I drove his truck......

js250 js250
There is a country song about a man driving the truck of a lost loved one when he misses them. I just got my husband's truck out of the shop tonight and took it for a ride. That song came on...

I admit I was bawling so hard I had to pull over. But--it fit. I love and needed the memories, smell and feeling of driving HIS truck...so very much. I finally went home last night and stayed by myself since he was shot and killed. I needed his truck, I needed our memories, I need him--but driving the truck, tracing our favorite routes for our backroads drives and rodding the hell out of it on the long stretches of empty roads and my best friends 20 acre pasture....priceless. I was able to scream at him for leaving me, for quitting when our life together was danged near perfect and every bit of brush was the MF, SOB, etc. that shot him. That guy died a million deaths under my spinning wheels tonight and I did not commit a crime for actual murder...

--What song do you hear that you can relate to? Why? How?
Mar 12, 3:45 am
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Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
There is a country song about a man driving the truck of a lost loved one when he misses them. I just got my husband's truck out of the shop tonight and took it for a ride. That song came on...

I admit I was bawling so hard I had to pull ... More
I don't know how to follow a story like that! I'm glad though that you got to do that and get it out of your system. I can't believe that song came on though! What the hell kind of coincidence is that? It boggles my mind!

OK, I will take a stab at this...not that I am likely to really come across the song in my daily life, but when I was really little and it was just my dad and me in the car, he would sing to me part of that song, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away." I was cool with it as a little one, but I remember the last time he did it and I thought I was too old and I was all embarrassed. I still smile if I hear it and I'm glad I have the memories because I rarely saw my father while growing up (he was always at work). When I did see him he was usually scolding us, so it's nice to be reminded of the times before he became so gruff and was nicer.
Mar 12, 6:45 am
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
I don't know how to follow a story like that! I'm glad though that you got to do that and get it out of your system. I can't believe that song came on though! What the hell kind of coincidence is that? It boggles my mind!

OK, I ... More
'Tis the JS 'weird luck...' (Only me, *shaking head with a small smile*)
Mar 12, 1:46 pm
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
OK, after more thought, I did remember a better example! There is a song by Pepper Rabbit called Older Brother that I really liked and first discovered when I was moving into my house. I became good friends with the man next door, Chip and was so bummed he was going to sell the house because he was the best neighbor for me. We got along so well that had he been in better mental shape and closer to my age, I'd have dated him. He was a brilliant man who taught college chemistry and physics and was just such a gentle soul who loved to feed the wildlife and adored cats. Well, he was in heaven when I moved in with 5 cats he got to know and pet and I feed the birds and deer, and anything that shows up, pretty much, lol! I found out he was feeding the deer out of his living room window sometimes! I had to laugh because we both know it's illegal to feed them and I was doing the SAME thing, out of my bedroom window so no one would see me! We used to spend hours just chatting about science and nature, plus human psychology, it was great!. But the time came to sell the house and long story short, he killed himself as I was knocking on the door that evening trying to find him...it was devastating. He had terrible anxiety and other issues that I think once his mother, his rock died the previous year, he just couldn't cope. Not to mention he was taunted and ridiculed by other neighbors...it was definitely something I could see would likely happen, I just didn't expect it then, though I should have. He had no intention of leaving that house and he knew he couldn't take care of it. The new owners are just lovely and he chose them at a loss because he wanted them to be a good match for me and I am so grateful. Once he knew I liked them, he didn't even show the fully remodeled house to anyone else and they were the first to see it!

Anyway, a little after his death, I was listening to some Pepper Rabbit and that song came on and OMG, I lost it. It's a thinly veiled song about this singer's best friend who killed himself and now a song that already made me sad, just had so much more meaning all the sudden and the lyrics really fit, too! I still get choked up every time I hear it and it's not a downer type melody either, but whoa, once you figure out the lyrics, it sneaks up on you. I miss him terribly and I wish he had told me what he was going to do because I could have said goodbye and told him it was okay, I understood he had to do that. I would not have stopped him, he was in so much pain, it was hard to watch. But as a friend pointed out, he likely tried to spare me by not saying anything so I didn't have the burden of wondering if I could have stopped him. It's interesting, too, that what she said sounds so much like what he'd do. Anyway, I can never listen to that song now without getting verklempt and thinking of him.
Mar 12, 2:05 pm
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
There is a country song about a man driving the truck of a lost loved one when he misses them. I just got my husband's truck out of the shop tonight and took it for a ride. That song came on...

I admit I was bawling so hard I had to pull ... More
God, I bet that felt good to do.

To just get in the truck and ride like that, scream like that. Screaming is so cathartic to me.

A few weeks ago when I felt really down and out, I got in my car and Beyonce's song Halo was just ending. That song has always kind of spoken to me, but I was upset about my relationship and the words felt so true. Directly after it Adore You by Miley Cyrus came on and I was in tears. My drive home from work is only about 6 minutes long.

I could hardly see the road, but it was so true. "When you say you love me, know I love you more. When you say you need me, know I need you more." That's how I feel. The song isn't meant to be about imbalance in a relationship, but the way it felt to me was that. When I got home, I found the song on youtube on my phone and sent him the link. I don't even know if he listened to it.
Mar 12, 3:27 pm
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by wrecklesswords
God, I bet that felt good to do.

To just get in the truck and ride like that, scream like that. Screaming is so cathartic to me.

A few weeks ago when I felt really down and out, I got in my car and Beyonce's song Halo was just ... More
It was cathartic-to a point. There is something about the power and sound of a 1 ton diesel revving, our memories of every road trip and the smell of his truck (leather, diesel, fresh sawdust and his smell) that really comforted me. I also get soooo much satisfaction and emotions out when I put the pedal down, part of the adrenaline junkie side of me.

I am too scared to ride the dirtbike right now--one crack of the throttle and I would literally fly into my own oblivion. I am just very thankful my friend is letting me rip up her pasture with our truck...gotta stop doing that pretty soon or I will need new tires to go with our new transmission.
Mar 13, 8:37 am
Missy27 Missy27
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
There is a country song about a man driving the truck of a lost loved one when he misses them. I just got my husband's truck out of the shop tonight and took it for a ride. That song came on...

I admit I was bawling so hard I had to pull ... More
I just had to say that your post brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing. There are several song that I relate to and it's part of the reason I love music so much. Thanks again and I am glad you had a moment of healing. Hugs!
Mar 13, 9:43 am
edeneve edeneve
anger is very normal. don't bottle it up or it will come out in other ways. just be sure you keep your safety & others always in your mind. the world is a better place for you being in it! hugs hugs contact me.
Mar 13, 4:31 pm
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Unique posters: 5