How do you deal with grief?

Lildrummrgurl7 Lildrummrgurl7
Yeah, I know. Not a happy topic.

Today is the anniversary of one of my best friend's suicide so I'm kind of numb today. I just spent the afternoon baking and cooking as a way to distract myself. The plus side is now I get to enjoy homemade banana bread, spaghetti and meatballs, and breadsticks. And my house smells delicious.

How do you deal with tough feelings? Do you face them head on or find a way to distract yourself?
02/24/2013
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deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Lildrummrgurl7
Yeah, I know. Not a happy topic.

Today is the anniversary of one of my best friend's suicide so I'm kind of numb today. I just spent the afternoon baking and cooking as a way to distract myself. The plus side is now I get to enjoy ... More
I'm mourning the loss of someone today as well. I spend the day just taking everything slowly. Then I wake up the next day and try not to think about it.
02/24/2013
js250 js250
Both. I take time and go for a walk or to a special place I can be alone to think and sort through the feelings. Then go distract myself with busy work and try to work through everything a small bit at a time....less overwhelming that way. I also write a letter to the friend of mine who died.
02/25/2013
captainsgirl captainsgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Lildrummrgurl7
Yeah, I know. Not a happy topic.

Today is the anniversary of one of my best friend's suicide so I'm kind of numb today. I just spent the afternoon baking and cooking as a way to distract myself. The plus side is now I get to enjoy ... More
i personally am on medication for it
02/25/2013
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I'd say I'm on the list of deniers - I've lost both parents, many other relatives and a close friend who was just 49 when he passed. I just try to move on as quickly as possible. With some space and time I'm able to reflect on my relationship with them in a more positive way.

From what I read - this is not the ideal way to cope, but it's works OK for me.
02/25/2013
Lovesickalien Lovesickalien
Quote:
Originally posted by Lildrummrgurl7
Yeah, I know. Not a happy topic.

Today is the anniversary of one of my best friend's suicide so I'm kind of numb today. I just spent the afternoon baking and cooking as a way to distract myself. The plus side is now I get to enjoy ... More
I normally can't deal with grief, but I try to distract myself by taking a walk and being out in nature. Exercise helps make me feel better and talking about my feelings with someone I'm close to. If I hold those negative emotions inside, I will feel worse.
02/25/2013
explorer7 explorer7
distraction, defo, and then at some point it really hits but when it does, thats when things start to heal in a way, time doesnt heal it totally but it really does make things that bit better and then you can start looking back and think of the good things, better things, not focus on that bad bit.

suicide is a toughie, that does leave a mess for those who loved them
02/25/2013
Ansley Ansley
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I've only lost one person I ever cared about and that was recently, so it's a new feeling. I think we're still in the denial phase of things to a degree but that might change when we go home this summer to visit the grave site.
02/25/2013
richsam richsam
Quote:
Originally posted by Lildrummrgurl7
Yeah, I know. Not a happy topic.

Today is the anniversary of one of my best friend's suicide so I'm kind of numb today. I just spent the afternoon baking and cooking as a way to distract myself. The plus side is now I get to enjoy ... More
i ethier try my hardest not to think about it by keeping myself busy n if that dont work then i go for it and play sad songs and cry for awile it tends to help to cry
02/25/2013
LoveDrunk LoveDrunk
I cry
02/25/2013
spiced spiced
Having dealt with grief both personally and as a volunteer in the wake of natural disaster, I've learned that there's not a right or wrong way to deal with grief. People do it in their own way. I will say that trying not to feel what you feel almost always comes back around to bite you later.

And, Lildrummrgurl7, while there's nothing anyone can say which will help much (if at all), I can say I've lost a friend to suicide (not my best friend) and I can empathize, if only imperfectly. It will get better with time. Try to remember the good times you two had together and to be grateful for what you did get to share.

When I lose someone close to me, I try to feel as much as I can, as soon as I can. Unfortunately, I usually go numb (except, for some reason, when I've lost a pet). When I get numb, I just try to keep busy and to kindle that attitude of gratefulness. Because, the way I see it, we don't deserve the good things OR the bad things that happen to us.
02/25/2013
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 11