Engagement & Wedding Tips

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Engagement & Wedding Tips

darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
Yesterday my boyfriend proposed to me. Some friends who got married recently say the first thing we need to do is pick a date. I'm honestly not even sure what I should be doing now, though I am thinking about picking a day year and a half away or so, so that I have enough time to figure things out. Does anyone have any tips to help this all go over smoothly?
08/07/2011
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LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
Congratulations!!

A year and a half sounds good to me. However IMO, no one needs to rush into planning the wedding right after they get engaged. Really, you can't set an official date first. First figure out when you'd like to have the wedding and make a "wish list" of dates. Then figure out where you want the wedding and reception, then call them, make sure they have openings on those days, and book it. Then you have a date set.

Also, I recommend registering on theknot.com. They have a lot of tools to help you plan and keep everything on track.
08/07/2011
Ansley Ansley
Go here: The Knot: Planning Tools

They have all of the advice you will ever need. It's a great site.

Congratulations!!!
08/07/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
congrats!
08/07/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Congrats. I can't help with the planning. I got married in a much simpler time. The bride and a few friends and maybe family called a few places with one or two dates in mind and planned a wedding in a very short time. I planned my wedding in less than 6 weeks. I have heard it's very different now.

Good luck, try to keep it simple. You'll be thankful later.
08/07/2011
Dusk Dusk
Congrats! I would try and get a rough idea of what season you want to hold it in first before you worry about a date.
08/07/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Congratulations, darthkitt3n!

Everyone is going to ask dates, where, registration, how many in the party, etc. Until you figure it out just say, "We haven't gotten that far yet; we're taking our time." Most people do respect that.

A year-and-a-half is a very good time frame to work with. My best friend's son and his fiancee have been planning theirs for a year-and-a-half as well (date is this New Year's Eve). The time gets a lot of the angst out of the way, too (usually from the parents).
08/07/2011
Lucky21 Lucky21
Congrats! I agree with Dusk. Don't plan a date unless there is some overwhelming reason to... set a general time line and the find your venue(s). You never know what is going to come up in your planning.
08/07/2011
GeekWife GeekWife
Congrats! I second/third/fourth TheKnot.com. There was another site very similar that I also used when I got married about 5 years ago, but for the life of me I can't remember it now. I also had a bridal planner book I bought from Barnes & Noble. It had timelines, envelopes to store brochures, and a list of websites in the back. Those really helped me plan better than the site did (although both really do the same thing, I'm more of a hard-copy sort of gal.) As for amount of time, it's totally based on you and your new fiance. I did mine in 15 months, but I helped my best friend do hers in 4. I also recommend watching bridal shows on occasion (as much as you can stomach), because you'll get an idea of things you do and don't like and you can make notes of them. And if your area has a bridal expo, be sure to go to it at least once... then you can see all your city has to offer in the way of bakeries, venues, photographers, florists... and you get a ton of freebies Best of luck to you both in your planning and happy engagement!
08/07/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Congratulations! I didn't use theknot.com, but I have friends who did. I know invitations are a while away yet, but I used invitationsbydawn.com and I was really happy with what I got.

I can't tell you exactly what to do, but a year and a half is a good time frame. What I did was first decide what kind of wedding I wanted (size, etc) and then figure out about how much that was going to cost and how long it was going to take us to save for it to give us enough time. I had initially wanted a spring wedding, but we ended up getting married this past January, which was about 11 months after I got the ring.

The wedding websites I was looking at recommended at least a year for planning so that you don't end up overwhelmed, but it's all about how comfortable you are with everything. Bridal expos are a good idea too.

Congratulations again, and if you get stuck on planning, I'm definitely here if you want to ask questions
08/08/2011
darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
Thanks for all of the info . I was a little overwhelmed with this at first, because people were just finding out and were already demanding a date from me and stuff.
08/12/2011
Tuesday Tuesday
Congratulations!

You don't have to pick a date yet if you don't want to. My niece is engaged and hasn't set a date. They want to wait until she's graduated from college.

My second piece of advice is to not bend to pressure from anyone to have your wedding be anything other than exactly what you want.

I just wanted to go to the justice of the peace, then have a small dinner with family. My mother pressured me to do something more elaborate, certain I would regret my original plan. So we were married in a restaurant with more guests than I had wanted. Afterwards my mom still commented "Wasn't much of a wedding." But I know I wouldn't have regretted it if I had married in the courthouse like we wanted to in the first place.

Do what YOU want.
08/12/2011
Peggi Peggi
Congrats

I agree if you want step-by-step directions on what to do, the aforementioned website IS your best bet, but after having planned my first wedding, planning the second for "one day", and having put together weddings for three of my friends, I have to say, sometimes using those sites can make it more complicated. Yes, the date is important, but not so much as other things to consider. Depending on the type of wedding you want, some places are booking 1-3 years out, and the theme you are looking for will also help you plan the location, thus the date (because you have to go by what the vendor has available). Feel free to message me or something for some back and forth on it, I also know how to work around budget or do expensive planning, depending on the finances, know the best photographers to use whether you need a company, or someone just in the business who can do more discounted professional work.

You have lots of options for everything and using a website limits those options usually, going with a professional wedding planner is easiest and less stressful!
09/01/2011
darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
Congrats

I agree if you want step-by-step directions on what to do, the aforementioned website IS your best bet, but after having planned my first wedding, planning the second for "one day", and having put together weddings for ...
I've looked through that site and found it to be a little overwhelming. Some of those weddings look way more elaborate than I want. I just got a book today called "Bridal Bargains" which is pretty helpful. I don't like paying full price for anything and a lot of wedding stuff seems way overpriced. So far this book has given some good ideas for saving money without actually going cheap on anything.
09/01/2011
KrazyKandy KrazyKandy
I am just going to go to the courthouse and do it simple, I rather have a looooong honeymoon instead of a expensive wedding. I'm going on a 3 year road trip so yay
09/01/2011
Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by darthkitt3n
I've looked through that site and found it to be a little overwhelming. Some of those weddings look way more elaborate than I want. I just got a book today called "Bridal Bargains" which is pretty helpful. I don't like paying full ...
With my first wedding I looked at the site, and I felt overwhelmed as well, even having known how to go about it already! It can be simple for some people and make it more stressful for others.

I agree, bargains are the best way to go, especially if you haven't won the lottery so you can't afford an over-the-top wedding. Besides, I think simple weddings are super nice!

Good luck with all of your planning, I am sure it will be absolutly beautiful
09/21/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by darthkitt3n
I've looked through that site and found it to be a little overwhelming. Some of those weddings look way more elaborate than I want. I just got a book today called "Bridal Bargains" which is pretty helpful. I don't like paying full ...
Now, that sounds good!

I'm a bit astounded at the year and a half planning, the cost, the complications I have been hearing about.

No one regrets simplicity. Well, most people don't.

I have two daughters who are close to marriage age, but neither are looking to get married any time soon. Both have partners, one is living with her man and the other is still in college (well Grad School.) I beginning to think we'll just give them some cash to go to Vegas and have a party for a few friends when they get back. I hate complicated planning of anything. Like I said, I planned my own wedding in about 6 weeks, bought a bride's maid dress (much less expensive) just had a circlet of flowers with a small veil in back (yeah, like anyone was gonna believe a veiled face on me. LOL!) And we did it before the internet. But, I prefer simple things overall most of the time.

What Tuesday said, do what YOU want to do. But, remember it's only ONE day. You have the rest of your life to be married, so don't go overboard on a single day that will be over before you know it.

Congrats again.
09/21/2011
T&A1987 T&A1987
here's a good site for info.

link

a good article

link

and my opinion: marriage is unnecessary. at best it's a fancy contract signing ceremony, at worst it's a public declaration of ownership.
11/26/2011
Pink Jewel Pink Jewel
Congrats
11/27/2011
jedent jedent
congrats! i'm a wedding photographer! if you have any specific questions i'd be happy to answer them.
11/27/2011
Love Perpetua Love Perpetua
Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you! I know absolutely nothing about wedding planning, but take your time and enjoy the engagement
11/27/2011
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Now, that sounds good!

I'm a bit astounded at the year and a half planning, the cost, the complications I have been hearing about.

No one regrets simplicity. Well, most people don't.

I have two daughters who are close ...
I agree!! So much money is spent on the wedding instead of helping to set up your home and future together! Ours was so simple and very meaningful, it was us!!
12/04/2011
Total posts: 22
Unique posters: 18