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oooh that is horrible! I would advise to just drop it and hopefully she will as well. I kind of feel like she will continue being negative, and that will just hurt you when what you need the most is to be yourself. I don't necessarily believe
oooh that is horrible! I would advise to just drop it and hopefully she will as well. I kind of feel like she will continue being negative, and that will just hurt you when what you need the most is to be yourself. I don't necessarily believe a further conversation is needed at this time unless it becomes a bigger problem in the future.
I admit I'm very non-confrontational though (which I know isn't always the BEST solution), I am interested to hear what other people will say here!
Well, I AM confrontational, at least if I'm deeply hurt, but I DO agree with jr2012! You are only going to give her more opportunity to hurt you & project her neurosis about the subject, if you try and address it. Unfortunately, because she's your mom, you probably won't find advice helpful if it requires you to cut her off completely. Your next best bet is to limit her ability to hurt you. I think you know that she has a deep seated problem about sex if her attitude toward it caused her to lash out at her own child like that! Frankly, it's none of her business what you do or don't do with your own body if no one is being hurt.
If she brings it up again, be prepared with a statement to cut her off & then leave. Here are a few things you can say:
-she doesn't need to go there again- you heard her the first time
- you refuse to discuss it
-you're an adult & this in NOT her business
-you didn't ask for/don't appreciate her opinion
-how dare she call you names/don't ever talk to me like that
-if you want respect from me, then treat me with the same
-if she expects to continue to have a relationship with you, she better _________(fill in the blank...treat you like an adult, not be insulting & call you names, keep an appropriate boundary between two adults about sex, etc.)
I think you know that she is irrational on the subject, so engaging her is only going to annoy you more & possibly let her hurt you, so don't allow it, or at best, avoid it. But it's smart to be prepared to draw your line in the sand in case you need to. I find it always best to keep it simple with emotional people/topics, state your position & retreat. With any luck, this won't come up again, but I am so sorry she hurt your feelings like that! It's a miracle you grew up without shame about masturbation!