What defines a Fetish?

Sapphire Pet Sapphire Pet 08/08/2010

So as is common in my home, we were discussing why anal sex is considered a fetish seeing as it's fairly common now a days. Curious as to what others think classifies a "fetish".

Invited: All users.

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Sapphire Pet Sapphire Pet
Select best answer or (of Course) other and describe.
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08/08/2010
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Evoluchun Evoluchun
maybe just the fact that something is out of the norm
08/08/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
The actual psychological definition of "Fetish" is an object or activity other than "normal" sex (which is up for grabs, I think) that the fetishist CANNOT become aroused or orgasm without having present.

Some guys LIKE high heel shoes. A High Heel Fetish CANNOT get an erection or orgasm UNLESS High Heeled Shoes are in the scene.

Here's the Webster Dictionary definition:

:an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression
08/09/2010
joja joja
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
The actual psychological definition of "Fetish" is an object or activity other than "normal" sex (which is up for grabs, I think) that the fetishist CANNOT become aroused or orgasm without having present.

Some guys LIKE ... More
Thanks for that, took the words right out of my mouth. I usually use this to distinguish a kink from a fetish - kinks are 'unusual' things that turn you on, but fetishes are necessary for you to get off. Under this definition, very few people have a true fetish.
08/09/2010
Sapphire Pet Sapphire Pet
Wow! Good points! So basically most people are just kinky by the true definition!! Interesting... very interesting!!!
08/09/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by joja
Thanks for that, took the words right out of my mouth. I usually use this to distinguish a kink from a fetish - kinks are 'unusual' things that turn you on, but fetishes are necessary for you to get off. Under this definition, very few people ... More
Exactly. A kink is "I like leather." A Fetish would be "I can't get aroused or have an orgasm without the smell, feel and presence of leather."

Fetishes are, as you said, actually not that common.

Freud seemed to imply that women who needed clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm were "fetishist" but Freud was a big fat misogynist, who knew little about actual human sexuality.

Actual sexual needs, like needing genitalia to be touched in order to become aroused or come to orgasm doesn't qualify as a "fetish."
08/09/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Sapphire Pet
Wow! Good points! So basically most people are just kinky by the true definition!! Interesting... very interesting!!!
Yeah, I think so. Of course, in comparison to the general population, I would imagine a greater proportion of "kink" would be seen here (on Eden) as people here tend to be more in touch with their sexuality and as they used to say back in the day "let it all hang out."

I think "kink" is in the eye of the beholder, as well.
08/09/2010
SydVicious SydVicious
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
The actual psychological definition of "Fetish" is an object or activity other than "normal" sex (which is up for grabs, I think) that the fetishist CANNOT become aroused or orgasm without having present.

Some guys LIKE ... More
Very interesting. I guess I never thought about the absence equaling no orgasm.
08/09/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
The actual psychological definition of "Fetish" is an object or activity other than "normal" sex (which is up for grabs, I think) that the fetishist CANNOT become aroused or orgasm without having present.

Some guys LIKE ... More
I knew you'd be here to say it best! Whenever there's something I find hard to explain there is P'Gell answering it so perfectly!
08/09/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
I knew you'd be here to say it best! Whenever there's something I find hard to explain there is P'Gell answering it so perfectly!
I try. Thank you.
08/09/2010
Ciao. Ciao.
I think psychology tends to define fetishes as things that are either not normally sexual but are given special sexual significance by someone or things where a person can't achieve sexual arousal or pleasure without the particular fetish object.

I think anal wouldn't classify as a fetish in most cases unless a person fixated on giving/receiving anal pleasure almost exclusively, but that's just me.
08/09/2010
Envy Envy
not sure, i think it depends. But I like to think it's something that turns you on and is out of the norm.
08/09/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
The actual psychological definition of "Fetish" is an object or activity other than "normal" sex (which is up for grabs, I think) that the fetishist CANNOT become aroused or orgasm without having present.

Some guys LIKE ... More
Wow that's pretty intense! So I guess it isn't truthful to describe Arch as a foot fetishist since he isn't quite THAT fixated. I mean we can have sex with socks on!
08/09/2010
Kinky Skier Kinky Skier
i do think it is sexual, can someone give an example of one that is not?
08/12/2010
Midway through Midway through
Non-sexual (technically, because the idea is that whatever a fetish is becomes sexual because it arouses the person) would be something like a smoking fetish.
12/12/2010
KnK KnK
Call me a nerd, but here's a psych definition from the DSM V,

"Fetishism was typically operationally
described as persistent preferential sexual arousal in association
with non-living objects, an over-inclusive focus on (typically
non-sexual) body parts (e.g., feet, hands) and body secretions. In
the DSM-III-R, Partialism, an ‘‘exclusive focus on part of the
body,’’was cleaved from Fetishism and added to the Paraphilia
Not Otherwise Specified category. The current literature reviewed
suggests that Partialism and Fetishism are related, can
be co-associated, and are non-exclusive domains of sexual behavior."

Essentially it can be a fixation or obsession for some, while for others it's something they find arousing. I feel like the definition is pretty fluid.

Oh, and here's the source for the above excerpt: link
12/12/2010
C4ss C4ss
I think it may depend but for me is something able to turn me on and that might be a little out of the norm.
12/12/2010
Josh aka FootMan Josh aka FootMan
Quote:
Originally posted by KnK
Call me a nerd, but here's a psych definition from the DSM V,

"Fetishism was typically operationally
described as persistent preferential sexual arousal in association
with non-living objects, an over-inclusive focus on ... More
I've also seen this definition..

I do have a problem with it, however.. I think that a fetish, is simply a word society uses for things that most of the general population widely accepts as being "not sexual" when really it probably is or can be very sexual.

I obviously have a foot fetish. I don't think everybody would agree with me but I wouldn't dare go so far as to say that a female feet are "not a sexual object"

Many, many men are borderline obsessed with breasts, correct? Do we say they have a sexual obsession with a non sexual object, a BREAST FETISH? No, we don't..

I can understand the use of a statement like "Bob has a SHOE fetish" because this is not a part of a living body so the word fetish applies here in my opinion.

However, the word fetish shouldn't apply, according to the above definition anyway, when referring to any part of the human body... in my opinion. I guess what I'm saying here is I don't know how really ANY part of the human body can really be considered non sexual. I do understand, though, that something that I see as sexy, such as high heels (a non living "sexual" object), could have the word fetish associated with it.
12/23/2010
Beaners Beaners
What an interesting topic! I've taken many psych classes so I look at it from the whole not-necessarily-sexual point of view.
12/23/2010
Moein Moein
In my society anal intercourse is forbiden, I respect that because it is not normal. I also consider anal aex as fetish, may be because it is related to pain rather than enjoinment. My wife likee anal play, but also she respect society judjment and uses only anal toys.
02/12/2011
newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Sapphire Pet
Select best answer or (of Course) other and describe.
To me a kink is something that arouses me but is not necessarily essential to my being able to get off, whereas a fetish is something that is essential to being able to get off. I don't know if that is clinically accurate, but the distinction works for me.
04/27/2011
indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
The actual psychological definition of "Fetish" is an object or activity other than "normal" sex (which is up for grabs, I think) that the fetishist CANNOT become aroused or orgasm without having present.

Some guys LIKE ... More
Yes, exactly. I was going to say the same thing. A fetish (to me) has nothing to do with something being "weird" per se. It is something the person MUST have to be able to get sexual gratification. Not just something "weird" they like to do from time to time, but something they have to have to be aroused.
04/27/2011
Ghost Ghost
I see it as something thats a turn on, no matter what it is. Cause I've read even oral sex is a fetish. So I don't think something has to be odd to be considered a fetish. Some are strange and bizarre and then there is also kissing, which is also considered a fetish. Also I think the term fetish could also be used as a obssession. Like people who love shoe shopping, have been said to have a shoe fetish.
05/23/2011
CAKES CAKES
It does not have to be something sexual. The definition of fetish is any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation. Sorry, I had to get a little nerdy!
05/28/2011
SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by Sapphire Pet
Select best answer or (of Course) other and describe.
i define it as going against the grain of all that most hold highly
07/31/2011
The Mother of a SiNner The Mother of a SiNner
Quote:
Originally posted by Sapphire Pet
Select best answer or (of Course) other and describe.
a little of everything
07/31/2011
Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
A fetish can also be defined as something you just really like, sexual connotations or no. However, it's pretty rare for the word to be used in a non-sexual context anymore, so doing so might get you some odd looks.

Nabbed from wikitionary:

fetish (plural fetishes)

1) Something which is believed to possess, contain, or cause spiritual or magical powers; an amulet or a talisman. [from the early 17th c.]
2) Something sexual or nonsexual, such as an object or a part of the body which arouses sexual desire or is necessary for one to reach full sexual satisfaction. [from the early 19th c.]
3) (US) An irrational, or abnormal fixation or preoccupation. [from the 19th c.]
07/31/2011
Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
Fetish is something more that is considered taboo. Unfortunately anal still seems taboo by society even though most people do it now.
07/31/2011
Lilitu Lilitu
All of the above.
07/31/2011
Steve of Eden Steve of Eden
Quote:
Originally posted by Lilitu
All of the above.
Agreed, all of the above... but I would also say obessions with something...
07/31/2011
Miss Voluptuous Miss Voluptuous
Quote:
Originally posted by KnK
Call me a nerd, but here's a psych definition from the DSM V,

"Fetishism was typically operationally
described as persistent preferential sexual arousal in association
with non-living objects, an over-inclusive focus on ... More
That's how I understand it to be defined as well. Attraction to objects and body parts that are not essential to procreation, basically. That's kind of weird though, because it would mean that all homo sex is fetishistic which I don't think it is.

The olden time definition of a fetish had to do with a magical object. I believe in it in those terms as well. When objects hold special powers they become fetishistic.
08/01/2011
Errant Venture Errant Venture
Well, I often need my hand to achieve orgasm. Does that make me a hand fetishist, or just lonely?
08/01/2011
systematicweasel systematicweasel
I pretty much agree with what's here, something that's out of the norm, but I don't think you need it for an orgasm, it just helps to have it sometimes. maybe the need is there for some people, we are all pretty different sometimes lol.
08/01/2011
Beck Beck
Something that gives you sexual feeling, does not necessarily have to be anything sexual. I do not think that there really is a normal in anything so I disagree with out of the normal.
08/01/2011
ChaosBunny ChaosBunny
I feel that it's means something that you really enjoy more than anything else.
I don't really think it even needs to be a to much of a sexual like. For example, my I think my friend has an eyebrow fetish, she doesn't get off on them or anything, but she's obsessed with her guys having them just the right shape.
08/03/2011
brittany8612 brittany8612
link
lol
08/03/2011
carenautilus carenautilus
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
The actual psychological definition of "Fetish" is an object or activity other than "normal" sex (which is up for grabs, I think) that the fetishist CANNOT become aroused or orgasm without having present.

Some guys LIKE ... More
She's right on the money here.
10/24/2011
eroticmutt eroticmutt
I would define a fetish as anything that is a requirement for sexual arousal or orgasm. For example if you like anal sex but can get aroused or climax while having and THINKING ABOUT vaginal sex, that is not a fetish. Same for women in high heels or fishnets- if it is not a requirement, I would not consider it a fetish, just a turn on.
10/24/2011
Seth912 Seth912
If something is a hardcore fetish they need it to get off.
10/25/2011
GenderSexplorations GenderSexplorations
Something not necessarily sexual in nature that contributes to, enhances, or causes arousal. Intense fetishes are required for orgasm, not all fetishes are though, they just help a lot.
10/25/2011
Nipplopulous Nipplopulous
i've thought it had something to do with obsession in addition
10/25/2011
Princess Zelda Princess Zelda
Have to love the Kinky
10/26/2011
Ash1141 Ash1141
I think a fetish can be nonsexual. For example, the fetish of watching people eat. That's definitely different but has nothing to do with sex. (Sorry that's the one that came to me) Lol.
11/06/2011
HugsAndBites HugsAndBites
i see some awesome definitions above
02/19/2012
Miss Voluptuous Miss Voluptuous
I guess that you could call anal a fetish because it doesn't make babies. I don't think I really fall into that camp of thought though. Yea to me fetishes are about sexualizing objects that aren't necessarily sexual. Huh... in that way anal could be a fetish actually because butt holes are not always sexual. So hard to decide!
02/25/2012
AJvil AJvil
Quote:
Originally posted by Sapphire Pet
Select best answer or (of Course) other and describe.
All of those fit the definition I think.
02/27/2012
punkstar283 punkstar283
Out of the norm
02/27/2012
DreamWolf DreamWolf
Fetish originally means the admiration of material objects...

For example in shamanic cultures and many religions objects are in high respect, like altars, little sculptures/statues around, or even a medal or charm, it pretty much means that you consider them to have "something more inside", some sacrality, deeper meaning, a power, a spirit, or positive energies...

From that comes the term into sexual tastes, pretty much meaning the admiration of material objects, elements, on another level different activities, sights, etc...
03/01/2012
Allstars316 Allstars316
Out of norm to some.
08/28/2012
ellieprobable ellieprobable
I think that the medical definition is useful. However, the word is obviously used more colloquially these days
08/28/2012
heather-mooney heather-mooney
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
The actual psychological definition of "Fetish" is an object or activity other than "normal" sex (which is up for grabs, I think) that the fetishist CANNOT become aroused or orgasm without having present.

Some guys LIKE ... More
That's a good example, you phrased this much better than I could've!
08/28/2012
SilverMinxxx SilverMinxxx
Something that is not necessarily sexual, but a turn on.
08/28/2012
michael scofield michael scofield
i think something that is a real real turn on. some guys like feet i like feet but i dont think i have a foot fetish i wouldnt be worshiping or pay more attention to her feet than her lol
08/28/2012
EdenUser EdenUser
Quote:
Originally posted by Sapphire Pet
Select best answer or (of Course) other and describe.
Something that is not necessarily sexual but a turn on.
08/28/2012
xilliannax xilliannax
Quote:
Originally posted by Sapphire Pet
Select best answer or (of Course) other and describe.
Technically its not a fetish unless you CANT get off without it. Otherwise its a kink, but the media has made everything into a fetish.
08/29/2012
Total posts: 55
Unique posters: 50