Do you pay or recieve 'Child Support'?

Rod Ronald Rod Ronald
I know this is personal, and please forgive me, I do not want to offend or piss anyone off. However it seems like the more I get out and about the more people I run into that either pay child support or recieve it. I'm just wondering what the Ef community looked like.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I pay child support
4  (7%)
I recieve child support
7  (12%)
I neither pay or recieve
49  (82%)
Total votes: 60
Poll is closed
12/03/2012
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MrWishyWashy MrWishyWashy
Sadly, I pay child support and alimony.
12/03/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
I know this is personal, and please forgive me, I do not want to offend or piss anyone off. However it seems like the more I get out and about the more people I run into that either pay child support or recieve it. I'm just wondering what the Ef ... More
We are married, never divorced. No out of wedlock children. One child between the two of us. I always find it interesting, since boy, oh boy, do we ever pay "child support"!!! Our kid is married and a doctor, but still "studying" as a poorly paid resident, and thus we still pay "child support", only now we support her and her new hubby (also studying). Probably way more "support dollars" then most! (and no court ever ordered us to do it)!
12/03/2012
no longer here no longer here
We need a choice for pay and receive. Second marriage...Mr pays...Mrs receives.
12/03/2012
Sinfully Sinfully
Neither.
12/03/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by MrWishyWashy
Sadly, I pay child support and alimony.
We have heard this time and time again, and so don't understand it. No one says "Sadly" when they have to pay lots of money out for their child, when they are married, but once divorced, it is "sadly".

When married, people support their kids for as "long as it takes". After divorce, we hear "only three more years till they turn 18 and I can turn off the spigot".

How does divorcing a person alter any of the relationship with your own child?
12/03/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by no longer here
We need a choice for pay and receive. Second marriage...Mr pays...Mrs receives.
When no one is "divorced", there is zero choice. If you have a child, you better "support it", and very few people seem to fuss about that fact. Divorce seems to change that dynamic quite a bit.
12/03/2012
Ex-prude Ex-prude
And by "receive child support" I mean I get post-minority support from my dad for college.
12/03/2012
Moniqua Moniqua
Neither.
12/03/2012
Kat and Aaron(aaron) Kat and Aaron(aaron)
The Mrs. should be receiving.
12/04/2012
hanjonatan hanjonatan
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
We have heard this time and time again, and so don't understand it. No one says "Sadly" when they have to pay lots of money out for their child, when they are married, but once divorced, it is "sadly".

When married, ... More
yeah, i don't get it at all, and i'm very thankful my own father never had that attitude. he was paying child support for three kids at one point (two different mothers), and he never grumbled about it because... it's just what you do, y'know? we're his kids.
12/04/2012
Beck Beck
Needs to be an other option....I don't pay child support, but my husband does. He isn't suppose to be still paying and he shouldn't have had to pay in the first place as they each had custody of one child each. But in order to have custody of the son, he had to agree to paying for the daughter. As he wanted his son....he agreed. A judge should have never said that was okay. He shouldn't still be paying because his daughter turned 19 in July and is on her second year of college. Once the child turns 18 and graduates, you are done with child support unless your papers include college, his didn't. If your child is still in high school when they are 18, you still pay. She graduated a while ago, but the judge still hasn't signed the paper work to stop payments from coming out. He pays and gets a check every couple of weeks for the amount he paid in one week. The system is horribly flawed if it's taking a judge this long to sign the paper work. Hubby can't do anything about it. The Judge has to sign the papers to end everything. It's really ridiculous what they are doing to us. It may not seem like much, but that a little over $50 a week covers a lot of expenses with our two small children. We need that cash. Luckily, it's not going to the ex....it's going to child support and they see the balance is zero and send a check back to us.
12/04/2012
SexyChocolate SexyChocolate
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
I know this is personal, and please forgive me, I do not want to offend or piss anyone off. However it seems like the more I get out and about the more people I run into that either pay child support or recieve it. I'm just wondering what the Ef ... More
my baby daddy pays me
12/04/2012
Living Doll Living Doll
Neither.
12/04/2012
Trysexual Trysexual
Neither
12/04/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
We have heard this time and time again, and so don't understand it. No one says "Sadly" when they have to pay lots of money out for their child, when they are married, but once divorced, it is "sadly".

When married, ... More
I think a lot of times it becomes 'sad' because the other parent doesn't know whether or not that money is going to the needs of the child(ren). That's what can make it sad, in my opinion.

I have two children from a previous marriage, and I receive child support. When we first divorced, he wasn't employed so they figured out the pay based on minimum wage/40hrs per week. Now he's making over $10 an hour and over 40 hrs per week and the funds haven't changed. Whatever. It is what it is. The money I receive for them goes to anything they might need and that's all that matters.
12/04/2012
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
I think a lot of times it becomes 'sad' because the other parent doesn't know whether or not that money is going to the needs of the child(ren). That's what can make it sad, in my opinion.

I have two children from a previous ... More
I think it becomes sad when one parent uses the children as leverage and pawns in their twisted emotional games.
12/04/2012
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
I think a lot of times it becomes 'sad' because the other parent doesn't know whether or not that money is going to the needs of the child(ren). That's what can make it sad, in my opinion.

I have two children from a previous ... More
I think people often forget that whether or not the money that they paid for child support goes directly to paying for the child doesn't change the fact that the child's needs are meant. Just because the check isn't cashed and that cash wasn't spent on the child doesn't mean that the money didn't go for the child's care. As long as the child's needs are meant and they are being cared for....the money IS going for the child. Just not that money directly.
12/04/2012
Rod Ronald Rod Ronald
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
I think a lot of times it becomes 'sad' because the other parent doesn't know whether or not that money is going to the needs of the child(ren). That's what can make it sad, in my opinion.

I have two children from a previous ... More
Exactly. Well said. I pay more then I'm suppose to. Even though I don't get to see my child nearly as much as I wish. Sometimes it years. I gave them thousands of dollars on tax time, they never got it. The system held it. I called and called, nothing. Then a year later, she finnaly got it all in one lump sum. I went to see him and we went shopping. He asked me if he thought I could get him some new shoes, because he didn't have a pair that fit his feet. I was pissed. I asked when was the last time he had new cloths, he couldn't remember. He told me that the boyfriend bought a new huge tv and an xbox a week before, but he wasn't allowed to play it because it was in there bedroom. I said nothing and went ahead and bought him a ton of cloths and shoes. Sometimes the system sucks, and sometimes it sucks a lot!
12/04/2012
padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
I know this is personal, and please forgive me, I do not want to offend or piss anyone off. However it seems like the more I get out and about the more people I run into that either pay child support or recieve it. I'm just wondering what the Ef ... More
I receive child support for my teen daughter.
12/04/2012
Geogeo Geogeo
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
I know this is personal, and please forgive me, I do not want to offend or piss anyone off. However it seems like the more I get out and about the more people I run into that either pay child support or recieve it. I'm just wondering what the Ef ... More
Neither, I don't have kids
12/04/2012
Feisty Feisty
Neither.
12/04/2012
CaseyDeuce CaseyDeuce
My ex-husband SHOULD be paying me support for our 8 year old and our 4 year old, but the judicial system is a giant piece of poo. I've filed 3 times, and they continue to adjourn and dismiss because he can't seem to be served with the court papers. Yet he has no problem collecting unemployment every week since March 2011. I wish it were different, but SADLY, I'm financially on my own without any extra coming in.
12/04/2012
ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
I know this is personal, and please forgive me, I do not want to offend or piss anyone off. However it seems like the more I get out and about the more people I run into that either pay child support or recieve it. I'm just wondering what the Ef ... More
I don't get a dime because he doesn't get visitation, and I don't want him to have it just so he can leave my child in his cat fece infested stoner home unattended.
12/04/2012
nikki0668 nikki0668
I pay child support, but my ex and I are trying to work things out to get back together. I should have never left him to start with and get married to someone else.
12/04/2012
AwesomeAmanda AwesomeAmanda
I should receive child support but my daughters sperm donor does not pay it.
12/04/2012
koola1d88 koola1d88
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
I know this is personal, and please forgive me, I do not want to offend or piss anyone off. However it seems like the more I get out and about the more people I run into that either pay child support or recieve it. I'm just wondering what the Ef ... More
I don't have any drama like that cause I've never been pregnant and i'm not planning to anytime soon
12/04/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
I avoided this thread for a while because this is a sensitive issue topic for me. My husband used to pay child support, doesn't anymore.

When he went to court, they had a month of overtime work prior. They based his child support on this even though he stated that his checks would be nowhere near that for probably years. A few weeks later, when work dropped off, we netted about $100-$200 a week out of his paycheck after child support. We had a car repossessed, had to move in with my mother in a very small condo, couldn't pay any of our bills, and his credit was ruined. Why was his credit ruined? Because when his check wasn't enough to pay the full support amount he got in arrears which hits your credit. Not enough to have the repo on there, but that's there too.

He went back to court no less than THREE times trying to get it reduced based on his actual pay scale. Judge turned it down every time. They had him fill out forms on our income versus expenses which clearly showed he could not even afford to live. Judge literally said "I don't care."

What good does it do a child to have their father living on the street? Had he had visitation, there would have been no where for the child to go and visit. Which, of course, would have meant his visitation rights would have been taken away. If it weren't for my family, he literally would have had no job (no car to get to work - couldn't afford it - and worked too far away for a bus), no place to live, and likely very little food to eat.

After living like that for two years, I RESENT the child support system. I also saw it do the same thing to my dad. While my dad was an ass and didn't want to pay on principle, I also know he could hardly afford the one bedroom apartment he had after he paid (which was usually late - partly because he was an ass and partly because he didn't always have the funds).

I get that both parents need to fund things for the child, but no parent in their right mind would spend so much on their child that they would have nowhere to live, no way to get around, and no food to eat. Why should child support amounts be such that it would cause this for a person??

My husband and I have a child together now. If ever we divorced, rest assured I would never in my life go through the judicial system for support. If he wanted to still be around for my son, then we could split bills or something. I wouldn't want my son to have to visit his dad in squalor because he couldn't afford to live after paying us. If he wanted to disappear, so be it. I'd rather tough it out on my own that get near that fucked up system.
12/04/2012
Martiniman Martiniman
Nope
12/04/2012
no longer here no longer here
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
When no one is "divorced", there is zero choice. If you have a child, you better "support it", and very few people seem to fuss about that fact. Divorce seems to change that dynamic quite a bit.
Ummm...we stated we "need a choice" as in there was not a "selection" for pay and receive in the poll.

We did not "fuss" we just stated that there isn't a choice.
12/04/2012
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Total posts: 45
Unique posters: 38