On March 6, 2014 at 7:43pm, my whole world ended...Please love your partner every second of the time you have--the end comes too soon.

js250 js250
My husband was shot and killed last night. He is 47 years old. He is my world. We were soul mates--have been through more shit than most go through in two lifetimes and came farther than anyone thought we would. He loved enough to change his abusive habits and stop drinking completely. It took us 17 years to get this far, but we packed 30 years of living into it. The reason I am even posting is to remind all of you how short your time together really is and how damned insignificant the petty, stubborn or irrational details and arguments are. I learned some of this too late, we thought we had years and years to go. I am dead inside, broken, alone in the most devastating and painful depths of hurt possible. I am lost without my other half!

NEVER go to bed mad, resentful or indifferently. Tomorrow you may have to go to bed with the t-shirt that smells like him, not the real man you need.

Make a point each and every day to let him know how very much you love him--and how amazing he is at doing something special for you.

Work harder at keeping each other than you did at trying to get each other!

Make every second count! When he is laying on a cold, silver metal table with his chest sewn back togehter and his head has been broken apart by a skull saw-you will regret every half second you let go by taking him for granted.

Work together to stay together...saying you are sorry or bending a bit is so much more worth the petty, stupid bit of pride you give up--especially when you have to struggle to just breathe when you can no longer get a hug or kiss from the one you love more than anything.

Never give up on each other-when the going gets rough, deal with it. It is easier than having to see them get wheeled into an ambulance taking them to the state morgue.

I do not know when or if I will be back on here--without my husband, it just is not the same for me. I do appreciate and will miss the friends I have made--and just damn well hold on to keeping who you have, without them--it is the appocalypse!
Mar 8, 1:01 am
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Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My husband was shot and killed last night. He is 47 years old. He is my world. We were soul mates--have been through more shit than most go through in two lifetimes and came farther than anyone thought we would. He loved enough to change his abusive ... More
OMG! Sweetheart, I am just so stunned by this, I can't think of what to say! Your message to us about cherishing every moment with your loved ones does not sound any different than what you have been telling everyone all along, so please take some comfort in the fact that you DID try to do all that, probably more than anyone else any of us know. I remember just a few weeks ago when we chatted about how coming close to death changes your perspective. I know you probably thought after your cancer scare that your road would finally smooth out. I sure did. I am just floored to have read this happened!

Just from all I've read that you've posted on here, I have no doubt you gave your all to your marriage; it was abundantly clear and no one can doubt that, so please don't you! Your husband knew how much you loved him because you always showed him and told him. Heck, you spent a lot of time together going to jobs with him just to be together. I absolutely believe you packed a lot of living into your time together and thank God you did. It's a horrific shock, but I don't think you could really have done better had you know when he would pass.

Take some comfort in all the people you have spread your wise words to and helped. You didn't just hold your love close, you shared your experiences and passed on the word to cherish those most important to you. I think of anything I remember most about you it's that message and about letting pettiness go, focusing on the important things. So maybe you won't be able to come back on Eden, I completely understand that, but you have already made such a contribution that you can be proud of. I wish we could help you but I fear this is a hurt so profound that nothing we have to say could truly comfort you. However, please come by if you are feeling up to it, just to let some of us know how you are! We don't just care about you for what you bring to the site, we care about you the person and how you are doing (well, I certainly do and I know a few others who do, too!).

I am available to talk to you about anything, even if you just want to talk about anything but what happened. I wish I had your phone number! I will PM you my number and even if it's the middle of the night, you can call me, OK? I don't hide from these things and the people who need support in their darkest moments, so don't hesitate to call if you need to. I don't know what else to offer you but that and of course my prayers for you and him both. I am rambling now because I can't process it all! Know there are plenty of people who love you and are praying for you. Thank you for telling us and not just disappearing. And thank you for sharing such valuable advice and giving us all a wake up call!
Mar 8, 2:56 am
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My husband was shot and killed last night. He is 47 years old. He is my world. We were soul mates--have been through more shit than most go through in two lifetimes and came farther than anyone thought we would. He loved enough to change his abusive ... More
There are no words. Our deepest, heartfelt condolences go out to you. We hope and pray the memories of your good times together will hold your life together. You are so right, no one knows what the next moment will bring, but it never makes it fair or in any way easier to lose someone like this, at such a young age. You are a very special person to have turned the ultimate tragedy into a moment to remind us all to cherish those we love. May you find comfort in the many positive thoughts we know must be coming your way, even if people don't post. It is just something most people fail to know how to respond to.
Mar 8, 10:40 am
November November
I don't know if you'll be back to read this, but I would like to say thank you for even thinking about us during this incredibly painful time of bereavement. Your message has been heard by us who have responded and I'm sure many more who do not know how to respond. Grief is a difficult thing to go through emotionally, mentally, physically, and sometimes even spiritually. Please remember to take care of yourself.
Mar 8, 12:22 pm
Taylor Taylor
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Mar 8, 2:18 pm
Oriental husband and wife Oriental husband and wife
We are very sorry to hear about your loss. We'll say a prayer for you. Try to think of the good times and be positive.
Mar 8, 2:45 pm
Edeneve Edeneve
OMG!!!!! I don't know what to say - I'm absolutely stunned. OMG!!! my heart goes out to you. hugs hugs
Mar 8, 4:32 pm
Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
I am so sorry to hear of your great loss. I cannot even imagine how painful and horrible what you are going through is. There are no words to comfort you and nothing that anyone can say can fill the emptiness in your heart.

Do not be afraid to lean on your family, friends and your faith. Too often when we lose someone close to us, we do not want to bother others or ask for help. My mom is one of the strongest people I know but when she lost my dad suddenly to a heart attack, she did not try to handle it all on her own. She asked for help. It also benefited her friends and family to help her because they lost someone dear to them as well and it was a great way to honor him by helping her.

He must have been an amazing man to have someone love him as much as you obviously do. We will be praying for you.
Mar 8, 8:15 pm
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
I am so sorry. I want you to know that over the weeks as you helped me through my rough patch that your advice and experiences have taught me a lot about how to work for what you love and to look past the surface of the problems and see that deep down it is there.

You loved your husband deeply and passionately and I know you will never stop loving him.

I am sending as much hope and love your way as I can. I am not a Christian, but I believe in positive vibes and hope. I believe you are strong enough to be able to get through this. Each and every day. Even if it's several weeks or months from now, please come back and let us know how you are doing.

You are loved here.

Be safe, be happy. And thank you for being a friend with insights I could never dream of when I needed them the most.
Mar 9, 3:03 pm
imperialyellowdragon imperialyellowdragon
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My husband was shot and killed last night. He is 47 years old. He is my world. We were soul mates--have been through more shit than most go through in two lifetimes and came farther than anyone thought we would. He loved enough to change his abusive ... More
first I am very sorry for your loss. I was a husband once. I had the talk with my wife. if something should happen to me. I told her how much I loved her and how special she was to me. I then told her this. to find a another good man and remarry. for her to be happy. all I asked was this. each year on the day of my passing that she would stop everything and stay home and remember our love and happiness but for her to move on and be happy. its not the talk I wanted but it was needed.
then later she left me.
I know its hard but everyone must have this conversation. with in the first week of marriage.
as a one time husband. your loving man would want you to be happy and remember him. its ok to morn him but don't let it stop you from your life.
he would not want that. he would want you to be happy. being happy is the best way to remember him. he would want that.
I send you my prayers and pray that god will bless you.
from my heart.
Mar 9, 5:56 pm
js250 js250
I don't know if or when I will be back on here, but felt the need to connect with a non-threatening part of the world right now. Thank you again, so much! Your support and kindness is very needed right now--and the security I get knowing I have somewhere to go to 'talk' in the long hours of the night when my family and friends are sleeping means the world to me!

My hubby is and was an amazing person. He was big enough to work through his and my demons and destructive behaviors. He was always willing to say he was sorry--and meant it. We loved, lived, played and fought hard....our biggest strengths and also our biggest failing was the full commitment we put on EVERYTHING we did...not just the good times but the sad and angry ones as well. Many remember our epic battles due to the drama...and they forget who we were in our quiet times, never knew our personal times and the good times--while bigger and more full of life than our battles--are also more easily forgotten as well. He was my world, my North Star my everything.....I thank God for my daughter without her I would not make it. Because of her I will exist and try to get through this.

Mar 9, 6:47 pm
The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My husband was shot and killed last night. He is 47 years old. He is my world. We were soul mates--have been through more shit than most go through in two lifetimes and came farther than anyone thought we would. He loved enough to change his abusive ... More
JS I am so sorry for your loss.
Mar 10, 11:22 pm
BlackOrchid BlackOrchid
So sorry for your loss, what a tragedy. Wishing you hope and healing, and may justice be served to the one who took his life.
Mar 11, 7:31 am
js250 js250
Thank you! Words cannot express how grateful I am for your support...it is 1 AM and I am all alone and this community is my link between sanity and the edge right now. You are all so amazing and caring!!!
Mar 12, 3:47 am
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Thank you! Words cannot express how grateful I am for your support...it is 1 AM and I am all alone and this community is my link between sanity and the edge right now. You are all so amazing and caring!!!
Just part of the service, ma'am I'm glad you were able to come back and read all the comments left for you! The nice thing is that there is always someone around here it seems. I am often on at all sorts of odd hours.
Mar 12, 6:49 am
Edeneve Edeneve
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Thank you! Words cannot express how grateful I am for your support...it is 1 AM and I am all alone and this community is my link between sanity and the edge right now. You are all so amazing and caring!!!
I'm glad you came back so you could see all the support offered. hugs
Mar 12, 12:21 pm
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by Edeneve
I'm glad you came back so you could see all the support offered. hugs
Thank you! You have been a great friend to me and your hugs are appreciated!!

WW--Thank you!!
Mar 12, 1:43 pm
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Thank you! Words cannot express how grateful I am for your support...it is 1 AM and I am all alone and this community is my link between sanity and the edge right now. You are all so amazing and caring!!!
We will never abandon a friend in need.
Mar 12, 3:28 pm
KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
0_0
Oh my god...I'm so sorry to hear about this. I know I'm about four days late, but I hope it was at least an accidental shooting.

I don't even know what to say right now, and I can't even begin to imagine all the pain you're dealing with. Matter of fact, I have no idea how on earth you ARE dealing with it, I know "life goes on", but it takes one hell of a strong woman to be able to go through something like this without losing every shred of sanity for a while.

Sometimes people we love get taken away from us far earlier than anyone can ever expect, life is cruel that way it seems.

I don't really pray (bad things seem to happen when I do), but if you ever need to talk don't even hesitate to message me on here or email (same as my yahoo messenger name) any time of day or night.

Mar 12, 6:13 pm
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by KyotoAngel
0_0
Oh my god...I'm so sorry to hear about this. I know I'm about four days late, but I hope it was at least an accidental shooting.

I don't even know what to say right now, and I can't even begin to imagine all the pain ... More
Due to legalities, I am unable to discuss the shooting. I am just praying for justice!

I am not strong, but am existing right now for my daughter and granddaughter. Everything is broken and lost, and the morning hours between 2 and 7 are the loneliest and scariest time of the day. I alternate between wanting to talk and just being alone with my thoughts...wishing I could talk about the tragedy.

Thank you for the support and care--I really need this right now. It seems that you find out who your honest, true friends are when these things happen...and they are NEVER who you think they are!!
Mar 14, 2:51 am
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Due to legalities, I am unable to discuss the shooting. I am just praying for justice!

I am not strong, but am existing right now for my daughter and granddaughter. Everything is broken and lost, and the morning hours between 2 and 7 are the ... More
Unfortunately, that last statement is the truth, isn't it? Well, I know KyotoAngel and when she says you can message her anytime day or night, you can. She's been a good friend to me even though our health keeps getting in the way of regular "hanging out" time. Of course, you can contact me, too I am glad you have somewhere to come to when you need a break. I think as some have mentioned on here, there are people who just don't know what to say, but I think it's a safe bet you have more people praying and thinking of you than you know.
Mar 14, 3:51 am
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Due to legalities, I am unable to discuss the shooting. I am just praying for justice!

I am not strong, but am existing right now for my daughter and granddaughter. Everything is broken and lost, and the morning hours between 2 and 7 are the ... More
This is very true, that last line.

The boy and I found that out when his truck broke down on us on our last couple's visit to the city! People who always wanted to party with him in Lincoln seemed to scatter when we needed the help.
Mar 14, 6:06 pm
TheFirecat TheFirecat
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My husband was shot and killed last night. He is 47 years old. He is my world. We were soul mates--have been through more shit than most go through in two lifetimes and came farther than anyone thought we would. He loved enough to change his abusive ... More
Oh my goodness... I'm so sorry to hear this, hun. My greatest condolences to you. I'm sending all the positive energies I can muster to you, in hope they can provide you with some amount of comfort. I can't say I know how you feel, as one can never truly understand when another's heart has been taken from their chest. I can however, send love to help heal.

Lots of love to you, dear. Strength be with you <3
Mar 15, 12:21 am
js250 js250

Mar 17, 5:51 am
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by js250

I do hope things are at least a little better for you, even if it is very very small.
Mar 18, 2:29 am
ScorpioCurves ScorpioCurves
It's my 1st time seeing this post & I'm late for saying this but my whole heart goes out to you & your family, js250. I cannot even fathom the pain you and your family are going through. May whoever took your husband's life be brought to justice.
Mar 18, 3:27 am
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by ScorpioCurves
It's my 1st time seeing this post & I'm late for saying this but my whole heart goes out to you & your family, js250. I cannot even fathom the pain you and your family are going through. May whoever took your husband's life be brought to justice.
Thank you!!
Mar 31, 12:14 pm
Edeneve Edeneve
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Thank you!!
I'm happy to see you here today. you are greatly loved & missed.
Mar 31, 3:01 pm
Total posts: 28
Unique posters: 15