Originally posted by
Interesting posts. I don't believe in beating a child for any reason. I do believe in being able to discipline them if they need it. I know people that have had CPS thrown in their lives for nothing more than just a word from someone else. I do
Interesting posts. I don't believe in beating a child for any reason. I do believe in being able to discipline them if they need it. I know people that have had CPS thrown in their lives for nothing more than just a word from someone else. I do believe that if my child puts themself or someone else in danger by their actions that I should be able to pop them on their ass, get their attention and deal with an unsafe situation without fear of being reprimanded in court or have them tied up in a system that so obviously does not work well.
That being said, It does bother me when I see someone in a store smack their child for something so trivial as asking for a candy. Makes me want to pop them upside the head! That is the kind of parent that makes it even tougher for people that are trying to raise their children to become respectable, responsible adults.
We'll have to agree to disagree.
I don't think there are any
reasons to hit children. There are better ways to get their attention. Hitting only has short term effects, which then leaves you with resentful, scared and eventually disobedient children. This is actually proven by research. Physical punishment doesn't work LONG TERM. All kids do is learn ways to NOT GET CAUGHT, so they don't get hit. Then they go about their merry way, doing whatever they like, just so they know they won't get caught. That's ALL hitting does. EVER.
Good discipline teaches kids HOW to act, by Modeling, teaching them to think, timing then out, taking away privileges, etc. All hitting does is stop them in their tracks for a second or two, and eventually becomes unworkable and ineffective and loses it's impact, as you have admitted you have found
I've raised 3 kids, two to adulthood. Only one "ran into the street", once. She was reprimanded, but NOT HIT! She didn't do it again. My other kids never ran into the street. (Why it is always "running into the street" that people use to OK hitting? One of my kids actually put a butter knife into an electrical socket (well almost) and My Man was able to get to her first, let her know it was NOT an OK thing to do, tell her it could kill her and then she got a Time Out and had a toy taken away for one day. She NEVER put a knife into a light socket again. HOW did that NOT work
? Did it work LESS than hitting her would have? Absolutely not.
I can't see how physical violence "gets their attention" any better than eye contact
and paying attention to them does. The problem is, kids who get hit get jaded and think "That's all she can do to me. LOL!" Then, when they become teens, they use the hitting against you, and you have NO other, more effective parenting skills to discipline them with
The word Discipline
comes from the Latin "To Teach
" NOT "to hit." There are plenty of ways to discipline
kids without physical violence. Discipline
is certainly allowed in Texas, one just has to get the link between "discipline" and "violence" from being connected in their heads AND in PRACTICE.
Does CPS come to your house if you dock allowance? How about if you take away privileges? Does grounding the kids get CPS up in your house? How about putting the video game player in the attic or the garage for a set period of time after misbehavior, if they aren't doing what you like? CPS gonna come for that? My guess is no. The only thing they don't want you doing is hitting or locking kids up
ALL other forms of discipline, of which are myriad, are still available to you and everyone else.
What manner of child rearing strategy, besides Hitting, are you "not allowed to do?" I can't think of ONE (besides locking kids up) that any Child Protective Services would get involved in. I've never heard of DCFS knocking on someone's door because the kid got grounded for 3 weekends, or had their video game taken away or had extra chores added as discipline.
But, I guess we're going to have to agree to disagree about that.