What personal characteristics do you despise?

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What personal characteristics do you despise?

Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
I am talking about characteristics in another person. For example, I despise people making fun of those who cannot stand up for themselves! I despise a bully!

Do you despise dishonesty? How about disloyalty? You get the idea...
05/25/2013
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eri86 eri86
Cruel overconfidence that manifests itself in insults and put downs that are meant to be funny.
05/26/2013
K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
I am talking about characteristics in another person. For example, I despise people making fun of those who cannot stand up for themselves! I despise a bully!

Do you despise dishonesty? How about disloyalty? You get the idea...
There are a few! My partner & I had this discussion about egomaniacs on our mini road trip last night, so right now, I'd say people who are so egotistical that you can't even be around them -- they always have to one-up you or be "above" and better in every single thing, they like to belittle you either outright or in subtle, but hurtful ways, they often demean people to feel better about themselves, they are rude, hasty and just damn hard to even be around! YOU CANNOT say anything to them without them having to correct or put you down in some way. And if they aren't doing those things, they are manipulating their way to be the center of everybody's attention.

Egotistical people are just draining, exhausting and sometimes easily offended or upset at you if you ever show any signs of being good at something. Nobody can be "better" than them or else. Shit will hit the fan.

People who their entire world revolves around an image. This also could be described as egotistical, I guess. But I know two people in particular who are like this. One is ten times worse than the other -- their WORLD literally revolves around their image. They spend hours in front of the mirror - no joke, even if it's at someone else's house right in front of them! They'll pull his shirt up right in front of everybody, examine themself, and for hours on end talk about a "flaw" they hate and want removed. If they aren't doing that, they're spending so much time in the bathroom that everyone else at the place has to find another home for their urine... or ... Lol.

And when they do come out of the bathroom, they're back to the mirror or talking. About themself, no less. Constantly. It's actually gotten to the point to where it's like they do not realize a whole world even exists outside of their and only their image anymore!! It's unbelievable. They want desperately for us and other friends to think they are on drugs & has even asked me if they could have a syringe to make the other friends think they're "shootin' up." Yea. Not very smart. And to put the icing on the cake -- they're mean to animals! Even Mine! Arrrr! It started to concern me.

Anyways, so those types of people -- egotistical people who could care less about you, but want you to do nothing but pay them all the attention in the world (even if you're at work, looking at their "stretch marks" & telling them how bad they look or how barely there they are is far more important). He does not even look me in the face when talking to me anymore. He looks in the F**** mirror & I am not even joking! He watches himself talk while he's actually talking to ME! He'll make all these weird faces & he doesn't even realize I'm seeing it, it seems like.

He's just totally lost touch with reality & this is one characteristic about people that makes me frustrated. Try talking about something a recent book you read (I tried that, it was a book he'd read too, so I thought he'd be interested in conversating about it) and no. He'll say "does my hair look bad?" While you are asking him something. It's unreal. My partner and I are looking for ways to break the news to him that there is a whole world out there that is loads of fun, and it does have mirrors too! Lol.

Those are just on my mind at the current moment or else I'd probably have answered with something like "misogynistic assholes," which are really the worst for me. But characteristics in people who are just super, extremely overly self-centered really make me disappointed & frustrated. People who are hateful to others, or treat people or animals badly, they just downright piss me off. I too despise people who are mean to others, especially when the person isn't able to stand up for themselves, or when someone talks nastily about someone for NO reason at all when the person isn't AROUND to defend themselves. That's not very nice. If you have something to say about someone, fine. But if you say something hurtful, or mean about another person who's done nothing to you, then you have bigger problems than your ugly words. Sorry. I'm saying "you," but am not in any way talking about you, my darling Wicked. I just get going and well, you know! This girl never shuts up. Hahaha.

There's more though. I really dislike when people do things that belittle any other person. Oh don't even get me started on objectification or women are less than. Lol. That type of thing pisses me off. I recently read some post by Men 4 Modesty (an organization or group or something) that infuriated me! They basically said all men have no ability to control lustful desires about women, so we girls should not wear shorts and certain tops because we cause them to go down the wrong path and be unfaithful or unpure!" That type of idea being spread or someone who really does blame women for things like this is someone I cannot be around, and it isn't often that I just can't be around someone. I dislike it for 2 reasons: because ideas such as those or the spreading of those ideas make men out to be these monsterous, uncontrollable creatures who we should fear, when not all men are even like that. And 2. because damnit! I like my shorts & once it hits 85 degrees out, I am not sweating in jeans. Shorts it is & it is NOT our fault if we do nothing to purposefully make a man touch us or something. It upsets me because it reminds me of the saying that rape victims who wore a skirt got what they deserved. That's one reason it upsets me.

Well, those are the main types of characteristics I really can't stand. Oh, one more. Sorry. Users! Oh dear how I can't stand users. It hurts my feelings to see people used or to be used.
05/26/2013
js250 js250
My list of detestable characteristics is pretty cut and dried....I absolutely cannot stand:
--Lying/dishonesty.
--Condescending/sarcas tic/demeaning people.
--Chronic complainers/negativity .
--Snobs/cold or unfeeling/judgmental/b etter than....people.
--Narrow minded/close minded people. (Non-compromising.)
--Intentionally stupid/'fake' people.
--Racist/bigoted/sexis t people.
--Cruelty (people or animals)/abusive.
--Over dramatic/sensationalis m.

I think there may be a few other negative characteristics....but these are the basic ones that really stick out! I can forgive many things, and have in the past, but these are just not something I tolerate in people.
05/26/2013
Mwar Mwar
I am not fond of folks who are:

-Judgmental
-Lack empathy
-Illogical and cannot be reasoned with
-Dumb People***
-Those who do not think before they act

***I'm not referring to those who are special needs or have learning disabilities and so on. I think dumb people are those who are more than capable of learning and doing things but choose not to and complain about it.
05/26/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
These are good answers!! I think it's also good to get this stuff off your chest once & a while! You know, compare notes. So far, I agree with all of this, mwar, js250 & Kendra!

@ Kendra, you need to boot that self-obsessed loser out of your life! Just sayin'. And the first type of person sounds like a very insecure person trying to boost their image by belittling others & correcting people. If I'm forced to be around someone like this, I lie in wait for the moment I can correct them & level them, but I try to restrain my nastier urges, (although I still think it).

I find with the types of people you mentioned, including the modesty fools, I need to disengage. What's more important? Continuing to bash my head again the wall educating & rehabilitating them? Or, accepting that they only bring me grief, will not change & are not my problem? I choose the latter and I stay happier! I know there are times I will be forced to deal with these people & would rather save my steam for then!
05/26/2013
ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
I am talking about characteristics in another person. For example, I despise people making fun of those who cannot stand up for themselves! I despise a bully!

Do you despise dishonesty? How about disloyalty? You get the idea...
Showboating is my biggest one.
05/26/2013
.kaycat .kaycat
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My list of detestable characteristics is pretty cut and dried....I absolutely cannot stand:
--Lying/dishonesty.
--Condescending/sarcas tic/demeaning people.
--Chronic complainers/negativity .
--Snobs/cold or unfeeling/judgmental/b etter ...
Perfectly stated! I agree
05/26/2013
KinkyKatieJames KinkyKatieJames
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My list of detestable characteristics is pretty cut and dried....I absolutely cannot stand:
--Lying/dishonesty.
--Condescending/sarcas tic/demeaning people.
--Chronic complainers/negativity .
--Snobs/cold or unfeeling/judgmental/b etter ...
All of this, plus narcissism.
05/26/2013
Woman China Woman China
CHINESE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!gasp for air!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

Ummm... I cannot think of anything past that as that covers pretty much everything. But I might come back and explain it further if I get a chance!
05/26/2013
Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
CHINESE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!gasp for ...
WHAT?????????? You'd better come back and explain, Woman!

js250's list pretty much sums it up.
05/26/2013
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My list of detestable characteristics is pretty cut and dried....I absolutely cannot stand:
--Lying/dishonesty.
--Condescending/sarcas tic/demeaning people.
--Chronic complainers/negativity .
--Snobs/cold or unfeeling/judgmental/b etter ...
Wow, I don't think I could have come up with a better list! Couldn't agree more!
05/26/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
CHINESE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!gasp for ...
Uh, I think you need to explain, because that cannot possibly be meant as an insult.

I am thinking it probably has something to do with an inscrutable expression, or something like that? Maybe? I don't know as I've never heard you mention this before, nor have most others here, I imagine. It makes it very easy to misinterpret what you wrote. I hope people give you the benefit of the doubt until you explain. I know you a little & cannot believe you would purposefully be offensive.
05/26/2013
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by .kaycat
Perfectly stated! I agree
I did forget a couple that I absolutely cannot stand. These people are the ones my friends, husband and I roll our eyes at and wonder if they know how desperate and brainless they are broadcasting about themselves to the rest of the world who can see through the self-importance. (My husband works with one of these people and it is sooo transparent and boorish I hate when we have to go to the work functions!!)

--Attention needy/self martyrs.
--Drama king/queens.
--People with no loyalty or conscience.
05/27/2013
Woman China Woman China
Chinese Face... It is actually pretty hard to explain... but it is something that is taught to mainland Chinese people from the day they are born. Well, not every Chinese person, but the vast majority of them. I've met the odd one or two over the years I've been here where they have attempted to break free from the constraints of society. However; fitting in is such a huge part of the culture. Fear of not being included is tough and if you want to get ahead in society, you have to play the game.

There is no law about Chinese face, but there is a very huge social stigma for anyone who does not follow the rest of the heard. And that is basically it, "following". Anyone who does not appear "normal" is not good enough for the rest. If you do not act a certain way, you are not "normal" and therefore not good enough for people to befriend. Or they will befriend you, but it is a very huge two faced deal. Not a friendship that benefits both people, but more, "what do you have that can advance me?"

Yeah, part of it is almost like the worst parts of high school where the stereotypical cheerleaders rule the coup and everyone wants to be like them. Where perfection is glorified and anything that is not perfection is bottled up inside and not permitted to see the light of day.

Some other aspects of Chinese face... (stolen from JS250)
--Lying/dishonesty.
--Demeaning people.
--Narrow minded/close minded people. (Non-compromising.)
--Intentionally stupid/'fake' people.
--Racist/bigoted/sexis t people.
--People with no loyalty or conscience.

And some more:
Refusing to make mistakes/refusing to say they do not know something (can you imagine a doctors visit????? Oh I've been there MANY times!!!)
Refusal to stand up and say something because they are afraid of what others will think of them/that they will loose their friends
Being friends with someone because they have money
Refusing to stand up and say what you beleive in/your opinion
Thinking for yourself
Admitting you need help
Refusing to learn something because it is different from what you were taught
Blindly following thoughts/people just because everyone else does it
Two faced people
Not being able to admit you are human and make mistakes
Guangxi
Refusing to be yourself because you have been told who you are is just not good enough
Thinking that just because they have money that everyone should accept everything you do and say
"If everyone else does it, I can do it too"
Not able to literally dance in the streets because you are afriad of people looking at you in an odd way.
That a woman is not as good as a man

And to top it all off? Pride. I mean I do totally agree, China has so much to be proud of... and I am filled with pride about my students and many things Chinese. But the absolute refusal to be able to wrap ones mind around the simple fact that sure, China is a great country, but there are many things here that are not all that good and being able to actually say it without the fear of people casting you out. Canada is a great country, but golly, there are so many problems too.

I know it sounds like I am complaining about everyone, and this list is huge in the generations above the age of thirty, it is slowly changing with the younger generations. It really gets to me when I actually speak of this to people of any age group and they just look at me and whisper that I am right in what I am saying and wish they could just turn from Chinese face. But they cannot if they want to keep their job or if they want their kids to have a good future.

Living here is hard and tough if you don't understand the "game", but once you know the game... it becomes much more easier. And the good thing is, I am a foreigner. I have no "face". Thankfully, if you've read my posts here in the forums or my blog about living here, you'll know that I love living here. There are just so many wonderful things that I can do here that I just cannot do anywhere else. There is really lots more I can say about this topic lots and lots and lots... but... it is time for me to go to work!!!! And I hope I explained it in a way that can be understood, for I never meant it as an insult to anyone. I simply hate the whole concept of "face" I find it just so... wrong. and this does not just happen here in China... it also happens in many places in Canada and other western countries.

And my absolute favourite part of living here? Now that everyone I know here knows that I cannot stand face, it means I have to live more straight and narrow, honestly and the opposite of everything I've said above. To me? I've so got the better end of the stick!!!!

Before I run away, if you have any questions, please feel free to drop them here in this thread, I have set the alert me function.
05/27/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
Chinese Face... It is actually pretty hard to explain... but it is something that is taught to mainland Chinese people from the day they are born. Well, not every Chinese person, but the vast majority of them. I've met the odd one or two over the ...
I am so slow, of course, you meant face as the sociological concept, as in saving, or losing face! That, I know a lot about! Thanks for going to the trouble of explaining for everyone. I never before heard it called Chinese Face, so it sounded odd, like it was about actual Chinese faces!
05/27/2013
Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
I am so slow, of course, you meant face as the sociological concept, as in saving, or losing face! That, I know a lot about! Thanks for going to the trouble of explaining for everyone. I never before heard it called Chinese Face, so it sounded odd, ...
Actually, Chinese Face can happen in any culture, but there might be more where Woman China's currently residing, so she used "Chinese" Face.

Now that Woman China's posted a detailed explanation on her "Chinese Face" remark and put everyone at ease, it's my turn to apologize to you; it's not the first time I horsed around with Woman China in other people's threads, I purposely responded dramatically to her comments, just for the fun of it - I'm sorry if my posting made you uncomfortable.
05/28/2013
FlashFuchsia FlashFuchsia
I absolutely hate people who are overly negative. The people who are always complaining about how bad their life is, and even though things aren't really that bad, they see it as the worst thing ever and that it will never stop happening to them.

I also dislike dishonest people. There's literally no reason to lie except to make yourself feel better about something (I'm talking about big lies, not little white lies like "Oh that dress does look pretty on you").

And then there's histrionic people. Those people seem absolutely insane to me and I want nothing to do with them.
05/28/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
Actually, Chinese Face can happen in any culture, but there might be more where Woman China's currently residing, so she used "Chinese" Face.

Now that Woman China's posted a detailed explanation on her "Chinese ...
No problemo! Since I thought I read somewhere that you are of Asian descent, I felt you might be offended! I thought, "Uh oh, shit storm coming!" & wanted to nip it in the bud, so WC could explain. It's very nice of you to explain, I didn't know about the teasing, but I knew you are friends which is part of what concerned me, as well. Thanks for telling me! I'm still new enough not to know the dynamics between the longer term members.
05/28/2013
sunflower sunflower
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
I am talking about characteristics in another person. For example, I despise people making fun of those who cannot stand up for themselves! I despise a bully!

Do you despise dishonesty? How about disloyalty? You get the idea...
-People who are too needy.
-People who are big attention seekers.
-People with no sense of humor.
-My friend with celiac disease who whines about how bad she feels and how disabling her disease is when I saw her eating a bag of Lays potato chips the day earlier.
-People with want the V but don't know how to treat a lady (you hear all about that)
-Dumb rednecks who fly the confederate flag here. Michigan isn't a confederate state so take your racism somewhere else.
-Racists
-People who are way too whiny and just want to whine but don't actually want to change anything
-People that won't tell me when I have food on my face
-People who make rape jokes
-Junkies and crackheads
-Liars
-People who are way too sensitive. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen etc.
-Abusers
-People with no common sense
-People who waste my time
-Douchebag guys
-People who are overly ratchet
-People who don't own up to a fart
-People!!!!!!!!!!!
05/31/2013
Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by sunflower
-People who are too needy.
-People who are big attention seekers.
-People with no sense of humor.
-My friend with celiac disease who whines about how bad she feels and how disabling her disease is when I saw her eating a bag of Lays potato ...
MWHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAAHAHHAHAA!!!!

I love your list!!! Fantastic!!! But I say women who dance around saying that they don't fart because they are "women". I fart in the elevator and chuckle. I know. I am so mean. I laughed with a student and told them about it... now I always know when an English Major has been in an elevator.
05/31/2013
Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
Actually, Chinese Face can happen in any culture, but there might be more where Woman China's currently residing, so she used "Chinese" Face.

Now that Woman China's posted a detailed explanation on her "Chinese ...
Wicked Wahine.

She called me a bathroom!!!!
05/31/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
Wicked Wahine.

She called me a bathroom!!!!
Oops! I will never abbreviate your nickname again, okay?
05/31/2013
spiced spiced
My two big ones:

1) lack of empathy

and

2) inability or unwillingness to admit when they don't know or can't do something.

That second one costs me more time and money than just about anything else. Ugh.
05/31/2013
Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
People who have no backbone. They know something is wrong but will not stand up for what is right because they are afraid someone will not like them. Evil prevails when good men do nothing.
05/31/2013
sunflower sunflower
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
Wicked Wahine.

She called me a bathroom!!!!
amendment to my list:

-Wicked Wahine
05/31/2013
pixiedustVixen pixiedustVixen
i despise the rowdy tough guy and the asshole and the stuck up smug people who think they are better than anyone else. i despise liars and people that constatly are hypocrites i really cant stand the jerks of this world and once again i totally agree with spiced lack of empathy more ppl need to care
05/31/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by sunflower
amendment to my list:

-Wicked Wahine
I don't understand, sunflower. Are you adding me to your list of things you despise? That can't possibly be it! Uhm, nope, can't figure this one out; need help, please! What did you mean?
05/31/2013
Lildrummrgurl7 Lildrummrgurl7
There are so many characteristics listed in this thread that I despise but one big one for me is a lack of respect for other people's time. I can not stand people who are chronically late or take their time when they know I'm waiting for them or that I'm in a hurry. It's just plain rude. I'm someone who is always early. If I'm going to be late, I make damn sure I call the person I'm meeting to let them know why and I apologize.

Also:
-Racism
-Sexism
-Close-mindedness
-Dishonesty
-Abusive
-Lacking empathy
-People who play the victim (people who complain about whats wrong but do absolutely nothing to better their situation. It's much different if you try and nothing is resolved)
05/31/2013
Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
Oops! I will never abbreviate your nickname again, okay?
LOL!!!! yeah, next thing you know? You'll be calling me "john" and I'll have no idea if you are calling me a bathroom or a chickens client!!!!!

LOL!!! I crack myself up!!!!
05/31/2013
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