When you feel pressured.....

js250 js250
If someone is pressuring you to feel or do something, how do you react? Do you just give in to get them to shut up--or do you dig in and not consider what they are saying?
06/10/2013
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Chelynn67 Chelynn67
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
If someone is pressuring you to feel or do something, how do you react? Do you just give in to get them to shut up--or do you dig in and not consider what they are saying?
No I rarely do
06/10/2013
MrWill MrWill
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
If someone is pressuring you to feel or do something, how do you react? Do you just give in to get them to shut up--or do you dig in and not consider what they are saying?
I'm stubborn, and I will fight tooth and nail to resist something I don't believe in or think is a worthy cause!
06/10/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
First of all, I don't like to be pressured, as I imagine most people don't, but I don't have the immediate resist at all costs response, either. I know my mom & sister knee-jerk to "Hell no!" & won't even consider what is being pressed upon them. I have never been like that, but being approached that way does get my dander up!

I usually just outright address the fact that I won't accept them pressuring me & don't appreciate that they'd try. Regardless of their motive, I want to be treated with respect and that includes showing me the that you respect my intelligence enough to listen & weigh your suggestion appropriately without trying to manipulate me. I cannot stand someone with the attitude that they know better than I what is best for me! How arrogant & insulting!

So, I never give in just to shut them up and frankly, that would never occur to me as an option. But, I also don't go to the other extreme. I consider what their motive might be in coming across so strongly. That can be important, especially when it's family. For example, some parents have trouble recognizing their adult children's autonomy & might fall back on old patterns of "persuasion". If it comes from a place of genuine concern, I can get over it more easily.

I always do my best not to be pressured into making the decision or commitment they want at that time. That way, I have time to cool down from being annoyed and can seriously consider what they said. If they have insight into something that benefits me, or they otherwise were on the right track, then I have no problem accepting that and altering what I do or think.

I am always considering new input, discarding what doesn't help & changing my view if new evidence is compelling - I see no shame in changing my stance when new information comes to light. I can only base my conclusions on what info I have at hand. If I find more, I add it in & see how it meshes. I am capable of learning, but don't want to be led there by the nose. I can say, "You know, I hadn't considered that" or, " I never looked at it like that and you're right..."

But, if it is something I disagree with, I do not leave it up for discussion. I am not going to change my mind just because they want me to, or because they came to a different conclusion & that's fine with me. I am not threatened by someone disagreeing with me, but I am not going to try and change their mind, nor be pressured into defending my opinion. While I like to relate to someone over the things we agree upon, I don't need to agree upon everything with them, nor do I feel the need to challenge them if I don't agree. I can let it go as long as it's of no consequence to our interpersonal relationship.

If someone repeatedly persists in pressuring me, then I simply stop giving them the option of doing so. If that means not interacting with them at all, or just refusing to be led into conversations about certain topics, that just depends on their level of intrusiveness.
06/10/2013
Madsinner Madsinner
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
If someone is pressuring you to feel or do something, how do you react? Do you just give in to get them to shut up--or do you dig in and not consider what they are saying?
depends on the situation, if its just an opinion i don't share with them then i might reconsider it
06/10/2013
spiced spiced
Usually, when someone's pressuring me, I tend to "smile and nod" — and then research whatever it is they're pressuring me about after they're not around anymore. I make up my own mind. If that means something different from what they wanted me to do / say / believe, I won't bring up the issue with them again. If they bring it up, I find a lighthearted way to tell them I disagree with them. People who can't handle that I didn't give in to their pressure usually don't stay friends with me very long.
06/10/2013
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
If someone is pressuring you to feel or do something, how do you react? Do you just give in to get them to shut up--or do you dig in and not consider what they are saying?
Depends on the setting and the people (how well I know them, how close we are,) but most of the time, I find myself giving in against my actual will. Just doing whatever they are asking just to keep the peace. It's horrible & has caused me serious damage, so I've been working on that. It's never my family or loved ones or spouse who pressures me, so that makes it even harder for me to stand up. I know they won't hate me or do anything to me if they were ever to pressure me and I stood up, but others... I guess it's that I don't know how strangers or people I'm not real close to will react if I do. It's also because I'm bad about avoiding conflict. Not necessarily because I like to keep peacefulness, but partly because I am scared. Yeah. It's a problem. Lol.

Oh, like Spiced said -- that's about how I am when it comes to my feeliings or beliefs. I will lightheartedly disagree if it comes down to opinion/belief whatever and I feel pressured to believe only what they are saying. I just wish I was able to easily do the same when it came to being pressured to do something.
06/11/2013
clockwork451 clockwork451
Well, I'm certainly not going to budge. If someone gets too pushy with me, I'm going to get defensive and then offensive and they're going to get more than they bargained for.
06/11/2013
joolie joolie
Quote:
Originally posted by spiced
Usually, when someone's pressuring me, I tend to "smile and nod" — and then research whatever it is they're pressuring me about after they're not around anymore. I make up my own mind. If that means something different from what ... More
Yes. I do this, plus raising my eyebrows occasionally, and saying the thoughtful hmm. I may or may not be focussing on what is being said.
06/11/2013
Total posts: 9
Unique posters: 9