The Theories of Beer and the Buffalo!?

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The Theories of Beer and the Buffalo!?

PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
When it comes to beer, consider these profound quotations:

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy...” -- Benjamin Franklin

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed! Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver!" -- Babe Ruth

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." -- Lyndon B. Johnson

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" -- George Bernard Shaw

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." -- Paul Horning

BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.! -- W. C. Fields

Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser. -- Professor Irwin Corey

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:
"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers...”

So just for fun, do you drink beer based upon anyone of these or other particular Theories?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Yes: my theory is. . .
No: are you kiddin’
Taylor , PassionateLover2 , wdanas
3
Maybe I have one, but I’m not tellin’
Badass
1
To improve my brain
I just want to be happy!
Gunsmoke , AshMegYo , Terri69 , Bullfroggy and Rose , Gracie , PassionateLover2 , Allstars316
7
To have sex
dv8
1
To go to Heaven
To help support full employment
Other:
spunkmonkey
1
Total votes: 13 (12 voters)
Poll is closed
06/23/2012
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spunkmonkey spunkmonkey
I have never drank before.
06/23/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I enjoy beer - perhaps more than I should. I especially enjoy 1-2 with dinner to relax after a long day at work.

Even if none of the above theories hold up - beer has gotten me laid and supported many jobs. Going to heaven - I hope so - as for making me smarter, I doubt it - it has however made me more patient.
06/23/2012
AshMegYo AshMegYo
I don't drink beer, its just not my things. Lol I prefer fuity drinks.
06/23/2012
Taylor Taylor
I don't drink, but these were pretty funny.
06/24/2012
Bullfroggy and Rose Bullfroggy and Rose
thanks for the laugh
06/24/2012
Gracie Gracie
I love your quotes! I'm not a big beer drinker, but there are times when it is just the thing to do.

Here is my beer quote. Always drink the beer at a frat party.
06/24/2012
Badass Badass
Those were awesome. I had giggles. Very giggles, not that online conversation LOL where you are still sitting there straight faced. I laughed out loud, for real, about the buffalo and the brain.
06/24/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
I don't drink alcohol at all. But, those were really cute quotes. I especially like Babe Ruth's.
07/23/2012
Total posts: 9
Unique posters: 9