What aspect of yourself makes you most nervous to share?

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What aspect of yourself makes you most nervous to share?

Darling Jen Darling Jen
We all have something that makes us shy, timid, or nervous. This is especially compounded when starting a new relationship, making a new sex partner, or even a new friend. So what is it about you that makes you bashful when opening up to someone? What do you put off revealing?

I'm feeling this almost every day as I start to make new friends and try to put myself out there to meet other singles. I haven't done this in YEARS because I never had to until now. It's nerve wracking and has made me slightly paranoid. But unless I push through it, I'll be keeping everyone at bay forever.

Feel free to share in text, especially if you choose other. We all have insecurities but they don't have to control us.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
It's something about my body. I put off revealing it in the light for as long as I can.
17  (26%)
It's something in my past. I don't want to share too soon and have them run away.
12  (18%)
It's something in my personality. I'm worried they won't respect my opinions/desires and judge me.
23  (35%)
It's something in my aspirations. Not everyone will be understanding as to where/what I wanna be in 10 years.
3  (5%)
It's completely something else but I'm still nervous!
10  (15%)
Total votes: 65
Poll is closed
01/18/2011
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Darling Jen Darling Jen
Hm, I should have made it multiple choice voting... Yeah, I would so check more than one myself.
01/18/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Mostly my personality. I don't 'fit' into the mainstream because I come from an intellectual/creative direction rather than a social direction. I can associate with other geeks/nerds/outcasts, but 'normal' people are a mystery to me and they tend to scoot away, even before I open my mouth.
01/18/2011
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I sat for a while thinking about this one. I'm not really nervous to share anything of these sorts and I couldn't think of an other option. But, I chose in my past. It's not that there are things in my past that I would not admit or that I think I'd be nervous to tell others-my entire past is part of the person I am proud of being. It's that there are things that have happened to me that I think there comes a certain amount of stigma with-certain traumas. I don't want to get special treatment or be treated as fragile when I'm not. I'm stronger for everything I have gone through, not weaker. Hopefully that makes sense.
01/18/2011
Illusional Illusional
My personality, really. I'm really weird. I'm 23, but I like things like Twizzlers and stuffed animals as gifts. I like Ring Pops instead of real jewelry and origami.
My mom and dad are openly disgusted by my weirdness and openly want me on medication.
I like who I am, but I wish more people could mesh with my weirdness I guess.
When I'm with my high school "friends" I have to pretend I'm a different person and it makes me unhappy

I'm a big sensitive baby who likes lovey dovey anime.
01/18/2011
Illusional Illusional
My body, I'm just now coming to grips with my height. It won't go away and I have long legs. I just wanna be cute and delicate so bad.
01/18/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
My general insecurities. My really close friends know me really well, and know all the weird quirks about me and what kinds of things I let get to me sometimes when I know I shouldn't. I can get a little paranoid sometimes, but in the past I've found that paranoia to be justified, so that doesn't really help anything really, lol. Overall, I'm pretty "I am who I am and anybody that doesn't like it can suck it," but there are a few things I keep from people who I'm not really close to.
01/18/2011
BadassFatass BadassFatass
For me, it's definitely my struggles with mental illness. Even though I take care of myself and have everything under good control I worry that people's opinion of me will change once they know. This means you all know now. Ugh. My stomach is in knots.
01/18/2011
Jobthingy Jobthingy
I am mouthy and I tend to speak before I think. I am also brutally honest. If you ask me if that dress makes you look fat and it does, I will say yes. Why sugar coat it when you look like crap and I know you can look better.
01/18/2011
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Quote:
Originally posted by BadassFatass
For me, it's definitely my struggles with mental illness. Even though I take care of myself and have everything under good control I worry that people's opinion of me will change once they know. This means you all know now. Ugh. My stomach is ...
*HUGS* More people struggle with some form of mental illness than you know.
01/18/2011
BadassFatass BadassFatass
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
*HUGS* More people struggle with some form of mental illness than you know.
Thank you. I needed that.
01/18/2011
Yoda Yoda
I used to be afraid of telling women that I am a Christian. I'd been attacked (verbally) a few times in university when people discovered my faith or my position on some issues. I tend to keep my values to myself, so naturally, I avoided any discussions of a philosophical nature until I was sure that my date was open-minded.
01/18/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Awwww love to all you people for sharing!

Chilipepper - I can so totally relate! Right now I'm in a city where people I could get along with are about 10% or less of the population. I'm far too educated and socially liberal for people around here. I want to have discussions on social constructs, holistic health care, musical theatre, anime, and underground music. I miss my college town.

Lauren - I understand. () I think people with tough events in their past tend to become the strongest and bravest people. Those who have had it easy don't know what they will be like in the heat of the moment when things go wrong.

Illusional - Hehe as said above, I'm pretty abnormal for people I'm surrounded by. My family thinks I'm basically a government conspiracy fanatic, atheist, communist hippie or something. And oh my god I agree with the body thing! I always felt little and delicate and being a BBW just doesn't fit with my inner identity.

awhirlwindlife - I agree with Jobthingy. There are so so many people who deal with mental illness past and present. I was/am depressed and a self-injurer since I was 12. EF is one of the only reasons I haven't slipped into total darkness after my life came crashing down. I definitely don't judge on that.

Yoda - Awww I'm so sorry. It's usually the people who are anything other than christian that have that fear but definitely in the right environment, that can hurt too. But I bet it's made a more understanding, accepting person and anyone who respects your views is worth keeping around!
01/18/2011
Alura Une Alura Une
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
My personality, really. I'm really weird. I'm 23, but I like things like Twizzlers and stuffed animals as gifts. I like Ring Pops instead of real jewelry and origami.
My mom and dad are openly disgusted by my weirdness and openly want me ...
I can relate! I go crazy over things more suitable for pre-schoolers. I like weird and silly jewelry more than diamonds. I am into manga, anime, cosplay. I was really serious in my teens and I'm done with that. I just want to have fun now. Most people in my life have grown used to it and embrace it. But I know a lot of people are out there who would roll their eyes at me. I'm almost 30, heh.

I know you probably think this, but don't give in to what others want! Of course, we have to conform sometimes as there is a time and place for everything--but it seems your personality is fun, you aren't doing anything bad--at least that I can see. We need more people like you. People are so damned serious about everything! I hope you find friends who can appreciate your quirks. They are out there.
01/19/2011
Alura Une Alura Une
I am mostly pretty open. But there are many aspects of me that make me nervous about sharing.

I have a specific learning disability and I've been scared to share that, even when it probably would have been wise to.

There are things I wish I could be open about, but I know someone will jump on me for my beliefs, particularly most of my family. It gets scary. But even people on "my team" are quite opposite of me in some areas. I feel alone sometimes.

I seriously get scared when some elders from my past want to know what I've been up to. Some have made me feel like I'm wasting my life because I didn't get a typical college education. Even if I am doing what I want, even though I study some things quite fervently, they aren't happy until I have a degree. I like these people, but I want to avoid them more and more.

I am usually not scared to open up in social situations with new people, but some of my otaku-ness freaks people out and pushes them away--even other nerds. I'm into some things pretty deep. I can't make friends with people at work because they tend to not understand anything I'm into.

And as for my body, it's not quite like in the poll. I do some kinds of modeling, there are times when I get really excited about showing my work! But there have been times when it was clear that my body wasn't sufficient when competing against certain types, even though I'm fairly tall and thin, my face is OK. People are their most cruel online, I think, so I hid a little. I try to "improve" and then someone will still criticize. You just cannot please everyone!

And though the thought makes me so sad--"You just cannot please everyone", it gives me strength sometimes, too? So don't be afraid to share when you want to share something. Just keep going and be you.
01/19/2011
PussyGalore PussyGalore
I'm very opinionated and I have a very very weird relationship with food. Most guys would think I was batshit if they sat at a dinner table with me. I don't eat onions, mushrooms, soggy bread (think Italian Beef sandwiches that have been dipped) and I have a hard time eating beef if it's not steak or a nice cut sliced very thin. I like everything I eat to be rich in color and flavor but I don't really go all out with the herbs, more of a spice girl. *chuckle* I'll pick an apple over a junk food any day.

When it comes to my opinions...well I think of the world in very realistic ways and I rarely allow emotions to sway my actions and rely on the potential consequences to make decisions. It's just who I am and I have found that I am way too "strong" and "free spirited" for a lot of people. It takes someone just as strong to be in a relationship with me. I'm not afraid to fight and stand up for what I believe in and I don't always do it in the most tactful of ways.
01/20/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Aw, yall impress me with your stories. Everyone has something in common: bravery to express what makes them most nervous. I love you all!
01/20/2011
Morganna Morganna
With me, it's my personality. I've always been labeled 'weird'. Nowdays, after just getting tired of certain people & great advice from my dad, I embrace it. Still have to moderate how much of my weird people get to know, though.

And I've always had this problem where I think people think they're better than me, which makes me feel kind of...what's the word, ostracized or looked down on.

But overall, I'm happy with who I am and being yourself is really the best way to put yourself out there.
01/20/2011
Morganna Morganna
Quote:
Originally posted by Morganna
With me, it's my personality. I've always been labeled 'weird'. Nowdays, after just getting tired of certain people & great advice from my dad, I embrace it. Still have to moderate how much of my weird people get to know, ...
I have to use a fake name so I don't get crap from my students but it's a name I've carried for a while and it's still me.
01/20/2011
UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
I had some mental health types issues when I was younger. I'm usually hesitant to reveal details about that too soon.
01/20/2011
BadassFatass BadassFatass
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
Awwww love to all you people for sharing!

Chilipepper - I can so totally relate! Right now I'm in a city where people I could get along with are about 10% or less of the population. I'm far too educated and socially liberal for people ...
Thank you. I know there are a lot of people dealing with mental illness but in a lot of circles it's still really a taboo topic. I tell people about some of my diagnoses...and they have actually asked why I'm not locked up somewhere, which I find offensive. I'm medicated and functional and hate being seen as otherwise.
01/21/2011
gone77 gone77
Mostly my body. I hate my body and I'm super nervous about revealing it to someone new. Heck, I still get nervous revealing it to someone who has seen me naked before.
01/21/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by BadassFatass
Thank you. I know there are a lot of people dealing with mental illness but in a lot of circles it's still really a taboo topic. I tell people about some of my diagnoses...and they have actually asked why I'm not locked up somewhere, which I ...
That's very offensive. You are not the only one in the world functioning just fine with some diagnosis of something or other. Hell, I'd say the number of people dealing with mental, emotional, or genetic behavior problems is on the rise!
01/21/2011
PussyGalore PussyGalore
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
That's very offensive. You are not the only one in the world functioning just fine with some diagnosis of something or other. Hell, I'd say the number of people dealing with mental, emotional, or genetic behavior problems is on the rise!
If we could only figure out why there are more. Has it always been so prevalent and been dismissed as hysteria and lunancy without giving it a second thought or is it something in our food, medications, environment?

Mental illness and its causes fascinate me and I have always always believed that people with certain forms of mental illness are probably not at all damaged in the slightest bit. And I use damage because I have no idea what else to call it, just kind of going with the stereo-type there. And there are some forms of mental illness that I believe are the workings of evolutionary advancement of the human brain. Of course now we know that CP is caused by doctors getting a little too rough during delivery and that there is a possible link to autism through bacteria. I believe they said it was a form of yeast.

It may take another 100 years before we fully understand what's going on and (rightfully so) the restrictions on human "guinea pigs" makes it that much more difficult.

/ramble
01/21/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyGalore
If we could only figure out why there are more. Has it always been so prevalent and been dismissed as hysteria and lunancy without giving it a second thought or is it something in our food, medications, environment?

Mental illness and its ...
I think it could be both PLUS a large order of "culture". I could rant for a while on why but I think I'll keep my anthro-babble to myself.
01/21/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
We all have something that makes us shy, timid, or nervous. This is especially compounded when starting a new relationship, making a new sex partner, or even a new friend. So what is it about you that makes you bashful when opening up to someone? ...
Ugggg - I can only choose ONE! Lol.

I have body issues but also something in my past that stops me from totally trusting - especially guys.

I kinda close myself off to relationships (for guys who are interested, I seem to always find a reason why I don't want them) and I tend to go for guys I can't have!
I don't like them really getting to know me (guys I like) cause they may see something in me that they don't like. It's kinda silly really.
01/21/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
I am mouthy and I tend to speak before I think. I am also brutally honest. If you ask me if that dress makes you look fat and it does, I will say yes. Why sugar coat it when you look like crap and I know you can look better.
Ahhhh awesome.
When I purchase new clothes, I'm coming to you to ask if I look fat!

There's nothing better than a direct answer. I hate it when people don't just tell ya straight out. I'd rather them say I look fat than for me to parade around in something that does me no justuce - when I could be wearing something that's flattering, if the person had just told me in the first place.
01/21/2011
buzz buzz
*nervous*
01/22/2011
tits only tits only
My left leg. I was born with a birth defect. I don't like wearing anything that show my legs. I also had surgery on that leg so now I have marks where they cut.I am happy to say that is the body part my boyfriend loves the most because I dislike how it looks. He makes me feel go about it so now I don't worry as much
01/22/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Shellz31
Ahhhh awesome.
When I purchase new clothes, I'm coming to you to ask if I look fat!

There's nothing better than a direct answer. I hate it when people don't just tell ya straight out. I'd rather them say I look fat than ...
Shellz, I am with you on that! I hate when I wear something all day long at work or where ever and my friends don't say anything and then when I come home, my husband says, "Is that what you wore today?" He is the only one that will tell me..."Look honey, it doesn't look good on you." or "It is not flattering and doesn't do your curves any favors." That is why I take him shopping with me instead of my girlfriends. He is an amazing personal shopper!
01/22/2011
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