just wondering peoples feelings on this subject
Do you think it is okay to have your ex as a Facebook friend?
04/02/2013
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Not if you want to move on. It would be tempting to constantly check on the ex's profile. I figure it would either hurt or trigger jealously. It wouldn't be very healthy.
Maybe later on, you could become friends again. If the two are mature enough, that is.
Just my opinion.
Maybe later on, you could become friends again. If the two are mature enough, that is.
Just my opinion.
04/02/2013
I think it depends on the person. I have two exes I would never be friends with on Facebook and one who is not only my friend on Facebook, but also one of my closest friends. Our relationship ended on good terms (we decided we were too alike to be partners, but great as friends) and there's no potential that we would ever date each other again. So, in some circumstances, I think it can work. In others, it's just a bad idea.
04/02/2013
I think this is more of an instance by instance question. I have some exs (mainly those from more recent years) that I wouldn't dream of adding. My middleschool sweatheart on the other hand has been my ff since I got a fb. My general rule of thumb, if I wouldn't hang out with them in person I won't add them on fb.
Wether or not I associate with people in everyday life (not online) depends on how my partner and I both feel about the particular person. If its someone either one of us thinks may attempt to cross boundries I normally stay away, this seems to follow through to fb as well.
If its someone who will respect your current relationship ( or if your single they respect the fact that you aren't with them) then I think its fairly harmless.
Unless of course its so one can spy on the ex in question because your not truly over a break up. That's a whole new can of unhealthy worms. exs are exs for a reason. Holding on won't help anybody get on with life.
Wether or not I associate with people in everyday life (not online) depends on how my partner and I both feel about the particular person. If its someone either one of us thinks may attempt to cross boundries I normally stay away, this seems to follow through to fb as well.
If its someone who will respect your current relationship ( or if your single they respect the fact that you aren't with them) then I think its fairly harmless.
Unless of course its so one can spy on the ex in question because your not truly over a break up. That's a whole new can of unhealthy worms. exs are exs for a reason. Holding on won't help anybody get on with life.
04/02/2013
I voted yes, but I suppose there are times when it might not be ok. But in general, I don't see a problem with being friends with an ex. In fact, I'm still quite close with an ex. We chat often.
If you think it's causing trouble in your new relationship, then it could be that you're still hung up on the ex, or it could be an issue of lack of trust or other issues with your new relationship. Very rarely is being friends with an ex the reason that a new relationship breaks up, in my opinion. If someone else can get between you two, then there were mostly likely issues to begin with.
Now, if the ex is bugging you all the time, or messaging inappropriate things or doing things you don't like, then un-friend them, obviously. But, a healthy friendship with good boundaries and a mutual respect, I don't see a problem with that. When you aren't with someone anymore, I don't see the need for them to vanish. So, it didn't work out. There could still be friendship potential there.
If you think it's causing trouble in your new relationship, then it could be that you're still hung up on the ex, or it could be an issue of lack of trust or other issues with your new relationship. Very rarely is being friends with an ex the reason that a new relationship breaks up, in my opinion. If someone else can get between you two, then there were mostly likely issues to begin with.
Now, if the ex is bugging you all the time, or messaging inappropriate things or doing things you don't like, then un-friend them, obviously. But, a healthy friendship with good boundaries and a mutual respect, I don't see a problem with that. When you aren't with someone anymore, I don't see the need for them to vanish. So, it didn't work out. There could still be friendship potential there.
04/02/2013
I think it is totally fine, because then you can talk to them eventually (once you are over eachother), I learn a lot from my ex's and stuff and it's fun to catch up. Although if they are annoying you you can like block them/ put them on your not talk to list or what not, but that causes less drama if you shared a bunch of friends.
04/02/2013
I wouldn't mind either way -- I'm not that attached to fb. I wouldn't defriend for spite, but if I really am never going to talk to that person again, why not?
04/02/2013
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I don't think that there's a general "this is okay or this isn't okay for everyone" on facebook. I think that it absolutely depends on the people, the dynamic, the terms upon which you are with your ex and possibly even other factors.
Originally posted by
BrittaniMaree
just wondering peoples feelings on this subject
04/02/2013
My SO has his exes and fb friends. I have one of my two exes as fb friends. I personally think it depends on the situation. I'm personally someone who can't handle having exes as facebook friends. For a long time at least. I honestly shouldn't have remained fb friends with the ex I'm currently fb friends with. I'm fine with it now, but it made the healing process a lot slower in the beginning. My SO appears to be alright with being fb friends with his exes, so more power to him.
04/02/2013
It can be for some people, but it really depends on the people and the relationships.
04/02/2013
It depends. I have one...well two if you count HS. None of us want to re-kindle and are still friends.
04/02/2013
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It depends on the person and how the relationship ended. Messy? Buhbye. Clean break, still friends? Sure, you can stay.
Originally posted by
BrittaniMaree
just wondering peoples feelings on this subject
04/02/2013
I'm FB friends with two of my three serious exes and my wife's totally cool with it. As long as the past is the past and the friendship is still there, why not?
04/02/2013
It depends on how the relationship was with that person. If it ended in really bad terms, or good terms.
I'm still friends on FB and in RL with one of my exs. Even though we didn't last long as a couple, we were good to each other. And we just stay as friends.
I'm still friends on FB and in RL with one of my exs. Even though we didn't last long as a couple, we were good to each other. And we just stay as friends.
04/02/2013
It depends on the situation. I would not--because I prefer not to have them in my life....
04/02/2013
why would I do that?
04/02/2013
I am currently but we also broke up a long time ago and have both completely moved on.
04/02/2013
No.. Whenever I'd break up with someone, I'd quickly delete them. I just find it hard to have them on my friends list. None of my break ups were good. :X
04/02/2013
Really depends on who,how long we were together and how serious we got. I want to say there have only been 2 exes that I have kept contact with for years after being together.
04/02/2013
Maybe, if there's been enough time or you're sure neither of you might still have any feelings left. If it's a recent break up I would delete them, just to make it easier to move on.
I never even added any of my past boyfriends to my facebook in the first place, so I've avoided that conundrum
I never even added any of my past boyfriends to my facebook in the first place, so I've avoided that conundrum
04/02/2013
I have one of mine on my FB. There are completely no feelings there I have moved on and finally am happy about it. We were good friends before we even started going out anyways so it makes it easier.
04/02/2013
Depends a lot on how the breakup goes. If it was a clean breakup or relatively polite, that's fine. If was because they cheated on you...
04/02/2013
I am friends with some of my ex's, but we were not that close and it was over 20 years ago when we were dating. Plus my wife knows, my FB account is not hidden in any way.
04/02/2013
I'm facebook friends with all my exes and no one has a problem with it. We're on good terms, but won't be hanging out again. My current partner knows that and is totally okay with it.
04/02/2013
It depends on the person and their situation. If they are mature enough to move on, and any current partner doesn't mind, why not? Otherwise probably best no to.
04/03/2013
Quote:
I am good friends with my exes and would be upset if a current partner told me I couldn't be.
Originally posted by
BrittaniMaree
just wondering peoples feelings on this subject
04/03/2013
I think yes as long as it's not hurting your current relationship or pursuit of one.
04/03/2013
One of my ex's is a good friend and is friends with my current partner and most of my social group, there's no problem! I'm not interested in being with him again anyways. I don't have any issue with my partner being friends with his ex's either!
04/03/2013
sometimes
04/03/2013
That's a question with an 'it depends' answer.
04/03/2013
Total posts: 49
Unique posters: 49
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