Question about friendship

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Question about friendship

mysecretcollection mysecretcollection
Right now I am watching a friends two dogs because she asked me to. I personally am not at all a fan of pets, even though I admit to having one dog whom I love.

I honestly did not want to watch her dogs, but she asked for this favor, and as her friend, I felt the need to say yes.

I am kicking myself right now as one of her dogs peed in my house within the first 10 minutes of being here. I am sure he was marking his territory, but still, no one enjoys cleaning that stuff up.

So I ask this, can you be a good friend to someone, and still say "no" when they ask favors?
10/28/2010
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Chilipepper Chilipepper
Yes. It's called having boundaries, and you have every right to have them. True friends respect boundaries, and will not be offended if you say no, just as you would respect their boundaries as well.
10/28/2010
Darling Jen Darling Jen
I think you can still say no and be the best friend ever. It's saying yes when it's important that matters.

Like if you said no when she wanted you to watch her dogs just because she wanted to go away for the weekend and you knew she'd be able to find other options easily. That'd be ok. (Or maybe say "yeah, I'll watch them, but in your house only and they're not coming in mine.") But if she had a family emergency and a loved one was hospitalized and she was flying out immediately and needed help... that's when a friend says yes.

When everything else goes wrong, a friend should be there with unwavering loyalty. I take friendship very seriously, which is probably why I get hurt a lot and let down by people who don't feel the same way. I've decided that all fair-weather friends aren't worth my time. Since I'm kinda starting life over now anyway, they're being left behind as well.

Good luck with your dog sitting though! I hope there are no more accidents!
10/28/2010
mysecretcollection mysecretcollection
I am sure I could have left the dogs at her house which is 30 mins- an hour away from mine because of San Antonio traffic, but with their schedule I thought this would be easier on me.

Although I am 31 I am still learning about what TRUE friendship is, as I have always before been the one that everyone could "count on" which all too many times meant that everyone could "take advantage of".
10/28/2010
Mocha98 Mocha98
Yes, being honest is one of my pet peeves. If you are honest, you will feel better. Remember that it is you that needs to be first, and mind you comfortable as well. I am not saying to be mean and say no all the time. But you need to take into account your feelings first. Explain to your friend your situation, and I am sure she will understand. BE HONEST! If she gets mad, then frankly that is not a friendship you wanted in the first place. Hope that helps!
10/28/2010
mysecretcollection mysecretcollection
Quote:
Originally posted by Mocha98
Yes, being honest is one of my pet peeves. If you are honest, you will feel better. Remember that it is you that needs to be first, and mind you comfortable as well. I am not saying to be mean and say no all the time. But you need to take into ...
Being honest is not usually an issue for me. I am one of those people that are way too blunt.

I guess I kinda felt like I HAD to help her with this because she has helped me with things in the past.
10/28/2010
Pandahb Pandahb
This is what most would call a difficult conversation. I highly recommend the book, btw. Avoiding such conversations can really hurt your friendship. You should be open about not liking pets and explain to your friend how you felt hurt that you couldn't say no. Yes, this would be difficult to do. Didn't I already say it was a difficult conversation?
10/28/2010
ToyGeek ToyGeek
It's a balance between their needs and mine. I will not cause myself significant stress for someone else's mild convenience. Especially not twice. Missing an event I'd been looking forward to for months, because a friend desperately needed a favor, just to find out that her "emergency" was more of a too-lazy-to-inconvenie nce-herself kind of situation? As in, she could have done the thing herself with very little effort, but didn't feel like it and therefore called me and I blew my day over it? Not cool.

(Sorry to be vague, but I can't share the whole story on account of having blogged about it with my other screen name.)
10/29/2010
Kimbertrees Kimbertrees
Quote:
Originally posted by mysecretcollection
Right now I am watching a friends two dogs because she asked me to. I personally am not at all a fan of pets, even though I admit to having one dog whom I love.

I honestly did not want to watch her dogs, but she asked for this favor, and as ...
If she is a good friend then I honestly believe that she will understand if you explain your reasoning's for not wanting to do it.
10/29/2010
Trashley Trashley
Quote:
Originally posted by mysecretcollection
Right now I am watching a friends two dogs because she asked me to. I personally am not at all a fan of pets, even though I admit to having one dog whom I love.

I honestly did not want to watch her dogs, but she asked for this favor, and as ...
I don't know, I have this same problem. But I think it's a good quality. Being willing to die for your friends is bueno, no?
10/29/2010
Total posts: 10
Unique posters: 8