Fighting with yourself and people around you

Contributor: .kaycat .kaycat
Do you have battles with yourself and the people around you? I know everyone does.
I find myself torn a lot because I never like disappointing anyone or picking sides. I tend to take on everyone's problems by storm, and try to help and it doesn't help me most of the time just stresses me out. I fight myself about how I feel, how people around me feel and what to make of things. The struggle of wanting what's best, knowing what's best and trying your best can be a lot.
How do you handle yourself when you're torn between right and wrong, friendships and faith, family and significant others?
05/20/2013
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Contributor: spiced spiced
Yeah, I know what you're talking about and I've been there.

I used to stress a lot about other people's expectations of me, especially when my heart wanted to go in one direction, but someone else wanted to me do something completely different. When one of my friends had a problem, I just wanted to fix it for them, whether they wanted my help or not. When people I cared for had disagreements, I wanted to fix those, too.

I still prefer to live up to expectations, to help friends with problems, and to help loved ones work out disagreements. But I've learned to accept that there are things I can do — and then there are things that are beyond my control. Other people's expectations belong entirely to them. That's beyond my control. My expectations for myself (and yours for yourself) are the ones that matter. They're within our control. I offer help with problems and disagreements, and give help if it's wanted. Otherwise, I let it go, and let other people work out their own issues. This has made me a MUCH happier, effective person.

Learning to live for oneself, and learning to let go of what you can't control, isn't easy at first. But it's important to learn, and one of the first necessary steps towards true maturity, and happiness. Hang in there. It does get better.
05/20/2013