Facebook snafu

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Facebook snafu

Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
So ok I admit I am such a social site misfit that I liked several items from EF on my public facebook page...one being a full frontal cover shot of Buck Angel's Video I happen to like a whole lot! That one thankfully only went to the person I was actually meaning it to go to. The others blasted out across cyberspace to my farflung oh so Suthrun Baptist family. Without a nice "hey what the hell?" my Mom's Sister decides to inform me the I am not a sweet girl and that she is gonna pray that God "get's a hold of me and straightens me out!"

Forget for an instant that I am totally out of the closet about my religion (Wiccan); my lovestyle (polyamorous); the fact that I am, at this moment, living in my life partner's house with all three children, one of which is acknowledged to be his; it's the fact that I happen to like some of the most beautiful paddles available from EF that makes me a bad person. Everything else they can forgive but sex toys???? I'm going to hell for that.

I have finally had enough of my family and their shame inducing machine and I cut ties on facebook after informing her, on her wall, that it was a mistake and had she politely come to me I would have appologized. I am not a bad person...I am facebook illiterate but I fail to see why God would condemn me for liking a nice paddling every now and again! I mean c'mon these babies are BEAUTIFUL! Ah well I refuse to appologize for liking sex or sex toys and maybe this sounds pathetic and whiny but damnit I am tired of being told I should strive to be a "sweet lil girl" I'm 40 years old for fuck's sake! I am tired of being told I should hide and feel ashamed if people find out my 'secrets'. I don't have secrets, I wouldn't know HOW to keep something secret...that ability was beaten out of me before I even knew it WAS better to shut the fuck up.

So once again I am the black sheep of my oh so lilly white family...I have also achieved 100 reviews on EF. I think I'll focus on the latter achievement tonight.

Rant over
09/13/2010
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Chilipepper Chilipepper
Love you, anyway, Lady. *hugs and all*
09/13/2010
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Congrats on both counts.

I know many don't agree and have had different experiences but, for me, when I stopped letting my family get to me with their judgments is when the judgments pretty much stopped.

Good on ya, Airen!
09/13/2010
Andromeda Andromeda
You go girl.

Black sheep, unite! Baaaaaaaa.
09/13/2010
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Go you, Airen!!! I toast to your bravery and strength!

I'm terrified of accidentally clicking any of the facebook buttons on EF! But not because I think my friends or family would disown me or cut me off, but because I am very honest about my sex life in my reviews and that would be just... odd. Uncomfortable, even.

I even recently told my mom that I review sex toys and her only reaction was, "Don't tell your father. He won't handle that well." Which I found hilarious.

But really, who is anyone to say what is right or wrong, moral or immoral? What should matter is that ALL parties are happy, healthy, and unharmed. And so I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes ever:

"There is family you are born with and family you gather as you go along. If your family cannot accept you, don't drag them along behind you for years. It is great weight on your karma. Take care of yourself, find accepting friends, adopt other people who need family and then maybe someday your family will catch up with you."
-Just Evelyn, "Mom, I Need to be A Girl"
09/13/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Congrats on both counts.

I know many don't agree and have had different experiences but, for me, when I stopped letting my family get to me with their judgments is when the judgments pretty much stopped.

Good on ya, Airen!
It was like a kick in the gut but I didn't cry and I didn't rage. It just made up my mind for me. I have a family, and it's as loving as we can make it. It is slowly becoming enough....it's hard to stop trying to be the good girl and looking for approval that never comes.
09/13/2010
SydVicious SydVicious
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
It was like a kick in the gut but I didn't cry and I didn't rage. It just made up my mind for me. I have a family, and it's as loving as we can make it. It is slowly becoming enough....it's hard to stop trying to be the good girl and ...
It's such a terrible feeling when family or close friends say mean and nasty things. I'm sorry that your Aunt doesn't understand you or your lifestyle, but it's not really up to her and you don't need her approval. Also, congrats on your 100 reviews!
09/13/2010
cherryredhead88 cherryredhead88
Congrats on all the reviews

Now, I also want to like stuff on FB as well, but I know some people who are under 18 and I prefer not to subject them to that... lol. Anyways, I think my mom knows that I do this but we don't talk about it. Sex has always been a "taboo" topic for her to talk about with me.

That is another reason I really love this place; because there are so many wonderful people here. Sex is the thing that brings us all together, but I feel like I am part a family here!

I think the majority of people who are so against all of this don't even realize why. They were told that their whole lives, or they are scared of it. It's a shame, they are really missing out!
09/13/2010
SydVicious SydVicious
Quote:
Originally posted by cherryredhead88
Congrats on all the reviews

Now, I also want to like stuff on FB as well, but I know some people who are under 18 and I prefer not to subject them to that... lol. Anyways, I think my mom knows that I do this but we don't talk about it. ...
I agree, they are missing out. I have an aunt who is only like 5 years older than me and she is really the loudmouth of the family and she says things that are totally not appropriate all the time, but I made a simple comment about a vibrator and she acted like I had 3 heads.

This is how it went down: My cousin said her phone vibrated in her pocket and felt like a vibrator. I said that's a weak vibration and my cousin said she wouldn't know she has never used one because she is "getting some". I said: "well your missing out". What's so bad about that!!?
09/13/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by cherryredhead88
Congrats on all the reviews

Now, I also want to like stuff on FB as well, but I know some people who are under 18 and I prefer not to subject them to that... lol. Anyways, I think my mom knows that I do this but we don't talk about it. ...
I should have checked to see what liking stuff did and where it posted, so I know it was a shock and all, it was the unwarranted attempt to shame me into believing as she does that got me riled up. Hell she raised her husband's son by another woman who was born between his two sons by my aunt. So it's not like she can get all righteous about my son but she wants to. This was just a cheap shot to let me know that while they say they accept me and love me I need to learn my place...
09/13/2010
Alegria Alegria
Congrats on the reviews!

I don't use facebook anymore for similar reasons. Seems like it's way too easy to send out super intimate or private details.

Good job on holding your ground; I applaud you for that.
09/14/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by SydVicious
I agree, they are missing out. I have an aunt who is only like 5 years older than me and she is really the loudmouth of the family and she says things that are totally not appropriate all the time, but I made a simple comment about a vibrator and ...
Nothing and in my family they would have then turned and asked my sister what she would recommend because it's family knowledge that She's the slut...regardless of the fact that it hurts and anihillated her self esteem. It always ends up being my fault somehow though cause I have been forever cast in the 'caretaker' role. I'm a sex kitten and she's a CNA and has taken the paramedic test. It's crazy how stupid dysfunctional families can be.

For goodness sake there's nothing wrong with three adult women discussing vibrators and levels of vibration!
09/14/2010
Sinjo Sinjo
Buck angel is absolutely horrific.

However I agree with cutting ties to your family. My family isn't religious, however if they were I wouldn't be hanging around them.
  •   (1)
    I am personally offended by this
09/14/2010
Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Quote:
Originally posted by cherryredhead88
Congrats on all the reviews

Now, I also want to like stuff on FB as well, but I know some people who are under 18 and I prefer not to subject them to that... lol. Anyways, I think my mom knows that I do this but we don't talk about it. ...
"I think the majority of people who are so against all of this don't even realize why. They were told that their whole lives, or they are scared of it."

Precisely. People have a strong reaction to the things they do not understand. The things they do not understand are the things they fear. And we all tend to have a knee-jerk reaction to the things we fear. But we should not burden others with our insecurities by attempting to browbeat them into conforming to the boundaries of our own personal comfort zone.

I try to continually remind myself that all people (including myself) are naive and completely ignorant about something or the other. But everyone has the capacity to learn, to grow, and to conquer their fears.

So, bearing in mind that even your most annoying family members are works in progress, continue to unapologetically draw boundaries with them on what is and is not appropriate in communicating. Let your aunt know that her "communication" with you about this unfortunate event (for which you have already accepted responsibility and maturely apologized) has been disrespectful and that you expect to be treated with common courtesy and respect -- no matter how much she may disagree about your personal adult choices. Continue to voice this expectation and each time it is violated, simply walk away (figuratively or literally). People will learn to either treat you respectfully or to stay out of your life completely. Either way, your boundaries will certainly be respected -- whether your choices are respected or not. But I know that you are a strong lady who does not require anyone else's approval of your choices.

Oh, and congratulations on your 100 reviews! That is awesome. Upwards and onwards, I say.
09/14/2010
Envy Envy
I am so glad my family doesn't use or like facebook nor are they even hardly computer literate. XD
09/14/2010
Trashley Trashley
Quote:
Originally posted by Andromeda
You go girl.

Black sheep, unite! Baaaaaaaa.
Seriously. Go you for being yourself through that! And for not being a vanilla bean in general. :] Sometimes people need to take some time to accept other's lifestyles.
09/14/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Selective Sensualist
"I think the majority of people who are so against all of this don't even realize why. They were told that their whole lives, or they are scared of it."

Precisely. People have a strong reaction to the things they do not ...
What Selective said!

Oh, Airen, it sucks to have judgmental family. My family is similar, one of my cousins either never dates or only dates in secret, because she's divorced and her mother, in addition to others in the family, think that "It's a sin." to date after divorce, because "In the eyes of God, you are still married to your husband." Despite the fact that her mother and sisters basically sabotaged her marriage and she let it happen.

I get looks from this side of my family from everything to what I wear (most of the women dress like dowdy widows, even when they are in their 20s) to the fact that I actually occasionally TOUCH (not to mention sometimes hug and kiss) my husband at family parties. WTF?

It's my opinion that people this judgmental have their own skeletons in their closets and often try to shame others to prevent people from looking at their lives too closely. Either that, or they lead completely boring flavorless lives and get upset if ANYONE has any fun. There are people who hate when others have fun.

You don't need the shame. You know your life is good and happy and functional. Good for you for standing up for yourself. You are true to yourself, which is most likely more than any of those people can say.

Hugs and love.
09/14/2010
softkkisses softkkisses
Whatever happen to "do not judge others" on God can judge you and me for our sins...IF we have any!
09/14/2010
gone77 gone77
Quote:
Originally posted by Sinjo
Buck angel is absolutely horrific.

However I agree with cutting ties to your family. My family isn't religious, however if they were I wouldn't be hanging around them.
Hey, Sinjo:

I'm curious about your statement: "Buck Angel is absolutely horrific." I think that's a rather strong thing to say about Buck. Any particular reason why you feel this way?
09/14/2010
gone77 gone77
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
So ok I admit I am such a social site misfit that I liked several items from EF on my public facebook page...one being a full frontal cover shot of Buck Angel's Video I happen to like a whole lot! That one thankfully only went to the person I was ...
Nice rant! Whatever makes you happy, ya know? Unfortunately, some families don't care about that. Anyway, you do what you gotta do.

Congrats on your 100 reviews.
09/14/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
I've largely stepped away from my dad's side of the family. My favorite aunt is on that side too...but that's besides the point. That side of the family is SO dysfunctional that even Dr. Phil wouldn't know where to start.

In one case, my dad's oldest sister's daughter outed me as gay to our grandparents to make herself look better. I'm the first person on my dad's side of the family to go to college and was a single 20 something at the time who comes across a little more feminine than the rest of the guy in my family (I'm also the only one who doesn't care for hunting either). She is about 10 years older, about 300 pounds over medically obese, and has 4 kids from 4 fathers she's all run out on. Thing is: I'm not gay.

I applaud anyone who can take the stand you did Airen. Good job!
09/14/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
Hey, Sinjo:

I'm curious about your statement: "Buck Angel is absolutely horrific." I think that's a rather strong thing to say about Buck. Any particular reason why you feel this way?
I took it to mean it's rather hard core for most Bible thumping idiots Kristi, but ya I'd like to go on record as saying Buck Angel is a warm, wonderful, amazing person who happens to make incredibly hawt porn. I love his commitment to keeping himself and his fellow actors healthy. I also admire him for simply being himself unappologetically. That's actually where I drew my inspiration from...I first thought it was that video that prompted the attack but I was corrected and pointed to the paddles and a conversation about condom choice!

Ya it was not too surprising actually and my sister contacted me all pissed that I had unfriended the whole family section because my Aunt was being an 'officious busybody'. I soothed her ruffled feathers and she was kinda pleased to learn that I was here at EF. She was the black sheep for many years for working in a brick and mortar sex toy store! Now we can talk shop. LOL
09/14/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I've largely stepped away from my dad's side of the family. My favorite aunt is on that side too...but that's besides the point. That side of the family is SO dysfunctional that even Dr. Phil wouldn't know where to start.

In ...
Well hot DAMN JR, she may be a tramp but yer GAY!! Probably surprised the hell out of Miss Cinnamon though...
09/14/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Well hot DAMN JR, she may be a tramp but yer GAY!! Probably surprised the hell out of Miss Cinnamon though...
hahaha

I am so much the black sheep of my family, it's almost funny again after going all the way past not-funny. I'm also a firm believer that your biological family is not required be your only family. I know plenty of people who are otherwise ok, but their parents/family situation really messed them up; some have struck out and made the best for themselves and others use it as a crutch to never excel in life.
09/14/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
Good for you for standing up for yourself. Blood related or not, if they're a negative influence they're a negative influence and you don't need to be told why you're a bad person just because you happen to enjoy slightly less vanilla sex than the rest of your family. Cheers to you on that and the 100 reviews!
09/14/2010
gone77 gone77
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I took it to mean it's rather hard core for most Bible thumping idiots Kristi, but ya I'd like to go on record as saying Buck Angel is a warm, wonderful, amazing person who happens to make incredibly hawt porn. I love his commitment to ...
Ha! Talk shop indeed!

Officious busybodies are always such a buzzkill. Ugh.
09/14/2010
Total posts: 26
Unique posters: 17