Do you let family/friends borrow money from you?

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Do you let family/friends borrow money from you?

VioletMoonstone VioletMoonstone
My dad called me this morning (he hasn't called in more than a week) and he asked me to loan him $200! He's never asked for that much before. He has the same payday as my boyfriend (today, Friday) so I asked him what the heck happened. He told me he had a ton of bills and an expensive car payment (he has a flashy red car) and that he was flat out broke. I told him I'd think about it.

I called my mom and she told me my dad asked her for money too. She told me that he said it was for a vacation! One of his friends is getting married in Seattle and he wanted to go on a trip. He's been telling my mom about it for like 3 days in a row. He never told me anything about a vacation! I was under the impression he needed money for food and gas ect. I got really angry and called him back. I asked him if he got paid today and he told me yes. I asked him if he had a lot of bills and he told me yes. Then I asked about his so-called vacation and he was all like, "oh well that's not what I meant. I mean yeah it's for my trip but I didn't mean it the way you think. You need to calm down. I just want to borrow some money, it doesn't matter what for does it?" WTH?

I yelled at him and told him to only ask me for money when he needs it. When he needs food, gas, or some other emergency. Not to pay for his vacation. He said in a really pissy tone of voice, "oh, well then I won't bother asked you for money ever again." I was like, "good!"

I have to admit I'm really angry and I'm sure he's thinking bad thoughts of me for yelling at him. There were times where he helped me and my boyfriend out with money when we had desperate times (maybe $50 at the most) but it's extremely rare. When he would borrow small amounts of money from us it would take him forever to pay it back. -sigh- He's not that trustworthy but he has this sneaky charm to get you to believe in what he's saying. I feel bad because it's my dad and I know that if we were struggling he would help us out if he had the money (which he never does!) I just don't feel comfortable giving him $200 to pay for a trip he should have planned himself. Now we're mad at eachother and I hate when that happens. What do you think?

It kind of reminds me of this whole year really. For Christmas he gave me a $5 calender that was on sale. On my birthday we went out to a Chinese restaurant and he was broke and my brother paid for us. Oh yeah, and he invited me and my boyfriend to a bbq at his house. On our way there he called my cell phone and asked to bring buns, chips, ketchup, ect ect... I just don't understand what's going on with him and why he can't handle his own money. It drives me nuts!
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, and it doesn't matter to me what they choose to do with it.
4
Yes, but only if it's for something they really need! (food, gas, ect.)
30
No, I don't trust that they will pay me back in a timely manner.
13
No, I never let anyone borrow money from me because I'm broke.
9
Total votes: 56 (48 voters)
Poll is closed
07/27/2012
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I don't anymore, I've been screwed out of a bunch of money by my mother.
07/27/2012
Mr. E Mr. E
Wow, what a mess. Loaning money to friends and family can easily get out of hand. Good luck.

I did on one occasion help a close relative with a meaningful loan that helped him out of a really tough situation. He was very appreciative and paid me back ahead of schedule. With that said, as a rule I do not loan money, especially not to friends and family. However, I would quickly make an exception for my parents.

If my parents ever got to the point that they were asking for cash, I would not hesitate to step up with anything I could ...as a gift. My parents are the hardest working and most generous people I have ever met. If dad told me they needed money for a weekend trip to Atlantic city...I'd give him anything I could spare and tell them to have a blast.
07/27/2012
Rossie Rossie
We've only lend (or gave) money to my husband's younger sister and brother years ago when they weren't financially stable, we don't do it anymore because they're adults now and should be able to take care of themselves.
07/27/2012
Bullfroggy and Rose Bullfroggy and Rose
I try my best not to loan money to anyone
07/27/2012
BobbiJay BobbiJay
I am a student and single mother. My extra money goes for little things my son or I want.
07/27/2012
Gdom Gdom
When I have the money (which isn't often), I try to help family and friends with financial needs. But yeah, I can't think of too many cases in which I'd help someone pay for their own vacation without a REALLY good reason...
07/27/2012
Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by VioletMoonstone
My dad called me this morning (he hasn't called in more than a week) and he asked me to loan him $200! He's never asked for that much before. He has the same payday as my boyfriend (today, Friday) so I asked him what the heck happened. He ...
My parents are very good with their finances. They probably will never need my help. I will help if they do need it. Any other distant family, I will probably only help out if they are really in a difficult situation.
07/27/2012
November November
As a general rule I don't loan money to friends. I've done it for a couple of friends, sometimes it works out okay and sometimes it doesn't, it just depends on the friend and their situation.
07/27/2012
VioletMoonstone VioletMoonstone
I'm not really that sympathetic to my dad. My mom on the other hand, I don't mind at all. She only asks when she really needs it, she tells me what she's going to use it for, and she pays me back as soon as she can. I believe that my dad didn't tell me a word about the vacation because he wants me to feel bad thinking he was totally broke. He gave me the impression that for the next two weeks he was going to be starving and he literally had spent all of his money. Truth is that he paid all his bills and he has food, he just doesn't have money for a vacation. Tough luck.

I'm mean, huh? lol
07/27/2012
LostinLife LostinLife
I just graduated collage and am in the process of getting my Therapy Licence and have been strapped for cash lately i have been burrowing from my family, but I always tell them and they know that as soon as I get on my feet i will give them back what they gave me plus some I try to help out by baby sitting for them when ever they need and helping other ways
07/27/2012
spineyogurt spineyogurt
Yes
07/27/2012
xcapricax xcapricax
Never ever ever.
07/27/2012
L&P3040 L&P3040
I never let ANYONE borrow money. Just causes to many problems.
07/27/2012
booboo111926 booboo111926
Only if they really needed it
07/27/2012
Anne Anne
I've asked for money before, so I understand firsthand. I just have to know if they will pay me back, if not, I'm hounding them down.
07/28/2012
AnotherPrettyFace AnotherPrettyFace
I had to choose a few answers. It would depend on who is asking, what it is for, and how much.
07/28/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
I lend money to people close to me when they really need it, but they have to be someone close enough to me that I know I'll be easily able to hassle them if they don't repay me in a timely manner.
07/28/2012
LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
I only lend money out to the people close to me that really are in dire need of it. I've been bailed out by my family when it came to my medical bills, so I try to return the favor.
07/28/2012
deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by VioletMoonstone
My dad called me this morning (he hasn't called in more than a week) and he asked me to loan him $200! He's never asked for that much before. He has the same payday as my boyfriend (today, Friday) so I asked him what the heck happened. He ...
I've learned that it's a bad idea. Just don't do it.
07/28/2012
Chelle Love Chelle Love
depends on the family member and the situation... but money is just materialistic, all after the bills of course...
08/05/2012
Errant Venture Errant Venture
I lend my family money all the time. I don't care what they spend it on, as long as they pay me back (which they do).
08/06/2012
Allstars316 Allstars316
I have to a friend in need. Has said they will pay me back. It has been over 2 years. Next time I will make sure I know I will get it back
08/07/2012
travelnurse travelnurse
You are not mean. I have am the main wage earner in my home and I work very hard for my money. I have just given money to my brother but there have been times when he had asked and I told him that since he was not working for months by choice that I wasn't gonna pay for his "party". If you have to borrow money to go on vacation, you shouldn't be going!!!!
08/07/2012
Do emu Do emu
Quote:
Originally posted by VioletMoonstone
My dad called me this morning (he hasn't called in more than a week) and he asked me to loan him $200! He's never asked for that much before. He has the same payday as my boyfriend (today, Friday) so I asked him what the heck happened. He ...
I guess I'm the lucky one because my family members never screwed me over when I lent them money. When I lent my dad my car he'd always fill up my tank for me.
08/07/2012
indiglo indiglo
My general rule of thumb is never lend someone an amount of money you can't afford to never see again - because you very well may never see it again.

I don't lend money to friends, but if I have extra, and a close family member were in need, I'd probably help them - depending on who it was, how much, etc. But I'd be far more likely to just gift the money, that way there's no hard feelings about being paid back, etc. And if I can't afford to gift the money, then generally I couldn't afford to lend it anyway.

Oh, and NO it's not mean to expect adults to act like adults!
08/07/2012
TheirPet TheirPet
I used to, if it was for something important, but my mother still owes me about 5k which I know I'll never see again.
08/07/2012
Leather & Lace Leather & Lace
I do, but only for my close family members such as my mom, sister, grandma, etc. The ones I'm sure I trust to pay me back and use the money for a good cause.
08/07/2012
bedorerc bedorerc
I do for a few people, people that I know will pay me back, and only when I would be ok if I never got paid back.
08/07/2012
mlmac mlmac
Friends I won't lend money to because I've been screwed over before. As far as my family, I would only lend money to my parents if they really needed it. They were always there for me when I needed something.
08/07/2012
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Total posts: 39
Unique posters: 38