Do you consider yourself a feminist?

Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
You're just rationalizing - there is nothing that will demonstrate for you that gender-based preferences are unfair. Oh yea - raise that guy's taxes - just don't raise mine - I know the drill.
Oh but I do believe gender-based preferences are unfair. Just most of them in our society are biased towards men, especially financially and educationally. Men do get unfair treatment and are limited by social expectations when it comes to emotional expression, occupational choice on ocassion, and the above mentioned circumstance of clothing.

But no, there's no way I'm going to feel compelled to see "reverse sexism" (which is impossible, anyway) just because a particular college funds the women's crew and not the men's. I say I can't explain why because I'm sure there's a specific story behind for that college. Who am I to even guess the reasoning behind it? But really, funding an extra-cirricular activity still isn't fundamental inequality. Just strange is all it is.

And I don't feel anyone can tell me that women are treated equally now. Not when I grew up hearing, and still hear today, people all around me trying to hold me back based on my gender.

"You can't be that good in math - you're a girl. You must be cheating."

"I'm sorry, honey, but you can't grow up to do what Daddy does. That's for boys only."

"Wouldn't you rather be a nurse, honey? Women become nurses and men become doctors."

"Oh you're looking at this car for your daughter? Well, I won't waste time showing you the engine then." ... "Let me drive it off the lot for you first, little lady, then you can test drive it. Don't want any accidents, do we?"

"Hello, miss. I'm calling for the head of the household. Is your husband at home for me to talk to?"
10/20/2010
Contributor: CaptainBunnyKilla CaptainBunnyKilla
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
If you had a son you'd understand the point. It's still true that there are dozens of affirmative action programs for women. For example my son is on a college rowing team - they get no funding from the university. The women's team is ... more
It's totally fair in that the school has to put equal funding into boys' and girls' sports, by law. So just because the rowing team isn't funded doesn't mean boys aren't getting just as much sports money as the girls. That's a question of allocation, not of girls being unfairly privileged.

(Former rower here, btw. Great sport.)
10/21/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by CaptainBunnyKilla
It's totally fair in that the school has to put equal funding into boys' and girls' sports, by law. So just because the rowing team isn't funded doesn't mean boys aren't getting just as much sports money as the girls. ... more
Oh that's very true. I don't know much about rowing specifically but at my alma mater, our school had to fund a lot of the women's sports but not the men's because they were drawing in millions of dollars through private donators and the community and the women, well, weren't. I wish I could go back in time and go to more women's sports events to support them. But I was such a nerd and spent most of my time studying and doing homework.
10/21/2010
Contributor: CaptainBunnyKilla CaptainBunnyKilla
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
Oh that's very true. I don't know much about rowing specifically but at my alma mater, our school had to fund a lot of the women's sports but not the men's because they were drawing in millions of dollars through private donators and ... more
What usually happens is that the bulk of the boys' funding goes into football, because universities like to make money. There isn't really an equivalent for girls, so their money tends to get spread out over more sports. Hence, fully funded womens' rowing teams and totally unfunded mens' teams. It's unfortunate, but the proper target for one's dissatisfaction in this case is football culture, not feminism. And good luck with that, considering how much money football can bring in.

I completely agree with your earlier post: statistics simply don't corroborate much of the "boy crisis" hysteria.

This is an excellent summary of the research that has been done and this is an example of one such study.

I've never been clear on why education has to be a zero-sum game. Just because girls are doing better doesn't mean that boys automatically have to do worse. And statistically, they're not. Getting equal rights for girls is not creating a problem here.
10/21/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by CaptainBunnyKilla
What usually happens is that the bulk of the boys' funding goes into football, because universities like to make money. There isn't really an equivalent for girls, so their money tends to get spread out over more sports. Hence, fully funded ... more
Very eloquently put, CaptainBunnyKilla.

And those are excellent articles and I thoroughly enjoyed reading them. And I agree with the football culture thing too. At my alma mater, it's a basketball culture thing instead, though our football team still brings in millions of dollars on its own. It's the ACC hype.
10/21/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
The revenue side of college sports is the missing link in Title 9. Title 9 ignores the fact that men's sports generate substantial revenue for the schools. Hype or not - revenue is important to the schools and nurturing that revenue is important. I don't know why women's sports are not bringing in the revenue - but they don't. You can't make people buy tickets - we vote with our wallets.

Colleges all of the country cannot find female athletes to spend the money on so they end up going all over the world to find Korean golfers, eastern european track & field stars - would it be such a crime to spend that unused money on men from here in the US - it's mostly tax payer dollars and our tuition payments.

Another anecdote - the Women's rowing team at the University of Louisville just opened a huge state of the art facility for training - again for the men - nothing, they can't even share the women's facility.
10/21/2010
Contributor: CaptainBunnyKilla CaptainBunnyKilla
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
The revenue side of college sports is the missing link in Title 9. Title 9 ignores the fact that men's sports generate substantial revenue for the schools. Hype or not - revenue is important to the schools and nurturing that revenue is important. ... more
OK, but I'm still not sure why spending equal money on girls and boys could remotely be construed as unfair. I'm sorry the men's team isn't funded and can't use the facilities, but that's an issue of allocation. Lobby the university to divert some money from football. There are plenty of women's teams that aren't getting much money either.

If you take money away from the girls to spend on the boys as you are suggesting, that would be unfair. And as a recruited college athlete, I can assure you that Division I schools go to FAR greater length and expense to recruit the top male football/basketball players than they do for any women's sports.

This really isn't a boys vs. girls issue. It's a football vs. everything else issue and it really doesn't have squat to do with equal rights or feminism.
10/21/2010
Contributor: Riccio Riccio
Of course I am a feminist, just as I am antiracist and a communist. Is any system that represses the abilities of 50% of the world's population worth maintaining?

Whether discrimination is based on the color of someone's skin, sex, culture or class, it only damages the victim but also the victimizer.
10/21/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
No one's progress, success, or happiness should rely on the discrimination or disenfranchisement of another. We should all look within to figure out what's holding us back but also what gives us strength. Now let's all get in a drum circle, hold hands, and love each other.

(I can't help but laugh now cause when my dogs get cranky at night and start growling at each other we all yell: "Love each other!" )
10/21/2010
Contributor: M121212 M121212
I am a feminist. Purely because I adore women and the power we posses. I think that genders and the differences between them are super interesting!
01/26/2011
Contributor: KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
My stance on this is really hard to explain. If I explain my views, some might think that they are the same as a feminist and that I am one. However, its the way that I wish to present them that is different in my opinion. I don't need a name. ... more
I happen to agree with her here. I remember when I came to college I told my new found friends that I hated feminists because they were annoying and acted like they had superiority complex. I am woman, and therefore I am better than man. They told me I was crazy and accused me of being an ultra conservative Nancy Grace type. They really didn't get my point though.

I've grown up a little, but the core of my feelings is still the same. Any movement, whether gender, sex, or racially based should be about acceptance and equality. Now I'm all for female empowerment, but I am by no means a man-hater or a feminazi. I feel happy being a woman, and I'm all for women's rights, but I'm more for less constrictions on birth control methods (By God that stuff should be free if not nearly free), more Planned Parenthoods (they closed the one in town and now I'd have to drive at least an hour and a half to get to the closest one), and similar things. I have very liberal feminist friends that are all for not shaving, or having that lesbian experience in college, or blah blah blah whatever. If it's right for you, fine.
01/26/2011
Contributor: KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by Kim!
I find it funny (in a sad way) how people who consider themselves feminists and want to get rid of these gender stereotypes and roles have such an issue with people doing what they enjoy in the bedroom.
I'm the same way, I want my equality in ... more
Amen!! Some feminists are against female subs and favor the domme or find BDSM entirely unhealhty, but that's no one's fucking business to get judgey about sex with consenting adults. That's certainly a hot topic for me.
01/26/2011
Contributor: KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
I used to really consider myself a feminist, based solely on the fact that I think women need to have equal pay rates and should have total control over their bodies, including reproductive rights.

There is a blog I read religiously called ... more
Okay, I apologize for posting several times in a row on this thread, but I'm lapping this shit up.

Blinker, you took the words straight out of my fucking mouth. I made a post about this, but you worded it better. Yes, reading feminist blogs, (no offense to the feminists because I do read and enjoy some), makes me think, wow someone pass that bitch the Midol. But seriously, some posts on there make you think that the authors have completely lost their goddamn fucking minds.

I too love the feminists, but I guess there's always that bunch that make the batch look bad. Some bitches be crazy
01/26/2011
Contributor: Beaners Beaners
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I'm not a feminist, and find most feminists that I've spoken to to be very rude and discriminatory. I believe in EQUAL rights for women, if that's what you're asking. But am I a feminist? No.
There's a girl who I was friends with in college, and she was always kind of feminist. But she recently discovered she was lesbian and started dating a girl and now she's a militant feminist. I can't stand to be around her anymore, so I totally get what you're saying.
01/26/2011
Contributor: DustBunny DustBunny
I support womens rights, but I am also into BDSM, which some people may not understand. It's my choice if I want a man to boss me around in the bedroom, by no means does that mean you can speak to me whoever you want outside of there or if you don't know me. It may seem odd, but I've gone off on people that make comments on my collars. I'm not your bitch, you will not speak to me that way and when I'm done you'll know your place.
01/26/2011
Contributor: PussyGalore PussyGalore
I am not a feminist but I do believe in equal opportunity for everyone - man, woman, gay, straight, black, yellow, polka dot, etc.

I think I agree with Lauren's comment the most.
01/26/2011
Contributor: kawigrl kawigrl
i believe in feminist ideals but I'm not a "feminist activist"
01/26/2011
Contributor: KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by DustBunny
I support womens rights, but I am also into BDSM, which some people may not understand. It's my choice if I want a man to boss me around in the bedroom, by no means does that mean you can speak to me whoever you want outside of there or if you ... more
I understand that. It's an agreed upon thing. It really upsets me that people are really THAT ignorant. Geez
01/26/2011
Contributor: buzz buzz
Plain and simple, I'm not. Despite feminists arguments to try to get me to join their side, I am unswayed.
01/26/2011
Contributor: Miss Madeline Miss Madeline
Quote:
Originally posted by Kim!
I'm just curious how many people here consider themselves feminists. Sex positivity is typically a part of feminism and since this site sells sex toys I would guess that many people do consider themselves sex positive. But then there's the ... more
I consider myself to be a humanist. I want for both sexes to be treated equally. I like the term egalitarian.

Feminism has become a lot like female chauvinism to me, unfortunately.
02/01/2011
Contributor: LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Madeline
I consider myself to be a humanist. I want for both sexes to be treated equally. I like the term egalitarian.

Feminism has become a lot like female chauvinism to me, unfortunately.
This is what I wanted to say but couldn't come up with the words, so ditto
02/01/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Kim!
I'm just curious how many people here consider themselves feminists. Sex positivity is typically a part of feminism and since this site sells sex toys I would guess that many people do consider themselves sex positive. But then there's the ... more
Nope, I do not.
02/02/2011
Contributor: Xavier7 Xavier7
Quote:
Originally posted by Kim!
I'm just curious how many people here consider themselves feminists. Sex positivity is typically a part of feminism and since this site sells sex toys I would guess that many people do consider themselves sex positive. But then there's the ... more
Yup, I do. Women's Rights is still a big issue today.
02/02/2011
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Xavier7
Yup, I do. Women's Rights is still a big issue today.
02/02/2011
Contributor: Kim! Kim!
Quote:
Originally posted by DustBunny
I support womens rights, but I am also into BDSM, which some people may not understand. It's my choice if I want a man to boss me around in the bedroom, by no means does that mean you can speak to me whoever you want outside of there or if you ... more
Yeah, like I said earlier, that part always baffles me. You have these people who want equal rights for people no matter what their sex, gender, preference, etc may be but all of the sudden when you throw BDSM into the mix some freak out a bit. Right now I'm reading parts of Speaking Sex to Power: The Politics of Queer Sex by Patrick Califia for one of my classes and I was more than pleased to see how much credit the BDSM community gets. A lot of stereotypes have come with it in the past and hopefully people are moving past those views. I'm not saying that the oppression is like so many other groups out there but it does exist to some degree on occasion and this book does recognize that.

While I don't wear a collar or anything visible I have had people be a bit surprised that I am rather submissive. It's like oh, you can't be a parent and this strong and independent women who wants all of these rights and be a complete sub in the bedroom.
02/02/2011
Contributor: AU AU
Lots of thoughts, sorry. I felt this was good for me to think on...

I liked the title "feminist" in my late teens and early 20s. It was during what bit of a rebellious phase I had, a bad mix. I think it is common enough a scenario. I'd question everything, so much it could have looked confrontational. But when one acts out towards everything in our culture blindly, one looks like an ass. Some people are like this as adults, identifying with any number of things. They bring negative attention to their issue, unfortunately. It's best to do everything nicely and with some tact? This applies to a lot of things.

Some people like to wear labels and sometimes it's a good thing--humans need some feeling of unity to make progress. But I think there are also dangers in identifying with a group because of possible stereotyping from the outside and from hive-mindedness on the inside. I could say a lot about my experiences, but in short, I eventually became disenchanted with feminism. That is, the feminism I experienced.

So many people hear "feminist" and get a bad feeling. The rare female chauvinist has soured many an impression. It's too bad, because really, most of the feminists I know today don't want much more than they have now. They simply want to be taken seriously if they are worthy of it. The ones I know mostly are very worthy of respect. And they don't all fit the stereotype well. You can't look at them and say, "That's a feminist!" by the way they look. They tend to respect the brassiere, they like men, they are usually fairly chill.

To answer the question of what I am, I could be called a feminist--hearing a man say he's not about feminism makes me feel a little worried about his values, behavior towards women. But really, what I'm for is people (well, and animals, too, but that is another tale.). I stand up for men a lot, probably more than women because I like to fight for what is overlooked. When a woman says "Men are so stupid!" I gently remind her that that game is the one men have played with us. Even if the utterance is in jest, men can take offense, men do have feelings that can be hurt. My male partner and some of our male friends are extremely kind. Heh, these nice guys are probably more of feminists than I am. It's not fair to put them down for things they have not done.

A lot of males think feminism is an entirely female interest, but I don't think it is. I wish it hadn't worked out to appear that way.
02/03/2011
Contributor: Anjulie Anjulie
I consider myself a feminist because i believe in equal rights for EVERYONE, including women. I think some radical viewpoints of people who call themselves feminists have given the name a bad rap (but this is true of almost every belief system--radicals get the most publicity).
05/15/2011
Contributor: CAKES CAKES
Quote:
Originally posted by Kim!
I'm just curious how many people here consider themselves feminists. Sex positivity is typically a part of feminism and since this site sells sex toys I would guess that many people do consider themselves sex positive. But then there's the ... more
yes and no
yes, women deserve equal rights, but i also like for a man to be a man and hold doors open for women and such
05/15/2011
Contributor: Bunnycups Bunnycups
Quote:
Originally posted by CAKES
yes and no
yes, women deserve equal rights, but i also like for a man to be a man and hold doors open for women and such
Women have equal rights as men. I want to have the same rights, but I don't want to be treated equally. I want to be treated like a lady.
05/15/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
My stance on this is also hard to explain. There's so many things that go into being a "feminist" that I personally think it is impossible to explain it all in a year! For one, I'm not for abortion. You'd be surprised since I work at the one place who is controlling that show; Planned Parenthood. I work there simply because I want to be a therapist, and right now I am counseling troubled youth who are going through STD issues, pregnancy issues, or post-abortion issues. I like what I do because I know I am helping others have a better quality of life. It has a lot less to do with being a woman.

Secondly, there are some things that would make me a feminist. For once, I don't see why the hell men get paid more for jobs women do. Even the male counselors get paid more on average for my job at the women's health center. It's horrible, because I actually spend more time at the hospital myself. I think women should be more free to getting birth control, condoms, etc. when they need it. I think it shouldn't take an expensive doctor's visit to have to get it. A trip to the pharmacy should be enough. We do not want to have babies everytime our partner wants to shag. That's ridiculous.

I think that females shouldn't be bound to being housewives, homemakers, cookie bakers, etc. I personally want to choose that route once I have kids, simply because that's what I want. But not every female wants that. Some want to be doctors, fly planes, deliver children, join the military, ride motorcycles, etc. This shouldn't be frowned upon.

And most of all, sex toys. Yes, sex toys. Why the hell is it that half the people I know think it's okay for a male to masturbate, yet when a female does it, it's a huge HELL NO!? And when she does it with sex toys, she's basically immediately going to hell? Screw that.

So maybe I am a feminist, maybe I'm not. But I'm sure close to being one.
05/30/2011