Value of virginity

Contributor: Moein Moein
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I'm sorry, but just because something is part of someone's "culture" doesn't mean it's right or true. The United States, as well as other countries had slavery and racism as part of it's "culture" for hundreds ... more
Dear P'Gell
All the previous proverbs talk about loosing virginity in other way than marriage. This is just a notice about your comment for Arminian proverb.

About (virginity as an artificial construct),, Is verginity a man made? No,
It has a purpose like any other (sexual) organs in our bodies. So, if it has no (values) or worth nothing, then: why is it there?

Believe me even atheist person will stop a long time to find an answer for this question. Can you?
11/12/2011
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Virginity means a lot to me now that I've lost it.
11/13/2011
Contributor: Moein Moein
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
Dear P'Gell
All the previous proverbs talk about loosing virginity in other way than marriage. This is just a notice about your comment for Arminian proverb.

About (virginity as an artificial construct),, Is verginity a man made? ... more
Just to make things clear:

I ment (Hymen) as a Virginity organ. So I need to re-write the question as follow:

If Virginity has no (values) or worth nothing, then: why is Hymen found there?
11/13/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
Your questions about men verginity are rights, it is the same value also. If he is a virgin then he is a responsible man who respects his future wife and marriage life.

I just want to add:
Virginity is the most important issue in Msn ... more
I like to think most EF folks respect others' views. We can all have a discussion on your views respectfully, and respectfully disagree with them.

EF is certainly not just for US citizens. Even if it were, excluding others for their ideas would not be a part of it.

Many of us have a more open-minded idea about sex which in my experience has lead to greater happiness, personal acceptance, and healing for both the man and the woman. If I lived in a society with the idea you are speaking of as a predominant practice, I think I would go nuts. It's simply not natural to stifle your sexuality. We ARE all animals as well, you know. This is not to say we should go around killing others for sport, as some animals do, as this is morally, basically twisted.

Sexuality, however, when shared by two consenting adults, harms no one. On the contrary, it creates a bond between two people. In my experience, it is a gift of divine sorts, sexuality, and should be cherished as such. This means respecting another's boundaries, stopping when someone says no. This does not mean only having sex with your husband, after you're married. You must try on a shoe before you buy it! Sexual compatibility is an integral part of any romantic relationship. You can't know if you're compatible with someone until you've had a relationship with them. Same as you can't know if you're sexually compatible until you've had a sexual relationship. This is my belief and experience.
11/13/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
Dear P'Gell
All the previous proverbs talk about loosing virginity in other way than marriage. This is just a notice about your comment for Arminian proverb.

About (virginity as an artificial construct),, Is verginity a man made? ... more
virginity is not a body part, or anything like it. it IS a man-made concept meaning "never having had sex."

if you're speaking of the hymen being broken, this can be (and has been, myself included) done by falling on a horse, a bicycle, or using a tampon. I myself lost my hymen at age 13 after using a tampon for about the 100th time.

The lack of a hymen does not make someone not a virgin. being raped doesn't make someone not a virgin either. it's what it means for you personally.
11/13/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
I'm going to be the odd one out here, and say that although virginity should have no cultural meaning, if it has a personal meaning, it has every right to. Also, although I had sex well before marriage, it wasn't to "test drive" for compatibility, it was because I don't believe in marriage to begin with and I'd already decided that I wanted to spend my life with my lover.

Anyway, not everyone is even born with a hymen, and only 40-odd percent of women still have theirs when they reach adulthood.

On another note, very very few animals besides dolphins and primates will kill for sport... I just thought I'd throw that out there. Most animals will only kill for food or survival.
11/13/2011
Contributor: GenderSexplorations GenderSexplorations
The way I see it, virginity state of mind. A state of anticipation, trepidation, and expectation of the unknown. Someone can have that state of mind more than once in their lives if say they find someone with whom they connect and they have that anticipation and trepidation.
11/13/2011
Contributor: FemmeFlo FemmeFlo
I wanted to lose my virginity to someone who cared about me, and I did. Now we are no longer a part of each other's lives, for various reasons. I felt no regrets at the time, but now I do. If I hadn't slept with him, then my current boyfriend would be the only person I had ever slept with, and I really wish that I could have given him that gift, of being my first, because he is definitely my first love.

I've always been ravenously self-sexual, so I don't see my sexuality as starting when I first had intercourse. And I still prefer exploring aspects of my sexuality on my own before I try them with a partner. Like with anal. After my first, stupid experience with it, I learned how to play around back there with lots of different toys, and now I feel I'm ready to try it again. I had experienced penetration before I ever had sex, from a vibrator. Physically, it wasn't a big deal. It was the emotional aspect of losing my virginity that's so damn complicated.
11/13/2011
Contributor: Moein Moein
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
virginity is not a body part, or anything like it. it IS a man-made concept meaning "never having had sex."

if you're speaking of the hymen being broken, this can be (and has been, myself included) done by falling on a horse, a ... more
No No No, it is clear that when we talk about losing verginity before marriage is only by (sex), even by sex toy, finger play, or due to intercourse, because virginity is a visical+spirtual combination, and you can't separate them.

If Virginity is lost after marriage, the woman will keep proud all her life. Vise versa, losing verginity (by sex) before marriage will make the spirtual feeling falls down, and she will lost the great feeling of virginity. This is what this post about..

Again I wish any one can give me a clear answer for my previous question:
If Virginity has no (values) for human or worths nothing, then: why is Hymen found?
11/14/2011
Contributor: Cherrylane Cherrylane
Only in the socially constructed imagination.

Same as it ever was.
11/14/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
No No No, it is clear that when we talk about losing verginity before marriage is only by (sex), even by sex toy, finger play, or due to intercourse, because virginity is a visical+spirtual combination, and you can't separate them.

If ... more
i dont think you fully read what i was saying, or understood.

the hymen doesn't have a lot to do with losing your virginity.

as i said, i lost mine long before having sex. many people do. i even posted a poll about it that you can read below.
link


many women reported losing their hymen due to a bicycle accident, falling on a horse, etc. i lost mine with a tampon.

check out this sex fact thread too about the hymen:

link
11/14/2011
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
No No No, it is clear that when we talk about losing verginity before marriage is only by (sex), even by sex toy, finger play, or due to intercourse, because virginity is a visical+spirtual combination, and you can't separate them.

If ... more
Hi Moein,
I do not claim to know for certain why the hymen exists, but I have a hypothesis that is based in evolutionary theory. Here are my thoughts from a scientific perspective (and yes, I am an atheist):

I think that the hymen is just another feature of the (female) human body that still exists because it is evolutionarily beneficial. I think it helps with survival in some way.

How could it help with survival? The hymen is a membrane that acts as a barrier near the opening of the vagina. This membrane could keep out bacteria and debris from a young female's vagina. This would keep the female healthy because there is less chance of infection. Over time as the female matures, the membrane breaks down, whether due to stretching, activity, or penetration. The hymen would break down around the time when the female becomes fertile. At that point there is more benefit to reproducing and furthering the species than there is in keeping infection out.

So, to me, there is no social value in the hymen. It is just another feature of the female human body that helps keep them healthy.
11/14/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
No No No, it is clear that when we talk about losing verginity before marriage is only by (sex), even by sex toy, finger play, or due to intercourse, because virginity is a visical+spirtual combination, and you can't separate them.

If ... more
Sometimes there is no hymen found, the hymen can be broken and gone before anyone has time to check it is there. It is just a piece of skin, how is that valuable?
11/14/2011
Contributor: GonetoLovehoney GonetoLovehoney
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
Sometimes there is no hymen found, the hymen can be broken and gone before anyone has time to check it is there. It is just a piece of skin, how is that valuable?
Indeed, I lost that useless piece of skin when I crashed my bike into an electric fence. I'm rather glad I didn't have that when I decided to have sex for the first time. Also, a woman's period can slowly wear it away.
11/14/2011
Contributor: Nothere Nothere
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
Dear P'Gell
All the previous proverbs talk about loosing virginity in other way than marriage. This is just a notice about your comment for Arminian proverb.

About (virginity as an artificial construct),, Is verginity a man made? ... more
You know what, I think that you're both right. Personally I value virginity. I think of it less as a religious imperative, but more of a personal choice. I would not think any less of a person who decides to not value virginity. I think that sexual freedom is wonderful and liberating. Sexual experience, like all experience, is a good thing. But, I think that there is something special about having a 'one and only'.

Just my 2 cents
11/14/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
Dear P'Gell
All the previous proverbs talk about loosing virginity in other way than marriage. This is just a notice about your comment for Arminian proverb.

About (virginity as an artificial construct),, Is verginity a man made? ... more
I'm an atheist and I don't think the hymen is meant for anything but a little piece of tissue... which we have thousands of all over the body. Just because it's placed in the vagina doesn't mean anything special at all. sorry, you'll need a better argument than that.

p.s. my hymen was wayyy gone when I had sex at 15. i fell off a chair, and POP! went my hymen. you'd be surprised how often women lose it when they are partaking in non sexual activities.
11/14/2011
Contributor: KrazyKandy KrazyKandy
I wouldn't want to lose my virginity to a stranger but instead a man I love, luckily I did and even though it hurt it means something to both of us.
11/14/2011
Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
Dear P'Gell
All the previous proverbs talk about loosing virginity in other way than marriage. This is just a notice about your comment for Arminian proverb.

About (virginity as an artificial construct),, Is verginity a man made? ... more
If virginity has value, because the woman has a hymen, then what about men? We have no such thing to pop, when we 'lose' our virginity.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Moein Moein
Quote:
Originally posted by Rockin'
Hi Moein,
I do not claim to know for certain why the hymen exists, but I have a hypothesis that is based in evolutionary theory. Here are my thoughts from a scientific perspective (and yes, I am an atheist):

I think that the hymen is just ... more
Hi ~Kris,
It is just an evolutionary prespective without any scientific proofs. Do they have any fossils that prove such story. I am sure not. It is just remind me about the evolutionary myth for breast feeding and milk transformation from (sweat glands)

But lets move the question to more close and accurate point that shows the Value of virginity to girls.

Do girls regret and become sorry after losing virginity before marriage (by sex)??
11/15/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
Hi ~Kris,
It is just an evolutionary prespective without any scientific proofs. Do they have any fossils that prove such story. I am sure not. It is just remind me about the evolutionary myth for breast feeding and milk transformation from (sweat ... more
I never regretted it. I'm not sorry I gave away my virginity before marriage. In fact, I'm rather proud of myself.

And on another note, regardless of if virginity is a social construct, marriage is a construct no matter how you slice it, it makes no difference in the long run unless society gives it power.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
Hi ~Kris,
It is just an evolutionary prespective without any scientific proofs. Do they have any fossils that prove such story. I am sure not. It is just remind me about the evolutionary myth for breast feeding and milk transformation from (sweat ... more
I did some research for you because I was tired of looking at this question. There are many hypthesese regarding the function of the human hymen, but first, let me explain the physiology.

Summarized from Hobday et al. 1997:
Male and female reproductive systems are developed from the same embryological precursers, and each part has a homologue in the other sex (Moore and Persaud 1993). Human male and female genatalia are the same at 5-6 weeks of development (Katchadorian 1990), but around 4 months, under the exposure of androgens, male genitals become markedly distinguishable from female genitals. Until late in the female fetus' life, the lumen of the vagina is separate from the cavity of the urogenital sinus by the hymen. During the perinatal period it ruptures and remains as a fold of mucus membrane around the entrance of the vagina. When the inferior end of the vagina does not perforate, a blockage results, and the condition is known as "imperforate hymen" (Moore and Persaud 1993). In normal human infants, the hyman remains as a membranous partition of variable shape and size and is occasionally lacking.

However, why does it still exist? Although all have (sometimes glaring) flaws, the current hypotheses are:

1) Sexual selection by males (Smith 1984).
2) As humans have an acquatic past, the hymen may have evolved to protect vagina from marine pollution (Morgan 1972). (unlikely)
3) A structure to increase the retention of sperm and raise fertilization success. (unlikely)
4) An embryological structure that has merely been retained into the juvenile period (Hobday et al 1997). (the most supported)

The support for number 4:
The change to upright posture and reduction in size of the birth canal in hominids led to a shorter gestation period (Trinkaus 1985). Following this change to "premature" bith, the hymen remained in newborns, and natural selection extended the persistence of this structure into childhood and beyond. With the greater helplessness of human infants relative to other great apes (Fisher 1982), infection due to inability to clean the vaginal area may have been a significant cause of mortality. Thus, any structure that limited fecal or other material from entering the vagina would be favored by natural selection.

Literature Cited:
Katchadorian, H. A. Biological aspects of human sexuality, 4th edn. Fort Worth, Texas; Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1990:453.
Moore, K. L, Persaud, T. V. N. The developing human: clinically oriented embryology, 5th edn. Philadelphia; Saunders, 1993.
Trinkaus, E. On the Neandertal pubis and acromegaly: Reply to F. Icanhoe. Curr Anthrop 1985; 26: 536-529
Fisher, H. E. The sex contract: the evolution of human behavior, New York: William Morrow, 1982.
Hobday, A. J., Haury, L., Dayton, P. K. Function of the human hymen.
Medical Hypotheses, 1997: 171-173.
Morgan, E. The descent of woman. New York: Stein and Day, 1972.
Smith, R. L. Human sperm competition. In: Smith, R. L., ed. Sperm competition and the evolution of animal mating systems. New York: Academic Press; 1984: 601-659.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Lornoria Mirid Lornoria Mirid
Virginity is a pricetag forced upon women I was happy to lose mine. Any male or female for that matter who is looking for a virgin specifically in my mind is a predator and is not worth my time. Purity/innocence in my mind being how a person views the world and how sweet and gentle their soul is on the other hand is a much more important thing in my mind and has nothing to do with if the person has had sex before or not.
11/15/2011
Contributor: biggieaddict biggieaddict
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
I did some research for you because I was tired of looking at this question. There are many hypthesese regarding the function of the human hymen, but first, let me explain the physiology.

Summarized from Hobday et al. 1997:
Male and female ... more
I vote best response!
11/18/2011
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
No No No, it is clear that when we talk about losing verginity before marriage is only by (sex), even by sex toy, finger play, or due to intercourse, because virginity is a visical+spirtual combination, and you can't separate them.

If ... more
It's not.. in many people.
11/18/2011
Contributor: CamelliaGirl CamelliaGirl
I personally don't think it's important for women. Although occasionally I value it in men my age...if they're attractive and sociable, it makes me think they have standards about sex.
12/16/2012
Contributor: Rod Ronald Rod Ronald
I never really put much thought into it.
12/16/2012
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by T&A1987
In the modern era, do you think there is a legitimate "value" to virginity? There's often talk of "saving" one's virginity for someone you love,but what is being saved? The first time may be painful for the woman and ... more
Virginity was not important to me. I've had friends who waited into their 20s, and they didn't seem to have any different of an experience.
12/16/2012
Contributor: MacNCheese MacNCheese
Quote:
Originally posted by T&A1987
In the modern era, do you think there is a legitimate "value" to virginity? There's often talk of "saving" one's virginity for someone you love,but what is being saved? The first time may be painful for the woman and ... more
I heard of girls auctioning their virginity....so the value of virginity would be the average of those. Lol, just kidding. Honestly, it wouldn't be so bad to get a lot of money from auctioning it.
12/17/2012
Contributor: Robespierrethecat Robespierrethecat
I really think virginity is bullshit. It's really a big mess. How do you even define virginity? How does it work for people who are trans* or into more than one gender?
12/17/2012