My man does not like my toys..

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My man does not like my toys..

poetprincess poetprincess
well the other night we were messing around and I was giving him a bj and he started to use his fingers on me. I dont like when he does that cause he will not put his fingers inside me. I want to have fun too so i suggested he use one of my toys he just gave me this dirty look like I was crazy and kept going on with what he was doing. I actually changed position so he could not do it anymore cause he was hurting me the way he was rubbing his fingers. later we were talking and he asked me why I have toys. I told him I had them cause he does not live with me and I like to please myself. Plus I have really bad migraines and sometimes when i get them if i have a lil fun with myself it gets rid of the migraine. then he told me he does not like that I use toys and thinks I should get rid of them. all I said was ok and changed the subject, I am not getting rid of my toys. it is not like I use them all the time. sometimes its only once a month..
12/26/2011
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Nazaress Nazaress
Quote:
Originally posted by poetprincess
well the other night we were messing around and I was giving him a bj and he started to use his fingers on me. I dont like when he does that cause he will not put his fingers inside me. I want to have fun too so i suggested he use one of my toys he ...
I can't really tell you what to do because ultimately, it's your decision and what may be right for some may not be right for others. But if it were me? I would tell my man that he is either going to accept me having toys or we can't be together. You're obviously going to masturbate when he's not there, whether you have toys or not. Why can't you keep them to make it better? Plus toys can spice up a relationship if both parties aren't close-minded (like your man seems to be right now). My boyfriend loves watching me use the toys on myself and he loves using them on me, too. He's even got a few toys of his own! Tell your man that he needs to learn to accept it or leave it. Maybe you can convince him that they're fun and he might even like them, too!
12/26/2011
indiglo indiglo
I think you need to find out WHY he doesn't like them and wants you to get rid of them. Once you know his reasons, you'll be in a position to discuss them and figure out where to go from here. Until you have all the information, you really can't know exactly what to do or how to proceed.
12/26/2011
T&A1987 T&A1987
this is just based off what you said and perhaps it's cliche, but it could be size jealousy. Toys are hard, if not impossible to live up to (i can't vibrate sadly) and if the toys are larger than him it could be an ego bruise.
12/26/2011
poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
I think you need to find out WHY he doesn't like them and wants you to get rid of them. Once you know his reasons, you'll be in a position to discuss them and figure out where to go from here. Until you have all the information, you really ...
He says it is because I have him that I do not need the toys, yet He has porn and stuff at his house and he has admitted to masturbating and I never got mad about it..
12/26/2011
poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by T&A1987
this is just based off what you said and perhaps it's cliche, but it could be size jealousy. Toys are hard, if not impossible to live up to (i can't vibrate sadly) and if the toys are larger than him it could be an ego bruise.
no he is a rather large man. I have never had problems not being pleased when we have sex, I just like toys too..
12/26/2011
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by poetprincess
He says it is because I have him that I do not need the toys, yet He has porn and stuff at his house and he has admitted to masturbating and I never got mad about it..
This is what you say.

Also, why won't he finger you?
12/26/2011
Tagmstr Tagmstr
I would just try to talk to him about it a little more.
When my fiance brought toys into our sex life I couldn't be happier. She even let me pick the first toy that we got together. Maybe letting him pick something would make him more likely to want to try it out.
12/27/2011
Ansley Ansley
Sounds like insecurity. Solve the issues about what he does that you don't like and I think he'll be more open to the idea of toys.
12/27/2011
Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
This is what you say.

Also, why won't he finger you?
What she said.

Calm conversation, non-confrontational tone.
12/27/2011
Illusional Illusional
Agreed.

My boyfriend initially was weirded out by my toys, cause he felt he was being replaced, or that I felt he was inadequate.
When I explained, I use them when I miss them and nothing, and it's true NOTHING is better then the real thing to me, he calmed down.

He uses toys on me, and it's fun. Sometimes we do, sometimes we won't.
12/27/2011
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
What she said.

Calm conversation, non-confrontational tone.
I agree! You need to show him that it is no different.

Also tell him what he is doing is uncomfortable to you, if it hurts than do not let him continue thinking it is ok.
12/27/2011
Subbi Subbi
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
I agree! You need to show him that it is no different.

Also tell him what he is doing is uncomfortable to you, if it hurts than do not let him continue thinking it is ok.
I agree with this completely!
12/27/2011
rom323 rom323
I was the one to introduce toys to my wife. We always use them together but it has enhanced our sex life so much. My whole thought process is to make sex as enjoyable for her as I can, so she will want to do it more often.

I am not well endowed and being 350 lbs and she is 110 lbs, we have to a bit careful to not crush her.
12/27/2011
poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
This is what you say.

Also, why won't he finger you?
I dont know, and when I ask he avoided it.
12/28/2011
poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Sounds like insecurity. Solve the issues about what he does that you don't like and I think he'll be more open to the idea of toys.
I agree with it probably being insecurity issues. He has those kind of issues with other parts of our relationship
12/28/2011
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by poetprincess
I dont know, and when I ask he avoided it.
Right so he is, whether intentionally or not, sacrificing your pleasure in multiple ways. I think you've got a few issues to deal with here
12/28/2011
SaMiKaY SaMiKaY
Quote:
Originally posted by poetprincess
well the other night we were messing around and I was giving him a bj and he started to use his fingers on me. I dont like when he does that cause he will not put his fingers inside me. I want to have fun too so i suggested he use one of my toys he ...
My man doesn't mind me having toys, but he doesn't like toys that are larger than him. It makes him insecure, like he isn't enough to please me (SO UNTRUE!). And that is pretty much all of them sans the anal probe I purchased earlier this month.

If he is like my boyfriend, his insecurities won't change. I just told him that I love him, and wouldn't be with him if he didn't please me and I don't use the big ones around him.
12/28/2011
Eucaly Eucaly
This is a very problematic attitude. You can't have pleasure but he can? Masturbation is evil? You have to accept the way he fingers you even if it hurts and you know better options for him to do to you?

Ther'll be many relationship problems down the road unless some of these things are worked out.

I'd personally dump anyone with attitudes that bad.
12/28/2011
indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
Right so he is, whether intentionally or not, sacrificing your pleasure in multiple ways. I think you've got a few issues to deal with here
I agree. You've got more issues to deal with here than just the fact that he doesn't like your toys. It sounds like your relationship is seriously lacking in the communication department. Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship... so if there's no communication, there really is no relationship, even if you are going through the motions.

This is going to be up to you. If you're willing to keep trying to communicate with him, and wait and see what happens, then go that route. If he remains unwilling to communicate and just won't listen to you when you tell him what he's doing is hurting you - then there really isn't much you can do rather than decide if you want to stay or go.
12/28/2011
SweetSurprise SweetSurprise
I agree that it is probably him being insecure. I'm not sure why he won't finger you that seems odd. I would just calmly talk with him and then if he is still unwilling to maybe meet you halfway I would change some things. My guy had never used toys with others, so I slowly brought it up. I started telling him About using them on myself and he liked hearing it. I brought one over and let him use it on me. He loves that I please myself and he loves being apart of it.
12/28/2011
GonetoLovehoney GonetoLovehoney
Quote:
Originally posted by Eucaly
This is a very problematic attitude. You can't have pleasure but he can? Masturbation is evil? You have to accept the way he fingers you even if it hurts and you know better options for him to do to you?

Ther'll be many relationship ...
I second the person above. Talk to him and try to get him to understand, if he refuses to, dump the close-minded asshole. I would NEVER put up with a guy that refused to listen to me when it comes to pleasuring my own body. He really does have some issues if he's threatened by toys.
12/28/2011
Total posts: 22
Unique posters: 16