My Father has had it rough. He carries a lot of guilt about his drinking and even deeper things that he had no control over. I blame his misinterpreted view of Catholicism. He has TONS of Catholic guilt.
He loves me, I know he loves me, he has told me he loves me, but he is not a very loving person on a day to day basis. He doesn't know how to be, and doesn't seem interested in learning. To learn how to love, a person must begin to love his/herself, and for all that I adore my Daddy he doesn't like
himself let alone love himself.
My Mother is also equally damaged and must have all the attention, love, and approval so she has lied, and cheated both my Father and I out of the relationship we could have had. Now he is not blameless because his behavior, in part has created this soul sucking need my Mother carries with her. Competing with a beer bottle is a lose/lose scenario and I have come to terms with what shaped and drives her.
I love both my parents and I wish they could get healthy. I wish we could be a real family...not a sit-com moment. I would gladly take the bad with the good, if there was any chance it could be good.
As it stands I have no relationship with my Father that isn't adversarial and we both wish that could change. Only one of us is willing to do the work to make the change, so we are both still waiting.