what are the ethics of dangerous sex play?

Contributor: T&A1987 T&A1987
this is something i've been thinking about ever since the whole 50 shades of grey thing took off. Since then it seems that the local classifieds are filled with people "new to BDSM" but interested in being a sub. some have fifty shades hashtags, demonstrating the connections between the two, at least in some cases.

Here's the question, what makes sexual play unethical? If two people engage in potentially dangerous acts, is it okay if both people are willing? What if one person is willing, but has no idea what he/she is getting into? Does the other then bare some responsibility? What if it's not BDSM, but a more dangerous activity? Does mutual desire, even mutual arousal at said activity allow for lack of indemnity, or is there a point where something is too dangerous to for sex play, even if both people are wiling and understand the risks?

What say you?
06/30/2012
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Contributor: Geogeo Geogeo
I think if both are willing and understand the risks fully and don't just do it for the sake of trying it out without fully understanding the risks, then it's fine.

Weird about the classified ads though!
06/30/2012
Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by T&A1987
this is something i've been thinking about ever since the whole 50 shades of grey thing took off. Since then it seems that the local classifieds are filled with people "new to BDSM" but interested in being a sub. some have fifty shades ... more
There was a disturbing case in Germany several years ago, where a man consented to be eaten by another man: Victim of cannibal agreed to be eaten (The Guardian UK)

In such an extreme case, where death was the outcome, it's easy to say "that is unethical," but where the outcome is a bruised posterior, or bruised ego, it's harder to draw the line. In sexual areas where pushing the boundaries is the norm, trial and error is par for the course — that's why trust and empathy are so important. Barring a situation where someone knowingly takes advantage, I think both parties bear equal responsibility.
06/30/2012
Contributor: solitudinarian solitudinarian
I believe that consent has to be informed and that both parties should fully understand the risks. Petite Valentine makes an important distinction between someone knowingly taking advantage and someone being ignorant to the fact that they are.

It's tough to draw the line and say "this is too dangerous to be consented to" because people's perception of what is dangerous differs. On one hand I am all for freedom to do as you wish to your own body, and to have others do to you as you wish, but I'd don't think people should be eating other people as in the case above, even if it was apparently consented to. It's tough.

Those classified ads sound like a bad idea. As horrible as it is, indicating that you are new is kind of an invitation to predators. Not saying this is always the case, but it happens.
06/30/2012
Contributor: Noelle Noelle
Quote:
Originally posted by T&A1987
this is something i've been thinking about ever since the whole 50 shades of grey thing took off. Since then it seems that the local classifieds are filled with people "new to BDSM" but interested in being a sub. some have fifty shades ... more
I think you should know who you are going to engage in these acts with and can trust that person/people. I think you are taking a real risk by not knowing your partner. That's where it can go bad.
06/30/2012
Contributor: LoveYouLikeThat LoveYouLikeThat
I think this needs to be done in a trustful, monogomous relationship. Not just some random hookup out of a classified add. I couldnt just go all crazy sex w/ someone off craigslist or another classified ad.
06/30/2012
Contributor: LoveYouLikeThat LoveYouLikeThat
Also, I'd be afraid of being naked, chained to a bed and being left there..
07/01/2012