Like the title says. Just about everyday things that are very insignificant. Its finally really starting to get to me. Input?
So, my Wife is contantly negative about everything. Its getting very annoying after the past 10 years.
01/24/2013
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Perhaps you should talk with her about it?
Originally posted by
adamacc
Like the title says. Just about everyday things that are very insignificant. Its finally really starting to get to me. Input?
01/24/2013
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She knows, that she is negative about everyday things. We have talked about it. We have even seen the family doctor and a therapist about it before.
Originally posted by
Breas
Perhaps you should talk with her about it?
01/24/2013
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What about a couples councillor? That could possibly help.
Originally posted by
adamacc
She knows, that she is negative about everyday things. We have talked about it. We have even seen the family doctor and a therapist about it before.
01/24/2013
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Thats what we tried the first time. Which was... 6 years ago... I think. Recently went to the family doctor. Which he is pretty much a therapist for her. Helped, but still pretty much the same.
Originally posted by
Breas
What about a couples councillor? That could possibly help.
01/24/2013
Does she want to change at all? Nothing's going to stick unless she wants it to. (I speak from experience.)
01/24/2013
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I believe she does. Just that she doesn't know how. Its her outlook on situations that is the problem. Its usually the worst case scenario.
Originally posted by
Chilipepper
Does she want to change at all? Nothing's going to stick unless she wants it to. (I speak from experience.)
01/24/2013
Change usually takes continuous work and perseverance. Can I ask why the two of you are no longer seeing a counselor/therapist? Did your wife become more positive for a while??
01/24/2013
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Well thats a good question. We were seeing the therapist the last 6 months I was in the military. My wife moved home after we sold the house, I still had 6 months left. So obviously I had to stay. About 6 months after I moved home, things were good, but not after a pretty good argument. Things have been good again for a long time now. But this past year it has been pretty bad again. So then we went to the family doctor. My wife has anxiety attacks, probably once maybe twice a month, because of this. Its has been better lately, the past 3 months. But now its flaring up again.
Originally posted by
kdlt
Change usually takes continuous work and perseverance. Can I ask why the two of you are no longer seeing a counselor/therapist? Did your wife become more positive for a while??
01/24/2013
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Ah, the innate pessimism - "Prepare for the worst so you won't be surprised when it happens." It becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy that way. It's a very exhausting way to live, especially with all the negative "tapes" looping through the mind and continually going on and on about how nothing ever goes right. Found that sort of thinking was tied a lot into my lack of self-esteem and confidence.
Originally posted by
adamacc
I believe she does. Just that she doesn't know how. Its her outlook on situations that is the problem. Its usually the worst case scenario.
I can't vouch for it for everyone, but self-affirmations and yoga helped me tremendously. I also did confidence building exercises (learning from setbacks instead of wallowing in what went wrong) which helped me in recognizing that I do have control over situations and how I react to them. I'm not super positive pollyanna, but I'm slightly more balanced and more realistic when assessing situations in life.
I hope some of this helps in finding a direction to start in.
01/24/2013
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That is a great reply!!! I have tried to give just some small ideas, like yoga, to try to help her. If you have any other ideas on what might help, please let me know. I think, like you said, realizing she does have control over the situations would definitely help. I know it is something she has to do on her own. Its just kind of hard to tell her this, when she has this type of problem. Even though I have told her before. I guess I will figure out a way to tell her, without telling her.
Originally posted by
Chilipepper
Ah, the innate pessimism - "Prepare for the worst so you won't be surprised when it happens." It becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy that way. It's a very exhausting way to live, especially with all the negative "tapes"
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Ah, the innate pessimism - "Prepare for the worst so you won't be surprised when it happens." It becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy that way. It's a very exhausting way to live, especially with all the negative "tapes" looping through the mind and continually going on and on about how nothing ever goes right. Found that sort of thinking was tied a lot into my lack of self-esteem and confidence.
I can't vouch for it for everyone, but self-affirmations and yoga helped me tremendously. I also did confidence building exercises (learning from setbacks instead of wallowing in what went wrong) which helped me in recognizing that I do have control over situations and how I react to them. I'm not super positive pollyanna, but I'm slightly more balanced and more realistic when assessing situations in life.
I hope some of this helps in finding a direction to start in. less
I can't vouch for it for everyone, but self-affirmations and yoga helped me tremendously. I also did confidence building exercises (learning from setbacks instead of wallowing in what went wrong) which helped me in recognizing that I do have control over situations and how I react to them. I'm not super positive pollyanna, but I'm slightly more balanced and more realistic when assessing situations in life.
I hope some of this helps in finding a direction to start in. less
01/24/2013
Communication is key with ladies.
01/24/2013
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I understand, I can't believe how people want to waste so much time on stuff that doesn't matter??? I'm clueless
Originally posted by
adamacc
Like the title says. Just about everyday things that are very insignificant. Its finally really starting to get to me. Input?
01/24/2013
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I recommend cognitive/behavioral therapy. It's a very practical, down-to-earth set of techniques for overcoming problems like anxiety and depression. Here's some background and examples: link
Originally posted by
adamacc
That is a great reply!!! I have tried to give just some small ideas, like yoga, to try to help her. If you have any other ideas on what might help, please let me know. I think, like you said, realizing she does have control over the situations would
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more
That is a great reply!!! I have tried to give just some small ideas, like yoga, to try to help her. If you have any other ideas on what might help, please let me know. I think, like you said, realizing she does have control over the situations would definitely help. I know it is something she has to do on her own. Its just kind of hard to tell her this, when she has this type of problem. Even though I have told her before. I guess I will figure out a way to tell her, without telling her.
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I used to be very negative and, as a result, I suffered with depression and anxiety. Through cognitive/behavioral therapy, I learned that my negativity came mainly from my "internal dialogue", those involuntary thoughts that most of us are barely aware of. By learning how to recognize and challenge my automatic negative thoughts and reactions, I've learned to be a positive, happy and calm person.
I hope this will be of some help and I wish the best for both of you.
01/24/2013
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 7