Leave him, or stick by his side..what would you do

Stay with him until DEATH--not missing limbs or memories or health--do you part. I can't even IMAGINE turning my back on someone who needs me most, especially if it were my HUSBAND.

Stay, stay, stay! And believe that love can heal.

If you have support from your church, I would reach out to them. Marriage vows are with God, no poll should change that. Seek help from your community and they will give you strength during these tough times. It is easy to say "I give up' rather than stick through the test. Good luck, your EF community is here to give you as much moral support as you need!

I thought this would be about a guy cheating and whether or not the girl should stay!!!!

If my man was ill/or handicapped in anyway I would stay with him bcs my love for him surpasses these things. My love might not surpass unfaithfulness but these things are not on my list of reasons to leave my man.

I am happy that you followed your heart and your feelings and decided to detatch yourself from this friend who seemed to be unhelpful for you.

I kind of doubt anybody here would advocate leaving a man in need, whom you love! Eden is filled with passionate, compassionate, loving people, and I doubt you will hear anything but support for your decision.

People IRL say stupid things all the time. I was told by an now EX friend, that I should abort my last baby, (I was pregnant in my 30s) because, "You are going to have one of those mongoloid children, and it will grow up to be a burden on society." Our friendship pretty much ended that day. I didn't even ASK her what I should do (I knew, My Man and I wanted that baby, even though she was a surprise) she just blurted out her sick opinion.

People who refuse to understand LOVE, and are so selfish that they want YOU to act as self centered and mean as they do don't deserve a place on your personal, reali life "friend" list.

Oh my goodness god bless you and your husband. That's a very touch situation for anyone to be in and very emotionally. I know im with my partner because I love them dearly and I would love him no matter what happened. Stay strong and best wishes to you both

Wow, what? I really can't understand why any "friend" would say that.

First of all, he's the person you love. End of debate, imo. If my partner was wounded, hurt or had any problem, I could NOT imagine leaving him - ever. In my opinion, being half of a partnership means that there are times you will be his support, and times he will be yours - sure this may show that you're going to be his for quite some time now - but from the sounds of things he'd have done the same for you if it were to have happened the opposite way around. I have to admit I am really shocked by her attitude.

I just wanted to add that I wish you both the best of luck for the very best and speediest recovery possible, and for the happiest possible lives together, you both deserve it xx

First, I wish the both of you all blessing in the world and hope for a great recovery. And second, you should be with him if you love him and care for him. My best friend is in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, because he was shot in the war. And his girlfriend left him as soon as she heard about it. I love this man with all my heart (He shares it with my boyfriend ). Yes, he can't raise his pants anymore, yes he can't pleasure a women with his hands, and yes he can't hug anyone. But he is still human.

I am so sorry that your husband was severely wounded. It's wonderful that you are determined to stay with him, but unlike what some others have said, it shouldn't just be because you are married with him or that you made a vow. It should be because you love him, you can accept the fact that he has been severely wounded, and you are willing to stay with him and continue to live with him as before with a few adjustments to your lifestyle. Your friend WAS pretty terrible to say what she said to you.

However, not everyone can cope with that magnitude of physical injury in their partner. It would be wonderful if we were all perfect human beings who behaved in the "correct" way every single time, but I don't know anyone like that. I'm sure there are people whose spouses were severely injured like your husband was, and who just couldn't deal with it. I don't think it's a matter of "loving him/her/pronoun of choice enough", but that person's own limit. It's amazing that you are that strong, but not everyone is, and we shouldn't judge someone simply because she isn't as strong as you are.

Personally, I don't know what I would do if that happened to my boyfriend. I'd like to think that I am strong enough to bear that emotional and physical burden. I want to be strong enough to stay with him even though he is severely injured. But you don't know what losing something is until you've lost it. With some situations, you can't predict how you will react or what you will decide until you are actually IN that situation. We all want to think we will act nobly in the face of adversity, but that doesn't always happen.

Again, your husband should be grateful that you are strong enough to stay with him. But that doesn't mean that we should look down upon others who aren't that strong. We can totally look down on your friend though, for being cruel to you when what you needed was support.

I'd stay with my wife no matter what.

From the people I know who have had things happen to their spouse requiring major care definitely make sure you get support. On the plus side, military communities are pretty tight, but you do need to have some way to get some time off, especially in the first few years, and people who know what you're going through to be support emotionally.

Caring for someone is difficult whether it is a friend, parent, relative...or spouse...but it's a task that shows true commitment. You can figure out sex, and his injuries will heal, and as long as you are both patient and loving you will find happiness together. Your "friend" seems pretty shallow if she thinks this can't work well for you. Stick with him and continue being the wonderful person you are.

I'm sorry to here that about your husband. I know that it must be really tough. My wife and I didn't go through something quite as bad, but not too far off when I came back from Iraq. I had to have a long series of major abdominal surgeries. She stuck with me even though she had to take care of me completely. I couldn't do much for myself at all. But it was her love and caring that got me through what I went through. Now I'm about as good as ever, though its been a long road over the past three years. Stay as strong as you can, and get rid of any friend who acts like that. With friends like that who needs enemies.

Definitely stay

Your friend was very wrong. I'm glad you decided to stay with your husband, it may be rough but you're doing the right thing.

(Oh the grammar!)

In my opinion, he is still the same man you married X years ago and he is in a time of his life when he really needs someone to help him. I can't imagine going through that and my husband divorcing me because I can't have as good of sex as we used to. That just blows my mind that your friend could ever say such awful things to you. And you are obviously going through things as well and for her to not stay by your side and be a loyal and considerate friend makes her not really a friend at all.

And just as I wrote that I realized that this post was 6 months ago. I really do hope everything is going better.

I cant believe some people are so heartless. If hes fighting for our freedom and he gets wounded, he needs his wife more than ever. What a cold-hearted bitch. You should never leave his side.

My man is military and if anything ever happened to him, I would stick by his side because I know it is a possibility every time he gets deployed. I love him regardless. It's the same as if I got hit by a car or got cancer. I'd expect him to be there to. That is love.

If I was truly in love with him and thought that my being there for him was beneficial I would be there, no questions asked.

I remember my wedding vows clearly - til death do us part and there too.

Life is filled with obstacles some more of a challenge then others but an injury is no reason to turn away from someone who has given so much not only to his country to protect all of us...but someone who held your heart and love.

Sounds like your friend is full of themselves. Stay with him, because you love him. As Sir said, "in sickness and in health"!

LOL I always ask my partner stuff like this. I would totally stay with him no matter what!