How do you approach rude people?

MamaDivine MamaDivine
My sister in law can come off as quite rude. She says things like "Oh I hope you're not doing this...or that...." or something along the lines of "Well I would NEVER..." etc etc. I know why she is doing it. She is trying to say things that she really wants to tell me, without having to tell me directly. No, Im not paranoid, This is how she operates. So my question to you is, how do you say something to someone without coming off as a total rude-ass but get your point across that they are being rude and should mind their business?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Say something, being honest is the only way
26  (67%)
Don't say anything, brush them off
8  (21%)
Tell someone to talk to them for you
Get rude back
5  (13%)
Total votes: 39
Poll is closed
02/14/2012
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socceras socceras
I'm just really nice to them. It doesn't affect how I treat people.
02/14/2012
socceras socceras
Quote:
Originally posted by socceras
I'm just really nice to them. It doesn't affect how I treat people.
Only because it's usually at work. If I'm at school or something I get right in their face and make them wish they were invisible.
02/14/2012
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
My sister in law can come off as quite rude. She says things like "Oh I hope you're not doing this...or that...." or something along the lines of "Well I would NEVER..." etc etc. I know why she is doing it. She is trying to ... More
i punch rude people in the face.
02/15/2012
(k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
My mother-in-law is one of those horribly rude people. The other night while we were over there for dinner, I covered my mouth and burped quietly, then excused myself. Her response was to call me a pig over and over. She has called me "fat bitch" (even though she is more overweight than I am) and "stupid bitch" on many occasions even though I try to avoid doing or saying anything that could be considered provocative.
The best way to deal with it is to just blow it off. If they want to be rude and nasty, let them. But don't let it get to you. By brushing it off, you show that you are more mature (and sane, in some cases). Getting nasty right back at them might feel good at the moment, but it won't help matters.
02/15/2012
Sir Sir
I would tell them that they are being rude and leave it at that. It's not rude to call someone rude.
02/15/2012
js250 js250
Usually, the ruder someone is, the sweeter I try to be back-just to get to them. I actually had one person ask why I was being so sweet, I just told them life was too short to be rude or a bitch.
02/15/2012
Coralbell Coralbell
I usually just ignore rude people. If it's someone I have to talk to, like a relative or someone at work, I will usually be courteous, but in sort of a cold way. I'm not going to be rude back unless I really get pushed too far and snap, but I can't really bring myself to be friendly to them either.
02/15/2012
bsgs bsgs
i generally give everyone the chance to make a good first impression, and i will be polite at first. however, if the person is nothing but rude, i will not let them be an asshole to me or my family, and i will stand up to them and probably be a bigger asshole back to them
02/15/2012
SilverMinxxx SilverMinxxx
I would respond to her with very short answers, like "well that's nice" (with a tone). And change the subject.
02/15/2012
zeebot zeebot
Being direct without being accusing/hurtful is usually the best way to go, but it's difficult to do. I dunno.
02/15/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
My sister in law can come off as quite rude. She says things like "Oh I hope you're not doing this...or that...." or something along the lines of "Well I would NEVER..." etc etc. I know why she is doing it. She is trying to ... More
I would say something in a non offensive way or have your husband mention to her that he has heard her say things to you that were a bit rude and he doesn't like that. My soon to be mother in law did little things like that to me or make smart ass comments and it really started to make me mad. I finally told my fiance that he needs to say something if he loves me and he confronted her about it and it stopped for awhile and she said it was a "joke". Then one night she heard us talking and I was crying and she came in and told me she heard what I said and apologized and that was a year ago and there haven't been any problems since.
02/15/2012
Katelyn Katelyn
I think it best to be either up front with people or avoid them altogether.
02/15/2012
Woman China Woman China
I am pretty straight forward with my thoughts and opinions, and more often than not blunt too. I come across as rude. But my intentions never are to be rude or mean. Friends of mine know this is how I am, and they just give me a look, and others flat out tell me I am being rude. And I do try to to think before I speak... it's a work in progress!!!

To people who are being malicious and rude to hurt, I usually just laugh at them because I think it is kindof funny. They do it to try to make themselves feel "bigger" and better than others. When no one is more better than anyone else.
02/15/2012
SexyRayne SexyRayne
Speak your mind!! it is not their life to live or her place to judge. Do not allow her to continue this if you dont want. Let her know you dont like that she is saying these things and just ask her nicely to stop.
02/15/2012
Errant Venture Errant Venture
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
i punch rude people in the face.
I used to approach rude people fist first, too. I don't any more, but sometimes I still hanker for that approach.
02/15/2012
Silverdrop Silverdrop
If they're family, then I do what I can to keep the peace. Anyone else simply gets excised from my life.
02/15/2012
DreamWolf DreamWolf
Be calm, nice and polite, unless the only way is to ignore them totally, you know, manners are always the very bessssssssst way to come out of such situations "winning", most of the assholes don't even know what in the world they could do against a calm, cheerful smile, some witty comment, all like a real gentleman or lady, most of the people dig it that any disagreement would be a reaction of dumb people, some don't get it though and of course those are whom you have to ignore finally, and it even happened with me once or twice that some folks (especially females, I always got along better with males, wonder why) got to like me a lot, because I always maneuvered all nice and polite, so they finally saw that their rudeness doesn't reach me (of course even if it does you better pretend and just have your polite, calm, smiling side, "unbreakable power of the wise" it feels like), so they ended up being nice with me, and some opening up too, seeing that maybe my taste is different in many things and I don't have a good opinion about quite a few types of people, but it doesn't mean that I hate people or not love them, and the love and respect gets through the nice behavior! Asshole repellent!!!
02/15/2012
Shellz31 Shellz31
Sometimes people don't learn unless you give them a taste of their own medicine!
02/15/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
When I'm at work and someone is rude to me, I generally do something similar to Coralbell. I'm still polite but my tone gets colder with them and I'm not as willing to go out of my way to help. Being rude to me won't get you very far if you want something done.

Outside of work, I usually either say something or (if it's bad enough) get attitude right back at them. I have a relative that plays the "I hope you aren't" and "I would never" game with my mom. I've told her to tell her "good thing you're not me" and leave it at that. Or simply "it's really not your business what I do." My mom opted for the more polite "I'll do what I think is best for me" which seemed to somewhat work.
02/15/2012
zwee75 zwee75
I have one fantastic SIL. The other one, our relationship is beyond repair. And I'm totally OK with that. Kind of sounds like your SIL. Be up front, stand up for yourself. If you don't, the resentment will build until you explode.
02/15/2012
BobbiJay BobbiJay
You should talk to her. If you think you will be rude and want to avoid a fight write a letter and give it to her.
02/15/2012
biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
My sister in law can come off as quite rude. She says things like "Oh I hope you're not doing this...or that...." or something along the lines of "Well I would NEVER..." etc etc. I know why she is doing it. She is trying to ... More
It really depends. I find that being calm but firm is the best strategy.
02/15/2012
Beck Beck
If it is your SIL then tell her straight up, why don't you talk to me with some respect! If she doesn't get shocked and appreciate it then mention to your brother what is going on and tell him all you want is to be treated respectful not like this is high school. You really don't want to fight with your SIL. If that doesn't work then she is just a bitch and you should ignore her at all cost, but that might mean ignoring your brother too. She is after all who he picked to married, so if she becomes an issue to the point where you don't want her around, then that will mean him too. Your best bet is to try to be nice after you tell her treat me with respect.
02/15/2012
MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by Silverdrop
If they're family, then I do what I can to keep the peace. Anyone else simply gets excised from my life.
Yeah, keeping the peace is something iM trying to do, beings that there has been quite a bit of tension in the family throughout the last few years.

Thing is, If I say something to her, she will definitely get an attitude with me. She is one of those types that will not let it go, Im pretty sure. Then again, who knows if she KNOWS she is being rude. its just how she is, so Im trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she just needs to be told to lay off. I think Ill be saying somethign to her next time I see her. I hate that she tries to be the "better mom" when she is around me. She is always making comments about my parenting or suggesting things to me like I don't already know what to do with my own kids. Ive been a mom a lot longer than her, and Im older than her, and been through quite a bit more in my lifetime. I just wish she would give me a break with that sorta thing.
02/15/2012
Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Try to be nice at first, if it doesn't work (she continues to be rude) then be honest and straightforward about how rude she appears to be to others, and if that still doesn't work, give her a taste of her own medicine.
02/15/2012
Nazaress Nazaress
Honesty is the best policy.
02/15/2012
idunshire idunshire
I tend to snap at people who I think about being rude.
02/15/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by DreamWolf
Be calm, nice and polite, unless the only way is to ignore them totally, you know, manners are always the very bessssssssst way to come out of such situations "winning", most of the assholes don't even know what in the world they could ... More
Good answer!

I usually respond quickly, with a baseball bat...or words - whichever leaves the least mess.
02/15/2012
rawsonbr rawsonbr
I've had this happen! My sister in law isn't fond of tattoos and whatnot and a few hurtful comments have been made. I try very hard to be polite when they say stuff, but these particular comments were too far! I had my husband talk to her. It might seem like a copout, but I felt it was the best option as I knew I would NOT handle myself appropriately! I love my husband, and I don't want to be ostricized, but it was his sister, and he talked to her. He explained how I felt privatley, and she apologized later, and everything has been ok. I let him deal with it because it was His sister, and I felt he would be more appropriate to her feelings without things turning into a huge deal.
02/27/2012
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Unique posters: 29