So I Babysit the Neighbor's Kids...

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So I Babysit the Neighbor's Kids...

ToyGurl ToyGurl
I babysit the neighbor's kids after school on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Sometimes days in between. My issue is, my Eden packages always come at the same time they get off the bus. They always ask what it is, and I just say "It's my work stuff" because I recieve packages from work a lot too. However, they literally stand there trying to watch me open it outside my bedroom... OR... they snoop around for the box when I'm not looking, after I've put it away!

This is a major problem because usually, when I'm good with money or gift cards, I have about 2 or maybe even 3 boxes coming in the mail each week. And it's almost always getting here on a day that I watch them. The boxes usually come right when they are getting off the bus, but sometimes about an hour afterward. So either way, they see it.

So what do you all suggest I do about this? I can't have them finding my sex toys, or opening the box when I'm in the restroom or whatever. Should I use another method of shipping like USPS (even though it really sucks for me at my location) or should I slap the crap out of their hands?! I don't want to be too mean because I'm getting paid to watch them each day and it's a significant amount of my income right now since I'm between "real" jobs and only doing "work at home" stuff.

Should I tell their mum that they snoop through my closet and that I'm not comfortable with that, or would it be rude of me to do? I mean, they're only 9 and 10 years old... it's really not right to be snooping?

Maybe I've overreacting but ugh!
09/14/2011
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Rossie Rossie
Put the packages up high in your closet, and wait till they're gone before opening the boxes. If that doesn't work, then it's time to chat with their mom, this kind of behavior needs to be addressed. I believe kids that are 9 and 10 years old are mature enough to know what's OK or not, to do.
09/14/2011
Rockin' Rockin'
I agree with Rossie's suggestion of just waiting til you're done babysitting for the day before opening the boxes. Getting a large lockable box (like a chest, toolbox, or even a piece of luggage) might be your best bet for privacy if you have such a high number of products delivered each week and want to keep things hidden away safely.
09/14/2011
Hot'n'Bothered Hot'n'Bothered
I completely agree with what the others have already suggested. Good luck!
09/14/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
I've done a lot of childcare as well as raising my own kids. NO child should feel free to snoop in someone else's bedroom. I would first talk to them, as by their age, they should know better. Make it clear that your "work materials" are not toys and that they must stay out of your bedroom completely. Don't even let them play in there.

If they continue to snoop, bring it up nicely with their mother.

You shouldn't have to lock things up in your own house. Kids who are being watched by someone other than their own mother do need to learn that manners apply at the Day Care Provider's house, and that she has her own rule that they need to abide by.
09/14/2011
Miss Nessa Miss Nessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
Put the packages up high in your closet, and wait till they're gone before opening the boxes. If that doesn't work, then it's time to chat with their mom, this kind of behavior needs to be addressed. I believe kids that are 9 and 10 ...
I Agree!! They need to know limits. They are children and they are in YOUR home. They should be respectful. I'd have a talk with mom. Tell them this is MY personal stuff. If I say you can't look at it don't touch it. If it was something I want you to see, ill show you. They are old enough to understand.
09/14/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Nessa
I Agree!! They need to know limits. They are children and they are in YOUR home. They should be respectful. I'd have a talk with mom. Tell them this is MY personal stuff. If I say you can't look at it don't touch it. If it was something I ...
Yep.

If they continue to snoop, bring it up nicely with their mother. No need to tell her what is in the boxes (not only is it not her business either, but people can get weird about sex toys) but let her know you've had "some problems with some little children who don't seem to know that other people's belongings are not theirs to play with" and go from there. Keep it friendly with the mom, but let her know, and let the kids know, this will not be tolerated. You have the right to privacy in your own home.
09/14/2011
Kindred Kindred
Trick them by putting something like a fake severed hand in a box and let them open it. Yeah, my kids are going to be all screwed up.
09/14/2011
Antipova Antipova
I would say that it's completely within reason to have a "SecretToyLover's bedroom is off limits" rule. I was never allowed in my parents' room once I was done nursing (they're light sleepers so they'd hear a knock and rescue me from a nightmare and we'd all spend the night on the living room couch, if necessary), and kids you're babysitting have even less reason to be in your personal space. (My family is perhaps bigger on privacy than most, but I'm okay with that, and even grateful.)

But, yes, put the boxes in your room and don't open them while the kids are there. Another option---if you usually order on a Wednesday, just make your order on a Thursday instead? You've probably got a fairly good idea of how many days shipping to you takes, so do your best to schedule your package arrivals on days you haven't got guests.
09/14/2011
Ansley Ansley
Geez, between your parents and the kids you're right screwed aren't ya?

Seconding everyone else's suggestions. Kids need to learn boundaries and you're in the perfect position to teach them.
09/14/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
it would be a good idea to set some boundaries with the munchkins. nine and ten year olds know better than to snoop around if you tell them not to. if they continue to do so, tell their parent about it so this kind of of behavior should stop. you shouldn't have to lock up your own stuff in your house
09/14/2011
hjtee hjtee
Yes, definitely bring it up with a parent. Children that age *should* know better, and most likely, they don't act like that at home. It should be no exception at your house.
09/14/2011
Illumin8 Illumin8
I would either bring it up with their mom, or I would keep the boxes in a completely secure place until they're gone for the day.
09/14/2011
Kkay Kkay
I think that it'd be appropriate to talk to their mother about it. It'd be inappropriate behavior from them even if the nature of the packages was completely different. When talking to her, I'd put the emphasis on them not respecting rules about going through things in general instead of focusing solely on the packages.
09/14/2011
kate7771 kate7771
yes kids do need to know that it not right to try to be snoopy or even go into your bedroom since you they should not even go into you room to even to look around let them know it not appropriate to do so and ask them do you like other looking around there room and kindly let there parent know what they have been doing
09/14/2011
Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Privacy is sacred. Even nine and ten year-old kids can understand that. I knew at the age of three that I couldn't go in my brother's room unless he said it was okay. Same for my parents' closet around Christmastime. You need to be clear about your rules with them. If they persist, let their mother know.

You could lock your boxes in the closet (or even lock your bedroom door), but you shouldn't have to. Same for readjusting your ordering schedule. I'd consider these to be temporary solutions at best, while the kids are learning to respect your rules and privacy.
09/14/2011
Melissa Smith Melissa Smith
Yep get a lock for the closet or bedroom. or a locking file cabinet or box too.
09/14/2011
ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I've done a lot of childcare as well as raising my own kids. NO child should feel free to snoop in someone else's bedroom. I would first talk to them, as by their age, they should know better. Make it clear that your "work ...
I agree! I understand I should put the box up high in the closet, but I do that! I used to open some stuff. Like for instance, if I knew it was something not-so-sexual, like lubricant, an eye mask, a candle, etc. I never opened anything crazy sexual.

Even then I closed my door and locked it. I swear, no joke, they tried to pick the lock on time. And other times when I forget to lock it, they barge in and thanks to my awesome skills I am able to cover up everything with blankets before they grab the door knob.

I just feel that this is not proper behavior and if these were my kids I would smack their hands, take their nintendo's and ground them.
09/15/2011
ToyGurl ToyGurl
I hate the idea of having to lock things in my OWN HOME. I finally get settled in my own house and I have to lock things now? It's just ridiculous. It's not just the packages. They want to see anything and everything. I was in the shower today and they were looking through my bedroom drawers! That's effing ridiculous! And that happens to be where my sex toys were as of last week, until I moved them to a large chest under the bed. Think, what if they were in there?

I offered kindly to watch these children, and I do get paid for doing it, but it's still a kind offer to watch them and I think they should be kind in return.
09/15/2011
ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
Privacy is sacred. Even nine and ten year-old kids can understand that. I knew at the age of three that I couldn't go in my brother's room unless he said it was okay. Same for my parents' closet around Christmastime. You need to be clear ...
Me too, me too. I always knew my parents closet, even when it wasn't Christmastime, was off limits. I wasn't allowed to go through the file cabinet, I wasn't allowed to open mail unless it had my name on it, and my younger siblings weren't allowed in my room unless I invited them in.

Living with my roommate was another example. There were places she and I just didn't go. For example, the wooden chest at the end of her bed for her sex toys. I never once looked inside. Yes, she would show me her toys when she got them, but I never went looking for them. I would ask "Do you mind if I use your Hitachi? My back hurts really bad." but I never went and grabbed it.

I just don't feel like having to buy lock boxes! It's my house and this is ridiculous. I plan to talk to her tomorrow and I'm going to simply ask her to say "Can you please have a talk with the kids about going through my belongings? They have been snooping in my dresser drawers and my closet as well. It's not that I'm hiding anything but it's just my sense of privacy. All of my underwear and bras and whatnot are in there, and there's a lot of work files in the bottom drawers that are getting messed up due to their acts. So if you could let them know that that's not okay, I would be very thankful".

does that sound okay?
09/15/2011
Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I hate the idea of having to lock things in my OWN HOME. I finally get settled in my own house and I have to lock things now? It's just ridiculous. It's not just the packages. They want to see anything and everything. I was in the shower ...
As you're watching them, it's your responsibility to set boundaries for them, right? They're probably just waltzing all over the place because they have more 'freedom' with you than they do at their own home---so set out some realistic, reasonable expectations for them to follow, one of which is "no going in the bedrooms." Set some kind of age-appropriate punishment, like having to prepare their own dinner instead of you making it for them, or losing tv privileges if they have them.

If that doesn't work, discuss their refusal to follow the rules with their mother, and ask how she thinks you should deal with it. But, really---once you set up some house rules, they're probably going to realize that their era of free reign is over and respect your rules.
09/15/2011
Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Me too, me too. I always knew my parents closet, even when it wasn't Christmastime, was off limits. I wasn't allowed to go through the file cabinet, I wasn't allowed to open mail unless it had my name on it, and my younger siblings ...
I would take it up with the kids, and give them a chance to follow your rules and respect your boundaries, before taking it to their mother.

If they get a dressing-down from their mom for things they've done at your house, they're actually likely to respect you much less, and any rules you make in the future are going to be ignored too.
09/15/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
Trick them by putting something like a fake severed hand in a box and let them open it. Yeah, my kids are going to be all screwed up.
I love the difference between a "mom answer" and a "dad answer."
09/15/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I agree! I understand I should put the box up high in the closet, but I do that! I used to open some stuff. Like for instance, if I knew it was something not-so-sexual, like lubricant, an eye mask, a candle, etc. I never opened anything crazy ...
Well, I don't think smacking them would help if it was your own kids, but as a child care provider you DO have the right to enforce discipline. Time outs, no TV or computer time, letters home to mom, etc. These are things that should be initiated and known by the first day the kids came into your house. Now you have to undo some lax day care lack of rules, but it's doable.

I've done a LOT of day care. Saying "No." to someone elses kid and letting them know there are consequences for their actions is part of being a good day care provider. If the mom has problems with anyone reprimanding her little darlings for thug behavior (picking locks? WTF?) then I, personally, would find an other family of kids to watch, make sure you have a CONTRACT for the parents and make the ground rules on the first day and be completely consistent with them.

This probably won't be necessary. Let the kids know "There are some new ground rules. The rules are simple, I'll write them down and tell you about them. There will be consequences if you disobey the rules." Then state what the first second and third breaking of the rule consequences will be. In our house, the severity of the consequence increases, if I have to enforce rules more than once, or if I am ignored.

These kids have rules at school, at home, and they NEED to have them at your house too. Why should your house be any different? Children thrive on consistency and fail when they are left to their own devices, it sounds like these kids are testing you. Don't fail the test. Make consequences and be consistent about following up with them, immediately! With kids, the consequence needs to follow the misbehavior right away. If they break a rule, the TV goes off, or the hand held video game is taken away for a certain amount of time (I'd say 2 hours is good for going into your room, 4 hours for attempting to break a lock) Do the consequence immediately, don't EVER slack off on it, let these little thugs know you mean business. If they continue with the behaviors, talk to their mom a second time and if they still don't straighten up, find an other family to take care of.

These kids are taking advantage of you, they KNOW better and you have to be smarter and quicker than them to get your privacy back.

Don't just "expect" them to behave. YOU have to lay out the ground rules.

Good luck.
09/15/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I agree! I understand I should put the box up high in the closet, but I do that! I used to open some stuff. Like for instance, if I knew it was something not-so-sexual, like lubricant, an eye mask, a candle, etc. I never opened anything crazy ...
double post, sorry
09/15/2011
Ryuson Ryuson
I agree, 9 and 10 is old enough to know that they should respect people's privacy! Have you tried sitting them down and talking to them about it like adults?
09/15/2011
Dawn (Lilac Distraction) Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I babysit the neighbor's kids after school on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Sometimes days in between. My issue is, my Eden packages always come at the same time they get off the bus. They always ask what it is, and I just say "It's ...
I would seriously talk to their mother about that. I mean, imagine how much they snoop through her stuff!

You can also explain to them that the package is something private and that they need to respect that and that it is very bad manners not to.
09/15/2011
Ash1141 Ash1141
I like the lock box idea...especially a large piece of luggage with a little lock on it. I would also talk to their mother because snooping isn't good behavior. I would want to know if my children did this and they would get seriously reprimanded if they did.
09/15/2011
unfulfilled unfulfilled
At those ages they should be old enough to know better to respect other peoples privacy and stuff. I would mention it to their mother because us mothers want to know about our kids behavior. I'm sure she can understand for your need to keep things out of little hands and eyes.
09/15/2011
ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Well, I don't think smacking them would help if it was your own kids, but as a child care provider you DO have the right to enforce discipline. Time outs, no TV or computer time, letters home to mom, etc. These are things that should be initiated ...
Thanks for the help. I've never had kids (I was trying, but I can't right now) so I don't have the best experience. I've done my share of babysitting kids, but never any that I had these sorts of issues with. I was actually a nanny for 4 summers straight during high school and those kids were angels compared to these two.

I talked to their parents and guess what? She like totally blew me off! Or at least it seems that way. I simply told her that they were getting in my underwear drawers, knocking over the hubby's things, and picking locks when I'm changing or taking a shower etc. She looked upset but then said "I'm sorry... They're... they're kids you know? I'll talk to them. But I mean they're kids they act like that."

So what I'm guessing is they have little to no discipline at their home either. They act like angels around their parents though and the neighbors across the street used to watch them and they told me that the kids never acted like this.

I was ready to call it off but I'm taking your advice. I bought a dry erase board and I wrote down my rules nice and big, and tomorrow after school they're getting a big talk. I would never like hit them or smack them, they aren't my kids. But time outs are definitely going to be reinforced. If they want to act like babies they can get treated like babies.
09/16/2011
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