Is sex mutual in your relationship?

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Is sex mutual in your relationship?

AshMegYo AshMegYo
Usually the only time we have sex is when he wants it. If I say I want it or something I get turned down. Every. Single. Time. Either that or I get, "yeah I'll give it to you" and all that ever happens is giving him oral. It puts me in the worst mood. It seems so petty to get so upset over but it really pisses me off that everything sexual revolves around him. We barely have sex unless it's because he wants to. Honestly, we have sex once (maybe twice) every other weekend. (He's in the army and stationed 2 hours away so he comes home every other weekend.)
Do you just flat out demand it or how do you deal with it? Should I just shut my mouth and stop caring? Sex isn't everything, I know, but I do have needs as well.
06/22/2012
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Mwar Mwar
Communication is key. Talk to him about it. It's important to you, so it should be important to him.

My guy can have a bit of this too. If he wants it, cool, if I do... it's like "maybe, I dunno, later, etc."

I used to get annoyed, but I think I figured it out. This is just my own experience, so take what you will.

It appears you have the higher drive since you don't turn him down and you initiate. I would say, turn him down. Sure, you want to, but don't. Now I'm not saying to turn him down to get revenge or get back at him. I'm suggesting this more for him to realize it's not always going to be a yes when he wants sex. Say you're tired or not feeling it. Tell him maybe later.

Later on, see if he's into it. Suggest, see if he changes his response. This doesn't really increase the amount of sex you have, but it changes who's the initiator and you can move that ratio a bit.

I'm not an expert, but hope that helps
06/22/2012
ghent529 ghent529
I agree Communication! Sit down and have a serious talk with him. or Before he gets home (if you live alone) Put something sexy, or nothing on and greet him at the door.

But honestly he has a very stressful job, so maybe it's just in a hump that has to do with stresses of his job.
06/22/2012
CaliGirl CaliGirl
Very mutual
07/12/2012
spookycutie spookycutie
He initiates it way more than me, which is something we've fought over quite a bit in the past.

When I do initiate sex, he sometimes says no...but always changes his mind after 2 minutes.
07/12/2012
g- g-
Sex and relationships are about give and take, but I would say that actions speak louder than words. So I would say nothing and seduce him.

Turn on a movie put a blanket across your lap and then ask him to go get you something. He comes back and you could be naked under the blanket and just start snugglng.lol. let him he surprised when he puts his hands, legs or whatever under the blanket.

Another solution is if he rejects you is to pull out your vibrator and don't hide what you are doing with it. They usually get turned on and take over. If he doesn't want to join it still sends the message that you really do have needs.

If something like that doesn't work then talk to him. Tell him that you have needs too. If he isn't willing to play ball then shut down the stadium. It isn't fair for you to have to cater to him.

The other question you should ask is wether he has an STD? His lack of interest could be because of an outbreak.
07/12/2012
Oliver Gray Oliver Gray
Quote:
Originally posted by AshMegYo
Usually the only time we have sex is when he wants it. If I say I want it or something I get turned down. Every. Single. Time. Either that or I get, "yeah I'll give it to you" and all that ever happens is giving him oral. It puts me in ...
We're always horny :3
07/12/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Yep, though she's more vocal about her desires
07/13/2012
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 8