Facebook,Exes and Their Friends

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Facebook,Exes and Their Friends

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Contributor: *Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
How would you handle this, I have my "ex husband" blocked from my Facebook since I had to cancel my other one and make a new one. I had him blocked over on that account as well, he went searching to find my new one so I blocked him there as well. I haven't had much contact with him since I left him almost a year and a half ago. I have only talked to him TWICE since leaving an that was to tell him to stop calling and harassing my parents while I was out of the state working. The other time was to get an address for him an he gave me one that doesn't even belong to him. I have been trying to get the funds as well as an address to have him served with papers.

Any who I use to be really close to one of his female friends but stopped all contact with her after leaving him, I deleted her from my Facebook and didn't give her my new number when I changed it so he couldn't get a hold of it. Well I got a friends request on Facebook from his best female friend, I would love to talk to her BUT the only thing I am worried about is her trying to gather information to give him. What would you do in this situation?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Message her and ask why she is contacting me?
9
Ignore the friend request?
9
Block her?
2
None of the above here is what I would do.....
1
Total votes: 21 (19 voters)
Poll is closed
10/13/2012
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Contributor: sweetiejo sweetiejo
Before adding her I would ask but take what she says with a grain of salt you can set your facebook if you choose to add her to block certain information to her.
10/13/2012
Contributor: *Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
Quote:
Originally posted by sweetiejo
Before adding her I would ask but take what she says with a grain of salt you can set your facebook if you choose to add her to block certain information to her.
I know I can set what she can/can't see but I am even leery about that, my whole Facebook is pretty private!!! I don't add people I don't know unless we have talked a lot on here or other sites first. I ended up making a Facebook just for Eden so I can add people to that one who can get a small glimpse into my life but not the whole thing. Either way I am up in the air about this, me and the girl were really close the whole time I was with my ex and she was very supportive in the beginning when I left him but that quickly changed when I removed her from my Facebook, I was told by others that so much was talked about on my ex's Facebook.
10/13/2012
Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
he's harassing you? FB stalking, calling your parents...and this chic is HIS best female friend....

if your goal is to keep/get him Out of your life, forget here. you have to put yourself first. so unless there is some reason that having her in your life is more important than not being harassed. and i'm not saying she's necessarily a covert spy, but she is in his life.

at most i would message her and explain that you need to move on and that it's nothing personal, yada yada.

if you did want to be friends with her that badly, don't set urself up to not have privacy on FB. just do regular email with her instead and explain that FB is just Eden stuff or whatever would make sense.
10/13/2012
Contributor: *Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
Quote:
Originally posted by VanillaFreeSex
he's harassing you? FB stalking, calling your parents...and this chic is HIS best female friend....

if your goal is to keep/get him Out of your life, forget here. you have to put yourself first. so unless there is some reason that having ... more
It isn't a big deal on if she is in my life or not I am just trying to figure out after over a year why she is trying to come back in my life. I mean if she can give me an EXACT address to him then I am game for it but if not I want nothing to do with it. This whole thing is a disaster within itself. I left him because he was cheating and abusive and I would prefer to have NO type of contact with him or anyone he's associated with. Its just one of those curiosity things on why now?!
10/13/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Don't bother - the whole thing reeks of a can of drama-worms waiting to happen. Loyalty to the friend is a hundred times stronger than loyalty to the friend's sig other, no matter how close you became.

Just don't if you value your sanity.
10/13/2012
Contributor: subwayrailings subwayrailings
if you cant trust her not to be getting information for your ex, why bother talking to her.. why would she voluntarily want to be in the middle of such a situation
10/14/2012
Contributor: Supervixen Supervixen
Ignore it. Yeah, of course you're curious as to why now, after all this time. But does it matter? What matters is that you not give him any way to worm his way back into your life. Don't give him an opening.
10/14/2012
Contributor: Falsepast Falsepast
Whenever someone gives me trouble on sites I just block
10/14/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by *Camoprincess*
How would you handle this, I have my "ex husband" blocked from my Facebook since I had to cancel my other one and make a new one. I had him blocked over on that account as well, he went searching to find my new one so I blocked him there as ... more
If it were me, what I'd do is if the guy is really harassing you, or was and was causing problems enough to block him and avoid him to such extremes, is not accept her request because it's too likely she's going to give your info to him. Too. Too. Too likely. But if you're at a place where you're okay with her doing this (betrayal?) and you'd be okay having him on your case again, then I'd say risk it if you really want to. However, it kind of would depend on *why* you left him and all. It kind of sounds like he's... very intense about finding you since he's constantly trying to get ahold of you via internet or phone and you've gone to such lengths to avoid him, so I'd say if something really bad happened while married to him, don't risk it for anybody. Keep your distance and peace or you'd be in the situation of deleting and recreating all over again. That is if something bad happened such as abuse or something. Otherwise, I guess his harassment would still be a big annoyance, and even worse than that if you're in a newer relationship because the EX forcing himself into your life (if the female friend was to give him your info) would probably put a real strain on anything new.

Just my thoughts on what I'd do. Again, it would depend on why and what caused me to leave. In my opinion, EX's are always better off avoided. Always. But I understand how hard an EX husband would be to cut off all contact with forever.

Best of luck and I hope your decision brings nothing but good things.
10/14/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by *Camoprincess*
It isn't a big deal on if she is in my life or not I am just trying to figure out after over a year why she is trying to come back in my life. I mean if she can give me an EXACT address to him then I am game for it but if not I want nothing to do ... more
Can the courts not *find* him/his address? If not, something's wrong.
10/14/2012
Contributor: Allstars316 Allstars316
I would ignore it and move on
10/14/2012
Contributor: *Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
Can the courts not *find* him/his address? If not, something's wrong.
The courts won't find the address especially if I am trying to go through legal aid to be able to get a lower cost and payment plan for the divorce. I have to have all that information before I can file for legal aid. I left because he was mentally and verbally abusive to me and physically abusive towards me dog which meant is wasn't going to be long before he started physically abusing me. He was also cheating on me as much as he would try to deny it my dad found some other woman's kid's pacifier in my dad's truck. We didn't have a vehicle of our own so he would use my dad's truck to go to "work." My dad went to get something out of the truck an found the pacifier. He was also busted on dating sites looking for a good time and had nude pics of his penis posted on these sites. I had also at one point had a lady contact me telling me he was cheating on me and fathered her child. All in all I walked away without not wanting to go back to him at all. I want nothing to do with him I just want my damn divorce that he refuses to give me. He has already told me even if I come up with the money to file he will NOT sign the papers at all that he is wanting me to come back to him. I am NOT going back I REFUSE to go back to him.

I just want to know why this woman has all of a sudden decided to contact me again and why she wants to be friends on Facebook. I am NOT adding her I am not that stupid for sure. I have deleted and blocked everyone who has contact with my "ex husband" so he can't get any information on me. Yes, he knows my parent's phone number and where they live but I haven't been staying at my parent's house for about a month.
10/14/2012