Mercenary Weddings, starting a year before the date?

  • Get FREE 5 Gifts with Orders $59+

Mercenary Weddings, starting a year before the date?

P'Gell P'Gell
I just saw something on FB (I went to find out more about the Eden discount code, and got sidetracked.)

It was a "share" to help with someone's "Honeymoon Fund." "We're getting married this date, and can't afford a honeymoon. Please donate to our honeymoon fund here." WTF? Not only do I not KNOW these people (it was put in my wall by someone who obviously knows them or knows someone who knows them) but, damn, My Man and I didn't actually have a honeymoon. Or not really. We couldn't afford it. So... we didn't have one. We went to Lake Geneva (less than 100 miles from our house) for three days, and saved what money we had to help pay for our house to live in.

What ever happened to "buy the bride and groom a gift IF you go to the wedding and they have to pay for anything above and beyond that." ?

I have to say, I've seen some mercenary things in recent years, but this is the icing on this cake. I don't KNOW these people! Even if I did, I would somehow either ignore their pathetic begging or let them know IF I was coming to the wedding, their wedding gift would be a regular wedding gift. If it was money, they, of course, could use it for whatever they wanted. But, shit. BEGGING on Facebook to people you don't even know for money for a vacation. We haven't had a vacation in several years, because of the economy. So, we don't go on trips we can't afford.

Is this the end all and be all? Did I mention, I don't even KNOW these people?

I almost wanted to put a comment on the post like: "This is a joke, right?" But, I didn't. I just ignored it.

Shee-it.
03/16/2012
  • Buy 3 Items for $70
  • Buy 3 Items for $50
  • Buy 3 Items for $30
  • Save 20% on Luxury Toys
  • Add Some Buzz To Your Favourite Toy & Save 60% On Kit
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Ciao. Ciao.
Eh, some people will do a lot for attention and money. I wouldn't go that route, but that's just me. We specifically waited to take a honeymoon immediately after our wedding since I was unemployed at the time and searching for jobs and needed to be around for interviews. We took ours the following year, no big deal.
03/16/2012
JessCee JessCee
WOW! Sounds like there's no shame in their game either!
03/16/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I'm not least bit surprise. There seems to be a hitherto unheard of sense of entitlement. Everyone seems that they are entitled to a bailout - either by friends, family or complete strangers - even taxpayers.

If someone wants to contribute, that's their prerogative. But they should understand that they are encouraging dependent behavior.

I wish the couple no ill will - but my estimation is that this marriage cannot last. If they are both that lazy and dependent - who's going to bring home the bacon?
03/16/2012
js250 js250
WTF??? What will people think of next??? No, I don't think I want to know. How about, "Lazy, irresponsible, don't want to work or earn my way...please pay it for me."

I think if you are 'responsible' enough to get married you should be responsible enough to budget for it, not ask people for handouts.
03/16/2012
Ansley Ansley
My understanding, from the article I read on it yesterday, is that because so many couples live together before they get married that they've already purchased the gifts you would traditionally find on a registry. I don't think it's a terrible idea, but I definitely think there's a certain way to go about it and that you still have a list of items for people to purchase (if they want to and are invited to the ceremony) if they don't want to contribute to a honeymoon for the couple.
03/16/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
totally NOT what I thought of when I read "mercenary wedding"!

I think it's a be tactless to do this, but times are changing, I guess. I'd never do it, but I can see where some people would.

It's a hard world for the twenty and thirty somethings looking to get married. The job market tanked just when a LOT of people my age were finishing degrees for jobs that no longer existed. More people are moving back in with there parent's and have more debt to boot!

If I knew them, I'd give them $20 and call it good. If you didn't know them...ignore it. You don't know them and they don't know you.
03/16/2012
AmberM AmberM
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I just saw something on FB (I went to find out more about the Eden discount code, and got sidetracked.)

It was a "share" to help with someone's "Honeymoon Fund." "We're getting married this date, and can't ...
Sounds crazy.
03/18/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
My understanding, from the article I read on it yesterday, is that because so many couples live together before they get married that they've already purchased the gifts you would traditionally find on a registry. I don't think it's a ...
I couple should be able to use what ever cash they get in whatever way they feel is best. (Although in this economy, IMO, an expensive honeymoon is irresponsible, if one has other bills and needs.)

This was on Facebook, it was a general announcement, "shared" by someone for a couple I don't even know. On Facebook! Opening and shamelessly begging for money for a trip they can't afford! Why would I give them money? I don't even know them.

Also the idea of a wedding gift is to help the couple get off to a good start. If they have "everything they need" nothing more than a token needs to be gifted and ONLY IF one goes to the wedding.

I'll help a couple IF I go to the wedding get their home together. I'm not donating to their social activities. As for cash, they can do as they like with it. But, I don't even KNOW these people.
03/18/2012
Eliyahu Eliyahu
Our honeymoon (almost a year after our wedding) consisted of a week camping/backpacking in the redwood forest, followed by a week of sleeping in a dive motel in downtown Portland and enjoying walking/driving around the city. Was pretty inexpensive, but we saved up for a while regardless. I wouldn't give those people anything...not even $20.
03/18/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
totally NOT what I thought of when I read "mercenary wedding"!

I think it's a be tactless to do this, but times are changing, I guess. I'd never do it, but I can see where some people would.

It's a hard world for ...
If I knew them, I still wouldn't help finance a vacation they can't afford. Our family hasn't been on vacation in 3 or 4 years. My husband and I didn't even have a honeymoon (we bought a home instead) I just can't see encouraging people to be irresponsible with MY gifting.

But, I don't know them and I thought it was tacky as hell.

I know the economy sucks. My oldest daughter and her partner are suffering, no insurance, hard to find jobs, they moved out of state just so they could find employment. I still wouldn't give even them money for a vacation they couldn't afford. I sure as heck am not giving "gimme money" to people I don't even know.

We're not talking cancer treatment or a skin graft.... it's a non-essential thing, a vacation.
03/18/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I'm not least bit surprise. There seems to be a hitherto unheard of sense of entitlement. Everyone seems that they are entitled to a bailout - either by friends, family or complete strangers - even taxpayers.

If someone wants to ...
I agree. If one can't afford a vacation, one doesn't go on vacation. No marriage ever failed due to the lack of a honeymoon. However, as you said, Gun, they do fail due to the sense of entitlement to things that are inessential.
03/18/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
WTF??? What will people think of next??? No, I don't think I want to know. How about, "Lazy, irresponsible, don't want to work or earn my way...please pay it for me."

I think if you are 'responsible' enough to get ...
Yep. Marriage is a ritual of adulthood.
03/18/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
totally NOT what I thought of when I read "mercenary wedding"!

I think it's a be tactless to do this, but times are changing, I guess. I'd never do it, but I can see where some people would.

It's a hard world for ...
totally NOT what I thought of when I read "mercenary wedding"!

Did you imagine two Soldiers of Fortune, guns slung over their shoulders, before the priest?
03/18/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
Like you, we did not have a honeymoon. We simply could not afford one. We stayed at the hotel we got married in for the night they provided for free and that was it. The only vacations we have been on since we got married are the ones my mother has asked us to go on with her and paid for. Actually, now that I think of it, my step dad's work paid for it because there was some conference to attend.

I think it's ridiculous to ask for honeymoon money as a wedding gift. I think it's always tacky to ask for money unless it's from a very close family member for a birthday or other event. And then only if they ask what you want. To ask friends and STRANGERS to donate to a vacation that they can't afford is irresponsible and impolite. If they get money and cannot afford a vacation, perhaps spending it on more important things would be wise?
03/18/2012
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
totally NOT what I thought of when I read "mercenary wedding"!

I think it's a be tactless to do this, but times are changing, I guess. I'd never do it, but I can see where some people would.

It's a hard world for ...
I thought something else too
But yeeeah, some people find it cool whereas I would not
03/18/2012
Pixel Pixel
Wow, that is incredibly tacky.
03/18/2012
Missmarc Missmarc
Oh well, it's facebook. This is the reason I don't use it anymore.
03/18/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
totally NOT what I thought of when I read "mercenary wedding"!

Did you imagine two Soldiers of Fortune, guns slung over their shoulders, before the priest?
yup...sunset in Cambodia or something...
03/19/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
yup...sunset in Cambodia or something...


Fatigues make great wedding fashion.
03/19/2012
Total posts: 20
Unique posters: 13