Doing things that scare you

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Doing things that scare you

Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
So as many of you know, I'm recently (ok so maybe not so recent anymore, but still getting over it) single. And since being single again, or rather the fear of never finding someone with that connection again, is scaring the hell out of me, I'm working on conquering smaller fears. One or two a week. Things I didn't think I could do, or could have the nerve to do. I'm hoping that once I can overcome a lot of little things, the big thing might not be so scary anymore.

So today's scary thing was, after 2 years on EF as a pinup girl image, putting my actual face as my avatar. Not only does this play on all of my self-consciousness, but it means there's one less border between my EF life and my 'real' life.

So what are some things that you all have done that scared you to do? Big or little. Was it worth it? Did it get you where you wanted it to?
07/05/2011
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Envy Envy
I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I, too, am going through it now. Really sucks.

Right now I, too, am working on myself. Learning how to drive finally. And yes, it's scary as hell for me, but I am trying. I have my permit, now I just need to practice.

Best of luck to us both conquering these fears, yeah?
07/05/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I, too, am going through it now. Really sucks.

Right now I, too, am working on myself. Learning how to drive finally. And yes, it's scary as hell for me, but I am trying. I have my permit, now I ...
You're going to be fine! Driving scared me too at first, especially since I totaled my first car weeks after starting to drive. And living in NJ, our highways are a disaster - ALL the time. We're even known for it. Practice definitely makes a big difference in that one.

What doesn't kill us can only make us stronger, right?
07/05/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
So as many of you know, I'm recently (ok so maybe not so recent anymore, but still getting over it) single. And since being single again, or rather the fear of never finding someone with that connection again, is scaring the hell out of me, ...
First of all, congratulations on trying to conquer your fears!

So far, I've to done a whole lot to conquer my own. My current major fears are acrophobia and clowns/dolls. I can imagine conquering my acrophobia someday, but errr... I'm not terribly eager to attempt to conquer my fear of dolls/clowns. *shudder*
07/05/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
But I did conquer one thing. I finally told my husband and my parents that I'm queer. It's pretty freeing, except my husband doesn't understand how I can be queer and still want to be with him. So, in that respect, it's been less freeing. He also doesn't understand why coming out was such a big deal if I'm not looking to leave the marriage.

It's a long road ahead.
07/05/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
I think that we are all faced with conquering new fears (at least to some extent anyway) all the time. We may not realise that we are afraid at the time. I know that now that my children are older and venturing out on the own a little I am terrified that they are going to make a mistake and get hurt. I just try to breathe and know that some things are out of my hands and I have to just trust that everything will be ok. It is brave of ya'll to face the things that scare you and it will make you stronger. Good luck on everything, it will be okay and Tori I love the pic!
07/05/2011
Ansley Ansley
I have been terrified of developing any sort of public persona in the past. I have some pretty heavy skeletons in my closet and I always feared my family's reactions.

Well, that all changed about two weeks ago when my mother belittled my husband for the VERY last time. I realized I had been protecting people who were not interested in knowing who I am as a person, not interested in respecting my boundaries. They seem to refuse to accept I am an adult with a life and I will not tolerate being told what to do and when to do it any longer. I might be the baby of the family, but I am not a child.

I will turn 30 next month. (I think I emailed Darling Jen my birthday, not sure. Anywayyy.) I'm done and I'm not going to be that scared little girl sitting in the corner waiting for mommy to scold her because she has a sex life and opinions and advice on sexual relationships. I have a ton of experience and I can do a lot of good in this world but I held back because of their conservative views.

Well, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke right? It's my life and I live, eat breathe sex and I will make a career of it. I have selected a pen name and created a blog on livejournal and as soon as I figure out what the general theme of the blog will initially be, it's going live. When readership is consistent, I will launch an independent site. I'm tired of waiting and until I made the decision to use part of my real name, I was scared of going for it. Using part of my name means I have to own what I say and put out to the world and I won't create anything I am not proud of or equally willing to stand by.

I am also writing a novel and shopping publishers! Wish me luck!
07/05/2011
Antipova Antipova
Great picture, Tori!

And good job facing your fears and/or yourself, everyone who's posted so far.

Myself, this summer (gosh, it is really hard to say what I want to say while still keeping my from spilling my personal life into the public realm!!)

When the doctor tells you you've got tuberculosis, he sends you to Italy to let your lungs recover. When you're struggling with your own personality, though (for me it's a fits-and-starts battle with atypical/low self confidence, and overresponsibility), I'm finding that the best way to deal with it is by heading to metaphorical Scotland. It's not easy, by a long shot, but I'm working with my family this summer to try to build myself up from the roots. I found a very good therapist, too, and I feel like I'm making a lot of progress. It can be extremely hard, some days, but that's how you take stokes forward instead of just treading water. At least, I hope so.

It's especially sad that I am a couple of hours from a city with my friends in it, so I'm only able to see people (apart from my family) that I care about one weekend a month or so.
07/05/2011
Jaimes Jaimes
What a fabulously supportive and moving thread!

I just got a ball python as a study buddy and future classroom pet for my science teacher-to-be. My husband is as giddy as a six year-old with a puppy.

I am terrified of snakes, but Kepler is growing on me. I managed to pet his tail.
07/05/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Wow, these are amazing things that you're all doing, and you're all amazing for working on things you're scared of.

I don't really have anything to add right now. Not saying that I'm perfect by any means, but that any of the things I had deep rooted fears of, I've worked on in the past and I'm at a good level with them.

You've all got my unending support and an ear to talk to if you need/want it
07/05/2011
Dusk Dusk
I think one of the scariest things for me was leaving home to go to college a thousand miles away. It was also one of the best things I've ever done, and now I'm thrilled to be going to grad school in yet another state.

I also went skydiving twice to try and get over my fear of heights. That was fantastic.
07/05/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
You're a beautiful woman, Tori.

I'm currently dealing with the fears of love and of allowing anyone to have my heart. Master is the first person I've felt anything this deeply and comfortably with, and I'm scared of messing it up. It might be the big 'L' word, I don't know yet. It's too soon to know. So I'm taking things slow and steady.
07/05/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
So as many of you know, I'm recently (ok so maybe not so recent anymore, but still getting over it) single. And since being single again, or rather the fear of never finding someone with that connection again, is scaring the hell out of me, ...
Tori, honey. Its so good to see you again. HUGs and love for you.

You are BEAUTIFUL!!!! I mean that. Gorgeous.

Things I've done that I'm scared of; lots; going away to college (although that was a long time ago) to a college where I knew no one and was terrified.

Killing bugs, My Man has taught me to do this, I am terrified of insects. (Lady Beetles and Fireflies aside.) I used to shut them up in rooms and wait until either my father got home (when I was young) or when My Man returned home to find and kill the bug. One day, there was a spider on the ceiling, and he had me stand on his back, with a shoe in my hand and kill it. I was TRAUMATIZED while doing it, and energized and happy after the horrible, alien beast was slayed.

Some days, getting out of the house is scary for me. Sometimes I do it anyway, like today, other days I still give in to the fear and.....don't.

Baby steps.

There's more, but I can't get to them all now. I'm not afraid of a LOT of things most "normal people" are. Most people think I'm a tough bitch. But, quietly, am terrified of some things in every day living. I'm not even going to get into going through my pregnancies, going into labor and/or facing C Sections, not to mention bringing those little red, sqawling bundles home and caring for them....
07/05/2011
Antipova Antipova
I've been trying to make phone calls more often. I used to avoid the phone so much that if I would usually just drive 40 minutes to and from town to see if some part was in stock, rather than just calling to see. But I've started making lists with blanks, that I need to fill before I can hang up. Or if I need to compare several parts, I'll make a matrix of price, type, feature... and I'll keep asking questions until the chart is full.

It's so hard... even though most people wouldn't think anything of it. I've gotten much better in the last six months, though.
07/05/2011
Bunnycups Bunnycups
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
I've been trying to make phone calls more often. I used to avoid the phone so much that if I would usually just drive 40 minutes to and from town to see if some part was in stock, rather than just calling to see. But I've started making lists ...
Oh my gosh I have a fear of the phone too! I wasn't even going to mention it on here because it is embarrassing. Making lists to cover over the phone is a good idea. I'll try that.


Going to college was really scary for me. I felt very accomplished when I finally graduated because it was a struggle. I used to have anxiety in crowds and I've gotten over that. I don't really have any fears to work on now, except for the phone, haha.
07/05/2011
Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Bunnycups
Oh my gosh I have a fear of the phone too! I wasn't even going to mention it on here because it is embarrassing. Making lists to cover over the phone is a good idea. I'll try that.


Going to college was really scary for me. I felt ...
Bunnycups, have you ever heard this song?

I'd be lying if I didn't shrug and explain myself with that line in the second verse... more times than I can count.
07/05/2011
Taylor Taylor
I love this thread! It's awesome to see what courageous people we have here. and Tori your picture is beautiful!

My big fears I'm constantly working is food and setting boundaries with people regarding food. I'm recovering from an eating disorder and while I am not 'sick' anymore there are still a lot of foods that scare the crap out of me and it does interfere with my life quite a bit. I think I'm getting better at asking for what I need but I'm still scared people will think I'm crazy when I get so stressed out over food.
07/05/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
bumping this fantastic thread
07/05/2011
Ghost Ghost
I got married. It still scares me.
07/06/2011
Bunnycups Bunnycups
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Bunnycups, have you ever heard this song?

I'd be lying if I didn't shrug and explain myself with that line in the second verse... more times than I can count.
Thanks for introducing me to that song. I hadn't heard it before. That line is sooo fitting.
07/06/2011
SamsDelight SamsDelight
I wanted to say I love this thread. We every day try to over come something in one way or another and it is wonderful to finally make it. I am still trying to work on my views of marriage and my fear of being cheated on. Grew up with it all around and still at 30 it is my biggest fear in my own marriage. I am working hard at letting it go and it really has gotten so much better. Two years ago if he went out with friends I would think the worst. Now he goes for over nights with work and I truly know it is only work.
07/11/2011
Total posts: 21
Unique posters: 15