The Most Discreet Sex Toy of All Time

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The Most Discreet Sex Toy of All Time

Gary Gary
I don’t know why I started thinking about this, but here goes …

After reading lots of toy reviews, I realized that a lot of women talk about concealment and travel as significant factors in a lot of the toys that they review and it got me thinking. At first a few thoughts came to mind about why you would want or need to bring this stuff with you. Up until this point, I had really not thought very hard about it then it dawned on me. For a lot of women it is extremely hard to get off without some of these toys and that’s why it is so relevant if they are travel friendly. So beyond the concept of having a wild time everywhere you go, the necessity of it is very real. A lot of the time masturbation helps us all maintain our sanity! Ok, I am a little slow sometimes but I still get there.

Please try to stay with me here as I attempt to explain something through my thought process, which is not really logical or linear. The main factors that have brought me to the question that I have yet to ask are…

One of the reviews I was reading today specifically mentioned something about a toy being good for travel and then I found myself wondering if women would bring discreet sex toys along camping, or indiscreet depending on the situation I guess. That’s when I had one of the greatest comparative realizations of my life. Guys carry an effective masturbatory tool with them everywhere they go. I took a step back, crossed my arms and started nodding. I’m not saying that it feels or works better than having sex or using toys, but it is very reliable. It requires no batteries, no discretion, and not really any effort to use no matter where you are. There is nothing more refreshing than gaining a new perspective.

Ok, for the final random and seemingly unrelated thought, let’s all think about the Empire Strikes Back. So, Luke and Darth Vader are having a little tiff and then Luke loses his hand. By the end of the movie, Luke has a new prosthetic hand that even to him feels real.

So ladies… the true question here is: in the future, when this and many more advanced technologies are available to all of us on a consumer level, would you swap out one of your real hands for a super ultra-mega hand that took care of all of your sexual needs and desires?

In the not as distant future, the predecessors to my imagined ‘Ultra-mega hand’ technology will likely be just as functional, but not be as visually appealing. Perhaps something like Trap-Jaw’s prosthetics, from the cartoon He-Man. But keep in mind, this does require you having your real hand removed and would include all of the risks that accompany any medical procedure. Would you do it?
02/12/2009
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Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Dude, fuck yes I would. It'd be the ultimate vibrator, and it'd have a warranty "until death do ye part."
02/12/2009
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
You know.. I don't know
02/12/2009
Mariye Mariye
I never really found the cyborg thing appealing, but I suppose if I lived in an age when it were more common than sure, I'd go with that.

But could a cyborg hand ever compare to the softness that is a real woman's hand?
02/12/2009
Nashville Nashville
I'm a technosexual- I would SO fuck a robot.. masturbating with a cyborg sci-fi hand would be the shit- I'd trade in one of these bad boys in an instant.. also, a robotic hand would probably guarantee I'd be a better guitar player.. cuz well, I can't get any worse.

A supertronic metal hand with crazy circuitry and expensive ass wiring would mean that I could probably shred a mean guitar and double click my mouse like there was no tomorrow.
02/12/2009
Dragon Dragon
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
I don’t know why I started thinking about this, but here goes …After reading lots of toy reviews, I realized that a lot of women talk about concealment and travel as significant factors in a lot of the toys that they review and it got me thinking. At ...
You have a blog? Write non-fiction? I need to go check because I absolutely love the convoluted warped and unique way that your mind works and travels. You make connections. That's how I think, and nobody seems to understand.

As for your post, couldn't care less. As long as my hand works, it actually works better than most toys! So no... Besides, there might be issues with my ability to touch and feel someone else.
02/12/2009
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Haha--great post! I seriously love reading the stuff you write on here.

Would I trade in my hand for an awesome, multi-functional one? No. It's a really cool idea, but I like to avoid surgery whenever possible. I just love my body to trade in any parts for cool functions. The only reason I've ever had surgery before was for necessity--impacted wisdom teeth. Besides, I'd worry about the things that DBD mentions, and also if the prosthetic would negatively affect energy channeling (or vice versa, since techniques categorized as "psychic" are said to mess with electronics).

And what if I were stranded on an island and the batteries or whatever power source ran out/was damaged? Just too many complications! I love my hands the way they are, even if they are clumsy sometimes and not as strong as I'd like them to be.

Still... Ultra-mega hand might give awesome massages...
02/13/2009
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Quote:
Originally posted by Mariye
I never really found the cyborg thing appealing, but I suppose if I lived in an age when it were more common than sure, I'd go with that.

But could a cyborg hand ever compare to the softness that is a real woman's hand?
If we can create toys that compare to the softness of a woman's sweet, sweet pussy, we can mimic her hand no problem!

And now that you mention it, SD, a robotic hand would probably help me type faster. I could get rid of this Bakhtin bullcrap in half the time...oooooh, fantasies!
02/13/2009
Sammi Sammi
I don't know if I would. I'm not big on surgery, but you bet if I lost a hand in an accident. Actually, really, only a bionic finger would be necessary...
02/13/2009
Jimbo Jones Jimbo Jones
I know you are not asking for a man's opinion, necessarily, here, but I would like to mention that to purposely become an amputee would be a very extreme decision. In my mind's eye, I can see a day where that type of thing might happen, but it is hard to believe that people would willingly make that kind of decision. I mean, people make the statement "I'd cut off my right hand for..." but they are just trying to give weight to their desire. I think it would take one hell of an incentive to get me to go that direction. If my hand wasn't functioning properly, I guess I could see it, but to give up a perfectly functioning, pain-free hand for a robotic appendage is pretty crazy to consider, in my opinion. Interesting thought, though.
02/13/2009
Gary Gary
These are all very interesting points!

First off, just to clarify what I was specifically envisioning, (the ‘Ultra-mega hand’) if it were like the prosthetic hand from the end of the Empire Strikes Back, I imagine that it would look, feel, and respond to stimulation EXACTLY the same as a regular hand.

The wonderful responses to this absurd thread did get me to thinking, would I do it? Well… I do and have avoided all things medical, at all costs, my entire life. I was told 17 years ago that I need to have my wisdom teeth taken out within the next year or all kinds of badness would be in store for me. I didn’t listen. My teeth are still straight, but I can feel the wisdom teeth pushing out of weird places in my jaw…oh and the terrible headaches. So, I personally would probably not follow through with getting this type of procedure done. I am all for it and I would be envious of anyone who had it done, but I do not think that I would have it done. If this meant that 100% of all sexual gratification came to an end in my life, I could see the possibility of experiencing some form of temporary insanity from the building tension, and that could make me reconsider. Nevertheless, this would probably have to be a now or never situation, not the type of thing that gets marked on the calendar for 8 weeks of dread until the big day scenario.

One thought that I had regarding the actuality of someone going through a procedure such as this was about how people do elect to have cosmetic surgery, boob jobs, lap bands or a gastric bypass, and even sexual reassignment. So it is not totally unrealistic to think that someone might go for the ultimate in sexual fulfillment prosthesis. Severe body modification has become pretty normalized in our society.

To address some of the other great points made… yes, I would have sexual relations with both cyborgs and robots, and even though I can already shred a mean guitar solo, you could always shred even more. As far as blogs go… I wrote some stuff in a myspace blog about one of my jobs called Tales from the Pornstore, but I have been planning on setting up a real blog on my existing website. I have been going back and forth with my webhost as to gaining certain administrative access that I should already have, so that I can install blog software. It is not a huge priority but I am pretty excited about it eventually happening.
02/13/2009
Tuesday Tuesday
I like Sammi's bionic finger idea. I'm surgery-phobic too though so I'm sure I would only consider it if I lost a finger accidentally.
02/13/2009
Gary Gary
Hmm... bionic finger, not a bad concept. What about an extra set of arms?
02/17/2009
Sammi Sammi
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
Hmm... bionic finger, not a bad concept. What about an extra set of arms?
An extra set of arms would be cool if they could retract so no one would notice them, otherwise they wouldn't be too discreet.
02/17/2009
zeebot zeebot
Hmmmmmm.....maybe! If I'd lost the hand already, DEFINITELY, but I'm rather fond of my hands.

Plus, would I be able to knit with it? Because that's essential.
02/15/2011
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 11