I'm a feminist, why aren't you ?

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I don't recall anyone on here being against feminism. I recall people being against militant feminism, as you point out, but not actual feminism.

The main thing that, to me, makes feminists look bad is the mantra "every man is a potential rapist" and the idea that no woman would ever lie about being raped. Yes, some men are scumbag rapists, but most aren't. Just as some women are scumbag false-rape accusers, but most aren't.

It looks like feminism in America has a long way to go, when contraception as a civil right is still up for negotiation. I don't think it's as important here in England. Most of the big battles are over.

I'm a feminist!

I think, like every movement, feminism has had its share of bad press because of a handful of really radical feminists who don't really represent the aims of most feminists (who are purely interested in equality).

Most women especially do not like it when I tell them while my husband and I are absolute equals i an the type of person who is happy being barefoot pregnant and in the kitchen. I often defer to his judgement and this is what I want to do, not what I have to do.

I am a feminist, but I don't like to be labeled as anything. I share a lot of their values, but I am by no means an extreme feminist. I am not active in feminist activities, but I am not really active in anything. I should get more involved, maybe one day.

Feminism to me has always been a "women power!" type of movement. The feminists I have known always want to talk about how empowering it is to be female, how wonderful it is that we can birth children, and any other selection of things that make women oh so great. I'm happy to be a woman, but mostly because I can flirt my way out of things. So that's very anti-feminist of me, I suppose. I guess I'm setting the women's movement back every time I bat my eyelashes. That, however, is empowering to me.

In general, I believe that women should have the same amount of rights and ability to make choices as everyone else. I don't think that males and females are equal in all regards. Most guys aren't as nurturing (not saying all, but many) to children. Thus, women play the mother role. My husband works in construction (he operates a crane). They hire women sometimes and he says most of them can't handle the lifting requirements. He says the ones they hire to operate machinery are often no good at it. I'm sure some women would be great at that, but perhaps not as high of percent of women as men would be. Women tend to be more sensitive in general as well, and thus are better suited than men at things that require sensitivity and understanding. Again, not that men can't be or that women can't be heartless, just that there's a majority trend in the other direction. There's lots of differences that are pretty prominent between the two sexes. I think ignoring these differences for "equality" is silly. If you have a strength, play to that strength. If you're a sensitive person, trying to do a job or task that requires otherwise will be frustrating. And for the record, I'm less sensitive than many females I know.

My problem with feminism is usually brought to light when other women look down their nose at me over my choice to stay at home. And even more so when they realize that I don't have any children and have no intention or desire to have children. Boy, that really boils their blood.

I was a feminist in nearly every sense of the word. I was part of the "Second Founding" of Ms magazine. I yelled and protested. I consider myself "Post Feminist" now.

I do not like the way 2nd Wave Feminism treated mothers and children. All the talk is "feminism is allowing women to make the choices they choose." As long as those choices include wanting a high power career (not JOB, career) and putting one's children, if one even bothers to have them, into daycare. Also, the thought that most mothers feel their own children are an afterthought or simply an ornament to their otherwise busy lives, that someone else could raise just as well, while they are doing more "important" things with their time bothers the hell out of me. When I was home with my kids, NOTHING was more important.

Also, the biological specificity of breastfeeding is completely ignored by many 2nd Wave and 1st Wave feminists. The whole idea that men and women are interchangeable for all tasks irks me. We usually aren't. I can't carry a 180 man down a ladder to save him from a fire and my husband can't breastfeed an infant. That doesn't mean either of us is better than the other, just different.

Also, when my husband and I discovered the Dominant/submissive side to our relationship, a lot of my thinking changed.

I don't mind being home with kids, or working part time while they are in school. I like doing "female" things. I love my career, but if I had to, I'd give it up in a second if my children or my man needed me to.

I'm glad we have access to safe birth control (well, most of the time WHY are we still arguing about this issue in 2012?) and that some women are able to make a living wage (most are still underpaid, get on the stick, feminists, you've had 100 years, for heaven's sake!) and that we have the "right" to vote. But, so much of what life means to so many of us has been left behind in the race to be "just like men." I don't WANT to be a man. I want to be a happy woman!

I think a lot of what it means to be a woman was left out of the definition in 1st and 2nd Wave Feminism and I can't reconcile those contradictions with the way I want to live my life, as a woman, a wife, a mother and sometimes as a sub. Most heavy duty feminists don't get that at all. There aren't any 50/50 D/s or M/S relationships: that's a contradiction in terms.

I'm a militant feminist. People don't like it, often. Oh well. Poop to them!

Also, I don't believe in this false binaries crap.

Feminism too often seems to just be a guise for misandry.

I prefer egalitarianism.

There is a difference between being a feminist and femnazi. When I have a friend try and rank on it I tell them this, it lets them think.

Yes, it seems people automatically think "femnazi" when they hear the word "feminism" (because believing in equality/human rights/opposing oppression is similar to invading Poland?).

The loudest spoken feminists who dare call themselves feminists are generally the really radical ones, which would be why so many people tend to shy away from that label. I've heard alternatives; "humanist" and "womynist", but they all seem to be preaching the same basic things. Oppression is bad, don't marginalize people, equal work for equal pay, one sex is not superior to the other, along with many other similar underlying concepts.

There's a sticker on the back of my laptop that says, "This is what a feminist looks like," if that tells you anything about me personally.

I think that a lot--possibly most--people don't understand that there isn't one feminist "movement." There are huge differences of opinions within the feminist community over issues like whether gender differences exist, whether porn is degrading, whether child-rearing is detrimental to women's position, etc, etc. Granted, there are a few core beliefs that you probably have to subscribe to if you want to be taken seriously as a feminist--if you think that women shouldn't work outside the home, shouldn't be able to vote, shouldn't have access to birth control, and so on, it's hard to defend your beliefs from a feminist perspective. But there's no litmus test, and I think if people realized this, and realized just how much diversity there is within the feminist community, they might be less reluctant to apply the label to themselves.

I'll use myself as an example. It's only been within the last 2 to 3 years that I've become comfortable calling myself a feminist, and it was precisely for the reasons I've already mentioned. My opinions don't necessarily mesh with what's perceived as the feminist line. I enjoy porn, although I do think that some (but certainly not all) has a negative effect on the way women are viewed. I think there are gender differences between the sexes (for a really interesting perspective on this, I'd suggest reading up on the "ethics of care"), but that society tends to distort and exaggerate them. I think women should be allowed to work wherever they choose--whether that means at home or at a job--but I also think that men should take a more active role in child-rearing (many already do, but there's room for improvement). And so on. The point is, while I may not agree with the beliefs of everyone who calls herself (or himself) a feminist, I think it's important to use the word if you honestly feel that women's position in society needs some work.

To be honest, the absolute rancor you see directed at feminists surprises and upsets me. While I may not agree with hard-line "separatist" feminists, I personally know of very few of them, and I can't help but feel that there is a kneejerk and, to be blunt, sexist tendency to paint all women who speak out as "radicals." I've had interactions with members of men's rights groups that I went into in good faith, thinking that some of the issues they are concerned with (e.g. child-rearing) are pretty bound up in feminist concerns, and I was absolutely shouted down for being a man-hater, no matter what I said, or how calmly I said it. It was extremely disheartening.

In any case, I could talk about this for a LONG time, so I'll stop now. But if any one ever wants to chat about it, I'd be happy too--just PM me. I've volunteered with women's rights organizations and part of what I'm studying involves women's studies, so while I may not be an expert, I like to think I know my way around the subject fairly well

Eh, I'm a human being who works with what I have in a society that likes to label and sort because it's comfortable doing so.

Everyone considers me a "feminist" because I work, am an intellectual, use birth control, practice equal treatment among everyone, chose not to have children, aren't afraid of being independent, and willingly divorced my husband because the marriage wasn't working out - all because I happened to have been born female. A guy would be called a "Responsible Gentleman" for making the same choices.

I'd be considered a "slave to the patriarchy" by these same people if they knew I was a sub in the bedroom. Just that one facet of my personality seems to determine where I stand in their eyes.

Fuck 'em. I'm Me.

Not the greatest fan of the fact that you assumed that no-one on here is a feminist (or at least, that's what your post title sounded like). I'm definitely a feminist (and a pretty radical one at that - if you want to label it as such), and I'd be willing to bet that there are plenty of others on here.

It is a shame that "feminist" is considered a dirty word, and I definitely think that a reclamation is in order. I don't understand what makes people so squeamish about the term. I suppose because people tend to think that feminism is this one, big, man-hating thing. Only ugly lesbians are feminists, I think I've heard that one before (absolutely ridiculous, of course). I've actually had people say to me, "Oh, don't call yourself that," when I mentioned that I call myself a feminist.

I have theories as to why this is, or why there's hatred against feminism in general. But I don't pretend to fully understand it. I don't think it's possible to. Just so long as we continue to work against it, as we would against any other sort of issue that holds back a given people group.

I'm a feminist. I know guys usually don't use that term so I would like to point out that I'm not trying to be ironic there but I wholeheartedly support feminism, ie equal rights, pay, social standing for both men and women.

I have no problem calling myself a feminist.

I'm all for equal rights. When a woman commits the same crime as a man and gets the exact same punishment, then I will be happy.



I can think of at least 3 huge stories in the last few years when a woman went absolutely off her rocker and did some horrible stuff and only got a couple years.

A man in the exact same situation would have received multiple life sentences.



My point is this: You want equality, take equality across the board.