Have you ever met a stranger for sex?

I sort of did. It wasn't really just for sex, but it was part of the plan. Funny thing, we didn't even have sex, but it was still a lot of fun.

I met my partner on-line, and of course, there had to be a "first time" of meeting in person. We had spoken on the phone and over web-cam. If your friend hasn't done this, I would highly recommend she does. That way, even if they are a creep, at least you won't have the added surprise of them being a totally different person than they described or sent a picture of.


However, right off the bat I need to say DON'T meet this guy in a hotel room ! GAH ! She needs to meet him in a PUBLIC SPACE. She might think she knows him, and maybe she does - but she still needs to be safe.


We just had a girl go missing from a parking lot where I work - she was meeting a guy she had met on-line (and had known for a good amount of time), and she seemed like a very smart girl.

Meet in a HIGHLY public space, somewhere that people are watching and not in a hurry to get other places (like going inside from a cold parking lot). Mall, coffee shop, somewhere like that. Stuff can still happen, but at least you have some time to talk to this person in a safe place and have more time to evaluate them and make a choice. less

A friend of mine has been talking to a man for a few months online, and wants to meet him purely for sex. She would be traveling to meet him, due to the fact that he lives in an area that she's always wanted to visit. Her plan is to meet him in a hotel room, and spend nearly a week with him if things went well. Both of them are very clear that their meeting would be almost completely sexual.

To me, this sounds careless, and dangerous. To her, it's no different than meeting someone at a bar and hooking up afterwards -- which I guess is true.

Anyway, this got me thinking. Have you ever met a stranger for sex? How did it go? Any tips on keeping safe when doing this? less

I can not vote because there is a NO WAY IN HELL option. I had a friend who got raped doing that, she talked to the guy for almost a year online and they had masturbated using the web cam and talked all the time on the phone. she met him and when she go there she was more then willing to have sex with him but he drugged her. When she came to she was tied up and he raped her and left her tied up in a hotel room. A maid found her later that day. It was a sick scary thing and it messed her up bad.. less

She's seen him on webcam, and heard him on voice. I don't think she's spoken to him on the phone yet.

How long after a public meeting would you suggest going to a hotel?
For me, going the same day is too soon, but then I have no experience with this sort of thing. But then, really, meeting at a bar and then going home with someone (which people do ALL the time) is really not much different, in all actuality.. less

I sort of did. It wasn't really just for sex, but it was part of the plan. Funny thing, we didn't even have sex, but it was still a lot of fun.

I met my partner on-line, and of course, there had to be a "first time" of meeting in person. We had spoken on the phone and over web-cam. If your friend hasn't done this, I would highly recommend she does. That way, even if they are a creep, at least you won't have the added surprise of them being a totally different person than they described or sent a picture of.


However, right off the bat I need to say DON'T meet this guy in a hotel room ! GAH ! She needs to meet him in a PUBLIC SPACE. She might think she knows him, and maybe she does - but she still needs to be safe.


We just had a girl go missing from a parking lot where I work - she was meeting a guy she had met on-line (and had known for a good amount of time), and she seemed like a very smart girl.

Meet in a HIGHLY public space, somewhere that people are watching and not in a hurry to get other places (like going inside from a cold parking lot). Mall, coffee shop, somewhere like that. Stuff can still happen, but at least you have some time to talk to this person in a safe place and have more time to evaluate them and make a choice. less

A friend of mine has been talking to a man for a few months online, and wants to meet him purely for sex. She would be traveling to meet him, due to the fact that he lives in an area that she's always wanted to visit. Her plan is to meet him in a hotel room, and spend nearly a week with him if things went well. Both of them are very clear that their meeting would be almost completely sexual.

To me, this sounds careless, and dangerous. To her, it's no different than meeting someone at a bar and hooking up afterwards -- which I guess is true.

Anyway, this got me thinking. Have you ever met a stranger for sex? How did it go? Any tips on keeping safe when doing this? less

She's seen him on webcam, and heard him on voice. I don't think she's spoken to him on the phone yet.

How long after a public meeting would you suggest going to a hotel?
For me, going the same day is too soon, but then I have no experience with this sort of thing. But then, really, meeting at a bar and then going home with someone (which people do ALL the time) is really not much different, in all actuality.. less

Meeting someone in a bar and going home with them does seem different to me. You just happen upon someone and whatever happens happens. Meeting them online can be more premeditated, they may have selected you for a particular reason that they think makes you more vulnerable, and they just have greater overall access to you beforehand. Didn't anyone see the first episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation? They could have hacked your email and then used what they learned about you to win you over!

Both situations are risky but the risks are different. If you meet a weirdo in a bar they're less likely to have been stalking you. It depends on where you met each other online. If I met someone in a community like Eden Fantasys I'd feel like I'd have a greater understanding of their intentions. less

I don't if it's true that some weirdo in a bar is less likely to have been stalking you.

I will say that while I have never met anyone for sex, I did meet one of my best friends off of a yahoo chatroom. I also met another friend off of a social networking site. Both are two of the sweetest people I have ever met -- and I guess, looking back at it, the way I went about meeting them was incredibly dangerous and stupid.

In bar settings, though.. I actually was followed home from a man I met at a bar one day. I continued to see him outside of my place for weeks after. Had another situation where I met, and was dancing, with a man at a club. When it was time for me to leave, he followed me to my car, and ended up trying to force me into his car. Thankfully one of the bouncers happened to hear something going on outside, and came to my rescue. less