Sorry but I need to get this off my chest.

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Sorry but I need to get this off my chest.

ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
I first found EF back in 2010, I was looking for a P-spot toy and Eden was the first site that showed up when I did a Google search. Not only did I find an ass load of toys to choose from, I also found this wonderful forum. It was filled with welcoming contributors that are more than happy to help out and give advice. The whole atmosphere was welcoming and I was so happy to find a place where folks could ask anything they wanted and not be judged based on their orientation, background, color etc. etc.

All this and free toys too, hell ya! Never had I dreamed that a site like this existed or that I would find a site like this with people from all walks of life that made me comfortable talking about stuff that I could not talk to my friends or family about.

Fast forward two years, many changes and lots of new faces. We not only enjoy all of these wonderful activities and perks but Eden has been gracious enough to add points for doing these things. This was the icing on the cake for me and to this day I cannot believe that a company would be so giving to its customers. Where else I ask you, can you find all this in one place?

Now to the point of all this. Since the points were added there have been numerous post, threads, discussions and what not that seem like they are nothing more than point farming, that is folks just trying to rack up as many points as possible. I do agree that some of them are doing just that but I see so many that are justified questions. An example would be the “Do you like this” type thread. As most of you know, there is always a box on a product page that reads “Start a discussion”, when I first saw this I figured this was how I asked about a product on the forums. In fact I used this for just that many times. There are times when a product does not have reviews that tell me what I need to know.

Is that not what it is for?

Lately I have seen all too often that a contributor will automatically say “read the reviews”, is this a welcoming attitude? Is this what we want newcomers to see when they ask questions? Do you ever think, "Boy that sure was nice of so and so to say, I bet that person feels really good now." (sarcastically) Honestly, I probably would have left with my tail between my legs and never came back to the forums.

How many potentially great contributors have we lost from comments like this? Y’all do know that this is a company that is in business to make money, right? How many customers has EF lost due to our actions?

Do y’all think we as a community can be a bit harsh at times? I understand that most of these threads are indeed spam or point farming but how do we know for sure? Can we read the minds of folks over the internet, what about when the person really wanted to know?

Something else that gets me, does everyone think that EF can solve these problems over night? Things like this take time to fix, have some consideration for the powers that be. There are other issues that EF has to deal with too. I may say they are gods but I know that they can’t just snap their fingers to fix things, let’s get behind them and support the work they do.

Sorry for the rant but honestly, I am starting to feel that the welcoming community that I fell in love with two years ago is losing its appeal. I know that we only want the best for the community and yes, the point farming can be too much at times, but how is chasing folks off going to help the problem. Why not just ignore the threads and let them fall to the bottom of the list, remarking that they should “Read the reviews first” or “You should do a search first” only keeps the thread on the main page, eh?

There are over 21,000 members of this community; I would think we could come up with a better way of dealing with this problem. Sure we may not solve the problem completely but I bet all my stainless toys we can do better than “Read the reviews”!

What about virtually extending our hand to these folks, welcoming them to the community and kindly showing them the way of Eden? Why is it that folks knock these people down instead of setting good examples for the newbies?

Please feel free to comment, after all, that is what the forums are for. I welcome your opinion and encourage y’all to do so. I am sure we can make this a better place that everyone will enjoy being a part of.

PS, don’t worry, I am not going anywhere. It will take a whole lot more than this to get rid of me.
04/24/2012
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Raigne Raigne
I am a member of a few other forums that instruct people to answer a question even when it's been asked before or the information can be found easily for just that reason. They don't want to alienate people who are new to the community or who might decide not to get involved in a particular hobby because they think the people in it are rude.

Some of those questions are obviously point farming, and some of them are asking for highly specific information that, even if it's in the reviews, would take a couple hours of dedicated reading to find on popular products. I think giving an answer and then directing people to the reviews is a good compromise.

For my own experience, I've only started one thread, and that was, like you, to ask a question about something I didn't find in the reviews. The first response I got was to the point and answered my question, and I was not told to read the reviews. So this doesn't happen all the time. I do think you have a very valid concern though.
04/24/2012
Bex1331 Bex1331
I totally agree
04/24/2012
Antipova Antipova
Thanks, Tim. I know how easily scared off I would have been when I was a newbie, and I want to be just as welcoming to the new folks today as people were to me when I was fresh on the site.

What do we get when we chase people away? No new friends! What's the fun in that?
04/24/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Raigne
I am a member of a few other forums that instruct people to answer a question even when it's been asked before or the information can be found easily for just that reason. They don't want to alienate people who are new to the community or who ...
Thank you. I agree it does not happen all the time but certainly enough that I bet some folks get that response.
04/24/2012
badk1tty badk1tty
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
I first found EF back in 2010, I was looking for a P-spot toy and Eden was the first site that showed up when I did a Google search. Not only did I find an ass load of toys to choose from, I also found this wonderful forum. It was filled with ...
I do agree completely with what you've said in your post here, Tim. But I've also seen the other side, too. I've had people who ask questions on a thread, and get dozens of responses and long, thought-out posts, only to never be seen from again in their own thread. To later pop up a few days later and start another thread with something and get an equal amount of responses and disappear, again.

I am not condoning the actions, because I try to be as helpful as I can in my own responses (unless it's just a quick response that's needed), and when I start threads I keep up on them. I just also have experienced a lot of point-farmers, too. Those people who down-rate without reading, even though you get a "great review!", or who have no positive anything to say, because as long as they get their .01-.20/c, they've done all they care to do. People are human, and I think it's easy to become jaded, and assume that a lot of people are just trying to rack up free toys. It's sad that the farmers have made it harder on the community as a whole to take new additions seriously.
04/24/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Bex1331
I totally agree
Thanks!
04/24/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Thanks, Tim. I know how easily scared off I would have been when I was a newbie, and I want to be just as welcoming to the new folks today as people were to me when I was fresh on the site.

What do we get when we chase people away? No new ...
That is what I am afraid of, scaring of awesome folks just cause they are new. Why on earth would we want that?
04/24/2012
Loriandhubby Loriandhubby
I agree. As a new comer I can say.... although some in the community have been so very very kind to me. Honestly. I just love my friends here. But to be totally honest about the community. I am scared to death to even post anything. like answering this right now.

Who am I going to piss off, will they vote down my reviews now, why do they not like me..

all of this plays in my head. Inviting... NO.... honestly. I feel like a fish out of water , i feel like most don't like me. and I feel alone ..

I love my mentor, and my past two mentors. then lets see. you and maybe 10 others and that may be a streach, are even nice enough to say hi or help me when i need it.. Sad isn't it.

Of course my first few weeks of reading reviews i had no idea what the voting did to a persons rating. I never voted lower just to vote lower. I was looking for information that was not provided. so i voted usefull. but i have been told that my early votes is what has made me an outcast here. idk, maybe just her opion.

IDK.
HUGS lori
04/24/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by badk1tty
I do agree completely with what you've said in your post here, Tim. But I've also seen the other side, too. I've had people who ask questions on a thread, and get dozens of responses and long, thought-out posts, only to never be seen from ...
I hear ya, and your right. Most of them are farmers, but if we can keep the good ones that are new and don't know better, it will only help the community.

My fear is that at some point EF may take away the points. Sure it may solve the problem (A lot of this stuff happened before the points) but we may lose some great potential contributors too. Not to mention the customers for EF.
04/24/2012
Loriandhubby Loriandhubby
Quote:
Originally posted by Loriandhubby
I agree. As a new comer I can say.... although some in the community have been so very very kind to me. Honestly. I just love my friends here. But to be totally honest about the community. I am scared to death to even post anything. like answering ...
ok now i'm offically totally regreating posting this. so sorry. i'm not trying to upset anyone i swear i'm not. i love EF..
04/24/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Loriandhubby
I agree. As a new comer I can say.... although some in the community have been so very very kind to me. Honestly. I just love my friends here. But to be totally honest about the community. I am scared to death to even post anything. like answering ...
First off, I am sorry you feel that way. That is just not right to me. We are an open welcoming community, to hear this just pisses me off even more. There should be no worries about asking a question or posting stuff to the forums.

Hugs back Lori.

Oh ya, if any one down votes you from this. First, send a message to the admins, then let me know; I break out the Eleven for ya.
04/24/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
I'm not a mean person and I try to say it nicely when I have said it. I say "please" read a review. I mean you have to look around and find things out on your own too, I'm not going to go read through reviews for every person to answer a question, especially one that is answered on the product page.

It is a little irritating at times and I'm sorry if that makes anyone mad here. But the ones that do it back to back to back, one after the other, clearly doesn't care enough or they would take the time to atleast SKIM over a review.

I'll just ignore those posts and shut up from now on. I didn't think anyone thought me or the others that responded there were rude/mean/harsh/ ect because I am not that at all. I like to help people, if they genuinely want help. To be honest I'm a little hurt/offended that someone has that view of us that did respond to those posts.......
04/24/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Loriandhubby
ok now i'm offically totally regreating posting this. so sorry. i'm not trying to upset anyone i swear i'm not. i love EF..
Please don't regret it, you should not worry about saying your peace at EF. Kind of the point with this thread, eh?
04/24/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Quote:
Originally posted by Loriandhubby
I agree. As a new comer I can say.... although some in the community have been so very very kind to me. Honestly. I just love my friends here. But to be totally honest about the community. I am scared to death to even post anything. like answering ...
You have NO reason to feel like no one likes you! That is just silly because from what I have seen people like you, you come here and give reviews that blow some of us that have been here longer out of the water! I am really impressed with your reviews and I like you . No one dislikes you here, I'm certain of this.
04/24/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Zombirella
I'm not a mean person and I try to say it nicely when I have said it. I say "please" read a review. I mean you have to look around and find things out on your own too, I'm not going to go read through reviews for every person to ...
I am not pointing any fingers and I am sorry if I sound like it. It's just this community advertises that all are welcome to learn and share experiences. When a newbie comes onto this site and start looking at products they may not know that the review can answer their questions, but they do see the Post a thread button on the page. So when a person uses something that is offered, how does that make them feel when they are told to just read the review? How is that welcoming?

I know all to well (remember, I have been around for two years, usually every day) that some of these folks never answer back, but what if they don't know how to get back to that question. My point is this, How do we know for sure they are just racking up points? A lot of those people I never see again. I have to wonder if we drove them off from our comments.
04/24/2012
Loriandhubby Loriandhubby
Quote:
Originally posted by Zombirella
You have NO reason to feel like no one likes you! That is just silly because from what I have seen people like you, you come here and give reviews that blow some of us that have been here longer out of the water! I am really impressed with your ...
you are so sweet. thank you so much!!!
maybe i just worry way to much.
It is very nice to know that i'm not a fish out of water. I really love EF, honestly, and I just want to help others with my review.

honestly you have no idea how you have touched my heart.
04/24/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Oh ya, I too am to blame as I have done it too, but now looking back I regret it. Treat others like you want to be treated is my new motto. Not just here but in life as well.
04/24/2012
wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by Zombirella
I'm not a mean person and I try to say it nicely when I have said it. I say "please" read a review. I mean you have to look around and find things out on your own too, I'm not going to go read through reviews for every person to ...
I honestly did it because I thought I was being helpful. When I said to the contributor writing the post, I simply said most of the time that they would get better results if they read the reviews and if the reviews didn't answer their questions then I thought the ones who had reviewed it would be happy to answer any other questions that they may have. Sorry if what Zombirella, I and others did was taken as scaring members off. I like it here and am glad that I am having a great experience here. Scaring people off is not what Zombirella or I were trying to do, trust me.
04/24/2012
Dawn (Lilac Distraction) Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
"Not only did I find an ass load of toys to choose from . . ."

That made me lol a little, but on a more serious note . . .

I have, on occasion, been one of the people to tell these posters that they can find more information by reading the reviews on the product, but I tried to come across in a way that wasn't threatening or harsh. There was one occasion where I said this to someone and they had a couple of questions that weren't in their main post that I answered for them. It was something about fur-lined cuffs versus leather cuffs and which one was better. I'm always helpful when I can be, but it does get really frustrating to see countless threads started simply asking "Is this good?" or "Has anyone used this?" then there are countless reviews on the item. Those are the only ones where I really tell people to look at the reviews. I just ignore all the others and have started to just care less and less. Hell, I barely even look at the most recently updated threads because it's all been clogged up with a bunch of junk and still continues to be even after the expectations of conduct got updated. People who are going to point farm don't care about reading that.

If the point farming behavior actually got handled there'd be less of all of this to worry about. Generally we're all really nice and supportive to people who aren't obviously abusing the system.
04/24/2012
Dawn (Lilac Distraction) Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
I am not pointing any fingers and I am sorry if I sound like it. It's just this community advertises that all are welcome to learn and share experiences. When a newbie comes onto this site and start looking at products they may not know that the ...
Oh, and maybe putting a character minimum for threads would be a good idea so we could get rid of the whole "I like it." "Cute." "Nice." and "Is this good?" threads. If you're going to start a topic you're usually going to at least explain what you're saying a little more than that.
04/24/2012
wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by Loriandhubby
you are so sweet. thank you so much!!!
maybe i just worry way to much.
It is very nice to know that i'm not a fish out of water. I really love EF, honestly, and I just want to help others with my review.

honestly you have no idea ...
From what I have seen around Eden ,LoriandHubby, you guys are liked by many and that includes me. You give great input and have been writing awesome reviews( which I need to make sure that I vote on when I see them ). Sometimes I just like to read through reviews and see what everyone has been doing lately without actually rating anyone. With an attitude like yours, seems to me that you just have to be yourself.
04/24/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by wrmbreze
I honestly did it because I thought I was being helpful. When I said to the contributor writing the post, I simply said most of the time that they would get better results if they read the reviews and if the reviews didn't answer their questions ...
Once again, I am not pointing fingers. This is something that has been going on since before the points started. Not just recent events, honestly this is something that has been building up in me for a long time.

For all I know it has not scared off folks, but what if it does? Do we want EF to lose those customers? These are the questions I ask myself every day as I only want EF to succeed and for the community to be as welcoming as it can be. I understand folks not wanting to go find a review and direct them to it, makes perfect sense. I just have to wonder what folks think when the use something offered and only get directed back to where they started.
04/24/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
"Not only did I find an ass load of toys to choose from . . ."

That made me lol a little, but on a more serious note . . .

I have, on occasion, been one of the people to tell these posters that they can find more information ...
I hear ya. I know we try to help when we can and that's just great.

But just the other day a newbie asked about a product, something about if it could be use for P-spot play. A contributor told them to read the reviews, the problem is that all the reviews were by female bodied reviewers that did not use it anally or on their male bodied partner. How does reading the reviews help there. This is the kind of thing that drives me nuts.
04/24/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
Oh, and maybe putting a character minimum for threads would be a good idea so we could get rid of the whole "I like it." "Cute." "Nice." and "Is this good?" threads. If you're going to start a topic ...
LOVE it! That would certainly help. Polished star for you.
04/24/2012
MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
I am not pointing any fingers and I am sorry if I sound like it. It's just this community advertises that all are welcome to learn and share experiences. When a newbie comes onto this site and start looking at products they may not know that the ...
Tim, for the longest time, that was my problem ( I didn't know how to get back to my posts. Especially because I had responded to so many after I posted mine-The "My Discussions" tab features ALL topics/threads that I had posted to including my own. Once I figured THAT out, (how to get to it in the first place lol) then I had to sift through all the posts that I had made to, rather than MY posts that I started. It was a little frustrating. So in the beginning, I was the same way. Sometimes, I'll start a discussion-to get things going on a topic, just to have something to chat about-And then I'll forget that I posted it LMAO.

As for driving away with comments-There have been a few times that I have felt totally ridiculous (by others comments that maybe were a little too harsh or I took them as being harsh-Im kind of sensitive like that) and I didn't keep the discussion going or respond to it for fear of causing more "dislike" within the community. So I kinda just shut up and went about my business with something else.
04/25/2012
MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
Tim, for the longest time, that was my problem ( I didn't know how to get back to my posts. Especially because I had responded to so many after I posted mine-The "My Discussions" tab features ALL topics/threads that I had posted to ...
To be honest, a new person might get a little confused by the forums. I had never been on a forum before-so trying to navigate this puppy took me a few weeks of actively clicking around. Then Trying desperately to find my way back to it lol
04/25/2012
Gracie Gracie
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
I first found EF back in 2010, I was looking for a P-spot toy and Eden was the first site that showed up when I did a Google search. Not only did I find an ass load of toys to choose from, I also found this wonderful forum. It was filled with ...
Thanks this was well said! Thanks for the reminder. I'm glad you felt you could vent here when you need to. It's nice to see you around more lately.
04/25/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
Tim, for the longest time, that was my problem ( I didn't know how to get back to my posts. Especially because I had responded to so many after I posted mine-The "My Discussions" tab features ALL topics/threads that I had posted to ...
I remember when I first found the forums. I was like OMG where the hell do I start. It literally took me two days to find the question I asked. Thankfully a contributor led me in the right direction. There was not FAQ link back then. If not for the nice person that helped me I may have just stayed away.

Thanks for sharing your experience, that is what I am afraid of. We all know that words on a screen do not always show emotion or sarcasm. I know that I have felt much the same way when I speak my mind and others "Sound" harsh with their comments about what I have said.
04/25/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Gracie
Thanks this was well said! Thanks for the reminder. I'm glad you felt you could vent here when you need to. It's nice to see you around more lately.
Thanks Gracie, good to be back more. I sure miss being around.
04/25/2012
Total posts: 141
Unique posters: 38