Rude or just cautious?

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Rude or just cautious?

JG24FanUK JG24FanUK
Do you find it rude when as soon as someone finds out you are sick that they react by saying "Don't come near me." or "Stay away from me"?

I have this one friend who whenever I let them know I'm sick before they ask "How are you doing?" or "What's wrong?" I get "You better not get me sick." I consider that to be a bit rude because the person is only considering themselves at the time. If I was in their shoes I would take measures to stay away from the sick individual and if a situation came up where I was uncomfortable being that close to them I would say something. But saying it right away to me is just rude.

Your thoughts?
05/07/2012
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Chilipepper Chilipepper
I think it's rude to say it out loud - shows very little compassion and a lot of selfishness.

Cautious is being silent about precautions, not advertising them and make the sick person feel even worse.

It's a sort of passive-aggressive thing that people aren't really aware of doing, though.
05/07/2012
Ansley Ansley
My husband says it to me, but I've only been sick once in our entire relationship. And he took very good care of me and I took precautions to make sure I didn't get sick. So, I don't think it's rude for him to say it because I know we aren't in a position for either one of us to miss an unplanned day of work.

I don't think I've ever had anyone other than him say it to me though.
05/07/2012
indiglo indiglo
No, I don't find that rude at all. I have several friends that say this to me, and I say it to several of my friends when someone is sick. Of course, we all still ask each other "how are you feeling?" or something like that. I appreciate it when people tell me they are sick and then proceed to not get too close to me until they're better.
05/07/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by JG24FanUK
Do you find it rude when as soon as someone finds out you are sick that they react by saying "Don't come near me." or "Stay away from me"?

I have this one friend who whenever I let them know I'm sick before they ask ...
I don't think it's rude at all.

I have a crappy immune system, and if I am around sick people I WILL usually get sick. (And I'm a nurse, go figure.) Also, I work with babies, some of them premature, and I can't take the chance of getting my little patients sick. They could DIE! I have to stay away from sick people. Of course, you can't stay away from everybody with a mild cold. But stomach flu? You shouldn't be out of the house, certainly NOT in public. We could eliminate most forms of gastroenteritis in a generation if people just stayed home until they were well. And things like true Influenza? One has no right to be out in public. It's a HUGE health hazard.

Also, many people care about others and wouldn't work or go out in public while sick. If someone who doesn't care gets THEM sick, those people are negatively effecting their time, their life and their ability to earn and income. I don't get sick pay, so if I have to stay home because I got sick, I suffer, as does my family!

Working in health care, I see just how sick people CAN get. There's a reason we wear gloves and a mask around sick people in health care.

People can be nice about it, "Please, if you are contagious, please don't come around myself or my children as we will then get sick and it will effect our time and our health." Again, I don't get sick pay, so if my KIDS get sick I have to miss work and not get paid, because someone else was careless with their own germs. People DO need to be mindful of their health status when being social.

Still, I see nothing more "rude" than someone with a full blown Influenza, or a rampant case of diarrhea showing up and sitting next to me at a dinner party or at Christmas because "I didn't want to miss it."

For the health and well being of others and for the health of oneself, one owes it to oneself to stay home when contagious.
05/07/2012
unfulfilled unfulfilled
My husband does that to me anytime I'm sick. I don't leave the house when I'm sick though because I wouldn't want to pass on anything contagious. I don't go to dr's either.
05/07/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I think it's rude...think it, that's fine, but keep it to yourself
05/07/2012
Beck Beck
I don't find it rude at all. You are sick and likely contagious. So they are just being worry of their health and the health of those around them. Surely it can come off in a rude tone, but they don't mean it that way.
05/07/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
I don't find it rude at all. You are sick and likely contagious. So they are just being worry of their health and the health of those around them. Surely it can come off in a rude tone, but they don't mean it that way.
Exactly. Because many of us have more than just ourselves to care about. We have partners and children, aging parents who may have failing immune systems, and maybe the people we work with, and in my case, my patients. A preterm baby gets a "cold" because I wasn't careful, he or she could end up back in the hospital on a respirator. That could seriously impact her ongoing bonding with her parents, disrupt her feeding status and growth ability, not to mention the high cost of preterm or sick baby care.

Many of us have many people we impact with our daily lives and choices. It is the rare, and I'd say unusual person, who only has themselves to worry about.
05/07/2012
Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
I think it's only rude if you get the "don't get me sick" line before the "are you all right?" one. Otherwise it doesn't bug me, and I myself say it, though I usually try to put a friendly tone to it (if that makes any sense - it's hard to demonstrate through text).
05/07/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
No, I mean no one likes getting sick. I don't want sneezed on, coughed on or breathed on when someone is sick. I've said it before. It's not to be mean and I'm not going to avoid being in the same room with them over it. I think you're taking it too much to heart. It isn't like she is meaning to be hateful.
05/07/2012
hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
I try to keep my distance when I'm sick, especially from kids, but people don't always have the option of staying home when sick, even contagious-sick. If it were up to me, I'd barricade myself in my bedroom every time I got something that could even possibly be contagious. In real life, I still have to go to work, because I can't afford to miss a single day.

I think it's a little insensitive to say 'Stay away' before 'How are you feeling?', unless you're going in for a hug or something.
05/07/2012
MistressDandelion MistressDandelion
It's called having a bad immune system. It's not rude at all. Heck, in some countries, you'd be the rude one if you're not wearing a mask to protect the others.
05/07/2012
Khanner Khanner
I had no idea people considered this rude... I say this every time someone around me is sick
And when I'm sick I tell people not to come near me. Germs are bad.
05/07/2012
RomanticGoth RomanticGoth
I don't think it's rude at all!

I have a bad immune system and get sick all the time and it sucks. I try to stay away from people when I get sick, too. I don't like being sick and don't want to get anyone else ill.
05/07/2012
Woman China Woman China
I love you, but I don't love your germs.

I really do not think it is rude at all. I actually think it is quite healthy to ask people to keep their distance when they are ill. Chances are that they should be at home and not out in public anyways.
05/07/2012
kkross65 kkross65
Quote:
Originally posted by JG24FanUK
Do you find it rude when as soon as someone finds out you are sick that they react by saying "Don't come near me." or "Stay away from me"?

I have this one friend who whenever I let them know I'm sick before they ask ...
No, I don't find it rude at all. And not because I'm rude, but because I really don't want to get sick. I of course hope my friend feels better soon, but I appreciate knowing if they are sick, and I will let others know when I am sick, too, and try to avoid passing the bug.
05/07/2012
gloomybear gloomybear
i thinks its rude because its not ur fault if they get sick and they diont even know if its contagious
05/07/2012
KrazyKandy KrazyKandy
I don't find this rude. I say it all the time only because by still giving them a hug or a hand shake to be nice Ive gotten sick. Usually when Im sick Im bitchy and hate life so I am doing the world a favor by not being sick.
05/07/2012
Arch600 Arch600
I say it to people I know well in jest, and of course get it in return when I'm sick. Doesn't bother me at all, but then again, I'm pretty hard to offend.
05/07/2012
badk1tty badk1tty
Quote:
Originally posted by JG24FanUK
Do you find it rude when as soon as someone finds out you are sick that they react by saying "Don't come near me." or "Stay away from me"?

I have this one friend who whenever I let them know I'm sick before they ask ...
I have 2 kids, I don't want sick people coming near me, because it always gets the kids sick, and it's awful for them.
05/07/2012
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I don't find it rude either. I am sorry but I catch colds quick I have a weak immune system. I do say I hope you get well before I go off and say don't get me sick. I would never be rude about it and it is always said with a laugh after. But all my friends who know me know that I get sick quick.
05/07/2012
Raigne Raigne
I spend more time warning well people away when I'm sick than warning sick people away when I'm well, but I still don't think it's rude. My body and my time are very valuable to me, and it's in my best interests to take care of them. Do I think it's insensitive to say 'stay away' before asking how you are? No. I do think it's insensitive to say 'stay away' and not ask how you are at all. Now, if illness were something trivial or petty, yes it would be rude.
05/07/2012
spineyogurt spineyogurt
Its not rude sickness is contagious!
05/07/2012
LovesAPoet LovesAPoet
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
I think it's rude to say it out loud - shows very little compassion and a lot of selfishness.

Cautious is being silent about precautions, not advertising them and make the sick person feel even worse.

It's a sort of ...
I agree. I don't mind if I'm sick and a friend keeps their distance. I do the same usually (whether I'm sick or they are). It's not like I'd try to get them sick. But if someone flat out just says "Keep your nasty sickness away from me!" not jokingly I might they're being rude. Expecially if it's a close friend or my partner.
I think as long as the sick person isn't all over you, it's not nessisary to make a big deal out of it.
05/08/2012
Falsepast Falsepast
Not rude at all to me.
05/08/2012
Rossie Rossie
I think it's perfectly normal. My husband and I both say that to each other when we're sick, and we'll purposely stay out of each others way, so hopefully nobody else in the house will get sick too. The most annoying thing are sick coworkers touching everything on other people's desk spreading their germs!
05/08/2012
MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by JG24FanUK
Do you find it rude when as soon as someone finds out you are sick that they react by saying "Don't come near me." or "Stay away from me"?

I have this one friend who whenever I let them know I'm sick before they ask ...
I would agree, its a bit rude to say it out loud. I would just do what you do and be cautious to stay away from them lol. I have kids, including a small child, so I try to make sure that I am careful who they are around. If one of them comes up sick, I usually make calls to let other parents know just in case.
05/08/2012
Total posts: 28
Unique posters: 27