depends on the kid.
Teens and buying them toys...
08/19/2012
Quote:
I'm with you!
Originally posted by
PeachCandy
I'm very open with my children about sex and adult-related stuff but I think buying a 16 year old girl a vibrator is kinda crossing the line
08/19/2012
Nope.
08/19/2012
I think what Ryuson said about stress is right on target. I don't have kids, but I can tell you from my experience as a teenager that if I hadn't masturbated as much as I did to relieve my sexual frustration and stress, I would have sought out sex a lot sooner than I was ready for, like all the rest of my friends and classmates had. Thankfully, I waited until I was ready to have sex (because I was sated as far as my hormones were concerned) and that was at 20 with the perfect guy, and I don't regret waiting for a second.
I feel like the reason teenagers are having sex so early in their lives is simply because of these raging hormones that they don't know how to deal with. If they were more educated about sex, and maybe had something to help them along, they wouldn't have as much desire to have sex (and really, no one needs to have sex at that age; 16 is not even remotely mature enough to take on the responsibilities of a sexual relationship).
Despite this, if I were a parent, I wouldn't buy my daughter a vibrator unless she asked for it. I would talk to her about sex when the time came and if she decided that she wanted one, I would get it for her or help her pick it out if she was comfortable with that. If my mom had done that for me, I would have been very grateful.
I feel like the reason teenagers are having sex so early in their lives is simply because of these raging hormones that they don't know how to deal with. If they were more educated about sex, and maybe had something to help them along, they wouldn't have as much desire to have sex (and really, no one needs to have sex at that age; 16 is not even remotely mature enough to take on the responsibilities of a sexual relationship).
Despite this, if I were a parent, I wouldn't buy my daughter a vibrator unless she asked for it. I would talk to her about sex when the time came and if she decided that she wanted one, I would get it for her or help her pick it out if she was comfortable with that. If my mom had done that for me, I would have been very grateful.
08/19/2012
I don't understand why any teenager would need a vibrator.
Sure sex toys are great, but they're a great way to enhance an existing sex life, they're not something that anyone needs right off the bat. Once you've spent sufficient time exploring your body, both by yourself and with a partner, then is a good time to start looking to toys to see how they could improve things.
I can sort of understand women who may have spent years struggling to climax not wanting their daughters to go through the same thing, but in this day and age there are a lot more resources available, so these teens will inevitably discover them with ease. There's no real need to interfere and disrupt the natural pace, and anyway if these teens decide of their own accord that they want a vibrator, and they have jobs or allowances, then surely they should be paying for them themselves, even if they can't make the purchase directly?
Sure sex toys are great, but they're a great way to enhance an existing sex life, they're not something that anyone needs right off the bat. Once you've spent sufficient time exploring your body, both by yourself and with a partner, then is a good time to start looking to toys to see how they could improve things.
I can sort of understand women who may have spent years struggling to climax not wanting their daughters to go through the same thing, but in this day and age there are a lot more resources available, so these teens will inevitably discover them with ease. There's no real need to interfere and disrupt the natural pace, and anyway if these teens decide of their own accord that they want a vibrator, and they have jobs or allowances, then surely they should be paying for them themselves, even if they can't make the purchase directly?
08/19/2012
I answered "no," but not for any of the reasons that the OP discussed. I likely wouldn't do so out of sheer "eh, sex education is one thing, but I'd rather not be almost directly responsible for giving my children orgasms..." Then again, I don't plan on being a parent so I suppose you can take that with a grain of salt if that doesn't bother you.
However, I'd like to say that I don't think vibes and people really have to compete. As long as a person has informed and thoughtful attitudes toward sex, masturbation, sex toys, and the like, having a vibe shouldn't "ruin sex," especially given that sex and the use of vibes aren't mutually exclusive. After all, a person can just have sex WHILE using a vibe; it's not like that's never been done before. Anyway, I just don't like the idea that sex toys should be viewed as threatening.
However, I'd like to say that I don't think vibes and people really have to compete. As long as a person has informed and thoughtful attitudes toward sex, masturbation, sex toys, and the like, having a vibe shouldn't "ruin sex," especially given that sex and the use of vibes aren't mutually exclusive. After all, a person can just have sex WHILE using a vibe; it's not like that's never been done before. Anyway, I just don't like the idea that sex toys should be viewed as threatening.
08/19/2012
I don't think toys would ruin the first sex experience.
08/19/2012
I prob would.
08/19/2012
I don't think sex toys would ruin anyone's first sex experience. If anything, it would give the kid more empowerment over their own body and knowledge about what they enjoy and what they don't when it comes to sexual experiences. Besides, sex toys in isolation are very different from a sexual experience with another person. That being said, I would say fifteen would be a better age. I was way past experimenting by the age of fifteen. But I also have to say that this is only a good idea if used in combination with being very age-appropriately open with your child(ren) about what sex is, when you should do it, and safe sex and whatnot.
08/19/2012
Quote:
Ummm any one who believes that a vibrator is any competition for a man should stop and do a reality check! There's no competition...one vibrates with batteries and the other get's better with practice!
Originally posted by
Dixiemomma
A few of my fellow mothers have been talking lately about how they plan to buy their daughters a sex toy when they are about 16 yrs old to help with the whole "not having sex as a teen" thing. Now my child is only 5 yrs old so i have a
...
more
A few of my fellow mothers have been talking lately about how they plan to buy their daughters a sex toy when they are about 16 yrs old to help with the whole "not having sex as a teen" thing. Now my child is only 5 yrs old so i have a long time before i'm even concerned with it BUT i feel that it would ruin sex for them when the time does come. Like the poor boy that ends up with them will have to compete with a vibrator right off the bat.
What do ya'll think about this? Would you buy your teenage daughter her first toy? If other please explain.... less
What do ya'll think about this? Would you buy your teenage daughter her first toy? If other please explain.... less
Since I have a 16 year old I can say with conviction that a Mother should wait and be prepared to present her baby with a vibrator IF she asks! I have made it clear to my daughters (16 and 14) that if they desire a vibrator or even just a little clitoral toy I am willing to buy them their own...they are not welcome to use mine. They have indicated that if they see a need for sexual release that doesn't involve their own hands they will definitely know who to talk to!
My girls know that they don't want to have babies right now...having a two year old brother is fun enough! Apparently, I did not make it look glamorous and fun, the whole pregnancy thing. So we've discussed condom usage and waiting as options. Right now there are no serious contenders for boyfriend but when the time comes I'm sure their step father and I will panic and their dad will handle it all with outward calm.
Seriously though, I wouldn't try to make a 16 year old use a vibrator to avoid having sex as a teen but offer it as a way to get to know their bodies so that they build their own self confidence. When you know what makes you tick it's easier to feel more confident and comfortable.
I don't want my girls to fear sex, but to view it, and treat it, responsibly. Responsible and clear thinking teenagers tend to be trustworthy and know their own minds. They make good decisions for themselves and generally tend to be sexually responsible if we give them the tools to do so. One of those tools is self knowledge and confidence.
08/19/2012
If they asked
08/20/2012
If she asked. I probably wouldn't offer.
08/20/2012
I don't have kids, but if I did...
I wouldn't buy my daughter a vibrator without her asking for it. If she came to me and asked for it, then yes, I would.
I wouldn't buy my daughter a vibrator without her asking for it. If she came to me and asked for it, then yes, I would.
08/20/2012
Quote:
Right off the bat, I'll say that I don't think buying a teenager a vibrator is going to stop them from having sex. And if they feel they are ready for sex and know how to be safe, I don't think that them having sex as a teenager is a bad thing.
Originally posted by
Dixiemomma
A few of my fellow mothers have been talking lately about how they plan to buy their daughters a sex toy when they are about 16 yrs old to help with the whole "not having sex as a teen" thing. Now my child is only 5 yrs old so i have a
...
more
A few of my fellow mothers have been talking lately about how they plan to buy their daughters a sex toy when they are about 16 yrs old to help with the whole "not having sex as a teen" thing. Now my child is only 5 yrs old so i have a long time before i'm even concerned with it BUT i feel that it would ruin sex for them when the time does come. Like the poor boy that ends up with them will have to compete with a vibrator right off the bat.
What do ya'll think about this? Would you buy your teenage daughter her first toy? If other please explain.... less
What do ya'll think about this? Would you buy your teenage daughter her first toy? If other please explain.... less
Now, about buying a toy for them... I don't plan on having children, but if I did, I wouldn't get them a toy unless they told me that they wanted one, or if I found out they were using non-safe things as makeshift sex toys...
08/20/2012
I would not buy a 16 year old a vibrator, simply because they don't need one. When I was 16 an I was exploring my body I used my hands and the shower head. Hell when I was little no older then 2 I would stand under the water faucet with my vagina under it, my mom told me she always knew I would be a nympho. We were very open about sex and being safe. I would feel uncomfortable as a parent buying my child a sex toy even if they asked for it. They make it where you have to be 18 or even older in some states to buy sex toys for a reason. I believe whether you are the parent or not that it would be considered Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor, just the same way with cigarettes and alcohol. Just my thoughts though
To each their own if you want to buy your child a sex toy don't outright say "Hey let's go buy you a vibrator" even if the child asks about you getting them one I would still be iffy depending on their maturity level. I mean you would have to make sure they weren't going to tote it off to a friend's house while they were away, that they would keep the information to themselves. There is just so much that could be said or gone wrong with that. I didn't get my first toy til I was around 19-20 I want to say an I bought it from Spencer's and I was CARDED!
To each their own if you want to buy your child a sex toy don't outright say "Hey let's go buy you a vibrator" even if the child asks about you getting them one I would still be iffy depending on their maturity level. I mean you would have to make sure they weren't going to tote it off to a friend's house while they were away, that they would keep the information to themselves. There is just so much that could be said or gone wrong with that. I didn't get my first toy til I was around 19-20 I want to say an I bought it from Spencer's and I was CARDED!
08/20/2012
I would buy my 16 year old one if I had a daughter. I'd rather be more aware about what she's doing and to me the more she's using the toys, the less she's using a real penis. Not saying she won't have sex, but I'd rather her turn to her toys and be mature about her urges than go and have impulsive sex just to relieve herself.
08/20/2012
Quote:
Haha. I used to use the bathtub faucet xD Man those claw toe tubs had power in em!
Originally posted by
*Camoprincess*
I would not buy a 16 year old a vibrator, simply because they don't need one. When I was 16 an I was exploring my body I used my hands and the shower head. Hell when I was little no older then 2 I would stand under the water faucet with my vagina
...
more
I would not buy a 16 year old a vibrator, simply because they don't need one. When I was 16 an I was exploring my body I used my hands and the shower head. Hell when I was little no older then 2 I would stand under the water faucet with my vagina under it, my mom told me she always knew I would be a nympho. We were very open about sex and being safe. I would feel uncomfortable as a parent buying my child a sex toy even if they asked for it. They make it where you have to be 18 or even older in some states to buy sex toys for a reason. I believe whether you are the parent or not that it would be considered Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor, just the same way with cigarettes and alcohol. Just my thoughts though
To each their own if you want to buy your child a sex toy don't outright say "Hey let's go buy you a vibrator" even if the child asks about you getting them one I would still be iffy depending on their maturity level. I mean you would have to make sure they weren't going to tote it off to a friend's house while they were away, that they would keep the information to themselves. There is just so much that could be said or gone wrong with that. I didn't get my first toy til I was around 19-20 I want to say an I bought it from Spencer's and I was CARDED! less
To each their own if you want to buy your child a sex toy don't outright say "Hey let's go buy you a vibrator" even if the child asks about you getting them one I would still be iffy depending on their maturity level. I mean you would have to make sure they weren't going to tote it off to a friend's house while they were away, that they would keep the information to themselves. There is just so much that could be said or gone wrong with that. I didn't get my first toy til I was around 19-20 I want to say an I bought it from Spencer's and I was CARDED! less
Also, I would only get her one if we bright it up. My mom bought my first one, but that was while we were at a sex toy party. And I was 16. But my mom and I are very open when it comes to sex topics. I've had sex and it in no way compares, but toys do still feel great but in a different way.
08/20/2012
If they want one yes, if not no
08/20/2012
No way for me. I would just give her the right values and the information she needs. A vibrator would just open her mind to sex and make her try new things, imo.
08/21/2012
idk but let me tell you im 23 and just discovered sex toys for guys and my depression and stress is alot less. I use to have to see a terpaist and take meds but it never worked. idk about girls but in my opinion every boy should be given a masturbaor they will be less stressed and not get in trouble as much.
08/22/2012
It has nothing to do with giving them a toy or a boob job. It has to do with being comphortable with themselves, and confident to know that although sex at 16 or 19 might feel good, sex is a part of life, that if you are not ready for you can bring on difficult consequences.
Teens always have and always will find ways to get off, there is no need to "buy your daughter a toy" to try to bribe her out of sex.
Teens always have and always will find ways to get off, there is no need to "buy your daughter a toy" to try to bribe her out of sex.
08/22/2012
When my son was 18 I had found his "can" fleshlite in his bedroom, I told him great. Use it!! you can't get it pregnant and it wont give you any diseases and it can bring you pleasure. I don't have any daughters but they seemed to be maturing and I felt that we had that type of relationship I would offer to get her one.
08/22/2012
I don't know if I would. I don't have a daughter but I do have a son. I think when he is old enough to know what sex is I will talk to him about it and try to communicate and be open with my son. I would want my son to be able to come to me and talk about anything and everything.
I don't know if I would buy him a toy but I know my boyfriend would buy him one.
I don't know if I would buy him a toy but I know my boyfriend would buy him one.
08/22/2012
I wouldn't buy my daughter a toy.
08/22/2012
Speaking from the child's perspective, I'm close with my mom and all, but it would've freaked me out to get one from them back when I was sixteen. In fact, that was almost a decade ago and I still don't ever want to get one from her.
08/22/2012
I'm not sure I would be buying my 16 year old daughter toys. I believe if you are have an open relationship with her you will be able to better decide at that time. As is mention here 16 may be to late and toys may not stop sex.
08/23/2012
Total posts: 56
Unique posters: 50
- 1
-
2