Strip Club aftermath

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Strip Club aftermath

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Contributor: Rod Ronald Rod Ronald
When my brother came to visit in June we kinda ran out of cool things to do. So after much discussion I decided to take him to a strip club. I don't really like these places, but I thought it would be fun so we went.
Since then he has felt quilty, and i don;t know why. He didn't get a lap dance, he didn't grab any boobs like a freaking cave man, but he still feels bad. I told him to just tell his wife and he'll feel better.
Is there anything else I can tell this kid that I haven't already, or is he just being a puss?
10/23/2012
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Contributor: mikeysPlace mikeysPlace
Sounds like he's overreacting to me. Or are he and his wife bound by some strict religious beliefs? If not, tell her. Honesty is this best policy. In the big scheme of things not much happened. He saw some breasts and some butts. No one touched anyone. But, if this is going to cause a huge big deal between he and his wife, I'd say let it rest and forget about it. As no one was really hurt.
10/23/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
My opinion when it comes to this stuff, is that just because your cousin feels guilty over his night at the strip club does not mean he has the right to unload his guilt and therefore the burden of his guilt onto his wife. She didn't do it, why should she have to deal with the aftermath, as you put it?

He has to swallow his guilt and move on - it's not like he was going around killing people or raping people or maiming them for life. So yeah, I think he's totally overreacting.
10/23/2012
Contributor: ShadowedSeductress ShadowedSeductress
Since he feels so guilty, it could have been something his wife previously mentioned not being okay with. I wouldn't go so far to call him a puss though...I personally think it's nice he feels guilty. That's not really the scene that's acceptable in my relationship.

I don't find anything wrong with it though, as long as all involved in the relationship are okay with it. I kind of agree with Stormy that his wife shouldn't have to deal with the mess. At the same time though if this is something she has already expressed a dislike for, imagine the mess it'll cause if she ever finds out.
10/23/2012
Contributor: Jesyra Jesyra
He's overreacting, unless he and his wife agreed prior to then that strip clubs were a no-go. If that's the case, he needs to be honest with her. She might not like it, but she'll like the lie by omission even less if she finds out by accident later on.

If they didn't make any such agreement, he needs to get over it. I've seen more skin on clothing optional beaches than I've seen in some strip clubs. He didn't touch or get touched, so I fail to see where the issue is.

As a side note, if it's solely moral/religious guilt, he should take it up with his priest/preacher and not his wife.
10/23/2012
Contributor: CaliGirl CaliGirl
Tell him to buck up and grow some balls lol.
10/23/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
About 10 years ago I would have flipped out and been all over my husband if he would have gone to a strip club. I was pretty insecure about my body image, my husband's fidelity level (he earned my insecurity), and our relationship was extremely rocky. I told him how I felt -at that point in time- about strip clubs and that is he wanted to go to them then he had best be prepared for the fallout. In other words--make sure his need to go and experience was worth the hell later. He did not go to one.

We have since repaired the faults in our relationship that contributed to my past feelings. I have matured, our relationship has definitely matured and his fidelity level is no longer questioned. We have talked about going to one together --not because either one of us has an issue, but for sharing our sexual adventures and how hot it is to watch each other get off.

Maybe your brother and his wife have not reached the point in their relationship--and maybe never will--where sexually related activities outside the marriage is understandable and acceptable.
10/23/2012
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
When my brother came to visit in June we kinda ran out of cool things to do. So after much discussion I decided to take him to a strip club. I don't really like these places, but I thought it would be fun so we went.
Since then he has felt ... more
find out what the guilt is about first.
10/23/2012