Is it offensive to women...........?

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Is it offensive to women...........?

jmex83 jmex83
I was wondering. My wife says that getting her stuff that would help "improve" our sex life for her birthday or christmas or as a gift in general would seem offensive to her like Im trying to "hint" that she needs help in a certain area.

I was looking at some of the massage books and she said "Oh, well, Do I NEED help in that area?"

Hell, I was just wanting to explore other options LMAO....But yeah, got the "look" for that one.

Was that wrong or is she overreacting a bit?
03/15/2012
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RavenWings RavenWings
It depends on how it's presented.

However, in the case of the massage books, buy one without her knowing and read up on it. Then give her a massage with your new moves. When she inquires or raves about your skills mention you got a book on it because you wanted to learn more, This is an easy way to introduce books.

Otherwise, it depends on what your buying. If you say you think she would love it and you want to please her, perhaps she will relent.

All women are different and hell knows many of us are self conscious. It's not a personal thing against you, it's probably something internal going on.

Good Luck!
03/15/2012
js250 js250
No. It has nothing to do with right and wrong, everything to do with the other person's security level and feelings of approaching changes sexually. Think about it from the other person's point of view. If she bought a book on how to orgasm during penetration, how would you feel? If she approached it from a "lets see what else is out there" point of view, would you feel better? It is all in the presentation. No one wants to feel like they are lacking sexually.......
03/16/2012
Ghost Ghost
I don't think it's offensive to women, in general. It might be offensive to CERTAIN PEOPLE.
03/16/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Quote:
Originally posted by jmex83
I was wondering. My wife says that getting her stuff that would help "improve" our sex life for her birthday or christmas or as a gift in general would seem offensive to her like Im trying to "hint" that she needs help in a ...
I wouldn't get offended.
03/16/2012
funluvinmama funluvinmama
I wouldnt be offended. I actually think that extra help with the sex life would be great to keep things new and exciting.
03/16/2012
lilly555 lilly555
Maybe you're wife is just taking it like she said, that you're not okay with whatever she's doing now. Try a different approach by maybe saying what she's doing it just fine but maybe we can add versitility. Or you can purchase it for yourself (if it's a book) use it on her (who wouldn't love that?) and see if maybe she'd like to try to. As for other items on here I suppose it depends on the person. I personally would love to get gifts that spice things up.
03/16/2012
gloomybear gloomybear
i will admit when my fiancee brought home a book called "how to tickle his pickle" i was offended at first but he got better at talking about things with me and it made me feel more confident in informing him about areas he needed to work on lol
03/16/2012
K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by jmex83
I was wondering. My wife says that getting her stuff that would help "improve" our sex life for her birthday or christmas or as a gift in general would seem offensive to her like Im trying to "hint" that she needs help in a ...
Well she may take big pride in her massaging skills! However, I probably wouldn't be offended unless my partner tried buying makeup! Lol. That's because he's always begging me not to wear it and saying "you know what would make you even more beautiful?" and I say "What?!" He says "wearing zero makeup!" Ha. So if he were to actually buy it for me, I'd be scared! Lol. She may have just been joking when she said that. A lot of people joke that way, but what did you say? You may have actually made her think she really did a bad job at massaging.
03/16/2012
jmex83 jmex83
Quote:
Originally posted by jmex83
I was wondering. My wife says that getting her stuff that would help "improve" our sex life for her birthday or christmas or as a gift in general would seem offensive to her like Im trying to "hint" that she needs help in a ...
thanks for the insight everyone. sometimes i lack finesse when it comes to saying or doing things, so its hard to know if im going to come off as a jerk or not lol.
03/16/2012
Interesante Interesante
I think it depends on the situation and the gift.

Getting her a book on massage would be a bad idea, because to her it might send the message that you want her to learn how to massage to please YOU... Which isn't as bad if you just bring it up randomly, but in giving it to her for her birthday/Christmas, you're basically hinting that you were more thinking about yourself, since the only person (I assume) she would be using her new skills on would be you.

I'd imagine it's the same as getting her a something like a vacuum cleaner or a cleaning supplies or something. Basically it sends the message that 'I couldn't think of something that you would personally like as a gift and I want you to clean the floor more often, so here, take this'.

Or at least that would be my take on the subject.
03/17/2012
cryinglightning86 cryinglightning86
I don't think it's offensive to women in general, but maybe there's an underlying issue with your wife as to why this upset her?
07/16/2012
G&L G&L
I don't think it's a gender thing as much as an individual or relationship thing.
07/16/2012
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 12