I need some sister In-Law advice...I think she's a compulsive liar...

nolongerhere nolongerhere
So my soon to be sister-in-law is driving me crazy! She seems to make up lie after lie, exaggerate her life experiences and talks down to me even though I am a much more well-rounded person and actually accomplish the goals/experiences I talk about...She lies about her degree, her college, her work (she claims she went to NYU, but has no degree, claims she is 4 credits from a masters degree but has no bachelors, and claims she is fluent in 4 languages) We had a family dinner and she didn't stop talking about herself the entire time.

I would love to be able to call her on her lies, but many are impossible to prove/disprove. Do you think i should just ignore her and keep being the bigger person even though she pushes every button? Or should I be more aggressive so she knows I won't tolerate her disrespectful lies?

Grrrr, I just need some feedback! What do you think is the most appropriate thing to do? Part of me wants to keep the peace, but the other wants to stick my foot in her mouth so she'll be quiet...
11/22/2010
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El-Jaro El-Jaro
I know a guy like this. If you total all of his stories, he has 2 glass eyes, a titanium hip (or two), and is a former black belt/physics prof at UC Berkley...he even changed his name to Logan...not legally.

Best advice: Do nothing, but remember all her stories. When something contradicts, ask for clarification or more detail...and then repeat it all back to them.
11/22/2010
Envy Envy
I dealt with a friend like this. I ended up ignoring them and then just cutting them out of my life. Eventually they gave up on trying to be 'better' than me and moved on.
11/22/2010
SexyTabby SexyTabby
I have a few sister-in-laws two of which are steady liars. One I simply can't stand and ignore because she is in another state and I don't have to deal with her. The other two I selectively attack lol. If they do or say something ignorant that I know to be wrong I have no issues with laying it all on the line and shutting em down. Doesn't phase me at all mainly because I have no desire to be close to them and if the guys were that stupid to marry such trash I don't care what they think of reality. If I'm wrong on things I expect to be showed the right way (never happen with these dingbats - they bring a whole new meaning to stupid!) Now on rare occasions I know I need to be polite in front of other company and I'll simply remove myself from the ignorance zone. So yeah I select when and where to pick my battles.
11/22/2010
Avant-garde Avant-garde
I like what Sexy tabby said, but I it were me I would just ignore the person and remind me self that I am above all that.
11/22/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by nolongerhere
So my soon to be sister-in-law is driving me crazy! She seems to make up lie after lie, exaggerate her life experiences and talks down to me even though I am a much more well-rounded person and actually accomplish the goals/experiences I talk ... More
I have a hard time holding back and it always gets me in trouble. Just sit back and watch it all unravel. The truth will out. Always does.
11/22/2010
Victoria Victoria
I feel ya! My sister-in-law is a total selfish bitch with a superiority complex and loooooves to gossip to family about each other. It used to make my husband and I fight...and honestly, it is SO not worth it. I don't have to prove to anyone that she is who she is. Fuck her. Let her keep playing her little games and falling all over herself to seek attention and prey upon the sympathies of others. I don't put effort into that relationship anymore. I don't think about it. I don't really talk about it. I don't count on her or need her for anything. It does not affect us anymore. Because we chose to just disconnect ourselves from the drama.

As for YOUR situation, people are not as stupid as they may seem... I am betting others know she is a liar and are humoring her, RexyRN. Just treat her like a ridiculous and pathetic person who has no bearing on your life. It will all catch up with her. Live your life. Don't let her make you crazy. You can't fix her and you should not try.
11/22/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I feel ya! My sister-in-law is a total selfish bitch with a superiority complex and loooooves to gossip to family about each other. It used to make my husband and I fight...and honestly, it is SO not worth it. I don't have to prove to anyone that ... More
I have to agree with Victoria. Avoid this person as much as possible, don't give her antics any more attention than they deserve, which is none. She likely behaves this way in an effort to garner more attention for herself. The very best response to this is to give as little attention as possible.

I am sure you are not the only person in the family who knows what kind of person she really is and karma has a way of catching up with those who deserve it.
11/22/2010
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Oh man. Do I know how you feel. For me it is a step sister. She is this pathological liar that does everything she can to make up one bull shit story after another in attempt to make those that are truly better than she is seem not so great.

Because of her and her bull shit my mother with have nothing to do with my man. She refuses to believe anything but what the step sister says because her mother (my moms wife) believes it to be true and says her daughter would not lie.

I have proved she is full of it and they still will not accept him. they nod and change the subject. It has caused a serious rift in the relationship my mom and i have.

I have washed my hands of her. I will not speak to her. I see her often at parties and I simply walk the other way. I wont even acknowledge her with a polite hello. The only time I have to be in the same room as her is on Xmas morning and I will not speak to her the entire time.
11/22/2010
nolongerhere nolongerhere
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I know a guy like this. If you total all of his stories, he has 2 glass eyes, a titanium hip (or two), and is a former black belt/physics prof at UC Berkley...he even changed his name to Logan...not legally.

Best advice: Do nothing, but ... More
Ha! The list would be HUGE! off the top of my head... Her aunt owns the world's biggest Newfoundland dog (280 pounds!!!) and she has been an executive chef, and writes historical romances (about women with celiac disease?) for penguin. She can't drive since she gets so motion sick, but LOVES the NYC subway! Also, she has chronic fatigue syndrome ( so she can't work weekends), celiac disease (although she loves cake) and had stage 4 (!!) ovarian cancer!

It just makes me sick that she makes up all these illnesses that real people struggle with all the time!
11/22/2010
nolongerhere nolongerhere
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
I have to agree with Victoria. Avoid this person as much as possible, don't give her antics any more attention than they deserve, which is none. She likely behaves this way in an effort to garner more attention for herself. The very best response ... More
IT's just to frustrating because my mother in law is a peace keeper it's punishing her when I don't come to dinner, so I can't always avoid the shitster-in law . When I don't speak to her and be polite, they say I'm being rude...I really can't win... I boycotted family dinner for 3 months this year to avoid her already.
11/22/2010
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Quote:
Originally posted by nolongerhere
Ha! The list would be HUGE! off the top of my head... Her aunt owns the world's biggest Newfoundland dog (280 pounds!!!) and she has been an executive chef, and writes historical romances (about women with celiac disease?) for penguin. She ... More
wow! That is crazy. I would offer her some cake, and ask her after she eats it how the gluten tasted LOL
11/22/2010
nolongerhere nolongerhere
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
wow! That is crazy. I would offer her some cake, and ask her after she eats it how the gluten tasted LOL
She knows it has gluten, but says she has a "mild" form where she can eat what she wants...I don't buy it though. Any time you contradict her lies she makes another one to allow her previous lie to somehow be possible! It's mind boggling!
11/22/2010
Jessica Elizabeth Jessica Elizabeth
Quote:
Originally posted by nolongerhere
So my soon to be sister-in-law is driving me crazy! She seems to make up lie after lie, exaggerate her life experiences and talks down to me even though I am a much more well-rounded person and actually accomplish the goals/experiences I talk ... More
Oh gods do I know someone like that too! She also has had stage 4 ovarian cancer (fake of course) and actually made her young children go to a fake funeral. Then she complained when they didn't cry and make a scene. Thankfully my friend who is the father of one of the children is taking steps to remove him from the situation. Anyway, on to your situation....

1 - I'm so sorry you have to deal with someone like that.
2 - Have you spoken to your fiance about her, how it's making you feel and so forth? Joining a family creates such unique situations. I'm kind of in the middle; remember the stories, but I wouldn't call her out on it unless it becomes physically threatening, or like in the situation I spoke about; endangers a child or another person.

The thing about actually engaging someone like her in a debate is that they are so very good with lies and word games that they can contradict everything you say and come up with a new lie to make it plausible.

They do it only for attention; and by getting up in her face you are giving her attention. Especially if you start it, it will make her the victim.

I'd bide my time and talk to your fiance. Make sure he knows how it is causing you to feel and see if he has any advice for dealing with her. Also, I'd bring up to him just how much it's making you not want to go to family functions.

I hope you can get this resolved *hugs*
11/22/2010
nolongerhere nolongerhere
Quote:
Originally posted by Jessica Elizabeth
Oh gods do I know someone like that too! She also has had stage 4 ovarian cancer (fake of course) and actually made her young children go to a fake funeral. Then she complained when they didn't cry and make a scene. Thankfully my friend who is ... More
Thankfully my husband can't stand her either and it doesn't cause friction in our relationship. It's actually his brother's fiance, so I am unwillingly becoming related to her and their family is so close it is impossible to stay out of her path of destruction.

Your point about about her being so good at lying is right on! SHe is really smart, and she is very good at twisting words and convincing people who just met her that she is so worldly and charming. It just irritates me that she takes over every family function with her stories and then tries to manipulate my mother in law and I's relationship.

I have been ignoring her and I think the best remedy is just to ignore and laugh on the inside. Everyone is so right, her true colors will come out!
11/22/2010
PassionQT PassionQT
I had a friend who was married to a compulsive liar. He was actually diagnosed as one. He would make up all sorts of stories and tell his family, her, etc.. Eventually she couldn't take it anymore and they divorced, but they stay in touch because they have a child together.

More than likely, she needs help or is wanting attention. But, I would leave that to her immediate family to handle. Just ignore it, say "oh, that's nice". I would be afraid that if you tried to call her on something that she would deny she ever said that to you and make you look bad.
11/22/2010
nolongerhere nolongerhere
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionQT
I had a friend who was married to a compulsive liar. He was actually diagnosed as one. He would make up all sorts of stories and tell his family, her, etc.. Eventually she couldn't take it anymore and they divorced, but they stay in touch ... More
I think this is true, responding in general is giving her attention.
11/22/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by nolongerhere
So my soon to be sister-in-law is driving me crazy! She seems to make up lie after lie, exaggerate her life experiences and talks down to me even though I am a much more well-rounded person and actually accomplish the goals/experiences I talk ... More
I would love to talk to this person! I hate when people do this and I know quite a few of them. They like to be a chameleon and change their story and personality so people like them, probably because no one would actually like who they are because they don't like who they are either.

"The more you lie, the more you have to remember."- Mark Twain

If it were me I wouldn't go out of my way to shut this person up and look like a jerk face to the family but I wouldn't let them think I'm a gullible idiot who believes the shit either. So for example...if I know one of the languages they supposedly speak, I'd start speaking it to them. Make them bite on their own tongue so to speak...
11/22/2010
Jessica Elizabeth Jessica Elizabeth
Quote:
Originally posted by nolongerhere
Thankfully my husband can't stand her either and it doesn't cause friction in our relationship. It's actually his brother's fiance, so I am unwillingly becoming related to her and their family is so close it is impossible to stay out ... More
It's good to see that you're on the same terms with it as your fiance. And that's too bad that his brother is getting so involved with someone like that. Hopefully he will see her true colors soon enough.

Your plan to ignore is the best. You can ignore her then bitch about her in the car home Her true colors will shine through soon enough. If it's bad enough maybe you could get her banned from your family gatherings lol
11/23/2010
Total posts: 19
Unique posters: 12