty remarks don't hurt. If someone just doesn't relate to you/understand you or your writings, that's totally different.
After reading some of the other responses here, it was kind of eye opening. I had no idea that some people felt the way they did. I think this was a great thread! See, I had the impression that some people here were bothered by others trying to communicate with them and reading the responses, I see that that isn't the case at all. I guess a lot of it has to do with online talk. You can't read body language, see someone's facial expression so you don't always understand their attitude and that makes it complicated and easy to misunderstand.
