Fetlife, I hate you

Blinky! So glad that you commented, because I generally find you to be funny and witty and smart and such. It makes me feel validated that you also hate Fetlife, lol. I never delete it...I just go on hiatus...it's like a hot coil I just keep touching but refuse to turn off...

I'm pretty active there. I am a greeter and moderate one of the larger groups. I have to be on there daily to do my duties. To be honest, this isn't the first time I've heard something like this. I just don't see it though. I mean, I just think that whenever you are- it is what you make of it. I see the people who believe in the 'true ways' or whatever and mostly ignore it. I belong to groups that keep it at a minimum. I really like it. Some of the threads are boring, repetitive, and riddled with ridicule, but some of them are really thought-provoking.

I don't think there is any place quite like it. I mean, obviously due to my level of involvement with them I like it there...

Dunno what fetlife is...

Pff, Fetlife is for the birds. It's all a popularity contest. It's MySpace for kinky people.

"Oh my God, I have the hottest pictures on Fetlife!"

"Oh my God, you're totally not commenting on me!"

"Look at meeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm being a twue slave!"

Yeah, Fetlife can suck my left nut. I met the person I'm talking to currently on there. That's the only productive thing that has come of that site for me.

I had high hopes for FetLife in the beginning. I have not participated in any social networking site before (save twitter, but does that count?), so I was excited to try it out. Nope... just as I expected, people showing off and spouting non-sense.

I don't participate or even 'friend' anyone on my profile, but I do keep my profile active in order to check in on groups for meetups. That is what I find invaluable, by the way--before FetLife, it felt impossible to find out about area groups and events. Now, it is all in one spot. It is easier for those groups to work together, as well. It is pretty incredible that I can peek in on British groups and start to make friends, in preparation for my moving. GOD BLESS, the internet sure does create opportunity, sometimes.

(...does EF count as Social Networking? I am so tech-backwards.)

I totally love Fetlife. But that's because I ignore idiots who message and I also stay away from most of the forums. It's a great way to keep up with my kinky friends though.

Fetlife isn't so bad. I've never read of such things, honestly, but perhaps that's because I stay away from it and rarely get on there.

I just never had much interest. And I've heard plenty of bad things from people I like and trust, so I've never looked into it.

Fetlife is useful if you have real time friends/community there - it's a good communication/planning tool.

It's also nice if you find groups/forums where you fit in.

But, christ on a crutch, the cliques and stuff get old.

You have one group who believes this and one group who believes that and, without FAIL, someone from group A has to shove into group B and tell them they're wrong, instead of just letting people believe what they want to believe.

I stick to my own group and don't bother arguing anymore or participating in areas that are contrary to how I live my life. It saves me mad stress.

I also got bombarded with tons and tons of messages even after I took down pretty much all the photos I had up of myself. I also had my pictures stolen a bunch and that really turned me off because I didn't feel like I could even be myself; I had to hide behind photos of other stuff. To some extent that's to be expected on the internet whenever you put any image up, but in a community like Fetlife you would hope that people would look out for each other a bit more. The caretakers also did a terrible job of handling these things.

Additionally, I never really found a group where I fit. I also have lots of kinky friends, but none of us really define ourselves based on our kinkiness; it's more a bedroom-only thing that is private rather than community-oriented. I go to Fetlife just to be around like-minded pervs, maybe share info on a cool party and chat about stuff. Maybe I never felt like I fit there because I'm not particularly dogmatic about what I do in my home. It feels like everyone on this site has something lofty and ever so important to say about the way they get their rocks off. Like, c'mon people.

In any case, for those that enjoy it again I say power to you. I was just wonderin' if anyone else couldn't deal with the drama and pissing contests, because it totally overwhelms me lol.

I end up on the Geek forum, which has a lot of entertaining posts, but I rarely post anywhere else on the site, just browse and read on occasion.

I'm a little annoyed at the audacity of some of the "dommes" on there. I almost want to say you're not a domme, you're a control freak who gets a sick pleasure out of mentally and physically abusing people. There's a fine line, and you're crossing it.

Personally I like FetLife, but I think it's all about how you use it. I mainly use the site to

a. keep in touch with people I met in person at kinky events
b. meet new kinksters who go to my school
c. keep up with local events

As far as long debates with assholes and messages from creepers, I stay far away.

Some sites get overrun with those that have a smartass, witty comment for everything. It's like you have to prove yourself to be one of the "gang". I hate that crap. It doesn't seem to be an issue here on EF. Everyone is respectful of everyone else's opinions for the most part and the only thing we all seem to be intolerant of are those who are disruptive.

I've had a couple accounts over on Fetlife but eventually deleted them. There's just too much drama and blatant stupidity there. I couldn't deal. lol

Im on fetlife as under funsubmissive... its okay, sometimes it gets old.

PS. I'm surprised that this post is getting so much response. It's interesting to hear opinions on this, keep 'em coming if you don't mind

I looked around once or twice and it didn't appeal to me.