joke sharing

this joke from a friend of mine:

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Share one of your favorite jokes below. less

this joke from a friend of mine:

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Share one of your favorite jokes below. less

The only dirty joke I ever tell, so here goes.......

A newlywed couple get married and the bride tells her new husband "I love you so much, I'll do anything you want" He replies "I want a blow job!" She responds "oh no, I could never do that you won't respect me" To this he responds "Baby I love you I will always respect you!" But she still says no.

1st anniversary, 5th anniversary, 10th anniversary, 20th anniversary the conversation is always the same.

Finally after 30 years of marriage she says " We have been married all this time and I still love you just as much. What can I do for you?" he says "all this time I have always answered I want a blow job, you know I'll respect you, please can I have a blow job" She finally agrees and delivers him a blow job.

When they are finished the phone rings and he gets up to answer it, she waits in the bed as he answers and she hears him say from the other room......"the phones for you.....cock sucker!"

I know terrible!!!! Hahahaha, but it's all I got!! less

this joke from a friend of mine:

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Share one of your favorite jokes below. less

Funny stuff!

My Man likes to tell "Offensive jokes." (So, if you're easily "offended" don't read them.)

Q: Why do women have such small feet? A: So they can get close to the stove.

Q: Why doesn't your wife need a watch? A: There's a clock on the stove, dummy.

Q: What is the definition of "making love?" A: It's something a woman does when a man is fucking her. less

A man came home from work to find his wife packing her bags. "Where are you going?" he asked her.

"I'm moving to Las Vegas," she said, "In Vegas, I've heard I can get $500.00 for what I do for you for free."

The man starts packing his bags, too.

"What do you think you're doing?" The wife asks him.

He replies, "I'm coming with you. I want to see how you're going to live on $1,000.00 a year."

An other one
A new married couple checked into a hotel on their honeymoon. The desk clerk asked the husband, "Do you have any reservations?"

"Only one" said the husband, "She won't do anal." less

this joke from a friend of mine:

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Share one of your favorite jokes below. less

A man came home from work to find his wife packing her bags. "Where are you going?" he asked her.

"I'm moving to Las Vegas," she said, "In Vegas, I've heard I can get $500.00 for what I do for you for free."

The man starts packing his bags, too.

"What do you think you're doing?" The wife asks him.

He replies, "I'm coming with you. I want to see how you're going to live on $1,000.00 a year."

An other one
A new married couple checked into a hotel on their honeymoon. The desk clerk asked the husband, "Do you have any reservations?"

"Only one" said the husband, "She won't do anal." less

The only dirty joke I ever tell, so here goes.......

A newlywed couple get married and the bride tells her new husband "I love you so much, I'll do anything you want" He replies "I want a blow job!" She responds "oh no, I could never do that you won't respect me" To this he responds "Baby I love you I will always respect you!" But she still says no.

1st anniversary, 5th anniversary, 10th anniversary, 20th anniversary the conversation is always the same.

Finally after 30 years of marriage she says " We have been married all this time and I still love you just as much. What can I do for you?" he says "all this time I have always answered I want a blow job, you know I'll respect you, please can I have a blow job" She finally agrees and delivers him a blow job.

When they are finished the phone rings and he gets up to answer it, she waits in the bed as he answers and she hears him say from the other room......"the phones for you.....cock sucker!"

I know terrible!!!! Hahahaha, but it's all I got!! less