Have you ever met a stranger for sex?

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Have you ever met a stranger for sex?

SMichelle SMichelle
A friend of mine has been talking to a man for a few months online, and wants to meet him purely for sex. She would be traveling to meet him, due to the fact that he lives in an area that she's always wanted to visit. Her plan is to meet him in a hotel room, and spend nearly a week with him if things went well. Both of them are very clear that their meeting would be almost completely sexual.

To me, this sounds careless, and dangerous. To her, it's no different than meeting someone at a bar and hooking up afterwards -- which I guess is true.

Anyway, this got me thinking. Have you ever met a stranger for sex? How did it go? Any tips on keeping safe when doing this?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, and it went well.
18
Yes, and it was a mistake.
8
I haven't, but I would.
13
Total votes: 39 (36 voters)
Poll is closed
12/26/2011
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SMichelle SMichelle
What happened to my forth option?? I did have a choice there that said "I would NEVER do that" but for some reason it didn't show up.
12/26/2011
T&A1987 T&A1987
no, i have not.
12/26/2011
Chirple Chirple
I sort of did. It wasn't really just for sex, but it was part of the plan. Funny thing, we didn't even have sex, but it was still a lot of fun.

I met my partner on-line, and of course, there had to be a "first time" of meeting in person. We had spoken on the phone and over web-cam. If your friend hasn't done this, I would highly recommend she does. That way, even if they are a creep, at least you won't have the added surprise of them being a totally different person than they described or sent a picture of.


However, right off the bat I need to say DON'T meet this guy in a hotel room ! GAH ! She needs to meet him in a PUBLIC SPACE. She might think she knows him, and maybe she does - but she still needs to be safe.


We just had a girl go missing from a parking lot where I work - she was meeting a guy she had met on-line (and had known for a good amount of time), and she seemed like a very smart girl.

Meet in a HIGHLY public space, somewhere that people are watching and not in a hurry to get other places (like going inside from a cold parking lot). Mall, coffee shop, somewhere like that. Stuff can still happen, but at least you have some time to talk to this person in a safe place and have more time to evaluate them and make a choice.
12/26/2011
MrWishyWashy MrWishyWashy
A week seems like a stretch, would not agree to that personally. But yes, have had a woman come over just for sex (and she was married). Not the best highlight in my life and not necasarilly proud of it or bragging, but it went better than expected. Really surprised she came over, but so it goes. I would suggest at least talking to the person on the phone before-hand. She knew my background and I knew her's before she came over.
12/26/2011
SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Chirple
I sort of did. It wasn't really just for sex, but it was part of the plan. Funny thing, we didn't even have sex, but it was still a lot of fun.

I met my partner on-line, and of course, there had to be a "first time" of ...
She's seen him on webcam, and heard him on voice. I don't think she's spoken to him on the phone yet.

How long after a public meeting would you suggest going to a hotel?
For me, going the same day is too soon, but then I have no experience with this sort of thing. But then, really, meeting at a bar and then going home with someone (which people do ALL the time) is really not much different, in all actuality..
12/26/2011
poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
A friend of mine has been talking to a man for a few months online, and wants to meet him purely for sex. She would be traveling to meet him, due to the fact that he lives in an area that she's always wanted to visit. Her plan is to meet him in a ...
I can not vote because there is a NO WAY IN HELL option. I had a friend who got raped doing that, she talked to the guy for almost a year online and they had masturbated using the web cam and talked all the time on the phone. she met him and when she go there she was more then willing to have sex with him but he drugged her. When she came to she was tied up and he raped her and left her tied up in a hotel room. A maid found her later that day. It was a sick scary thing and it messed her up bad..
12/26/2011
SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by poetprincess
I can not vote because there is a NO WAY IN HELL option. I had a friend who got raped doing that, she talked to the guy for almost a year online and they had masturbated using the web cam and talked all the time on the phone. she met him and when she ...
Yeah, there was a "No way" sort of option, but I'm not sure why it didn't post. Unfortunately it won't let me edit it to add that option.
12/26/2011
Chirple Chirple
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
She's seen him on webcam, and heard him on voice. I don't think she's spoken to him on the phone yet.

How long after a public meeting would you suggest going to a hotel?
For me, going the same day is too soon, but then I have no ...
It's really hard to say what amount of time is needed.

I think it's like what you're comfortable with in "normal" dating. Would you go home with someone after just one day ? Would you need a week ? It depends.

There's always an element of risk, even if they'd met in person. The best you can do is to be alert and listen to your brain if something seems fishy.

In this situation, I'd encourage her to have someone she is set to call and check-in with. She could even bring a friend to the initial meeting - I did that. That way, you can get an outside opinion.
12/26/2011
PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by Chirple
I sort of did. It wasn't really just for sex, but it was part of the plan. Funny thing, we didn't even have sex, but it was still a lot of fun.

I met my partner on-line, and of course, there had to be a "first time" of ...
Your writing my next Fantasy!!! If the meeting is in one of those $500 rooms on the fifteenth floor with a large king size bed set against dark mahogany walls with matching carpet and overlooked the twinkling lights of the skyline of downtown "dream"; well, what would you do then? Oh ah, there is also an expensive bottle of wine with two glasses and ONE long-stem red rose on the table, anything could happen! The lenthly internet chat was only a prelude to meeting in a public place which a given to begin with!
12/26/2011
bayosgirl bayosgirl
No, and I never would. Sounds like a good way to get raped and/or murdered.
12/27/2011
Snozzberries Snozzberries
Well, we weren't entirely strangers. Like, friend of a friend kind of thing, but we had never really met in person. We'd been at a party once or twice together but didn't interact.

Not sure if that counts.
12/27/2011
K101 K101
Didn't vote because there wasn't a "I havent and WOULD NOT"
12/27/2011
Cherry21 Cherry21
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
A friend of mine has been talking to a man for a few months online, and wants to meet him purely for sex. She would be traveling to meet him, due to the fact that he lives in an area that she's always wanted to visit. Her plan is to meet him in a ...
So far, all the people we have had threesomes with we're strangers. its safe, just be cautious. And she should meet him at least in hotel lobby or something first.
12/27/2011
AmberM AmberM
I haven't, Nor plan on it.
12/27/2011
js250 js250
No, but I can see where there might be an appeal for some people.
12/27/2011
Errant Venture Errant Venture
It wasn't exactly as how it happened for your friend, but I have met up with strangers for sex. I once did a celibacy thing, and after I finished I met several women for sex, whom I'd only met briefly beforehand.
12/27/2011
Kallisto Kallisto
I was looking for the fourth option too! Haven't and wouldn't.
12/27/2011
BuckeyeGal04 BuckeyeGal04
Never ever would I, and that doesn't even take into consideration all of the violence and craziness out there in this day and age.
12/27/2011
Tagmstr Tagmstr
I never have and never would.
12/27/2011
Beck Beck
Not for me, but I do not judge.
12/27/2011
RonLee RonLee
Yes I have but not since I met my partner. Of course her and I met online too.
12/27/2011
SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Kallisto
I was looking for the fourth option too! Haven't and wouldn't.
Yep -- sorry about that, the fourth option somehow didn't submit with the rest of it (but I DID put it in there). I can't edit it to fix it, unfortunately.
12/27/2011
Rossie Rossie
I'll pick your fourth option. I will not have sex with a stranger.
12/27/2011
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
You can never truly trust anyone...
12/27/2011
spiceboy spiceboy
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
She's seen him on webcam, and heard him on voice. I don't think she's spoken to him on the phone yet.

How long after a public meeting would you suggest going to a hotel?
For me, going the same day is too soon, but then I have no ...
Meeting someone in a bar and going home with them does seem different to me. You just happen upon someone and whatever happens happens. Meeting them online can be more premeditated, they may have selected you for a particular reason that they think makes you more vulnerable, and they just have greater overall access to you beforehand. Didn't anyone see the first episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation? They could have hacked your email and then used what they learned about you to win you over!

Both situations are risky but the risks are different. If you meet a weirdo in a bar they're less likely to have been stalking you. It depends on where you met each other online. If I met someone in a community like Eden Fantasys I'd feel like I'd have a greater understanding of their intentions.
12/27/2011
SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by spiceboy
Meeting someone in a bar and going home with them does seem different to me. You just happen upon someone and whatever happens happens. Meeting them online can be more premeditated, they may have selected you for a particular reason that they think ...
I don't if it's true that some weirdo in a bar is less likely to have been stalking you.

I will say that while I have never met anyone for sex, I did meet one of my best friends off of a yahoo chatroom. I also met another friend off of a social networking site. Both are two of the sweetest people I have ever met -- and I guess, looking back at it, the way I went about meeting them was incredibly dangerous and stupid.

In bar settings, though.. I actually was followed home from a man I met at a bar one day. I continued to see him outside of my place for weeks after. Had another situation where I met, and was dancing, with a man at a club. When it was time for me to leave, he followed me to my car, and ended up trying to force me into his car. Thankfully one of the bouncers happened to hear something going on outside, and came to my rescue.
12/27/2011
Kaltir Kaltir
I'm agreeing that there should be a NO WAY IN HELL option. It's risky, and not something that would EVER be worth it to me. Even if I wanted to meet someone for sex, I'd be turned off by thinking it was so gross. No offense to anyone else, but the thought turns my stomach.
12/27/2011
Envy Envy
Hell no, I need to know the person first and trust them completely.
12/27/2011
spiceboy spiceboy
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
I don't if it's true that some weirdo in a bar is less likely to have been stalking you.

I will say that while I have never met anyone for sex, I did meet one of my best friends off of a yahoo chatroom. I also met another friend off ...
Oh there are definitely major creeps at bars! But even if someone follows you home, they wouldn't have the same access to information about you that someone meeting you online would have. That's why I said the risks are different.
12/27/2011
Total posts: 64
Unique posters: 46