What will you do with a bratty nephew?

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What will you do with a bratty nephew?

Rossie Rossie
My husband's older brother and his family visited us for the first time after we've moved to a different state. His bratty eight year old son ran all over our house, harassing our poodle, kicked and stomped inside our car when we drove them to lunch. His parents didn't say a word to stop him from doing all those awful things, so my husband and I had to step in and told him to stop, were we handling the situation properly, or were we being mean? What will you do if you have such a bratty nephew?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
You guys were mean, you should let the parents handle their brat.
You guys did the right thing stepping in.
funluvinmama , Gina RPG Geek , Peggi , Woman China , HarlequinBunnie , Kimberlythai1955 , panthercat23 , DeliciousSurprise , SMichelle , mama2007 , SparklyGlitter , Bullfroggy and Rose , zaftigzoo , vanilla&chocolate , Gracie , Falsepast , Bex1331 , hjtee , gsfanatic , Emerlyn , *Camoprincess* , WhoopieDoo , Mascara , dv8 , tortilla , RonLee , GONE! , PepperPot , Alyxx , icyqueen , mpfm , LadyDarknezz , FallFire , BrittaniMaree , Bignuf , pixylove101 , Princess Zelda
37
You guys should pretend nothing happened.
This is what I'll do...
funluvinmama , Woman China , HarlequinBunnie , mama2007 , deltalima , *Camoprincess* , ViVix , P'Gell
8
Total votes: 45 (40 voters)
Poll is closed
07/29/2012
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funluvinmama funluvinmama
I would mention it to the parents that they need to do something about him and then if they don't, then I would.
07/29/2012
Gina RPG Geek Gina RPG Geek
Quote:
Originally posted by funluvinmama
I would mention it to the parents that they need to do something about him and then if they don't, then I would.
I remember being told not to be a brat when I was little by adults that were not even related to me and no one thought it was odd. I don't understand why 30 years ago this was ok and acceptable, but now so many people are all about "don't raise my kids for me"
07/29/2012
Kimberlythai1955 Kimberlythai1955
Discipline not only remedies the current situation, but will set the power balance for future problems. You're sending a message more than anything else.
07/29/2012
Woman China Woman China
My sisters kids are not this bad, but once they get comfortable in a new surrounding they go a little kid-crazy.

Last summer they ran all over hell and creation, knocking stuff over, going through my luggage, and my sister yelled at me about NOT disciplining her children.

I don't really care if they run all over their own home, choose to rummage through their or their mothers gear. My things are OFF LIMITS. So I grabbed their hands, pulled them to be just a few inches from my face and said in my stern teachers voice,

Me: "These are MY things. Do you want me to touch and possibly break your things because I am curious?"
Girl-Child: No ciocia (auntie) those are my things.
Me: So you are telling me you don't want me to touch your things?
Girl-Child: No, those are mine. Only I can touch them.
Me: Well then Sophia, practice what you preach. If you do not want people to touch your things, don't touch theirs. Deal?
Girl-Child: Deal.

The Boy-Child was four at the time so it was more along the lines of, "MINE! No touchy!"

My sister gave me the longest lecture as I said about disciplining her children. Personally, I do not feel that in this type of situation or in the situation you describe family is out of line. Simply because, these are YOUR things. These are simple manners that children should know, and parents should be teaching this.

This is why I do not let young people into my house. Parents don't teach their children the simple rule of look but don't touch.
07/29/2012
HarlequinBunnie HarlequinBunnie
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
My husband's older brother and his family visited us for the first time after we've moved to a different state. His bratty eight year old son ran all over our house, harassing our poodle, kicked and stomped inside our car when we drove them ...
I would have said something a lot sooner and so would my husband. We look after our 3 God-children often and when the grandmother brings them over they act like they have lost their minds. They try hurting our chihuahuas, and our cat as well as touching things they know they are not allowed to touch. The grandmother says nothing and allows it! We do not. We correct them because it is our house and if they continue we give time-outs or spank (when they hurt the animals) when needed. We decided our house our rules. If she doesn't care that they have broken her computer, dishwasher, and T.V. that doesn't mean we want them to do the same here. The twins will be 3 next month while the baby is a year and a half. They have behavioral issues because of the grandmother, we are trying to help them learn right from wrong here.
07/29/2012
mama2007 mama2007
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
My husband's older brother and his family visited us for the first time after we've moved to a different state. His bratty eight year old son ran all over our house, harassing our poodle, kicked and stomped inside our car when we drove them ...
yall were right and id do the same!
07/29/2012
SparklyGlitter SparklyGlitter
I hate when parents cant handle their kids
07/29/2012
Bullfroggy and Rose Bullfroggy and Rose
you were right , got to show them who is in charge
07/29/2012
Gracie Gracie
It is nice if the parents will correct their children, but if they don't, then you should do it. You might remind the parents of your expectations at the begining of the visit. I know in my extended family my siblings parent differently than I. Sometimes at family gatherings I will gather the cousins (my nephews) together and talk about "house rules." I love kids, but I have a low tolerance for misbehavior.
07/30/2012
Falsepast Falsepast
I'd have stopped the car and told him he can walk wherever he needs to go.
07/30/2012
deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
My husband's older brother and his family visited us for the first time after we've moved to a different state. His bratty eight year old son ran all over our house, harassing our poodle, kicked and stomped inside our car when we drove them ...
I'd make a comment about it but if they parents aren't going to bother saying anything, I wouldn't step in.
07/30/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
You need to step in, especially if the kid is causing problems at your house. Sometimes people don't realize their kids behavior is annoying
08/01/2012
Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Falsepast
I'd have stopped the car and told him he can walk wherever he needs to go.
I'd loved to do that, but it's easier said than done!
08/01/2012
*Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
I think you were right by what you were doing but me personally would have been the aunt who would have kicked him after he kicked my dog! Yes I HAVE done this to my niece, this kid sounds like he needs a good ass whooping
08/02/2012
Woman China Woman China
LOL!!! Gracie!! Your post reminded me of my father.

But he is right in this case, "My house, my rules". Guests should be on their best behviour so they are welcomed to return.
08/02/2012
RonLee RonLee
Good for you!
I've occasionally verbally corrected the children of strangers when the little fuck ups are impinging upon my harmony, in public. Even though I have no problem with being "that mean old man", I've yet to hear their parents tell me I'm out of line for doing so.
09/24/2012
PepperPot PepperPot
Geez, what a hassle. You definitely did the right thing, though you really shouldn't have had to say something... his parents should have been more sensitive.
09/25/2012
Alyxx Alyxx
I'd have done the same!
09/25/2012
LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
I feel you did the right thing. Young children that age really need guidance on what to do and not to do, especially in the company of others. I have two bratty autistic nephews, and they are currently living here with me at the moment. I am getting a rough lesson in patience, but my sister rarely disciplines the boys or tell them not to do a lot of inappropriate things. My mother and myself are the ones who usually step in to tell them to behave, etc. It's pretty tough.
09/25/2012
ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
My husband's older brother and his family visited us for the first time after we've moved to a different state. His bratty eight year old son ran all over our house, harassing our poodle, kicked and stomped inside our car when we drove them ...
You need to find a way to involve the parents instead of becoming the parents. Also, perhaps they know something you don't (he may have a behavioral problem, he doesn't adjust well after long trips, etc.). P.S. Am I the only one who enjoys a somewhat bratty niece and doesn't want to discipline during our quality time unless she's hurting herself or someone else? Everyone sounds like they hate their nieces and nephews and value material possessions over them!
09/25/2012
FallFire FallFire
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
My husband's older brother and his family visited us for the first time after we've moved to a different state. His bratty eight year old son ran all over our house, harassing our poodle, kicked and stomped inside our car when we drove them ...
As soon as I read the title I thought, "Besides tie him up?" :p

I think you did the right thing. I'm sure I would have lost it way before then...
09/25/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
I am actually a parent. IMO, no one has the right to try to "correct" someone else's child, unless they have DIRECT instructions on how to do it and permission from the child's parent.

As for some posts that admitted that they HIT or KICKED someone elses babies, I'd call the police and DCFS if someone physically harmed one of my kids!!!! Why do some people think CRIMINAL ASSAULT is OK if perpetrated against the most vulnerable of people? Would you KICK your friend? If so, you have some serious self control issues.

NOBODY has a right to hit children, not parents and certainly not someone else. It is a failed "parenting" strategy and people who even would think about hitting one of my kids would be cut out of my life with laser precision.

If someone's child is misbehaving in your house you take it up with the parents. No one has the right to discipline an other person's child, unless the parents have told you you may and exactly HOW to do it. AND if those parents give you "permission" to HIT their kids, DON'T do it. It's abusive.

Someone said they KICKED a small child?!?! What the FUCK is wrong with you? You do NOT have any ethical or LEGAL right to KICK a child under ANY circumstance! That's fucking abusive! If you think that is the way to act around children, stay the hell away from them! Anybody who KICKS children doesn't have the maturity or self control to be allowed around children. You do know that that is a FORM OF ASSAULT. Anything that could land you in jail if you did it to an adult is NOT allowed to be done to children. Jeez, I'm freaking fuming. WHO would KICK a child? WTF?

Why does every non-parent thinks they are more expert at taking charge of kids than those kids' parents are? Yeah, I was a perfect parent once, then I had kids. It's a LOT harder when YOU are on the inside with those kids 24/7 day in and day out. Yelling at someone elses child, once in a while may make it SEEM like y'all know what you are doing, but I guarantee, if those were your kids, it wouldn't work that way.

Children act like.... children. If they are destructive or attempt to harm your animals, REMOVE them from the situation, THEN take it up with the parents in a kind, non-emotional tone.

If you don't have kids, you aren't a child behavior expert.

But, everybody who has occasional access to nieces and nephews or neighbor's children always seems to think they know MORE about how to take care of kids than those kids' actual parents.

A few hours with a child isn't being a parent. Nor does that person KNOW what it is like to actually have full care of a child of their own.

If there are problems, bring it up with the parent if you aren't the parent of that child, you have NO business taking up any kind of discipline on your own.

If you, for some reason, think the child is some kind of hell spawn (and I can pretty much assure you he or she isn't) then don't allow the kid in your house and only see those people in their house.
09/25/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
My husband's older brother and his family visited us for the first time after we've moved to a different state. His bratty eight year old son ran all over our house, harassing our poodle, kicked and stomped inside our car when we drove them ...
You can also have hubby.....NOT YOU.....speak honestly to his brother about this. Meanwhile..no more invites to your house. Simply "meet" them out ( on neutral turf).
09/25/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by ViVix
You need to find a way to involve the parents instead of becoming the parents. Also, perhaps they know something you don't (he may have a behavioral problem, he doesn't adjust well after long trips, etc.). P.S. Am I the only one who enjoys a ...
I agree Vixen. Most of the responses here sound like people I sure as hell wouldn't want around my kids!

Why is it that the least tolerant and least understanding people seem to think they have all the answers for parenting issues?

If you hate kids so damn much (and if you KNOW kids, you KNOW that they act like CHILDREN) don't have them in your house.... or in your life. This thread sounds like one of those "Child-free" message boards: "I kicked someone elses brat in the supermarket hahaha!" threads. WTF? I'm astounded at the INTOLERANCE of some of these responses.

Thank God for birth control. Some people should NEVER be parents. Anyone who thinks kicking a child is a healthy response to ANY behavior.... Jeesus....
09/25/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
You can also have hubby.....NOT YOU.....speak honestly to his brother about this. Meanwhile..no more invites to your house. Simply "meet" them out ( on neutral turf).
Exactly, Bignuf. Rossie needs to step back and if it was that bad (and it sounds to me the kid was just acting like a tired, overstimulated 8 year old) talk to her husband about it later.

No one has the legal right to take responsibility and that includes ANY kind of discipline, for someone else's child, unless you have DIRECT instructions and permission from the parents.

If the child is that destructive, Rossie, then talk to your husband, have him do it and then do not have that family invited to your house anymore. Pretty sure that is going to cause a family rift, but damn, if the child is that bad then go ahead. Make waves, I'm sure it will immediately change the way that child's parents' parent him. (heavy sarcasm)

Was the kid bad enough to cause you to start a family rift? If so, then cut them out. If NOT, then, I think maybe you maybe don't understand that ALL kids misbehave from time to time. Yeah, kids stomp sometimes. SO? Either tolerate it, or don't have people with children near your "stuff."

Only you can decide what's more important; a relationship with this family, or being "right" (despite your not having children of your own) about how someone elses child behaves from time to time.

I would err on the side of tolerance but I KNOW that kids sometimes misbehave and that other people's kids behavior isn't MY business. Like I said, I was a "Perfect parent" once... then I had kids.

A little tolerance of children tends to go a LONG way.
09/25/2012
pixylove101 pixylove101
Step in and set ground rules for while the child is at your house/in your vehicle. That way he know and his parents know what to expect when around you all. Don't yell or spank as that isn't your place.
09/25/2012
Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by LadyDarknezz
I feel you did the right thing. Young children that age really need guidance on what to do and not to do, especially in the company of others. I have two bratty autistic nephews, and they are currently living here with me at the moment. I am getting ...
It's hard work to look after an autistic child, and you have two in your home, I can picture how erratic your household is! Autistic children are different from your everyday bad-behaving kids, I hope your sister has sought the proper therapy for them. It takes a lot of understanding and learning the proper techniques to make things work for the kids, it's harder for autistic children to comprehend what they have done wrong.
09/25/2012
Princess Zelda Princess Zelda
you id the right thing and if they had gotten mad at you (and if it was me) I would have pulled over (or inside the house this still applys) and said "You don't like it? you can get out. teach your son better mannors hes in my car hitting my stuff and if you're not going to deal with him I will." if his parrents are not going to teach him whats wrong and whats right he will think he can get away with anything and thats big trouble.
09/25/2012
Total posts: 29
Unique posters: 24